Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate... and/or watch movies in the week leading up to it...

November 21 – The Lost World (1992)
 
No, not the Spielberg directed sequel to Jurassic Park… this is the Arthur Conan Doyle inspired one from the director of My Pet Monster that came out the year BEFORE JP. It stars John Rhys-Davis as the explorer leading an expedition into the heart of Africa for a “Lost World” that he had heard about from a dying man & his sketchbook on his last voyage… and hijinx ensue. It has a very TV movie feel to it… especially with the dinosaurs being in that low-budget 80’s way… and used sparingly… but the performances… are they enough to pull me back in?!?
 
Rating - ???/10 – DINOVEMBER ON EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES!!! TELL A FRIEND!!! WE JUST TALKED TO CAPTAIN POWER TIM DUNIGAN!!!
 
November 23 – Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning – Part One (2023)
 
Yes, I finally watched it… nearly 18 months after it came out… and I think it’s been on Amazon Prime for a few months but… it got lost in the shuffle. You know how it is. I think the first half of the 7th installment of the franchise but… they seem to have found their stride since the 3rd one… and this time superherospy Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) needs to find a Key (capital intentional) to find The Entity (also intentional, but basically the McGuffin AI that’s going to destroy the world Skynet style) and blasts from his past pop up because they’re working for The Entity… and hijinx ensue. Look, I love an action movie… but if you’re having every line delivered as if it’s the Most Important Line Ever Delivered in Cinema… EXCEPT for the one “comedic improv” driving scene that’s down the EXACT SAME PATH as the one in Fast X… it might just take me out of the movie a little bit… that being said…
 
Rating – 9/10 – I really enjoyed it… and if you like spy movies, then you’ve probably already seen it… but if not, check it out
 
November 25 – Sleepy Hollow (1999)
 
Some have said that this was Tim Burton’s last great movie… and I had a pretty bad experience when I watched this in theaters back in the day… but this nearly two hour retelling of the story of Ichabod Crane (Johnny Depp) & the Headless Horseman (Christopher Walken) with plenty of other great cast members thrown into a weird & whimsical tale of science meeting magic and just overall cookyness with a drab color pallet… is worth a watch. I noticed this time just how much of a nod to Hammer movies it is (since we watched a bunch a while back) & Depp wasn’t completely annoying in this one…
 
Rating – 9/10 – Not a bad flick & definitely good for the spooky season vibes
 
November 27 – Twisters (2024)
 
It’s a remake of the 90’s action flick about stormchasers Twister (you know, with Bill Paxton & Helen Hunt) but in this one they have the new Pitt McConaughey (Glen Powell) & some random blonde chick (who cares?) who are overcoming their demons of crippling inferiority complex and… I don’t know… handsome rationality? They’re trying to save people from tornados by dumping diaper chemicals into the whirly winds… but will they also find inexplicable love, other than the fact that they’re both kinda cute especially when compared to the people they surround themselves with?!? Look… this movie actually wasn’t that bad. The plot: Pointless & convoluted. The characters: Dull AF. The motivations: Completely lost, especially when compared to the original. In the original, the trauma of the tornado when they were a kid was the reason & drive behind their chasing tornados… in this one, it’s what keeps them from performing the simplest act in the field that they’ve allegedly dedicated their lives to… and yet everyone around them still puts the crux of their plan based solely on their shoulders to differing results. However, still not a bad movie… just made me want to watch the original for a good movie though.
 
Rating – 7/10 – Very fitting that Paul Scheer showed up at the end & had probably the best moment in the film

Have a great long weekend (hopefully) everybody!!!

​Steve

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, the sun keeps spinning (or I guess we're spinning & the sun stays stationary... but who knows with today's education system?) and we're still here... day by day... plotting along... but I did get to speak to Captain Power himself (Tim Dunigan) the other day so... that was kinda cool... and occasionally watching movies...

November 15 – The Dinosaur Project (2012)
 
This is a found-footage dinosaur expedition movie that I had originally watched a few years ago & remembered liking, so I was wondering if it held up. Basically a famous explorer leads a team into the heart of the Congo to search for Mokele Mbembe, their plane crashes, his teenage son stowed away, hijinx ensue when they find out there are dinosaurs living in this valley or whatever. Yes, the teenage kid who’s our main character is f**king annoying as just about anybody in a found footage movie is. Yes, the ability of the cameras & recording devices are absolutely stunning and put Star Trek technology to shame. Of course any time some real action happens the cameras don’t record it & they might as well have added “Scene Missing – Out of Budget”. However, what did I think of the movie?!?
 
Rating - ???/10 – DINOVEMBER ON EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES!!! Spoilers: It has dinosaurs so… I probably liked it
 
November 17 – The Dogs of War (1980)
 
Election Day here in America is a day that I grow more & more disheartened with the people in my totally a first-world nation… so I prefer to watch movies to pick me up. This year, I randomly picked this movie since it was coming up for a future episode of the podcast. Christopher Walken leads a mercenary team into the African nation of Zangaro to lead a coup & overthrow the evil warlord (though what does that really mean nowadays?). Well… spoilers… I really enjoyed the ending of the movie. Pacing could have used some work & trims here and there… but as for the movie as a whole…
 
Rating - ???/10 – Find out this December when we go “Walken in a Winter Wonderland”
 
November 19 – The Sword & the Sorcerer (1982)
 
I’m not going to lie… I thought I had seen this movie as soon as I saw the main character’s sword (which is THREE blades parallel to each other, which I assume makes it THREE times as heavy & a third as effective) and of course… Richard Lynch was the bad guy… but other than that, I didn’t really recall anything about this Albert Pyun flick… and it’s just about everything you want in a “Sword & Sandals” fantasy flick from the 80’s… including a significant role from friend of the podcast Anthony DeLongis… even with a paper thin plot.
 
Rating – 8/10 – A fun, dumb watch if you’re into the genre of 80’s fantasy flick… which of course I am

See you next week!

​Steve

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Day by day we keep soldiering on... and watching movies... that's all I got this week...

November 7 – A Sound of Thunder (2005)
 
Based on a Ray Bradbury short story about the not too distant future where a corporation uses time travel to go back on a safari so that rich douches can kill an allosaurus… a few minutes before he would be roasted by a volcano so as not to destroy the delicate balance of time… but of course, hijinx ensue when the crush a butterfly 65 million years ago & time waves change everything instantly (though they somehow remember) and they have to travel back to change it… but they don’t know what happened to take it from a short story to a 95 minute movie. This movie is… not good… like on any level. Sure, Academy Award winner Ben Kingsley gives a few speeches & Ed Burns and a few others are passable but… the special effects are laughably bad even by 90’s standards (and this was mid 2000’s), the plot doesn’t make a whole lot of sense… but you know what?
 
Rating - ???/10 – You can hear ALL about it on Everything I Learned from Movies with our good friends Diana & Ryan from Happily Ever Aftermath!!!
 
November 9 – Metamorphosis (1990)
 
I was searching for dinosaur movies… because I’m afraid that I miss a few… and this came up… and I had NEVER heard of it. So I read the quick synopsis about a young geneticist who turns himself into a T-Rex… okay, I’m SOLD! Let’s see who’s in this thing… okay, no real big names… ooooh but a lot of Italian ones and… wait… WHAT’S THIS?!? Directed by George Eastman?!? Surely that can’t be the same… oh… why yes it is?!? Okay… so there’s an Italian production about a scientist turning himself into a dinosaur… directed by BIG APE FROM 2019: AFTER THE FALL OF NEW YORK!?!?!?!
 
Rating - ???/10 – EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES ON ALL THE MAJOR PODCATCHERS!!!
 
November 11 – The Substance (2024)
 
People had been raving about this movie as the best horror movie of the year… and reading the premise, I saw it as a mix of “The Stuff” & “Catwoman” but I thought that even though it was described to me as a Cronenberg-esque body horror with a message (because Cronenberg usually doesn’t other than “isn’t this gross AND sexy? Your new kink?”) but… okay Demi Moore is (playing) a faded fitness star from the 80’s (who can still f**king get it) but she’s aging out… and producer/manager Dennis Quaid is skeezy as hell… so then she gets a mysterious package for The Substance to help her regain her youth… by basically making a body double (Margaret Qualley) and hijinx ensue when rules aren’t followed. Guys… this movie is not for everybody… but you should watch it as long as you can stomach it. The performances are amazing. There’s plenty of gratuitous nudity… but also body horror… and yeah, you’ll feel things.
 
Rating – 10+/10 – It’s been a long time since I’d give any kind of horror movie a 10+ but… there you have it…
 
November 13 – Trap (2024)
 
You’ve seen the trailer… a man takes his teenage daughter to a pop star’s concert (played by M Night’s daughter) but soon realizes through an employee BEGGING to be fired that… the whole concert is a trap for a serial killer (okay, many questions just off that premise that… really won’t be answered in the movie). Oh, did I mention that man IS the serial killer? Oh okay, cool… let’s go fake concert entrapment! But wait… what if I told you… the concert was only the first half of the movie… and it gets even MORE ridiculous?!? OF COURSE!!! IT’S AN M NIGHT MOVIE!!! That being said… I had a lot of dumb fun watching it. Josh Hartnett is great as a crazy dad serial killer… really all the performances are good… even the weird Uncle of the pop star that shows up for plot reasons (yes, it’s M Night) but yeah… it’s dumb.
 
Rating – 8/10 – So many plot holes but at least more entertaining than I expected

Next week you get to find out the movie that I was watching on Election Night... it's a goodie

​Steve

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

It's gonna be okay... or not... whatever... I spent last night watching a movie where Christopher Walken shoots two Presidents dead & spends time in a jail cell with another... so then back to reality...

November 1 – Tank (1984)
 
A retired general (James Garner) owns a tank… because that’s a thing. So when his son (C Thomas Howell) gets imprisoned by a corrupt sheriff in the deeeeeep South, there’s only one thing to do. Load up that tank & go get his boy. Now… I’m all for blasting corrupt authority figures away with advanced weaponry to humble them… but this movie is… let’s just say that it’ll definitely be talked about on the podcast one day. Step by step, you start to kind of question a few things… because everybody in this movie is borderline irredeemable… but goddamn James Garner is charismatic…
 
Rating – 8/10 – It’s dumb fun… and as you know, I like that
 
November 3 – Addams Family Halloween (1977)
 
BIG fan of the Addams family series, movies & whatever TV movie one-offs that I can usually find (still trying to find a decent copy of the Tim Curry-Daryl Hannah one). So when I saw this come up on Tubi, I had to check it out as I was not familiar. So… about 15 years after the original series, this was the pilot episode for a new series… and stars most of the original cast (yes, the kids are in their mid to late 20’s… but fear not, as there are other Wednesday Jr & Pugsley Jr that are in the movie… but never really explained where they came from?) and a few randos as weird Uncles that I assume might take over the series after a year or so… but wow… okay, so then there’s also a group of people trying to replace Gomez & Morticia with actors… while the real ones are hosting a Halloween party… and hijinx ensue… as the Uncle is also trying to bang Morticia… but this is a damn mess… the whole thing is shot on TV stock from the 70’s & not restored… the story makes absolutely no sense… the original actors are great for what they do… but yeah, too many questions & not enough laughs. Almost every joke falls completely flat & then through the floor.
 
Rating – 3/10 – Probably the worst Addams Family thing that I’ve seen to date… but still Addams
 
November 5 – Tropic Thunder (2008)
 
I still can’t believe that Robert Downey jr was nominated for an Academy Award while in blackface… yeah, it’s the movie about making a Vietnam War movie… about a fake story… with a star studded cast & one of the greatest surprise cameos ever… just watch it…
 
Rating – 10+/10 – Still amazing that this movie still makes me laugh so hard…

Be strong! We're gonna be okay... call me if you need someone to talk to...

Steve