Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Well, another year has come & gone... 2024 is finally over but 2025 is here now... and he/she/it ain't f**king around... so prepare yourself... by watching movies, I guess? December 27 – Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024) Yes, the sequel some 37 years after the original… and they bring back most of the original cast (Keaton, Ryder, O’Hara) and add some new faces (Jenna Ortega and Monica Bellucci) and… okay, the story is kind of whatever. Basically the father dies (wasn’t asked back & you probably know why) and the family is reunited there… and Lydia has a ghost talk show or something… and her daughter is at boarding school… and the mom is still insane… and drama ensues when the daughter is tricked into giving up her life for a cute boy ghost next door and… you’ve seen the latest Ghostbusters & how dumb that was, right? Yeah… more of that… but meanwhile Beetlejuice is being chased by his ex-wife… and hijinx ensue. I don’t know… this one didn’t grab me at all. Yeah, there are funny & nostalgic moments but… everybody sucks in this movie. You know, the characters I mean… and the whole thing didn’t make sense… but still waiting for the next great Tim Burton movie since Sleepy Hollow… Rating – 7/10 – Just kinda meh… December 28 – AfrAId (2024) A family tests out a new AI home assistant system… and hijinx ensue as it always does. That’s the story. Sound familiar? Well, this one has John Cho (Harold & Kumar) as the dad… and the AI starts off as kinda good at first… but then as it develops he finds out the sinister truth behind it… and guys, I’m going to try not to spoil it in case you want to watch it but… liberties are taken with reality towards the 3rd act. The whole movie comes off as kind of a scare piece for AI (which it should be) but at the same time it’s to the level of Reefer Madness being a scare piece for weed… it starts with AI becoming a vengeful friend & escalates from there. Again, just didn’t grip me… but decent performances & such. Rating – 7/10 – Guys, why invite one of these narcs into your home? December 29 – The Last Man on Earth (1964) 2025 we’re celebrating the Year of the Apocalypse on the podcast… and a pretty important post-apocalyptic movie in the history of cinema is when Vincent Price was the last man on earth, living in an empty Rome, going door to door slaying zombie-vampires or something & then realizing that he might not be the last person on Earth… and hijinx ensue. This movie is a classic for so many things… post apocalyptic movies with real thought behind it… introducing zombies in a way to the movie masses (though they’re called vampires but… I mean, watch the movie) and just bringing up interesting points in a sixty year old movie that somehow resonate differently after 2020… but will it still grip Steve after all these years? Rating - ???/10 – Find out on Everything I Learned from Movies with a first-time guest, artist & podcaster Steve Stones!!! December 30 – Bad Boys: Ride or Die (2024) The 4th installation of the Bad Boys universe (but unfortunately they ruined the title Bad Boys 4 Life with the 3rd installation because they had NO idea it was going to be a hit?) starts off with Will Smith & Martin Lawrence STILL as Miami’s most amazing cops even though they’re both in their late-50’s/early 60’s? Spoilers… Martin Lawrence has a heart attack… then somebody tries to smear the name of their deceased former captain (Joey Pants) and then… I swear Will Smith had a heart attack too… but they say panic attack… and then they’re framed for shenanigans & hijinx ensue as they must then become fugitives to clear names. Look… this is an action movie & it delivers on that… over the top set pieces, lots of camera movements, explosions, one-liners, Michael Bay even has a cameo since it’s basically the next generation of him directing it… but does that style hold up? Rating – 8/10 – I really enjoyed it being a fan of the genre… but it’s all stuff that you’ve seen before so can be tedious… Reggie gets his respect though… December 31 – Red One (2024) Santa has been kidnapped by terrorists or something from his North Pole compound… and now his elvish head of security (The Rock) needs to join forces with the hacker that helped the terrorists (Captain America) and hijinx ensue… Now… you know this is going to be a dumb action movie with plenty of attempted humor for the kids. If you go in with that frame of mind… you know, the whole “movie gotta movie” and “oh yeah, of course that’s totally a thing, enough said” mentality… it can be entertaining. Plenty of Christmas gags, just ‘roided out & over the top is you would expect in… basically a Christmas superhero movie. I would say that there are twists & turns… but again, it’s mostly just the whole “Oh yeah… I guess in a world where that’s a thing, it makes sense that’s what happened from the beginning, had I known such a thing was possible like everybody else seems to know” but would I recommend watching it? Rating – 7/10 – Sure, why not? Honestly… I’m forgetting a lot of this movie already other than JK Simmons as Santa & the waitress from Sunny in Philadelphia was in this Have a happy & safe New Year's tonight & we're all looking forward to seeing you in 2025!!! Steve & Izzy
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Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
...and a Merry Christmas / Hannukah to you all... or however you celebrate! Yes, it's Christmas Eve... and we're celebrating in the best way possible... watching movies between running all over town to get those final gifts & see our loved ones! Here are a few that we've seen... December 19 – Madame Web (2024) Okay, so we’re trying to catch up on 2024 movies… including some of the bad ones that we’d missed earlier this year now that they’re at least free… and this movie… is easily one of the stupidest f**king movies that I’ve seen in a while… maybe ever! This is part of the Sony Marvel Spiderman Universe that they don’t even know if it’s connected! The Venom movies, Morbius, this & I’m just going to assume Kraven coming this week are at best a throwback to the ridiculous 80’s & 90’s comic book movies that just… are made to hopefully grab a few bucks from kids & the families that have to bring them… except NOBODY asked for this movie… not even the kids… especially not the teenage girls that it’s aimed at as a coming together of girl power against some random dude that nobody has heard of in a story that is so unbelievably cliché & pointless that it’s hard to watch without mocking constantly. Believe me, I went in with the best of intentions for this movie… but it just seems like nobody involved even cared in their performance. Even Adam Scott as Ben Parker (FOR SOME REASON?!?) was palatable at best. Rating – 3/10 – That being said… if you’re a fan of train wrecks, go ahead & watch it! December 20 – In a Violent Nature (2024) Next up was an interesting one… your basically by-the-numbers 80’s slasher flick… but exclusively from the point of view of the slasher. What an interesting concept! Honestly… it was done pretty well too. You hear all the exposition scenes kind of being done in the distance as the slasher slowly creeps up on the house… or lake… or whatever… every cliché is hit… the kills are impressive & creative (the yoga girl in particular) and a great movie for horror fans. That being said… there are long stretches of the movie where it’s just the slasher slowly trotting through the forest (over the course of several days) which are beautifully shot but seem to just be there to get to the 90 minute runtime needed… and frankly, the ending kind of craps the bed… but again, getting it to 80-90 minutes with a simple concept like that can be tough. So would I recommend it? Rating – 8/10 – If you’re a horror fan, absolutely… otherwise, you’re probably going to be checking your watch a few times… December 21 – I Saw the TV Glow (2024) Next up was this one that came highly recommend from a few people who know movies… and it’s about a teenage boy (who I’m pretty sure is supposed to be autistic or at least on the spectrum) and he’s introduced to this 90’s TV show called The Pink Opaque by a teenage girl & it’s her absolute favorite… and they both have interesting family lives… but then things start getting a little strange… and then she disappears after a house fire & presumed dead… but then she comes back… and hijinx ensue… especially when she says that she’s been IN THE SHOW for the last decade. Okay, I get… that this movie is a metaphor… about youth, aging, time passing differently, trauma & the inability to process it, all kinds of stuff like that… so it’s a drama that’s beautifully shot & has some minor innovations. However, by the end of the movie, I was certain of two things… I’m not sure that Justice Smith can act… and this movie just did not get me like it did so many others (90+% on RT) and when the credits start to roll… I felt like they just forgot to do the last 10-15 minutes of the movie. Rating – 5/10 – Not going to be high on my 2024 awards… but not a bad watch December 22 – Subservience (2024) Megan Fox is a robomaid who falls for the husband of the house… and hijinx ensue. That’s the movie. Sure, there is some heavy handed plot ideas about AI & automatization of not just labor tasks like construction… but also rearing children and stuff like that… but let’s be real… it’s about a robomaid… the husband gets drunk one night & gets coaxed into banging it while his wife is in the hospital for a heart ailment… she goes SWF & learns how to override her controls… and by the end of the movie… well, there probably won’t be a sequel… but there could be. It’s exactly what you think it’s going to be. That being said… not too bad… just a dumb cyber thriller with ridiculous moments. Rating – 7/10 – I almost feel like I didn’t even have to watch the full movie to know beat for beat what was going to happen, but sometimes that’s what you want December 23 – Strange Darling (2024) A guy & a girl meet up… and discuss the rules for their “engagement” at a local motel… and hijinx ensue. That’s about all I’m going to say… other than the story is told in six chapters… but obviously not in order, in order to confuse the watcher (but didn’t really work for at least one viewer). The central character does a great job of playing a serial killer… and the side characters are very good at being one-dimensional… but just be warned, this is a bloody horror movie… and I liked it… but I can also see why some people are meh on it… Rating – 8/10 – An interesting character study more than anything… but also intense at times December 24 – Heretic (2024) Two Mormon missionary ladies go to a man’s house (Hugh Grant) and hijinx ensue when they realize that they’ve been locked into his iron maze of creepy theological discussion & terror. Simple premise, just a handful of actors (including a day of work from Topher Grace), genuinely creepy moments, and interesting ideas on the same level as a YouTube one-sided discussions (yes, we know that all religions are BS… or are they? They are) but if you’re into horror flicks, I’d recommend it. Not great but pretty good… and the performances are decent. Rating – 8/10 – Hugh Grant is going down the creepy road & I’m here for it December 25 – Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) The 2nd in the Resident Evil movie series from director/writer Paul WS Anderson & star Milla Jovovich… and after the events of the first movie, Raccoon City has been overrun with a virus turning people into bloodthirsty zombies… and a motely crew of professional killers (cops, soldiers, gangsters, second coming, etc.) join up to find a way out… but you know, the corporation responsible is trying to wipe away any evidence of their involvement… and hijinx ensue. Now… rewatching these movies after… you know, COVID & seeing the corporate run dystopia that my life has become has a slightly redder hue (not exactly rose colored) but… was it an enjoyable watch? Rating – ???/10 – FIND OUT AS WE GO THROUGH THE SEQUELS ON EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES!!! I'll see you guys on New Year's Eve (maybe) but if I don't... happy holidays & a happy new year of 2025!!! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Less than a week until Christmas... so I should probably start thinking about presents for loved ones or something... eh, we'll see how it all goes... maybe I'll watch some movies instead... December 13 – The Keep (1983) As you may have heard, Vinegar Syndrome FINALLY made a decent 4K/BluRay version of 1995’s “Congo” just in time for the 30th anniversary this summer… but there was another movie that they’re releasing on 4K and guys… this is a movie from director Michael Mann (Heat, Manhunter, etc.) about Nazis taking over a KEEP (basically a mountain pass) during WWII but while securing it, may have inadvertently released a demonic power beyond their comprehension that had been imprisoned there… and now they must rely on a Jewish professor (Ian McKellen), his daughter & a mysterious man with glowing eyes (Scott Glenn) to save THE WORLD!!! Well… I wasn’t about to buy this movie for $40 sight unseen through Vinegar Syndrome… so we rented it on Amazon for $4 and… guys, this movie was pretty sweet! Now is it $40 4K version sweet?!? Rating – 9/10 – I’ll probably wait for a sale where it drops to $20 but good for VS that their original run of 6000 copies sold out in a day December 15 – The Final Sacrifice (1990) Another MST3K watch… but this is one that I’d actually seen in a theatre. Let me explain… it was 7 years ago at a late night MST3K viewing in Berkeley… but it’s about a teenager whose father is killed by a cult… and now he’s trying to survive with the help of a stranger in a Canadian tuxedo… and hijinx ensue. This is often a TOP 5 MST3K episode among fans… so that’s definitely the way to watch this movie… but overall as a movie… Rating – 5/10 – MST3K all day December 17 – Brothers (2024) I love Peter Dinklage. If you tell me he’s in a movie, I’m watching it. Period. So when I hear that he & Josh Brolin are playing twin bank robbing brothers going for “the last score” with policeman Brendan Fraser in hot pursuit… and Glenn Close as their mother… you KNOW I’m in!!! First things first… the movie is far more vulgar than you’re probably picturing. Foul mouthed, violent, just horrible characters with mixed motives all around… and then to top it all off an orangutan shows up for no reason (at Marisa Tomei’s house) and… the whole movie has a LOT of sour moments throughout. That being said, it’s a comedy with some decent performances by MULTIPLE Academy Award winners… Rating – 6/10 – Very few people will like it… even fewer will love it… but it’s not inconceivable December 19 – The Beastmaster (1982) I bought the 4K Vinegar Syndrome of this last year… but I hadn’t seen that version yet… and for those who don’t know, it’s a sword & sandals fantasy movie about a young man (Marc Singer) looking to avenge his village’s decimation by an evil cult leader/wizard (Rip Torn) & he stumbles upon his supernatural abilities to communicate with animals, see through their eyes & join up with some friends along the way (including John Amos & Bond girl Tonya Roberts). Hijinx ensue… and it’s so weird to me that this director basically did all of the Phantasm movies, this, and that’s about it really… oh & Bubba Ho Tep… but for a career of over 40 years that seems light. Is it the greatest movie ever made? Of course not… but as far as sword & sandal movies of the 80’s, it’s definitely in the top tier with the like of Conan the Barbarian or even guilty pleasures like Deathstalker. Rating – 9/10 – I didn’t grow up with it like others on HBO (Hey Beastmaster’s On) but still enjoy it… Happy Holidays everybody!!! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Not exactly a winter wonderland... just kinda cold & all the snow we had a few weeks ago has just kind of returned to the ground from whence it came... but I was able to squeeze in a few movies between things... December 7 – Chain Reaction (1996) A young team of scientists have found the method for infinite energy through hydrogen (go with me on this…) and of course, corporations are the only people that can control it… so they kill everybody & blow up south side Chicago to cover it up… but two scientists got away (Keanu Reeves & Rachel Weisz) so now we have to frame them & wipe them from the Earth. What’s that? They’re the only ones that know how the infinite energy thing works? DAMMIT!!! Okay, bring them in… and the chase ensues. I’d seen this movie a few dozen times in the 90’s & early 00’s and really liked it… kinda goofy action & special effects but you know… Keanu is Keanu & Rachel Weisz is gorgeous… Rating – 8/10 – Definitely have to talk about this one on the podcast someday… December 9 – Blue Thunder (1983) A high-tech helicopter is being tested out by LAPD by their aging star pilot (Roy Scheider) & his upstart go-getter (Daniel Stern?) … and then you throw in a former colleague who’s definitely not a bad guy (Malcolm McDowell) & they stumble upon a plot of corporate greed & deception (gasp!) and hijinx ensues… culminating in a helicopter chase through downtown LA buildings… from the director of War Games & Short Circuit. So… I had never heard of this movie before… nor the series shortly after (that apparently had baby-faced Dana Carvey in the Daniel Stern role?) but the movie had… very 70’s vibes with the way that it was shot & the macho machismo & occasional yoga nudity… but yeah, kind of a fun watch, if not just to see some of the helicopter stunts… which you know will always get a good score from me. Rating – 7/10 – Worth a watch but you’ll know if it’s the genre for you… December 11 – Boggy Creek 2: And the Legend Continues (1983) An MST3K watch… and boy oh boy is this movie a mess… but yeah, from the same director/writer/star as the original Boggy Creek but a decade or so later… he’s the professor going into the woods with three students in the search for Sasquatch… and hijnx ensue. Honestly, if you’re going to watch this movie, just watch the MST3K of it… even with the jokes it gets a little boring at times… Rating – 5/10 – MST3K just makes these kinds of movies better Next week... we've been trying to watch more 2024 movies so that we can accurately judge our Best & Worst of the year... and boy do we have some doozies... until then! Have a great day everybody!!! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Thanksgiving was late this year, but also great! Four day weekend of watching football... and maybe a few movies... November 29 – Poolhall Junkies (2002) This is the timeless tale of a degenerate gambler getting in over his head… but luckily the writer & director is also the star (Mars Callahan) so this normally harrowing tale is really just a venue for displaying little vignettes of hustles, jokes & situations that he can just magically write himself out of. The rest of the cast is stacked with Christopher Walken, Chazz Palminteri, Clint Eastwood’s daughter, Michael Rosenbaum & such… but it’s 2002 as heck & this guys tries to be the next Tarantino… playing pool. Will it work on me? Rating - ???/10 – Everything I Learned from Movies on all the major podcatchers as we’re Walken in a Winter Wonderland all December!!! December 1 – Alien: Romulus (2024) In the not too distant future, due to corporate greed & treachery, a group of young adults find that the only way for them to leave their oppressive status is to hijack a decommissioned spaceship & head to another planet… but they soon find out why the ship was decommissioned… and it’s Xenomorphs. Now, this latest Alien movie is great in that it’s back to the standard horror format as opposed to… whatever the last few Ridley Scott things have been… but pretty simple story, pretty simple plot, fairly predictable, so was it done well? Rating – 9/10 – I really enjoyed it… but hey, I also liked AVP so I’m probably the target demographic December 3 – Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (1983) We rewatched “The Fall Guy” (2024) for an upcoming episode on another podcast… and as you may know, the movie they’re making is called “Metalstorm” in the movie… but it wasn’t until I was doing a little research that apparently that was based on a little known Full Moon production… which is this movie here. Now, obviously it’s really in name only because in the new movie, they’re doing some weird space cowboy loves an alien revolt saga… but in this one, it’s even advertised as “Star Wars Meets Mad Max” where it’s a desert planet, there’s a warlord that gets power from crystals, a vengeful daughter of a slain scientist, and of course… a race of cyclops… and hijinx ensues. We’ll definitely be talking about this on the podcast in 2025… but just to spoil it a bit… Rating – 8/10 – This was my jam… December 5 – Agatha All Along (2024) Yes, we watched all nine episodes of the Disney+ miniseries about a character from WandaVision years ago & her witchy coven spinoff but… look, Kathryn Hahn was the best part of WandaVision & now they’ve added Aubrey Plaza to the mix… and that was before I knew they were going to be an estranged couple in the series (witchy lesbians?) but will Agatha be able to get her powers back and continue on in the MCU Multiverse… or will we have to rely on some younger, more affordable version of her? I think you know that answer… but will Steve like it? Rating – 8/10 – It wasn’t that bad… the witchy stuff was okay… kinda meh for the most part but also fun at times… just drags out a bit for my liking Trying to get a few more 2024 movies in for the Stevie Awards... coming soon!!! Steve |
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
December 2024
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