December Movies - Week 4

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

...and a Merry Christmas / Hannukah to you all... or however you celebrate! Yes, it's Christmas Eve... and we're celebrating in the best way possible... watching movies between running all over town to get those final gifts & see our loved ones! Here are a few that we've seen...

December 19 – Madame Web (2024)
 
Okay, so we’re trying to catch up on 2024 movies… including some of the bad ones that we’d missed earlier this year now that they’re at least free… and this movie… is easily one of the stupidest f**king movies that I’ve seen in a while… maybe ever! This is part of the Sony Marvel Spiderman Universe that they don’t even know if it’s connected! The Venom movies, Morbius, this & I’m just going to assume Kraven coming this week are at best a throwback to the ridiculous 80’s & 90’s comic book movies that just… are made to hopefully grab a few bucks from kids & the families that have to bring them… except NOBODY asked for this movie… not even the kids… especially not the teenage girls that it’s aimed at as a coming together of girl power against some random dude that nobody has heard of in a story that is so unbelievably cliché & pointless that it’s hard to watch without mocking constantly. Believe me, I went in with the best of intentions for this movie… but it just seems like nobody involved even cared in their performance. Even Adam Scott as Ben Parker (FOR SOME REASON?!?) was palatable at best.
 
Rating – 3/10 – That being said… if you’re a fan of train wrecks, go ahead & watch it!
 
December 20 – In a Violent Nature (2024)
 
Next up was an interesting one… your basically by-the-numbers 80’s slasher flick… but exclusively from the point of view of the slasher. What an interesting concept! Honestly… it was done pretty well too. You hear all the exposition scenes kind of being done in the distance as the slasher slowly creeps up on the house… or lake… or whatever… every cliché is hit… the kills are impressive & creative (the yoga girl in particular) and a great movie for horror fans. That being said… there are long stretches of the movie where it’s just the slasher slowly trotting through the forest (over the course of several days) which are beautifully shot but seem to just be there to get to the 90 minute runtime needed… and frankly, the ending kind of craps the bed… but again, getting it to 80-90 minutes with a simple concept like that can be tough. So would I recommend it?
 
Rating – 8/10 – If you’re a horror fan, absolutely… otherwise, you’re probably going to be checking your watch a few times…
 
December 21 – I Saw the TV Glow (2024)
 
Next up was this one that came highly recommend from a few people who know movies… and it’s about a teenage boy (who I’m pretty sure is supposed to be autistic or at least on the spectrum) and he’s introduced to this 90’s TV show called The Pink Opaque by a teenage girl & it’s her absolute favorite… and they both have interesting family lives… but then things start getting a little strange… and then she disappears after a house fire & presumed dead… but then she comes back… and hijinx ensue… especially when she says that she’s been IN THE SHOW for the last decade. Okay, I get… that this movie is a metaphor… about youth, aging, time passing differently, trauma & the inability to process it, all kinds of stuff like that… so it’s a drama that’s beautifully shot & has some minor innovations. However, by the end of the movie, I was certain of two things… I’m not sure that Justice Smith can act… and this movie just did not get me like it did so many others (90+% on RT) and when the credits start to roll… I felt like they just forgot to do the last 10-15 minutes of the movie.
 
Rating – 5/10 – Not going to be high on my 2024 awards… but not a bad watch
 
December 22 – Subservience (2024)
 
Megan Fox is a robomaid who falls for the husband of the house… and hijinx ensue. That’s the movie. Sure, there is some heavy handed plot ideas about AI & automatization of not just labor tasks like construction… but also rearing children and stuff like that… but let’s be real… it’s about a robomaid… the husband gets drunk one night & gets coaxed into banging it while his wife is in the hospital for a heart ailment… she goes SWF & learns how to override her controls… and by the end of the movie… well, there probably won’t be a sequel… but there could be. It’s exactly what you think it’s going to be. That being said… not too bad… just a dumb cyber thriller with ridiculous moments.
 
Rating – 7/10 – I almost feel like I didn’t even have to watch the full movie to know beat for beat what was going to happen, but sometimes that’s what you want
 
December 23 – Strange Darling (2024)
 
A guy & a girl meet up… and discuss the rules for their “engagement” at a local motel… and hijinx ensue. That’s about all I’m going to say… other than the story is told in six chapters… but obviously not in order, in order to confuse the watcher (but didn’t really work for at least one viewer). The central character does a great job of playing a serial killer… and the side characters are very good at being one-dimensional… but just be warned, this is a bloody horror movie… and I liked it… but I can also see why some people are meh on it…
 
Rating – 8/10 – An interesting character study more than anything… but also intense at times
 
December 24 – Heretic (2024)
 
Two Mormon missionary ladies go to a man’s house (Hugh Grant) and hijinx ensue when they realize that they’ve been locked into his iron maze of creepy theological discussion & terror. Simple premise, just a handful of actors (including a day of work from Topher Grace), genuinely creepy moments, and interesting ideas on the same level as a YouTube one-sided discussions (yes, we know that all religions are BS… or are they? They are) but if you’re into horror flicks, I’d recommend it. Not great but pretty good… and the performances are decent.
 
Rating – 8/10 – Hugh Grant is going down the creepy road & I’m here for it
 
December 25 – Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
 
The 2nd in the Resident Evil movie series from director/writer Paul WS Anderson & star Milla Jovovich… and after the events of the first movie, Raccoon City has been overrun with a virus turning people into bloodthirsty zombies… and a motely crew of professional killers (cops, soldiers, gangsters, second coming, etc.) join up to find a way out… but you know, the corporation responsible is trying to wipe away any evidence of their involvement… and hijinx ensue. Now… rewatching these movies after… you know, COVID & seeing the corporate run dystopia that my life has become has a slightly redder hue (not exactly rose colored) but… was it an enjoyable watch?
 
Rating – ???/10 – FIND OUT AS WE GO THROUGH THE SEQUELS ON EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES!!!

I'll see you guys on New Year's Eve (maybe) but if I don't... happy holidays & a happy new year of 2025!!!

​Steve