August Movies - Jesse Stone Edition

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Been a busy few weeks that were a lot of fun with Katie... but not as financially beneficial as we hoped... but at least we're both sick now... anyway, here's what we saw...

August 2 – Jesse Stone: Thin Ice (2009)
 
Okay, so then we started tearing through the Jesse Stone movies… and this is #5 in the series. In this installment, we start with Jesse & his buddy Healy getting shot by an assassin. Healy gets the worst of it (think Suitcase in the last movie… Suitcase is fine now by the way & recovering fine… and Viola Davis is gone… apparently to have a baby?) but now Stone is on a vengeance path… oh and looking for a kidnapped child from six year ago because a letter was sent to the mother? Don’t worry about it… mostly vengeance. William Sadler shows up for the first time as Gino Fish, a mob boss that helps out Jesse from time to time… in a way… but yeah, this one is primarily a vengeance tale… but in a slow way for a 90 minute movie. It’s no Beekeeper.
 
Rating – 7/10 – Not bad… but not particularly memorable either
 
August 5 – Jesse Stone: No Remorse (2010)
 
Well, Chief Stone is suspended now… and dipping DEEP into his alcoholism… so right off the bat I’m judging because he’s not doing anything wise at all… but Healy (he’s fine now BTW) asks him to be a consultant for Boston PD… and he finally gets a cell phone… but he doesn’t use it… and tears his landline out of his home… you know, for plot convenience I assume… and Suitcase is the new chief with only one other officer (50-something year old lady Rose) and there’s a convenience store murder… and they have no idea what to do… and hijinx ensue. Yeah, this one in particular was kind of like “What are we doing here?” Is he a cop? No? Then why is he working two cases… drunk as hell… and nobody else even seems to be trying to do anything…
 
Rating – 6/10 – Come on, Jesse! Get your sh*t together… or just become a gigolo with that golden hog of yours that no lady can resist. Period.
 
August 8 – Jesse Stone: Innocents Lots (2011)
 
Well, Jesse’s forced into involuntary retirement now… but that’s not going to stop him from investigating the death of a teenager girl that he helped out a while back… and after a decade of losing touch, going to school in Boston then getting into prostitution & drugs (whew), now she’s found dead on the side of the road in Paradise… oh & the two cops in paradise now have a new chief, who’s the son-in-law of a town councilman… but has no idea what he’s doing other than writing speeding tickets to create revenue… and hijinx ensue. Yeah, this one just kind of centers on a horrible rehab place in Boston… and nobody caring about anything… except Jesse’s golden hog… and yeah, we see all the people from the previous movies (except Viola Davis)… and most of these movies just kinda end… like I assume the books do… but you’re left kinda going… “Wow… that was boring, not much happened AND I feel like nothing was learned. Cool.”
 
Rating – 5/10 – Really starting to lose steam…
 
August 10 – Jesse Stone: Benefit of a Doubt (2012)
 
Okay, this one starts off with the new chief & a deputy EXPLODING, so at least something happens (must’ve got notes from the last one). Without a police chief, they invite Jesse back… but the other cops have quit because of the last guy… so now it’s really just him trying to solve the murder… but it looks like the old chief might’ve been corrupt (GASP!). BUT Jesse says a cop deserves the “benefit of a doubt” (roll credits) and we get visits with all the old stars because… you know… gotta get ‘em in there… and since it’s not really 90 minutes worth of material but you can fill that with drama & “character development” but Saul Rubinek is at least mildly entertaining.
 
Rating – 7/10 – The explosion & Saul Rubinek kinda saves this one…
 
August 13 – Jesse Stone: Lost in Paradise (2015)
 
We made it! The FINAL (or at least latest) Jesse Stone movie… and we bring everybody back… because yes, Jesse’s “beloved” dog passed away to start the movie (great start) but as luck would have it… there’s a recent murder victim with a dog standing over their corpse in the same manner he found the first dog… and there’s a Boston Ripper serial killer (played by Luke Perry) that’s already been caught & confessed to the murders… except one of them… the owner of the dog… so Jesse has to get to the bottom of this. There’s also a teenager (Mackenzie Foy) who has an abusive mother for that subplot… and another young girl who may have been a prostitute & know who killed the unconfirmed serial killer victim (oh because she was also a prostitute to spite her husband or something?) and yeah, hijinx ensue as we got through all the stars of the previous movies (again, except Viola Davis)… and the whole time I kept expecting Jesse to say “I’m getting too old for this sh*t…” but yeah… it’s another Jesse Stone movie.
 
Rating – 7/10 – Meh… it’s a decent send-off I guess but… yeah, you’d kinda hafta watch the other (checks notes) EIGHT!!! EIGHT OF THESE THINGS!!! That’s 12 hours!!! 14 if you include this one!!! Why do I hate myself this way?!?

Have a great day everybody! Stay safe out there!!!

​Steve