Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
A busy week with MIL's friend coming to visit to celebrate MIL's birthday... but we still managed to watch a few movies after busy days in the busy evenings...
February 23 – Jodorowsky’s Dune (2013)
In preparation for Dune: Part 2, we’ve been going back and watching the 1984 version, Part 1, still having a hard time finding a copy of Children of Dune… but will probably watch that next month… and this amazing documentary about eccentric filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky… and how he almost made a Dune movie in the mid-70’s. They go into detail about the Ocean’s 11 team of bold filmmaking behind the scenes… and then the absolutely batsh*t insane casting choices for the characters… and I’m assuming all fueled by passion & LSD. It’s incredible… and an also great way to see how not only Dune but the conception of THIS Dune project changed Hollywood for decades to come.
Rating – 10/10 – Jodorowsky, Salvadore Dali, Orsen Welles & Mick Jagger would have NEVER completed an actual movie… but it’s fun to think
February 24 – My Fellow Americans (1996)
James Garner & Jack Lemmon play former Presidents who get caught up in a conspiracy with current President Dan Aykroyd, who tries to pin it on them… and hijinx ensue when Everett McGill is sent to kill them. It’s a comedy about basically Bill Clinton & George Bush being on the lam… and I’m not going to lie to you… even given the ridiculous state of current politics… I laughed a f**king lot and have for decades watching this movie. Throw in a cameo from friend of the podcast Dana Gould as a guy who gets frisked for bringing a sandwich & you’ve got an okay movie in my book.
Rating – 9/10 – For what it is, I really enjoyed it… but it’s easy when it’s James Garner & Jack Lemmon
February 26 – Double Impact (1991)
What’s better than one JCVD? TWO!!! Separated twins Chad & Alex are reunited when they find out that they are the heirs to a Hong Kong tunnel fortune (?!?) when the fellow investor killed their parents 25 years earlier… and hijinx ensue… ass kicking hijinx. I’ve loved this silly ass action movie since I was a kid… and every time that I watch it, I find new things that I love & hate about it… highest of recommendations.
Rating – 10+/10 – This isn’t your review… I was 10 when it came out & I’m going to be 43 in a few months… and I’ll still enjoy it
February 28 – Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969)
So a while back we watched the sequel “Support Your Local Gunfighter!” (1971) and it was a pretty fun & dumb Western starring prime James Garner… so now we watched the original… with essentially the same plot… gold boom town, violent individuals running the town, but in this original James Garner is just passing through & needing money to make his way to Australia (Rockford Down Under?!?) so he becomes the sheriff… and hijinx ensue. It’s essentially the same cast & plot points… but this one was the original. I particularly enjoyed the jail scenes with Jim & Bruce Dern & his father… didn’t care much for whatever was going on with the love interest but… hey, it’s a forced love interest in a western comedy so… what do you really expect?
Rating – 8/10 – Fun & dumb… and the MIL & her friend loved it (seeing all their crushes from teen days 55 years later)
That's it for this week... but you might know at least ONE movie that we'll be watching in the next week... until then, have a great day everybody!!!
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Another busy week... slowly but surely trying to turn my MIL into an adult... but her birthday is coming up so maybe that'll help... and here are a few movies we watched in the meantime...
February 16 – Slipstream (1989)
You may recall a while back we did a dive in Mark Hamill live action movies in the early 90’s… and this was actually his first movie after Return of the Jedi (1983) where he plays a bounty hunter chasing after a man (Bill Paxton) who somehow stole a murderer (Bob Peck aka Muldoon from Jurassic Park) from his custody… and hijinx ensue in a post-apocalyptic world. This movie was… odd… and I kinda liked it. There were Academy Award winner cameos from Ben Kingsley & F Murray Abraham… and just a weirdness. How much did I enjoy it?
Rating - ???/10 – Find out during Marky March on Everything I Learned From Movies
February 18 – Live & Let Die (1973)
For Mardi Gras, we were looking up New Orleans movies… and this nugget came up. Yes, one of the Roger Moore era James Bond movies with one of the bottom five Bond theme songs (suck it, Wings… you know you did, you know you did, you know you did…) about MI-6 agents being killed at a rapid rate… and Bond has to find out in New York, New Orleans & San Monique how they’re all connected. Spoilers: It has a lot to do with Yophet Kotto… and Baron Samedi… and f**king voodoo magic?!? Throw in a fortune teller played by jailbait-looking Jane Seymour & you’ve got yourself a Bond movie! I enjoy this one… the action isn’t particularly great but the scenery ain’t bad… and “Truck Turner” era Kotto is a decent villain with his band of African-American stereotypes at his disposal.
Rating – 8/10 – One thing I really love: Seriously the best (or at least most hilarious) death in Bond history…
February 20 – The Beekeeper (2024)
That’s right! Our first movie of the new year for Valentine’s Day! I know what women want… and it’s Jason Statham in a heartwarming tale of a man who’s down on his luck, until Phylicia Rashad takes him into her home in exchange for keeping her bees happy & healthy. They build a plutonic relationship built on respect & decency. Then one day, she falls for a phishing scheme that takes EVERYTHING from her… and she takes her own life. Statham then meets her daughter who’s a cop… they find out about the scheme… and then it becomes a lengthy legal battle, where they form their own plutonic (and maybe more) relationship as they delve into the sticky world of fraud & legislation set to prote… oh wait, NOPE! STATHAM GOES ON A F**KING KILLING SPREE LITERALLY ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP BECAUSE HE’S PART OF A SECRET SOCIETY OF JOHN WICKS!!! This movie is f**king nuts & it may come up again during Best of 2024 in my opinion. Is the script incredible? Of course not! Who’s give a f**k about that? Statham is a John Wick… there are others like him but they last seconds before dying brutal deaths (from director David Ayer)… and instead of taking out Nazis or racists, he’s taking out prick phishing telemarketers & anybody else who stands in his way.
Rating – 10+/10 – It’s exactly what I wanted in a movie… and Izzy agrees
February 22 – Live Wire (1992)
There was a time when everybody wanted Pierce Brosnan to be James Bond… but TV had the power to keep that from happening. Before he was able to break those Bonds though (see what I did there?), we got this action movie where he plays an FBI bomb disposal expert… whose wife (Jenny from Beverly Hills Cops) is having an affair with a senator (Ron Silver)… and now terrorists have devised and are using a clear liquid explosive that activates when people ingest it… and hilariously explosive hijinx ensue! This is from the director of Scanners 2 & 3 as well as Screamers… so yeah, I’ve talked about how stupid fun these action movies are… but this is with Pierce Brosnan trying to do an American accent… and British actor Ben Cross as a Harvard educated Middle Eastern terrorist… and people exploding in crowded areas when they sip water… whether in a restaurant, courtroom, birthday party, whatever!
Rating – 10/10 – A tight 80 minutes of stupid fun… coming soon to the podcast, I’m sure
See you next week!!!
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
It was a fun busy week with Superb Owl Usher Concert going exactly as everybody expected (almost to a scripted level) but plenty of great eats from Izzy & decent commercials from everyone from PlutoTV to Dunkin Donuts and beyond... and then Tuesday was Mardi Gras so we had some fried chicken with red beans & rice... and today is Valentine's Day so we're having a heart shaped pizza! We also had a fun incident where we may through my MIL out on her ass if she doesn't stop purposely sabotaging everything involving making her an independent entity & out of our f**king house... but we watched some movies...
February 8 – Money Train (1995)
Searching through Tubi and found a movie that I hadn’t really thought much about since it came out on VHS, “brothers” Woody Harrelson & Wesley Snipes are New York subway cops… and their new squad member is Jennifer Lopez… and their boss (?) is Robert Blake who has a heavily armored subway car that transports all the money from the subway… and hijinx ensue when Woody keeps getting in debt and blah blah blah… Money Train! I almost feel like this is the perfect example of a movie where they started with a title… and then tried to fill in from there. That being said… I still enjoyed it. There’s a LOT of humor and situations that don’t age well at all… but there’s some crazy action scenes.
Rating – 8/10 – One major drawback… a lot more drama than I care for… but that’s just because I don’t have… what’s it called? Empathy?
February 10 – The Little Rascals (1994)
I hadn’t seen this Tubi treasure in a while either… and wondered if it held up. Basically it’s about those street kids from the 30’s and their hilarious hijinx… but in a “modern day” setting of the early 90’s. Look… obviously a lot of the kids hadn’t done much since because… well, they were hired to be cute kids. However, kudos to director Penelope Spheeris (“Wayne’s World”) for making a movie like this. The jokes are a nice mix of over-the-top for the kids & subtle for the adults… and it’s just a bunch of fun to watch for me.
Rating – 9/10 – Would probably be a 10 if a certain bankrupt loser f**king punchline of an elected official didn’t have a cameo AS THE VILLAIN’S DAD!!! HOW AM I TO BELIEVE THAT ANYBODY WOULD VOTE FOR THIS GUY AS PRESIDENT?!? IF YOU DID, F**K YOU!!! YOU’RE A MORON!!! KILL YOURSELF!!!
February 12 – The Marvels (2023)
The MCU continues with all three of the Marvels coming together through… honestly some ridiculous dimensional riff nonsense connected to their powers… and hijinx ensue. Okay, I heard a bunch of bad reviews about this movie when it came out… but of course most were from people whose opinions I’m always weary of… but I can totally see how this might be your favorite or least favorite of the MCU… but at least it’s entertaining. There are some bold departures, even for a comic book movie, but the girl that plays Ms Marvel & her family are immensely entertaining. The movie is quirky & slightly nonsensical… and I always hate stupid drama about “why didn’t you pick up the phone?” type crap… but that’s probably because I have my own issues with that & my own family. Aside from that though, I’d watch it for “free” on Disney Plus.
Rating – 8/10 – Passable… but if you’ve made it this far, why not check it out?
February 14 – Hard Target (1993)
I may have already talked about this movie… but yeah, it’s mulleted JCVD in New Orleans helping a lady find her “diddy” while also being hunted by Lance Henriksen & Arnold Vosloo (and Sven Ole Thorsen for a cup of coffee) in a John Woo action extravaganza! Pure nonsense, maybe even more so than The Marvels… and I absolutely love it!!!
Rating – 10+/10 – WILFORD BRIMLEY RIDES A HORSE WITH AN EXPLODING BUILDING BEHIND HIM!!!
Anybody else have their tickets for Dune: Part Two already? Because I do!!! Have a great week everybody!!!
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Izzy's feeling better after yet another illness... but she'll be ready just in time for the weekend of Chinese New Year / Super Bowl / Mardi Gras / Valentine's Day! Excellent! Here are a few movies that we've seen though...
February 1 – Only Murders in the Building (2021-23)
That’s right, we watched three seasons of this Hulu series… about an aging actor (Steve Martin), a struggling stage director (Martin Short) and some lady’s freeloading niece (Selena Gomez) who start a podcast about a murder that goes on in their NYC apartment building… and hijinx ensue… and then again… and then again. Yes, I know the description doesn’t sound good at all but… after watching 12 seasons of Murder She Wrote… I absolutely loved this series. There are definitely a few parts where you’re like “Oh okay, they had to pull it out to ten episodes… but thank god it’s not 26 episodes per season” and if you’re into murder mysteries with a LOT of humor, then I recommend it.
Rating – 9/10 – Basically all three seasons were pretty good… though they get REALLY self-referential in season 3 but not to a point that it hurt
February 2 – Hypnotic (2023)
So I went to the home office for the first time in 18 months… but it was just a quick flight… so I finally pulled the trigger on watching director Robert Rodriguez’s latest about a detective (Ben Affleck) trying to solve the mystery of his kidnapped daughter… and it takes him into a new world of people with powers & a secret government program. Throw in character actors like William Fichtner, Jeff Fahey, Jackie Earle Haley & the a toned-down but still quirky director… and I actually really enjoyed this movie. It’s also a tight 90 minutes and it’s not afraid to take a pretty big turn at the end of the 2nd act.
Rating – 8/10 – I may have Izzy watch this one too…
February 3 – TMNT: Mutant Mayhem (2023)
This is the latest reimagining of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where teenagers voice the turtles, Jackie Chan is Master Splinter, and half of Hollywood has small voice parts… and it acts as the origin story for the turtles (if you don’t know their story with ooze then you’re a teenager) and them meeting… I’ll just say it… a WILDLY different version of high school reporter April O’Neil and trying to befriend her… but then stumble upon a group of mutants who have been committing crimes across NYC… but to what end?!? The animation style was pretty good and unique where it seems like a weird hybrid of almost stop-motion & smudged paint… and the story is whatever, teenagers make stupid choices cuz hormones, but luckily the movie was a LOT of fun… even if not what I’m used to with the franchise.
Rating – 9/10 – My brother HATES this movie… but then again, that usually means most people will love it
February 4 – The Time Machine (2002)
Jason from the History of Bad Ideas Podcast wanted to talk about this nugget on the podcast… based on the HG Wells story about a scientist from 1899 who creates a time machine to go back and save his wife from her untimely death… only to find it doesn’t work… so perhaps the answers are in the FUTURE!!! Smash cut to the moon falling and messing with the Earth and he’s 800,000 years into the future… and hijinx ensue. The cast is solid with Guy Pearce, Orlando Jones, Samantha Mumba & Jeremy Irons for probably a day of shooting… but at least it’s a tight 90 minutes or so because the movie is ALL over the place and… frankly the ending is pretty head-scratchingly rushed & bad… but I’m a fan of the janky Morlock costumes & stuntwork by Stan Winston’s company.
Rating – ???/10 – I remembered this movie differently from when I first watched it… but check the podcast for details
February 5 – New Adventures of Pippi Longstockings (1988)
I remember watching this movie a few times as a kid… and boy oh boy did they make them differently back then. This is the American adaptation of a classic Swedish (?) character & they made a few movies back in the 60’s & 70’s too… about a little redheaded pig-tailed girl who’s the daughter of a pirate… and she stays in their home in a conservative town (think Pete’s Dragon time era?) and the town is flipped upside down by her crazy antics & free thinking… but it’s more like… superhero level antics like spinning so fast with a broom that she becomes the propeller on a gyro copter, but yeah… it’s crazy… and the film stock made me think that this was made in the mid to late 70’s… but nope, 1988. The girl that plays Pippi was pretty great… but most of the other kids you can tell the ones that didn’t star in anything else & those that would go on to have pretty successful careers. It’s rough at times… and almost two hours long (WHAT?!?) but… meh, I’ve seen worse
Rating – 7/10 – It startled me how much I remembered from watching it 35 years ago… so maybe give it a watch?
February 6 – Truck Turner (1974)
Legendary soul singer & badass Isaac Hayes plays Truck Turner, a bounty hunter who’s after a pimp when he skips bail… but when the confrontation ends in a shootout & the pimp’s death, a hit is put out on him… and then all the other pimps in town try to take him out! This movie… is amazing! Is it the greatest from a storytelling or character arc angle? Of course not! This is Blaxploitation at its finest. There are about as many on-screen deaths & dummy kills as N-words casually tossed around… and it’s all involving either pimps (played by the likes of Yaphet Kotto & Nichelle Nichols) or bounty hunters who, from what I can tell, smell like cat urine throughout the entirety of the movie. Cinematic gold!
Rating – 10/10 – Seeing O’Hura go full pimp is a sight to behold!
February 7 – Blue Beetle (2023)
The forgotten DC movie because of the reboot universe & “The Flash” getting all the publicity… hell, I think the “Batwoman” movie got more promotion than this movie did… but it’s about a Hispanic family whose college graduate son (kid from Cobra Kai) can’t get a real job… until one day he basically stumbles upon this ancient alien amulet or something that turns him into the Blue Beetle. Yeah, the comic book part of this is pretty ridiculous… but I enjoyed the family aspect of it. Similarly to the Shazam movies, but with a lot more heart for the familia… and it was actually pretty funny too, especially with George Lopez & the nana.
Rating – 8/10 – Not bad… it’s a shame that it’ll just be completely forgotten in a matter of months…
Have a great weekend everybody!!!
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
It's that odd time of year here in Utah where it can dump a foot or two of snow overnight... and then be in the mid-50's the rest of the week... and the only constant is that half the people you know are sick & the other half are waiting to be or will never admit it... but still... I watch movies...
January 26 – Elvis (2022)
So we finally set aside 2.5 hours to watch Tom Hanks play a villain with a funny accent & Austin Butler in the role that got him Feyd Rautha in Dune 2… and from the opening minutes… you know this is a Baz Luhrman production!!! This biopic of Elvis Aron Presley is… over-the-top, fairly preposterous, loosely based on events that happened in reality, SO MUCH MAKEUP ON EVERYBODY ALL THE TIME, quite racist in a lot of incidental walls (but that was the 50’s & 60’s), but also… the story that it tells (though again, loosely based in reality) wasn’t horrible. It’s more a movie about the huckster Colonel Parker (Hanks) taking advantage of a talented young artist & exploiting him and the music industry to get his ends… and then trying to convince the audience that it was all their fault that he died… because he did it all for the fans… and if there were no fans, then Elvis would still be alive. Bold!
Rating – 8/10 – I enjoyed it for the dark fairy tale that it was… knowing that it’s all BS… but Izzy did not enjoy it… knowing that it’s all BS…
January 27 – Ghosts of Mars (2001)
Director John Carpenter’s official “FU” to Hollywood where cops on Mars (Martian cops?) played by Jason Statham, Natasha Henstridge, Pam Grier, Clea Duvall & others go to an outpost to transport the dangerous criminal James “Desolation” Williams (Ice Cube) but… when they get into town… everybody’s gone… and then they’re found… either headless & hanging upside-down, or turned into some bloodthirsty zombie Mad Max group possessed by the ancient Martian ghosts that had long since been buried in the bowels of the planet… but were mined out & are doing everything they can to kill the invaders of their planets (earthlings). Sound preposterous? It was intended to!!! I haven’t even mentioned the breathing goggles. This movie is kind of a mix of Assault on Precinct 13, The Fog, Escape from NY, all the Carpenter classics… but they went to space and it’s tongue in cheek, right? I hope so… because otherwise it’s absolutely preposterous that this movie got made.
Rating – 8/10 – Lots of things that I like about the movie… but there are definitely things that’re out there. BREATHING! GOGGLES!!!
January 28 – Solo (1996)
I remember seeing this movie in theatres when it came out… but it’s basically Mario Van Peebles as a military robot soldier (universal soldier?) who escapes when he’s able to be disassembled after getting a conscience… and general William Sadler is sent to take him out. He befriends a village in Central America to help them with their own dictator situation… and hijinx ensue. Now… this is not a great movie… but it’s okay & dumb fun. MVP does a decent job of being an emotionless robot. Sadler is great as a prick. Academy Award winner Adrian Brody shows up as a scientist!
Rating – 8/10 – I’d watch it again… and you might hear about it on the podcast one day
January 29 – Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Jason Momoa stars in this remake of the tale of Conan made famous by Schwarzenegger… and Stephen Lang is the big baddie, Rose McGowan is the witch daughter, Rachel Nichols is the virginal hottie, personal favorite Nathan Jones shows up for a cup of coffee… it’s not a bad movie, just really PG-13. It doesn’t go necessarily hard or soft either… it’s just kind of middling… but I still enjoy it because Sword & Sandals is my genre.
Rating – 8/10 – I’d recommend it if somebody likes the original Conan… but it’s more Conan the Destroyer
January 30 – Highlander: Endgame (2000)
The 4th installment of the Highlander saga… that came out after SIX seasons of the TV series and combined both Highlanders (Adrian Paul & Christopher Lambert) along with a bunch of random actors (Donnie Yen, Bruce Payne, Damon Dash, etc) when the ultimate Immortal Kell cames after them for his convoluted revenge! Okay, this MAY be the best Highlander SEQUEL movie… but when you don’t really have competition as far as a decently made movie, then that’s what it’s saying. The movie itself is kind of head-scratchingly dumb… but there are elements that are decent. The Paul-Yen fight scene is legit… there’s stronger storytelling elements in this movie as opposed to the TV series… although there’s also things that completely contradict not just Immortals lore, but the TV series completely… so how do I rate it?
Rating - ???/10 – Find out on Everything I Learned From Movies, available on all major podcatchers
January 31 – Highlander: The Source (2007)
The 5th installment… in the not-too-distant apocalyptic future, planets are aligning and stuff… and there’s the Guardian of the mysterious mythological SOURCE… and now some Immortals want to find it… before it’s too late… and apparently Duncan MacLeod (Adrian Paul) doesn’t want to… but YET ANOTHER EX-WIFE is apparently having visions about The Source… so he comes along… and hijinx ensue. This movie is f**king rough. I believe I read it was a Sci-Fi Channel movie and the budget kinda shows… but oh boy…
Rating - ???/10 – Hear all about it on the Podcast!!! You know it’s Highlander Month!!!
What's coming up in February?!? Random movies with great guests on the podcast, Chinese New Year + Super Bowl + Mardi Gras + Valentines Day in a four day period, visitors, a Leap Year, all kinds of fun stuff I don't even know about yet... see you there!!!
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Had my first trip to the home office in 18 months & it was great to see all the new team members for the first time (in real life) and the teammates I've met before too! Also, had a chance to watch some football with B&K... and watched a few movies when I wasn't working...
January 19 – In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
An insurance adjustor (Sam Neill) goes to check out the world’s most famous horror writer Sutter Cane (definitely not Stephen King, played by Jurgen Prochnow) and find out why the fans are so fanatic about him… and hijinx ensue when he stumbles into the 7th ring of hell? Yeah, this is a John Carpenter masterpiece… it’s completely nuts, especially the last half hour or so… I don’t want to spoil it more than that.
Rating – 9/10 – Seriously, if weird horror is your thing, then you’ve probably already seen this… but if not, check it out!
January 20 – Fortress (1994)
While watching the Highlander movies, this one was recommended. In the not-too-distant future, a man (Christopher Lambert) & his wife are imprisoned for having an illegal pregnancy… and sent to The Fortress, a private underground prison controlled by CCTV, AI, dream reading technology, pain modules & all sorts of crazy stuff… and led by the evil warden (Kurtwood Smith). Your fairly typical prison escape movie then follows… but with crazy futuristic twists that… don’t need to make sense! I really enjoyed it… the show is nuts… which you would kind of expect from the director of “Re-Animator” but… yeah, I liked it.
Rating – 9/10 – Lambert is still an emotionless log… but there’s some great stuff going on around him
January 21 – Fortress 2: Re-Entry (2000)
Of course we followed it up with the sequel!!! Seven years after the original (spoilers, he escaped), Brennick (Lambert) is living in isolation with a few rebels… and seven years later they get caught… and are sent to the New Fortress… IN SPACE!!! SPACE JAIL!!! NOW how’s we going to get back?!? Hijinx ensue… and yeah, it’s probably even crazier than you would expect…
Rating – 8/10 – Pam Grier even shows up for plot convenience!!!
January 22 – The Flash (2023)
The death note of the DC cinematic universe before they do a hard reboot… but it’s The Flash getting his own feature film (with a little bit of origin story thrown in) where he’s crying about his mom being dead for over a decade & then finds out that he can run so fast that he can travel through time… and hijinx ensue as he goes through the multiverse. Michael Keaton (and others) pop up as Batman… plenty of cameos from the rest of the Justice League… it’s a bit of a fuddled mess, but there are a few funny moments… overall though, the movie kind of makes fun of itself with how “just go with it” the tone is… and plenty of self-aware jabs as to why everybody hates The Flash… but then continues to do it… not horrible but kinda long & nobody likes Ezra Miller.
Rating – 6/10 – HOW DARE YOU WASTE NIC CAGE CAMEO?!?
January 23 – Knives Out (2019)
I don’t recall if I mentioned watching this the first time back in the 2020 days… but it’s about detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) being called in mysteriously to the apparent suicide of a famous writer (Christopher Plummer) but there may be MURDER afoot. All-Star cast, lots of fun, twists & turns throughout… enjoyed it… well done, director Rian Johnson (“Last Jedi”)
Rating – 10/10 – If you like Murder Mysteries, this is a new twist of one for you
January 24 – Support Your Local Gunfighter (1971)
Izzy’s Mom wanted to watch a western… and this came up on Tubi… and apparently it’s a sequel to “Support Your Local Sheriff” (1969) starring a lot of the same people… but it’s not a sequel, just kind of the same movie but instead of James Garner being mistaken for a sheriff, he’s mistaken for a gunfighter this time… brilliant! It’s a western comedy… though maybe a lot of the humor was HUGE in the 70’s because it’s about a con man James Garner with an oddly specific gambling addiction, a “free willed” chick who just shoots at everybody, some shiesty mining barons feuding over nonsense, but yeah… it was 90 minutes, Jimmy Garner is pure charisma, and you know what you’re getting into when you start up the movie.
Rating – 8/10 – Chuck Connors also pops up at the end! Hijinx ensue…
January 25 – Expend4bles (2023)
Yes, the 4th installment of the “gimme all the 80’s & 90’s action heroes” action franchise… and in this one, the new members (50 Cent, Jason Scipio, etc.) and the old crew that wanted to be in this one (Stallone, Statham, Couture, Lundgren, etc.) are trying to get Nuclear McGuffins from Ghadafi’s Old Chemical Factory (literally what it says in movie) before bad guy Iko Uwais gets them… hijinx ensue… STALLONE DIES… they sad… now Andy Garcia & Megan Fox are leading them on the next mission to get the McGuffins back from a boat. That’s the 1st act. This movie was… exactly as dumb as it sounds. Yes, I love action and I can forgive ridiculousness… but the last two acts of this movie are on a bluescreen boat soundstage and it’s REALLY obvious… but yeah, if you’re signing up for the 4th Expendables movie… you know what you’re getting into
Rating – 8/10 – It’s a shame we had a blizzard so I couldn’t see “The Beekeeper” opening weekend… but this did okay
Have a great weekend everybody!!!
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Another busy week... but next week I'm going to the office for the first time in 18 months!!! I got a haircut to celebrate... oh & watched a few movies...
January 12 – Fire in the Sky (1993)
Based on the true story of an Arizona lumberjack (DB Sweeney) who was abducted by aliens for five days, and the whole town turns on the other five guys who were out there with him (for mildly realistic reasons) but then when he comes back… what now? I’ll say this about the movie… it was pretty well done in showing how the “facts” of the story have been told over the 20+ years prior… and how the interrogations just aren’t answering any questions & there’s no evidence of… anything really. We even started watching a documentary that it recommended on Tubi but… it was exactly the same BS but cut like a TV show so… no thank you. So how does the movie end? Does it?
Rating – 8/10 – I enjoyed it but it also made me want to watch the craziness of “Communion” instead too…
January 13 – Monkey Shines (1988)
An athlete gets struck by a truck and become paraplegic. His lady runs off with his doctor (Stanley Tucci). His mom is overbearing. His caregiver is horrible. However, his best friend is a bit of a mad scientist… and is testing some intelligence formula on monkeys… and so when he needs a monkey assistant (and best friend needs to hide his experiments) then it works out… until the monkey starts getting feelings towards the paraplegic… and hijinx ensue. This is a George Romero horror flick… and honestly one of my favorites. It has that 80’s horror appeal of honestly not going what’s going to happen next (mental links?) or any real explanation for a lot of stuff… but yeah, if you’re into horror, it’s a good flick that’ll probably make you chuckle a few times.
Rating – 10/10 – Always a fun watch… especially towards the end
January 14 – Death Machines (1976)
This was a recommendation from the Grindbin Podcast (check out their episode), about an evil Oriental Dragon Lady who injects three martial arts masters with some serum that turns them into zombie assassins… and hijinx ensue when she sends them out against her enemies. This movie was a bit of a treat because… it’s just so weird. Yeah, there’s martial arts fighting but nothing special… and the acting is the typical kind of stilted that you would expect from a movie like this… but you really don’t know what’s going to happen from scene to scene because… honestly I’m pretty sure the people making the movie improvised half of it.
Rating – 8/10 – Would watch again… but would have to have first time watchers with me
January 15 – Bedazzled (2000)
We did this movie on the podcast a few years back from Djinn June (face it, the Devil is basically a genie in this movie) but it’s about a nerdy people pleaser (Brendan Fraser) who at his lowest point gets an offer of seven wishes from The Devil (Liz Hurley) and hilarious hijinx ensue. I’ve seen this movie a few dozen times in my life (one of my dad’s favorites) but I love how the moral of the story is he has to go through these ordeals & hijinx to basically realize… he’s f**king Brendan Fraser & with the slightest bit of confidence he can make his dreams come true.
Rating – 10+/10 – Yup, this movie may have somehow made me the way I am because of the moral at the end…
January 16 – Island of Dr. Moreau (1977)
Saw this one suggested on Tubi… and realized that I wasn’t sure if I had seen it. Based on the HG Wells classic, Michael York is shipwrecked on an island where Dr. Moreau (Burt Lancaster) is experimenting and making humanimals and hijinx ensue… and in this version, it’s a commentary on have & have-nots and double standards… and that of course leads to rebellion by the oppressed… and Michael York tries to leave with the daughter (Barbara Carrera) who allegedly is part-cat but…
Rating – 7/10 – This wasn’t a bad version just… the ending just kind happens really quick & I was like… is she a cat or is her makeup just smudged? The End
January 17 – Island of Dr. Moreau (1997)
This legendary flop version was also on Tubi… so rewatched it… and based on the HG Wells classic, David Thewlis is shipwrecked on an island where Dr. Moreau (Marlon Brando) is experimenting and making humanimals and hijinx ensue… and in this version, it’s a commentary more on trying to oppress these humanimals with pain-causing chips in their spines (brute force & threat of violence) and FULL-ON into the ideologies of Gods & religion… and self-identifying with “What am I? Father?” and all that mess… and Val Kilmer is absolutely insane in this movie… and David Thewlis would probably throat chop you if you asked him about the movie…
Rating – 7/10 – This is a bad version… but goddamn it, the movie is an absolutely sh*t show and I can’t look away. Would you like to know more?
January 18 – Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s Island of Dr. Moreau (2014)
This is the mystifying tale of eccentric filmmaker Richard Stanley and what he set out to do with the 1997 version of Island of Dr. Moreau… but hijinx ensue & he ended up getting canned for John Frankenheimer… but oh boy, that is NOT all that happens during this film with the craziness of Brando, Kilmer, Aussie extras, and… let’s face it… if Fairuza Balk is the voice of reason in your production… it’s gonna be epic!
Rating – 9/10 – Yes, the documentary is from the point of view of the sane… but what about the insane? I wonder if Kilmer talks about this in his documentary…
Have a great day everybody!!! Also... what the f**k happened to the Eagles?!?
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
The year 2024 continues... and new exciting things are popping up everyday... and here are some movies that we watched...
January 5 – Highlander 3: The Final Dimension (1994)
A few entries ago, I talked about how the original Highlander is a classic 80’s flick… and then the sequel happened and… kinda screwed over the franchise… so a few years later, they basically decided to do the first movie again, but with Mario Van Peebles as the bad guy instead of Clancy Brown. Don’t believe me? There are DOZENS of times you can line up the scenes exactly the same… and guess where you can hear all about it?!?
Rating - ???/10 – Everything I Learned From Movies on all the major podcatchers!!! Home Video Hustle joins us for this one!!!
January 6 – Muscles & Mayhem: An Unauthorized Story of American Gladiators (2023)
When Izzy was recovering from pneumonia (whole story about that with the healthcare industry), she was watching a BUNCH of documentaries… and the only one she suggested to me was this! It was the story of the American Gladiators TV show (HUGE fan when I was a kid & saw the live show) primarily from the point of view of a few directors, producers, and the main stars like Gemini, Ice, Nitro, Laser, etc. Basically they were exploited bodybuilders who were rode hard & put away basically penniless but… yeah, that’s a tale as old as time in Hollywood, right? So then I started wondering… why was this the unauthorized story besides being from the view of the exploited?
Rating – 10/10 – If you’re a fan of American Gladiators, check it out! Ice has a podcast too so I’m probably going to start listening to that…
January 7 – 30 for 30: The American Gladiators Documentary (2023)
This is why! ESPN did a 30 for 30 primarily from the point of the view the exploitive Elvis impersonator creator of American Gladiators… with a few of the gladiators included (Gemini & Malibu I think were the only crossover for both though). In the second half of the documentary, they start looking for the mysterious OTHER creator Dann Carr… and that’s probably the most intriguing part of the documentary. Although it seems like it was edited a very particular way that had me unsettled…
Rating – 9/10 – Aside from that though, I’d recommend checking it out too
January 8 – Holly Star (2017)
Izzy had this movie recommended to her during the Hallmark movie season… and it’s about a broke puppeteer who goes back to her hometown… sassy friend who likes paintball & they couldn’t afford Melissa McCarthy… and she ends up selling Christmas trees with her old “boyfriend” (guy she kissed when she was 7?) and his dad… and hijinx ensue? Look, it was pretty rough… but there were moments… and you know what you’re getting into when you sign up for it. The puppetry pieces were kinda fun too… at least different.
Rating – 8/10 – It was kooky enough for a Christmas watch… completely inoffensive
January 9 – A Christmas Karen (2022)
This one I was worried about… but it’s basically a modern day “A Christmas Carol” but instead of Ebenezer Scrooge, you get a Karen… and I’ll be damned… I actually really enjoyed this movie. There’s definitely the parts where you absolutely wish horrible things to Karen… and yeah, a bunch of things that she does are absolutely unforgiveable (even when we get the white savior moments at the end where money solves everything) but some of the jokes were pretty funny… and yeah, it was a LOT better than I expected going in.
Rating – 9/10 – I’d say give it a watch
January 10 – The Knight Before Christmas (2019)
We had seen this one a few years before… but my wife wanted to watch it again because she recommended it to somebody else and wanted to yell “Old Crone!” at the top of her lungs for the next few weeks. Basically a 15th century knight is sent to modern day Ohio by a witch to find his true purpose or quest or whatever… and he runs into Vanessa Hudgens… and hijinx ensue as he’s a decent human being in a world full of dipshits… and they hook up in ridiculous ways.
Rating – 9/10 – Not bad for a Hallmark Christmas movie… and apparently Ms. Hudgens is in DOZENS of them, like a whole cinematic universe
January 11 – The Creator (2023)
In the not-too-distant future, AI has become self-aware Skynet style and the robots designed to help mankind & build their society have risen up and bombed Los Angeles… so they were banned from America… yet live peacefully in New Asia (Eurasian continent). Hmm… gee, I wonder if they’re really bad guys. However, America is trying to find Nimrata, the AI God who the AI worships… but hijinx ensue when an undercover agent (Denzel’s kid) gets caught up & falls in love with a woman in New Asia… but then the seal team 6 comes in & BOOM! Now it’s a few years later & they bring him back in because… his wife isn’t dead! Yeah, you obviously know how the movie goes from here… and it’s basically what Avatar should be… but apparently on a budget of $25 million (ridiculously good for that amount). It has a very… Fallout meets Chappie kind of feel to it… but yeah, check it out.
Rating – 9/10 – Could have been tightened up a bit but… definitely worth a watch on Hulu
Depending on the weather, I may actually get to see a movie in theatres since "Barbenheimer" months ago... but come Hell or high water... allegedly Dune: Part 2 comes out on March 1st so... got that to look forward to as well. Have a great day everybody!!! Stay warm out there!!!
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Starting off 2024 with a healthier wife & a few movies off the queue...
January 1 – Violent Night (2022)
Ever wanted to see Die Hard… but with Santa? Well, now’s your chance. Santa (David Harbour) is out doing his Santa thing… when he gets caught in an isolated mansion while a terrorist group led by John Leguizamo has taken a bunch of rich a-holes hostage & only Santa can save them… well… actually just one good girl… and hijinx ensue. It’s cute, fun, violent obviously… and I had a lot of fun watching it. The kills are pretty funny & over-the-top. The Christmas clichés are prevalent. Give it a watch if you’re a teenager or older.
Rating – 10/10 – May be a new holiday classic… you know, like Die Hard
January 2 – K-9 (1989)
An a-hole police officer (Jim Belushi) may have a criminal kingpin trying to take him out (after a chopper shoots up his car at makeout point in the opening scene) so he calls upon the help of a canine officer that may/may not have PTSD to help him bring him down. Hijinx ensue as I’m not entirely sure how this office gets to have a K-9 except that movie has to movie… and we get to talk about it on the podcast.
Rating - ???/10 – That’s Everything I Learned From Movies on ALL the major podcatchers!!!
January 3 – Turner & Hooch (1989)
Think K-9 sounded interesting… what if a few months later we released the same movie but with Tom Hanks instead of Jim Belushi as the cop? And the dog is more John Belushi in nature? Sounds like a winner, huh?
Rating - ???/10 - That’s Everything I Learned From Movies on ALL the major podcatchers to find out if it’s as good as you remember!!!
January 4 – The Retirement Plan (2023)
A woman & her daughter are being hunted by criminals… so the only thing they can do is go to Grand Cayman to find her estranged father (Nic Cage) who’s a retired beach bum to save them… but oh yeah, he’s a former operative so he’s about to kill some fools! Ron Perlamn, Jackie Earle Haley, Ernie Hudson & others show up… and hijinx ensue. It’s an action comedy and anything with Nic Cage is great to me… but yeah, it’s not the greatest of the genre. I had a lot of fun with it though… and Nic Cage is always great. Did I mention Nic Cage AND Ernie Hudson are in it?!?
Rating – 9/10 – I support more Cage in action comedies!!!
What? An entry that's half a shameless plug for the podcast?!? Look, if you're checking out this site, then you're going to love the podcast... so give it a listen. Why not?!?
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Izzy is getting healthier by the day... and in doing so, we've been watching movies again... so here's what we did when we weren't working...
December 26 – Indiana Jones & the Dial of Destiny (2023)
We finally watched the 5th installment of the Indiana Jones series now that it’s on Disney+ and this one catches up with everyone’s favorite archeologist now in list mid-70’s during the 1960’s… and he has to retrieve this artifact that the Nazis were looking for a generation earlier… only there’s now still a Nazi scientist working with the American government to get it too. Oh, did I mention this artifact is a Time Machine you can fit into your pocket? Hijinx ensue. Look… I kind of enjoyed the movie. Was it perfect? Of course not. Harrison Ford is 80+ years old & they’re trying to convince you that he’s an action hero still. The action scenes look like cut scenes from a video game. There are SO many “member” moments that you might dare say it’s fan service… and yeah, that’s what it was… and I enjoyed it. Mads Mikellsen is a good villain of course. Check it out. Why not?
Rating – 8/10 – Could have been better, could have been worse. Better than Crystal Skulls AND Temple of Doom
December 27 – Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
I remember my dad & I renting this movie on VHS back when it came out… and about 15 minutes into it, we double checked that we had rented the right movie & got the correct cassette. This is legendarily one of the most confusing & confounding sequels ever made… to a movie that probably shouldn’t have had a sequel to begin with… yet there’s still a sick, sinister joy to watching it. Now, good luck trying to find the original version of the movie that I watched as a kid where all the swashbuckling immortals are from the Planet Zeist & exiled on Earth as punishment for whatever. In the Directors or Renegade cuts on DVDs now, they attempt to make it they’re from the Past instead but… that somehow makes even less sense really. Wait, did you not see the original Highlander so you don’t know about the lore?
Rating - ???/10 – Then you’d better tune into Everything I Learned from Movies Podcast this January when we dive into Highlander Month!!!
December 28 – Batman Forever (1995)
So what if I can probably recite this movie line for line? That could easily be said of each of the first three Batman movies (1989-95) and then Batman & Robin came around and reminded me that movies could be god-awful again. Yes, this is the Val Kilmer as Batman/Bruce Wayne (spoilers?) and the bad guys are Jim Carrey as the Riddler & Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face with a side of Nicole Kidman as Dr. Tits McGee and Chris O’Donnell as Unwanted Drama. Jim & Tommy are hamming it up so much you’d think they owned stock in a cured meats company… I noticed cameos this watch that I’d never noticed before in the dozens of previous watches (Rene Auberjonois as Dr. Burton for example) but yeah… I enjoy this one.
Rating – 9/10 – It’s super cartoony, of course… but it’s not quite the full blown clusterf**k of B&R yet… plus I was 14 when it came out! Congo’s still better though!
December 29 – Mad Max (1979)
In the not-too-distant future of Australia, there’s basically an isolated area where people live… but there’s also a biker gang led by a man known as Toecutter. The police, who are basically a biker gang of their own, are powerless to stop them, bound by the law… but then Toecutter does something that sends policeman Max Rockatowsky on a vengeance spree. Yes, the original (and surprisingly tame) story of the Mad Max universe but with plenty of incredible stunts & world building… that gets cranked up to 11 in the sequels… and director George Miller is great… and can’t wait for Furiousa later this year. What do I think of the original though?
Rating – 10/10 – An incredible movie made on a shoestring budget back in the late 70’s, check it out
December 30 – Thunderbolt & Lightfoot (1974)
Did you know that Clint Eastwood & Jeff Bridges did a movie together nearly 50 years ago? Eastwood is Thunderbolt… a former bank robber whose past has caught up with him. Bridges is Lightfoot… apparently some rando who picks Thunderbolt up hitchhiking while a man is trying to kill him… but has a leadfoot as a reckless driver. Together, they’re going to get the old gang back together for one last score… and hijinx ensues. I’m not going to lie… I thought Jeff Bridges was going to end up being some sort of narc because of just how convenient everything was going together for this to happen… but about the time that he dresses up as a woman in a 1974 movie I thought… maybe not?
Rating – 8/10 – Definitely worth a watch in my opinion… the pace is slower at times but not bad for a 70’s flick
December 31 – Strange Days (1995)
This was a first time watch from director Kathryn Bigelow (former Mrs. James Cameron, Hurt Locker, Point Break, etc.) where a former cop / now “virtual experience peddler” (Ralph Fiennes) is harping over his ex-girlfriend (Juliette Lewis) who’s now with a big time music producer (Michael Wincott) when he stumbles upon a recorded experience that uncovers a huge conspiracy… and this is all in the not-too-distant future of LA on the eve of the millennium in 1999/2000. The cast is loaded… the camera work for the time (pre-GoPro and all) is REALLY impressive… sure, if you’ve seen a movie like this you know what the “twist” is going to be from jump street… but even then, it’s an entertaining twisted little tale.
Rating – 10/10 – Angela Bassett is a goddamn goddess & you need to give her that Academy Award before it’s too late, you cowards!!!
See you in 2024!!!
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing