Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
So yeah... things continue to be busy with art shows & awesomeness... but also my mother-in-law seems to have entered a new stage of Alzheimer's since COVID last week... and my mom may have to have eye surgery for a detached retina or something... but hey, it could be a LOT worse... so we enjoyed ourselves with a few movies... August 22 – Abigail (2024) A team of criminals kidnap a young ballerina to ransom for $50 million from her rich father. They take her to a safe house while the transaction goes down… but then realize… she’s not what she seems… unless you already figure out that she’s a f**king vampire… and hijinx ensue!!! Okay, this movie was exactly what I expected to be… bloody… dumb… fun. I was REALLY worried when the chick from the new Scream movies was going to make it all about family like it’s “The Haunting” or some stupid sh*t but… luckily this movie also has a sense of humor. Is it for everybody? Of course not… but if you’re into horror, it’s not bad at all. Rating – 9/10 – Similar to M3GAN last year, just dumb fun horror… August 24 – Romancing the Stone (1984) A romance novelist sets off to Colombia to save her kidnapped sister… but then she finds herself in basically one of her own novels when hijinx ensue. Now… this was a VHS tape that I had growing up… and if you don’t know, this is probably one of the most perfectly crafted movies of all time from a writing – directing standpoint. Sad story about the writer Diane Thomas, but director Robert Zemeckis went off to great stuff as well. It’s funny, full of action, there are a few 80’s cringe moments, Kathleen Turner & Michael Douglas are great… Danny Devito & the guy that plays his brother are… also there. Just check it out if you haven’t already… Rating – 10+/10 – Basically the perfect romantic comedy August 26 – Joe (2013) Nicolas Cage passed on “Expendables 3” to be in this movie by director David Gordon Green (This, “Pineapple Express”, “Halloween” reboots & “Righteous Gemstones”?) about a young homeless boy (Tye Sheridan) who has an abusive father… but while looking for work meets Joe, a shady illegal tree poisoner paid by lumber companies to kill trees to replace with oaks… and they hit it off… but Joe has a dark past full of rage & addiction… and hijinx ensue. Now, the tone of this movie is pretty odd where even the “good guy” Joe is kind of a violent prick who makes horrible life decisions too… but yeah, it’s an interesting & beautiful look at the Deep South in a bit of a twisted tale. Rating – 8/10 – Not for everybody but definitely worth a watch… Tye & Nic kill it acting wise… and the abusive dad in the role of a lifetime for a non-actor August 28 – Longlegs (2024) FINALLY! The Nic Cage serial killer movie comes to streaming… and you KNOW that we bought it sight-unseen. Heavily influenced by Silence of the Lambs, and directed by the son of Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins), this movie follows a young female FBI investigator as she uses her mildly psychic powers to track down a serial killer in the mid-90s. Now, I don’t want to give anything away (obviously Nic Cage is the serial killer) but there’s definitely some mystical elements in this movie… but great performances by Nic, Maika Monroe, Alicia Witt, Blair Underwood, basically all the main characters… and man, Nic Cage is amazing… Rating – 10/10 – I’m glad that we purchased it… and we may be talking about it next Nic-August Cage See you all next week! Steve
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Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Well... I'm feeling better & Izzy is on the mend... but now MIL is in the thralls of COVID... but hey, we watched a few movies... August 16 – Death Becomes Her (1992) I thought that I had seen this movie before… but I always got it confused with “Witches of Eastwick”, “War of the Roses”, “Bonfire of the Vanities”, “Moonlighting”, “Moonstruck” and a bunch of other movies from the late 80’s / early 90’s that had a very similar poster / cast / not at all interesting to boys ages 8-12. Spoilers: The only one of those that I’ve actually seen before is Witches of Eastwick recently… and I liked it. In this one, a fading actress (Meryl Streep 30+ years ago?) steals a husband (Bruce Willis) from her rival (Goldie Hawn). Cut to a few years later, everybody is miserable… but now she knows about this immortality treatment where definitely not a witch Isabella Rossalini gives her immortality… but her body is still susceptible to injury… and hijinx ensue… especially when her rival & her husband plan to kill her. Now, the special effects (along with makeup) of this movie won an Academy Award & I get it. For the time, VERY well done, especially with the makeup stuff… and it’s a dark comedy that gets some legit laughs out of you. Yeah, I’d say give it a gander… Rating – 8/10 – Lots of inside industry jokes & stuff too… Bruce Willis is a simp… it’s a lot of fun… August 18 – The King’s Man (2021) The prequel story to the origins of the Kingsmen (there were two movies a few years back with Taren Egerton) and this one is set on the eve of the first World War and a mysterious man known as the Shepherd is plotting to kill MILLIONS through starting this World War through political manipulation & his team of spies… meanwhile Britain has a Lord (Ralph Fiennes) who’s focused on keeping his son from being drafted & dying needlessly… but he wants to do something… and hijinx ensue. Now, if you’ve seen the other Kingsmen movies, it’s all from director Matthew Vaughn & if you’re familiar with his style… you know it’s going to be VERY raunchy & VERY bloody… and as long as you’re okay with that, this movie was an interesting action movie with some fun action scenes. Sure the human elements are a little bleh… kind of like when a Guy Ritchie or Jason Statham movie tries to have emotions… but luckily Ralph Fiennes can at least portray human emotions rather than Charlie Hunnam. Rating – 8/10 – I’d put it on par with the other Kingsmen movies… it’s okay August 20 – The Bikeriders (2024) This is a real story (drama) about a bunch of guys in suburban Chicago who got together & started a motorcycle club. They all had unresolved mental issues including aggression, regret, main character syndrome, so much more… then a few years later, people with even worse issues (Vietnam vets) start joining the group giving even less thought towards self preservation, their families, the law, etc. & hijinx ensue… by which I mean, people die. The end. Okay, that may be the story… but the way it’s told was okay… kind of a flashback while one of the old ladies (Jodie Comer) thinks back about her man (Austin Butler’s psycho ass) and the guy who started the club (Tom Hardy) as she’s telling stories to a photographer/writer. The performances are pretty good too… the accents are kinda fun sometimes… not sure what Tom Hardy likes about doing a weird Chicago accent in everything since Capone but… hey, he’s Tom Hardy & can do no wrong… the story just… I can’t personal connect with any of these a-hole characters. I don’t feel sorry for them. That may be a me problem but… they make choices… several times a day… with only one outcome… and yet I’m supposed to feel sorry when the horrible outcome happens? I don’t know… Rating – 8/10 – Movie was okay but probably adds another star if you know about making horrible decisions as a lifestyle… We've had to miss a few shows due to 'rona but we're back this Saturday at the Ogden Farmers Market! Come saw howdy! The weather should be in the 70's after being in the hundreds for almost two months! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Been a busy few weeks that were a lot of fun with Katie... but not as financially beneficial as we hoped... but at least we're both sick now... anyway, here's what we saw... August 2 – Jesse Stone: Thin Ice (2009) Okay, so then we started tearing through the Jesse Stone movies… and this is #5 in the series. In this installment, we start with Jesse & his buddy Healy getting shot by an assassin. Healy gets the worst of it (think Suitcase in the last movie… Suitcase is fine now by the way & recovering fine… and Viola Davis is gone… apparently to have a baby?) but now Stone is on a vengeance path… oh and looking for a kidnapped child from six year ago because a letter was sent to the mother? Don’t worry about it… mostly vengeance. William Sadler shows up for the first time as Gino Fish, a mob boss that helps out Jesse from time to time… in a way… but yeah, this one is primarily a vengeance tale… but in a slow way for a 90 minute movie. It’s no Beekeeper. Rating – 7/10 – Not bad… but not particularly memorable either August 5 – Jesse Stone: No Remorse (2010) Well, Chief Stone is suspended now… and dipping DEEP into his alcoholism… so right off the bat I’m judging because he’s not doing anything wise at all… but Healy (he’s fine now BTW) asks him to be a consultant for Boston PD… and he finally gets a cell phone… but he doesn’t use it… and tears his landline out of his home… you know, for plot convenience I assume… and Suitcase is the new chief with only one other officer (50-something year old lady Rose) and there’s a convenience store murder… and they have no idea what to do… and hijinx ensue. Yeah, this one in particular was kind of like “What are we doing here?” Is he a cop? No? Then why is he working two cases… drunk as hell… and nobody else even seems to be trying to do anything… Rating – 6/10 – Come on, Jesse! Get your sh*t together… or just become a gigolo with that golden hog of yours that no lady can resist. Period. August 8 – Jesse Stone: Innocents Lots (2011) Well, Jesse’s forced into involuntary retirement now… but that’s not going to stop him from investigating the death of a teenager girl that he helped out a while back… and after a decade of losing touch, going to school in Boston then getting into prostitution & drugs (whew), now she’s found dead on the side of the road in Paradise… oh & the two cops in paradise now have a new chief, who’s the son-in-law of a town councilman… but has no idea what he’s doing other than writing speeding tickets to create revenue… and hijinx ensue. Yeah, this one just kind of centers on a horrible rehab place in Boston… and nobody caring about anything… except Jesse’s golden hog… and yeah, we see all the people from the previous movies (except Viola Davis)… and most of these movies just kinda end… like I assume the books do… but you’re left kinda going… “Wow… that was boring, not much happened AND I feel like nothing was learned. Cool.” Rating – 5/10 – Really starting to lose steam… August 10 – Jesse Stone: Benefit of a Doubt (2012) Okay, this one starts off with the new chief & a deputy EXPLODING, so at least something happens (must’ve got notes from the last one). Without a police chief, they invite Jesse back… but the other cops have quit because of the last guy… so now it’s really just him trying to solve the murder… but it looks like the old chief might’ve been corrupt (GASP!). BUT Jesse says a cop deserves the “benefit of a doubt” (roll credits) and we get visits with all the old stars because… you know… gotta get ‘em in there… and since it’s not really 90 minutes worth of material but you can fill that with drama & “character development” but Saul Rubinek is at least mildly entertaining. Rating – 7/10 – The explosion & Saul Rubinek kinda saves this one… August 13 – Jesse Stone: Lost in Paradise (2015) We made it! The FINAL (or at least latest) Jesse Stone movie… and we bring everybody back… because yes, Jesse’s “beloved” dog passed away to start the movie (great start) but as luck would have it… there’s a recent murder victim with a dog standing over their corpse in the same manner he found the first dog… and there’s a Boston Ripper serial killer (played by Luke Perry) that’s already been caught & confessed to the murders… except one of them… the owner of the dog… so Jesse has to get to the bottom of this. There’s also a teenager (Mackenzie Foy) who has an abusive mother for that subplot… and another young girl who may have been a prostitute & know who killed the unconfirmed serial killer victim (oh because she was also a prostitute to spite her husband or something?) and yeah, hijinx ensue as we got through all the stars of the previous movies (again, except Viola Davis)… and the whole time I kept expecting Jesse to say “I’m getting too old for this sh*t…” but yeah… it’s another Jesse Stone movie. Rating – 7/10 – Meh… it’s a decent send-off I guess but… yeah, you’d kinda hafta watch the other (checks notes) EIGHT!!! EIGHT OF THESE THINGS!!! That’s 12 hours!!! 14 if you include this one!!! Why do I hate myself this way?!? Have a great day everybody! Stay safe out there!!! Steve |
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
December 2024
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