November Movies - Week 2

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Day by day we keep soldiering on... and watching movies... that's all I got this week...

November 7 – A Sound of Thunder (2005)
 
Based on a Ray Bradbury short story about the not too distant future where a corporation uses time travel to go back on a safari so that rich douches can kill an allosaurus… a few minutes before he would be roasted by a volcano so as not to destroy the delicate balance of time… but of course, hijinx ensue when the crush a butterfly 65 million years ago & time waves change everything instantly (though they somehow remember) and they have to travel back to change it… but they don’t know what happened to take it from a short story to a 95 minute movie. This movie is… not good… like on any level. Sure, Academy Award winner Ben Kingsley gives a few speeches & Ed Burns and a few others are passable but… the special effects are laughably bad even by 90’s standards (and this was mid 2000’s), the plot doesn’t make a whole lot of sense… but you know what?
 
Rating - ???/10 – You can hear ALL about it on Everything I Learned from Movies with our good friends Diana & Ryan from Happily Ever Aftermath!!!
 
November 9 – Metamorphosis (1990)
 
I was searching for dinosaur movies… because I’m afraid that I miss a few… and this came up… and I had NEVER heard of it. So I read the quick synopsis about a young geneticist who turns himself into a T-Rex… okay, I’m SOLD! Let’s see who’s in this thing… okay, no real big names… ooooh but a lot of Italian ones and… wait… WHAT’S THIS?!? Directed by George Eastman?!? Surely that can’t be the same… oh… why yes it is?!? Okay… so there’s an Italian production about a scientist turning himself into a dinosaur… directed by BIG APE FROM 2019: AFTER THE FALL OF NEW YORK!?!?!?!
 
Rating - ???/10 – EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES ON ALL THE MAJOR PODCATCHERS!!!
 
November 11 – The Substance (2024)
 
People had been raving about this movie as the best horror movie of the year… and reading the premise, I saw it as a mix of “The Stuff” & “Catwoman” but I thought that even though it was described to me as a Cronenberg-esque body horror with a message (because Cronenberg usually doesn’t other than “isn’t this gross AND sexy? Your new kink?”) but… okay Demi Moore is (playing) a faded fitness star from the 80’s (who can still f**king get it) but she’s aging out… and producer/manager Dennis Quaid is skeezy as hell… so then she gets a mysterious package for The Substance to help her regain her youth… by basically making a body double (Margaret Qualley) and hijinx ensue when rules aren’t followed. Guys… this movie is not for everybody… but you should watch it as long as you can stomach it. The performances are amazing. There’s plenty of gratuitous nudity… but also body horror… and yeah, you’ll feel things.
 
Rating – 10+/10 – It’s been a long time since I’d give any kind of horror movie a 10+ but… there you have it…
 
November 13 – Trap (2024)
 
You’ve seen the trailer… a man takes his teenage daughter to a pop star’s concert (played by M Night’s daughter) but soon realizes through an employee BEGGING to be fired that… the whole concert is a trap for a serial killer (okay, many questions just off that premise that… really won’t be answered in the movie). Oh, did I mention that man IS the serial killer? Oh okay, cool… let’s go fake concert entrapment! But wait… what if I told you… the concert was only the first half of the movie… and it gets even MORE ridiculous?!? OF COURSE!!! IT’S AN M NIGHT MOVIE!!! That being said… I had a lot of dumb fun watching it. Josh Hartnett is great as a crazy dad serial killer… really all the performances are good… even the weird Uncle of the pop star that shows up for plot reasons (yes, it’s M Night) but yeah… it’s dumb.
 
Rating – 8/10 – So many plot holes but at least more entertaining than I expected

Next week you get to find out the movie that I was watching on Election Night... it's a goodie

​Steve