Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
A 5th Week of November?!? Yup... and we watched some movies... November 26 – Congo (1995) A telecommunications company looking for diamonds in the Congo loses contact with their expedition team, so they send in their VP of communications / former CIA lady doctor in with secretly with another expedition led by Romanian Tim Curry to help a pair of Berkeley scientist partners reintroduce their gorilla that speak with sign language back into the Virunga jungles because… they don’t want jobs or something. Throw in a battle for power of the region, a lost city of Solomon’s diamond mines, some killer gorillas, cameos from half of Hollywood and you have THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE!!! Rating – 10+/10 – I had to share this with Katie… she loved it… OBVIOUSLY!!! November 27 – The Last Unicorn (1982) This is one of Izzy’s favorite movies as a kid when she had the VHS… and I had a babysitter that for some reason we always watched the last ten minutes on a tape before starting to watch “The Karate Kid” but… it’s based on the beautifully illustrated book by Peter S. Beagle (whom Izzy has met) and has the voice talents of Christopher Lee, Jeff Bridges, Mia Farrow, Angela Lansbury & AMERICA!!! Basically it’s about a unicorn who’s told that she’s probably the last of her kind by a passing hunter… and then confirmed by a butterfly… and so she starts on a quest to find others… and there’s a Red Bull (that apparently does NOT give you wings) and hijinx ensue. Now… kids shows in the 80s apparently really got into existential crises & dark depressing stuff much more than they seem to nowadays… but this movie is beautiful (from Rankin-Bass who brought the 70’s Lord of the Rings shows and 80’s cartoons like ThunderCats) and you should probably check it out! Rating – 9/10 – I will warn you though… Mia Farrow & Jeff Bridges are not singers by trade… the songs start great and get progressively worse November 28 – Action USA (1989) This movie was brought to me by the Grindbin Podcast (it’s on Tubi, you’re welcome) and it’s about a woman who’s boyfriend is murdered (after being beaten, dropped out of a helicopter, an incredible car chase ending in jumping a bus and/or going through an exploding trailer & then blasted) in front of her… and then she finds herself deep into her boyfriend’s illicit side without knowing anything about it… and the only people that can save her are two FBI guys (one if which is Mac’s Dad from Sunny in Philadelphia) and over the top hijinx ensue! The bad guys… are incredibly ridiculous. The good guys… are incredibly ridiculous. The plot… is incredibly ridiculous. Rating – 10/10 – I loved every single second of this crazy movie! November 29 – The Last Witch Hunter (2015) We’re celebrating the “Last” Month on the podcast… so we went with Vin Diesel’s D&D character passion project that bombed… but he still insists there’s a sequel coming. Kaulder (Diesel) is an 800 year old soldier who killed the Queen Witch centuries ago… but he’s still alive slaying witches because of it. Michael Caine is the 35th handler of his affairs… and he’s being replaced by Elijah Wood… and then hijinx ensue & the Queen Witch may be coming back. This movie reminded me a lot like Bloodshot from a few years ago. It’s not… horrible. Just kinda dull & predictable dumb fun. We had seen this a year or so ago & I remembered very little other than the obvious stuff that you probably already know with regards to the cast. It’s a’ight… Rating – 8/10 – Could be worse… could be better… ends with a horrible take of “Paint It Black” by Ciara November 30 – Space Mutiny (1988) Yes, we watched the Rifftrax version of this Star Wars ripoff starring Reb Brown & Cameron Mitchell… but it’s about a pilot saving a spaceship from an internal coup d’etat by the security crew and the golf cart chase scenes are pretty ridiculous. It’s not great… but I’d recommend seeing it with friends. It’s weird that the romantic leads appear to be in their early 40’s but they dress like they’re 16 & 22. Anyway, Rifftrax helps… Rating – 7/10 – The movie’s a little rough… but laughably rough December starts in a few hours & I plan to mark off the other 93% of my checklist for 2022 before the end of the month... Pray for Mojo! Steve
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Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
And Happy Turkey Day tomorrow... here are some movies that we've seen this past week: November 19 – King Kong (1976) I hadn’t seen this movie since “Survey of Cinema” class in high school in 1998… but you all know the story, petroleum company thinks they’ve found an island loaded with oil… stowaway paleontologist Jeff Bridges wants to take pictures of monkeys & birds… they stumble upon a shipwrecked wanna-be Hollywood starlet Jessica Lange… she’s offered by the islanders to their 50-foot tall ape that they worship as a God… hijinx ensue. Yeah, the story’s a little out there… but it’s the remake of a classic that has since been remade a bunch… and this version actually isn’t that bad. There are some parts that are a little bit of a stretch… but the practical effects were so good they brought the whole team back ten years later to do “King Kong Lives” and… apparently it’s 0% on Rotten Tomatoes but I love that movie! Rating – 8/10 – Not the best version of the classic story… but worth a watch if you haven’t seen it. November 20 – Psycho Goreman (2020) We finally watched this horror-comedy released during the pandemic about a little girl Mimi & her brother Luke who stumble upon this stone that controls the most dangerous alien force in the universe that was buried on Earth years ago… and so they name him Psycho Goreman… and the girl’s a psychopath… and hijinx ensue. This movie is hilarious throughout… especially if you’re familiar with the tropes of these kinds of horror flicks involving kids. The movie is super gory, super profane, and just crazy from start to finish. I highly recommend. Rating – 10/10 – They all learn something important by the end of the movie… but nobody has any idea what it is. November 21 – Operation Kid Brother (or Double 007) (1967) Apparently this movie was made with Sean Connery’s brother Neil as a twin brother of a British spy… who’s also a doctor / hypnotist… and stars Bernard Lee & Lori Maxwell and a bunch of other Bond movie actors… and there’s a lot of plastic surgery involved but he’s the only hope save the world… and yeah, this is absolutely an Italian production made right before they brought George Lazenby in to be the new Bond because… well, this was a little rough. The plot is ludicrous, even by Bond standards… that being said though, it’s kind of fun to see how the rest of the world sees Bond movies and their interpretation of them… and how accurate & apt in pointing out the ridiculousness they can be. Oh… and of course we watched the MST3K version, now streaming on Tubi. Rating – 8/10 – It was funner than most as far as the movie goes… but yeah, definitely a drunk watch with friends. November 22 – Carnosaur 2 (1995) Yes, the thrilling sequel to a movie I rated 10 a few weeks ago… and in this one, we pickup up… some time later… at a secret government facility surrounded by desert that has NOTHING to do with the first movie… and they’ve lost contact & nobody knows why… so they send in a bunch of glorified mercenaries or something to reestablish contact… spoilers… it’s dinosaurs (in case you didn’t know the title of the movie you were watching). Hear all about it on our podcast but… you may be surprised with our score! Rating - ???/10 – It’s a movie about killer dinosaurs… that’s the hint you’re going to get. November 23 – Attack of the Super Monsters (1982) Speaking of killer dinosaurs, we were pleased to find a Rifftrax movie recommended to us… set in the year 2000 (from 1982 Japan) where TALKING giant kaiju dinosaurs led by Tyrannus have rose from the depths of Earth to take over Japan.. and the only thing that can stop them is… an animated team of some of the most questionable fighting force you’ve ever seen… basically Voltron. Okay, so this movie is a great weird mix of animation, guys in dinosaurs suits (think Power Rangers), exploding models, and nonsensical storytelling like only Japanese kaiju movies can do. Would I recommend it? Rating – 9/10 – Absolutely! Yes, how they beat the dinosaurs is painfully repetitive but holy crap it’s exactly what I wanted at the time. November 24 – Nope (2022) We finally watched the latest flick from writer/director Jordan Peele (“Get Out” & “Us”) and as you can tell from the previews (yes, even the first ones) it’s about aliens… and a Hollywood ranch in California… and an Old West Amusement Park that neighbors them… and hijinx ensue. That’s really about all I can tell you but… I LOVED this movie. Truth be told, it does start with an ape killing a bunch of people so I’m in from the start… but then you get great performances from everybody (including the return of Michael Wincott), great realistic dialogue as Jordan Peele does so well, a few random weird things thrown in to keep you guessing, but yeah I really enjoyed this movie. Rating – 10/10 – Check it out! It’s kind of what “Signs” should be. M Night doesn’t know how people talk… or he just doesn’t care. November 25 – Last Man Standing (1996) I had to show Izzy a classic from my teenage years that I had seen dozens of times with friends & family… and basically a remake of Kirosawa’s “Yojimbo” and “A Fistful of Dollars” where a gun-for-hire (Bruce Willis) rolls into an old west ghost town during Prohibition Era and gets involved between two warring clans… sorry, I mean the Irish & Italian mobs… but it’s directed by badass Walter Hill and the big baddie is played by Christopher Walken and… yeah, guys… this is a guy movie through & through. The three women you’ll see in this movie are hot and… that’s about it. They’re basically property that Bruce Willis tries to save… everybody else is trying to be an alpha male & only a few can pull it off… and there are LOTS of gun deaths… great flick. Rating – 10/10 – The story is simple, occasionally stupid, but damn if it’s not entertaining to see Walken play crazy gunman. Okay, that'll do for this holiday... see you at the next one with a stuffing hangover... Steve Good Morning,
We've got a wonderful week of our friend Katie coming to visit so some great movies on the way... in the meantime, here's the stuff we watch for fun!!! November 12 – No Escape (1994) I remember watching this movie back when it came out… and absolutely loving it. Then it just… kinda slipped away from various formats. The Ray Liotta action vehicle where he’s a soldier sentenced to life on an inescapable prison island where there’s basically the crazy horde (led by Stuart Wilson) and the peaceful livers (led by Lance Henriksen & Ernie Hudson) and hijinx ensue. Well, Unearthed Films has just released DVD & Blu Ray versions of this movie with interviews from the cast & crew, making of specials, etc. and it’s absolutely a great rendering of this movie. So does the film hold up? Absolutely! Director Martin Campbell (next up was “Goldeneye” & “Casino Royale” among others) does a great job of world building the distant future 2022 (yeah, that’s pretty sweet) in a Blade Runner esque dystopia if only for a few moments before basically being in the jungle the rest of the movie… but yeah, everybody does this movie justice. Rating – 10+/10 – I can’t wait to talk about this on the podcast but it’s just a good fun action flick! November 13 – Krull (1983) There were three things that I knew about this movie going in. 1) It’s a Star Wars ripoff; 2) Liam Neeson as in it and 3) The Glave! Everybody knows about the 5-clawed boomerang thing known as The Glave! This was definitely one of those sword, sandal & sorcery movies… meeting with a little intergalactic flare (the bad guys were technically alien invaders, but they could have just been ogres with a magical teleporting castle stronghold) and basically… I didn’t hate it. Yes, it was really cheesy and had some dry British wit in it… but it was very similar to Excalibur as far as just kind of an odd, ethereal feel to the entire movie & there are definitely things in this movie that were both ripped off from other movies & then in turn ripped off in other movies of the 80s… but yeah, I kinda liked it. Rating – 8/10 – Not my favorite movie of the ilk but… I wouldn’t mind watching it again. November 14 – The Punisher (1989) Yes, the Dolph Lundgren version of the Marvel antihero… Batman with a gun… Gatman. I purchased the Umbrella Entertainment version with the original cut & director’s cut and a few great interviews… but we’re here to talk about the movie with Dolph as The Punisher & Lou Gossett as his police chief buddy, teaming up with local druglord Jeroen Krabbe… to go against the Yakuza when they start stealing mob bosses’ children! Yeah! That’s the premise! Honestly… I love the movie. Dolph plays a decent broken man who doubles as a behemoth, the violence is a little over the top but it’s a dark comic. I still like War Zone a little better but… this is one of those early comic book movies that deserves a rewatch. Rating – 9/10 – This may move up to a 10 after seeing some of the other versions on this DVD but… pretty dang good already. November 15 – Jeepers Creepers (2001) I had never seen this movie… but I knew a few things. It was a hit with a bunch of sequels… and the writer/director is a pedophile POS and has been for a long time. Basically it’s one of those road trip horrors… brother & sister on the way to a family reunion or something… and they see something they shouldn’t have… and then do a BUNCH of the stupidest things you’d ever imagine to stay there… and hijinx ensue. I wanted everybody in this movie to die quickly, especially the main characters. They’re f**king annoying & frankly deserve it. The story is ridiculously stupid… especially when they start bringing in the annoying psychic or whatever. The creature design is pretty cool. I’ll give it that. I honestly have no idea why this took off & other 2000’s horror trash didn’t… Rating – 4/10 – I really didn’t like it… November 16 – Trucks (1997) Reading the description, this is basically “Maximum Overdrive” without the copious amounts of cocaine from director Stephen King. It’s based on his story, same basic story, same locations, aliens control trucks or something and hijinx ensue around a gas station/diner. This version stars Timothy Busfield (Poindexter from “Revenge of the Nerds”) and Brenda Bakke (“Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight”) and I noticed about three minutes in that… Izzy & I had already seen this before, about a decade ago when we were looking at Netflix in the Presidio or something. Obviously it’s super-memorable. J That being said, it’s not that bad… basically just a TV movie version of “Maximum Overdrive” without the WAY over the top stuff… and young Uwe Boll favorite Brendan Fletcher is a child actor in this one. Rating – 6/10 – Maybe only watch if you really like “Maximum Overdrive”? November 17 – Trapped in Paradise (1994) We’re guesting on an episode of What Were They Thinking? Podcast for this one… and I hadn’t seen this movie in probably 25 years or so… and the TV edit… but I remembered liking it. Nicolas Cage is a reformed criminal… and this brothers Jon Lovitz & Dana Carvey (playing Mickey Rourke with downs syndrome) are fresh out of jail… and basically trick him into going to this small town to rob the bank there. Hijinx ensue. Now, I’ll say this… watching it as an adult… I didn’t think it was possible but… I think the TV version is a LOT better. The original version is 110 minutes… but when they cut it down to 80-85 minutes for the TV edit, that apparently cuts out a LOT of the parts that just f**king drag… and really aren’t funny, just infuriating with bad family dynamics. Rating – 7/10 – It wasn’t horrible… but it wasn’t great either. Moments of crazy Cage before it was a big thing. November 18 – The Hellcats (1968) Yup, another MST3K movie… but this one was about an undercover cop infiltrating a biker gang (think “Stone” or “Stone Cold”) and hijinx ensue… but it’s starring Ross Hagen & people who probably shouldn’t be in front of a camera portraying bikers unless they want their asses kicked. As usual, the MST3K episode was great… the movie itself wasn’t great at all… but that’s the jist of the show. Rating – 6/10 – Definitely watch the MST3K episode on Tubi… that’s a 9. So yeah, that'll do it... please have a great Thanksgiving in the meantime!!! Steve Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,
We're doing fine... only a little cough left & we'll never trust being around family and friends again... until next time... but plenty of time to watch movies. November 5 – J.D.’s Revenge (1976) I had heard of this movie on some list back in the day as one of the worst movies ever made. That is absolutely preposterous! Okay, the premise is that a New Orleans gangster is murdered in the 40’s and takes over the body of a 70’s medical student (played by Glynn Turman) to exact revenge on the man who killed him (Lou Gossett jr). The idea is a little preposterous… but the incredible acting by Glynn Turman as two completely different characters and the struggles in between… and Lou Gossett and just about everybody involved in this movie… I don’t get the hate! I thoroughly enjoyed this movie! The only parts I didn’t particularly care for was the fact that the dead gangster is an absolutely a-hole who doesn’t deserve revenge… but the way the story turns out is pretty top-notch! Rating – 9/10 – Check it out if this sounds like it interests you at all! November 6 – Tammy & the T-Rex (1995) Yes, I have the Vinegar Syndrome release / Gory R-rated cut of “TANNY and the T-Rex” according to the opening titles… about a cheerleader (Denise Richards) whose jealous ex-boyfriend kills her new boyfriend (Paul Walker) but then his brain is put into a robot dinosaur to be used as the computer by a mad scientist (Terry Kizer) and hilarious hijinx ensue. This movie is… baffling. It’s nuts. However, the performances are pretty great from a lot of first-time actors & seasoned vets alike… and though some of the humor doesn’t stand the test of time, I thoroughly enjoy it. Rating – 10/10 – So glad I stumbled upon this… and hear all about it this DINOvember on Everything I Learned From Movies November 7 – Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities (2022) We watched this new eight-episode anthology series on Netflix that was dropped this past week… and it only took us like two nights to watch it all. A majority of the stories seem to be HP Lovecraft stories turned into 40-60 minute episodes and each one done by a different director like Panos Cosmatos (“Mandy”), Jennifer Kent (“The Babadook”) and so on. Now… the atmosphere made by the episodes was all really good… but some of the stories were REALLLLLLY stretched out… and kind of weak to begin with. That being said, I’d say check it out. Rating – 8/10 – Some were just boring and didn’t really pay off, but that’s like… two of the eight. November 8 – Prince of Space (1959) Yes, we watched the MST3K version of this Japanese movie about an alien force that invade Earth and tries to steal a secret rocket fuel… but then a mysterious hero steps in to save the day! He couldn’t possibly be the local shoeshine who disappears whenever something happens, could he? Look… the movie isn’t the greatest… but it also isn’t the worse… and this was honestly one of my favorite MST3K episodes that I’ve ever seen! Highly recommend on Tubi! Rating – 8/10 – Definitely do the MST3K version though… you won’t miss anything laughing. November 9 – Invasion of the Neptune Men (1961) When the last one finished, it automatically started this movie… and I think these were consecutive episodes of MST3K because they made several references to the bad guy from “Prince of Space”… but yeah, this ones about invaders from Neptune… being thwarted by the mysterious hero Space Chief… and hijinx ensue. Again, the movie isn’t that great… but the MST3K episode is great. Rating – 8/10 – Again, definitely do the MST3K episode on Tubi November 10 – Bullet Train (2022) We finally watched the David Leitch directed action behemoth about a bunch of assassins on a Japanese bullet train… and hijinx ensue! Brad Pitt, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Bad Bunny, Zazie Beets, Michael Shannon, Sandra Bullock, a whole bunch of cameos… I really enjoyed this movie. The fighting scenes were good… the action was… a little ridiculous & nonsensical on many fronts… but it kind of comes together towards the end… though not really… overall, just a dumb fun action flick that I enjoyed. Do I put it on the level of his other work like “John Wick”, “Deadpool 2” or “Hobbs & Shaw”? Absolutely not… but still better than most out there. Rating – 9/10 – Dumb dumb fun! Check it out! November 11 – Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022) Now playing on the Roku Channel, comes Daniel Radcliffe in the role of a lifetime… as the cultural icon & sexy symbol of multiple generations, Weird Al Yankovic!!! Well, okay… it’s a parody of biopics really… but it’s absolutely hilarious, especially if you’ve seen most of these musical biopics like I have. They really make it completely obvious throughout that it’s not what really happened (because that story is basically he liked making funny songs, got famous, has lived a great life since then, so boring story) but the way that they blow it over the top is just incredible. There’s are lots of hilarious cameos, plot twists, homages to other movies, plus it’s streaming free on Roku so just check it out! Rating – 10/10 – It does seem a little long at some parts… but luckily it’s pretty good at keeping you laughing throughout. The Holidays are just around the corner, we have visitors coming starting next week, I'm excited! Have a great weekend everybody! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Well... it took THREE Halloweens... but we finally got COVID. Worst part is... we're not sure whether we got it from me going to have dinner with my mom next door, or Izzy hanging with her friends at the Local Artisan Collective as these things happened the same night and BOTH parties went down entirely and tested positive... so it doesn't really matter. Anyway, so we spent Halloween at home watching movies & coughing... October 29 – Beast (2022) Idris Elba versus a Killer Lion… seriously… what more do you need in a film? However, for those of you that are hesitant to the premise, he’s a single dad with two teenage daughters on safari… and hijinx ensue. Four key things about this movie: 1) There are a lot of long-take shots… but they’re actually done surprisingly well; 2) Yes, the movie becomes a little predictable with all of the things mentioned in the 1st act that you know are coming back in the 3rd act; 3) The CGI Lion is probably the weakest thing about the film… but it’s still not that bad; 4) I don’t know… I really enjoyed this movie. Rating – 9/10 – I was expecting a particular building to be filled with lions like “ROAR” towards the end but… yeah, a fun dumb horror movie October 30 – Barbarian (2022) This is the new tale of a girl who goes to an AirBNB & it’s double-booked with Bill Skaarsgard… and hijinx ensue. Now, I don’t want to spoil anything… but this movie was great at building tension… and has things happen that make you question decision-making to a high degree… but it was a lot of fun to watch. I’d recommend it if you are into the horror genre & the less you know going in the better. Rating – 9/10 – The ending was a little rough but… endings are hard, especially for horror. October 31 – Halloween Ends (2022) I believe that one of the first posts on this site was for the “Halloween Kills” last year and how dumb of a movie it was in almost every way… so I went into this one with zero expectations other than that the movies will end. How do I feel about the franchise as a whole? Halloween 3 is my favorite & I didn’t mind the Rob Zombie ones at all. For this one, it starts off strong with something different to the series… and then picks up four years after the events of H. Kills, and there’s a young man who slowly loses his mind… and he’s banging Laurie’s granddaughter (by the way, the whole movie takes place over the course of like 3-4 days?) and there are some interesting turns that were great… but also some truly baffling dumb stuff too… but whatever, it’s over now, right? Rating – 8/10 – Better than I thought but… yeah… don’t want to give spoilers away. Check it out on Peacock. November 1 – Theodore Rex (1995) Regarded as one of the worst movies ever made, the Whoopi-dinosaur buddy cop movie that was like a weird hybrid of Super Mario Bros & a horrible SNL sketch… but it has dinosaurs involved. Sure, they’re talking dinosaurs that sound like the groom from Father of the Bride and/or Carol Kane… but is it really that bad?!? Find out on our upcoming episode of Everything I Learned From Movies!!! Rating - ???/10 – It really could go either way… because there are dinosaurs involved! November 2 – We’re Back! A Dinosaur Story (1993) Is this the best 1993 dinosaur movie from the minds of Steven Spielberg, Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall & Universal Pictures? I think that I can comfortably say that it is not. However, this is a Don Bluth animated film… so from the creator of “Secret of NIMH” & “Land Before Time” which are for kids but with a dark twist… and he’s bringing dinosaurs into modern day New York City! So what do I think about it? It’ll actually be the week before the “Theodore Rex” episode so… check it out! Rating - ???/10 – It even becomes a musical halfway through… November 3 – Demonoid (1981) This one is a Mexican movie about a killer demonic hand going around and killing people… so what more could you want? Suzanne Eggers is the main actress and it’s not exactly high art… but I really enjoyed watching it! Rating – 8/10 – I have a weird thing with killer hand movies, either I love them or hate them… and I didn’t hate this one. November 4 – A Return to Salem’s Lot (1987) From the director & star of “The Stuff” comes the sequel to “Salem’s Lot” and it’s now on HBO Max!!! Michael Moriarity is a single father anthropologist filmmaker who goes to… I guess his wife’s hometown of Salem’s Lot after she had been away for 20 years, but her aunt left them a house or something… and then things get weird when he realizes that the town is ran by vampires who want him to document their lives to keep a record of them as the superior race living in secret. Things get REALLY weird when his high school sweetheart is still there waiting for him at the ripe old age of 17 (and he’s in his early 40s) and there’s the debut of Tara Reid as his son’s love interest… and yeah, it’s worth a watch in my opinion! Rating – 9/10 – I enjoyed it more than the original… but it was also half the length & more like “The Stuff” Have a great weekend everybody!!! Steve |
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
May 2024
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