Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
It's been a busy week, so here we go...
Jan 14 – Peppermint (2018)
Yes, more female assassins movies! This one is a little grittier than most as we have Jennifer Garner as a woman whose husband & daughter are murdered by a drug cartel (because her husband is a f**king idiot to start, then b**ched out) and of course the entire justice system is corrupt (valid) and so the murderers get away scott free… cut to 5 years later & she’s turned herself into a f**king elite assassin with a “Death Wish” vendetta. Is the movie great? Absolutely not… there are a LOT of whole and that Eli Roth version of “Death Wish” is eerily similar. However, this movie is better than you think if that’s the kind of movie that you’re looking for… and I don’t understand why it was constantly berated as being racist when it came out a few years ago… but I assume that’s just a sign of the times. If you’re looking for something in the vein of “Death Sentence” then I recommend it.
Rating – 9/10 – She does cry a lot & do some stupid sh*t that isn’t consistent but… yeah, movies.
Jan 15 – Proud Mary (2018)
Another 2018 female assassin movie? Hold on… there’s more. This one though is a throwback to the 70’s Blaxploitation genre which I love… and has Taraji P. Henson as Mary, who takes on a young boy whose father she killed & tries to protect him from the seedy underbelly of Boston… and hijinx ensue. This movie is a tight 75 minutes or something without credits which is GREAT for the genre. There are moments where I’m not sure the tone & focus of the movie is realized entirely… but I enjoyed it… and we talked about it with Brent of the Home Video Hustle Podcast.
Rating – 8/10 – Check out the episode & it may convince you whether you want to watch it or not.
Jan 16 – Red Sparrow (2018)
That’s right, a THIRD 2018 female assassin movie… and this one totally isn’t like a Black Widow movie, it’s based on a book based on real lives… but it’s Jennifer Lawrence as the ultimate Russian ballerina honeypot so… you know I’m in. That being said… it’s also 2:20 long which… seems excessive.
Rating - ???/10 – Check out our Patreon Exclusive episode for as little as $2 a month at patreon.com/eilfmovies
Jan 17 – Ava (2020)
You may have noticed a pattern this week… this one is Jessica Chastain as an assassin who goes back to Boston to see her family (including Geena Davis as her mom, so my head canon is that this is a “Long Kiss Goodnight” sequel) and you’ve got Common, John Malkovich, Colin Farrell… and even friend of the podcast Amy Johnston as Jessica’s stunt double… and put to good use in this movie!
Rating – 9/10 – Some of the family was really hitting with Izzy’s family as reference… but yeah, check it out.
Jan 18 – Shadow in the Cloud (2020)
Okay, now we’re changing from a female assassin movie to… okay, Chloe Grace Moretz as a WWII soldier who boards a plane with a mysterious priority package… and hijinx ensue when GREMLINS start taking the ship apart. This movie was… pretty remarkable. Half of the movie is just Chloe locked in a room, the other half is bonkers, and with a few tweaks this movie could’ve been LEGENDARY!!! It definitely seems like a movie that was inhibited by the pandemic with production, etc. but it’s definitely worth a watch on Hulu… and again, like 75 minutes long.
Rating – 9/10 – I’ll say it! I really liked this movie even though it needed some minor changes to enhance it…
Jan 19 – Corvette Summer (1978)
Mark Hamill starred in Star Wars… and then followed up with this movie where he’s a teenager whose Corvette Stingray is stolen, so he goes to Vegas, meets a hooker (Annie Potts) who likes him for some reason, and tries to hunt it down. Hilarity ensues. Annie Potts is definitely the best part of this movie, even in her DEBUT!!! We joined the Gran Touring Motorsports BREAK/FIX Podcast to talk about this so… I’d recommend checking it out! The episode, not necessarily the movie.
Rating – 7/10 – It was okay but… yeah, not necessary. Just had LOTS Of fun talking about it with car nuts!
Got a little road trip coming up next week so may not be able to get the full seven movies... but also may have some fun stories to tell!
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Here's the next week of movies... and they're some good ones...
Jan 7 – Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)
We had watched the first two Die Hard movies for Christmas… so while Izzy’s mom was still visiting, we decided to go with the last good one (though apparently it’s ranked #4 on RT? FOH!!! It’s #2 to me…) but this one… is in NYC in the summer… and still occasionally a Christmas movie somehow! Okay, this one just has a few throwaway lines about Santa and stuff… but it’s John McLaine again… bomber telling riddles & wants John involved… but why? Don’t let his oddly English-German accent give it away immediately… but Jeremy Irons, Sam Jackson, Graham Green, Colleen Camp & more pop in for fun & hijinx ensue…
Rating – 10/10 – Not quite a 10+ but I love this movie
Jan 8 – Hobbs & Shaw (2019)
Izzy’s mom hadn’t seen the greatest movie of 2019 (or possibly ever) in this 9th installment of the Fast & Furious franchise… though completely held by the charisma of The Rock, Jason Statham, Idris Elba & a cast of other characters… taking everything good about F&F and bromance and turning it up to 11… sprinkle in some Ryan Reynolds… and poof, cinematic masterpiece! Oh… the plot is basically the same as No Time to Die by the way… designer virus getting into the wrong hands… only two men can stop them… time doesn’t exist… enjoy!
Rating – 10+/10 – You’ll never convince me otherwise… this movie is basically perfect
Jan 9 – Schlock (1973)
We were watching “The Movies That Made Us” and they were talking about “Coming to America” and director John Landis (still alive despite what I told his neighbor Dana Gould… long story) and they mentioned that his first movie when he was 20 years old was called “Schlock” and was a killer ape movie with Rick Baker as the makeup guy… so obviously I was in! It’s streaming on Tubi… and it’s a parody of 50’s monster movies but… Jesus, it’s impressive for a 20-year-old in the early 70’s with a budget of $60,000. There are definitely some jokes where I’m like “Guess I had to be there?” but I highly recommend checking it out… and then remember that John Landis is also the STAR!!! He’s Schlock, the guy in the monkey getup! Kudos!!!
Rating – 8/10 – Definitely worth a watch… but like, one watch maybe
Jan 10 – The Camp on Blood Island (1958)
We’re close to finishing out the 20-movie Hammer Collection… and the latest is this WWII POW camp movie where a group of POWs plots to escape a Japanese camp in Malaya… except there’s one twist… they have to keep the radio contact down at the camp. Why? The war is over! However they cannot let the Japanese know because they plan to execute everyone as soon as the war is over… so yeah, hijinx ensue. It’s a decent war movie… there’s some great turns and plot points that pop up… I’d say 3-4 for every “what the hell?” moment that also creep in.
Rating – 8/10 – If you like war movies, definitely worth a watch!
Jan 11 – Yesterday’s Enemy (1959)
Getting VERY close now with the Hammer pack & this one is set during WWII (huh, familiar) in Burma where a British brigade has taken over a Japanese-controlled village on their way to try to escape to British battle lines & safety… but they realize there was a Japanese colonel among the dead… and reinforcements are on their way. Then it becomes a pretty intriguing test of willpower under pressure as the British captain orders a few people to be executed in order to get information, and his brigade isn’t too fond of it, and then when the Japanese invade, their general has his own unique way of persuading people. All in all, it’s a fantastic movie that seems like it could easily be a play (if it wasn’t to begin with) but a character study over the course of a few days.
Rating – 8/10 – There’s definitely a lot of talking at some spots… and some of the battle scenes are confusing at best, but I’d recommend it.
Jan 12 – Joy Ride (2021)
Two of our favorite comedians Dana Gould (who we’ve interviewed three times) and Bob Goldthwait (coming soon?) made a documentary about their incredible stand-up careers and how they’ve managed to survive a few harrowing things… and daily craziness. It’s the two of them on the road with a GoPro & footage from their pasts… but by God this is an incredible & funny flick! Check it out NOW!!!
Rating – 10/10 – Two of my favorites made a movie about their weird & wonderfully funny lives
Jan 13 – Elektra (2005)
It’s great that Marvel started doing female-led superhero movies in 2019… such a progressive time… oh wait, they already did one in 2005 & she was a strong enough woman to come back from the dead… somehow. Is it a sequel to Daredevil (the Ben Affleck one that the character starred in)? Is it better than you remember? Especially since you remember absolutely nothing about it? Was Shang Tsung in this movie? Find out on a upcoming episode of Everything I Learned From Movies…
Rating - ???/10 – Available in early February on all major podcatchers during Feb Fatale!!!
On that note, I'll see you over on the podcast where I can drop this knowledge directly into your earholes... or at make you laugh a bit. Have a great day everybody!!!
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing