Bad Movies, Good Beer, Funny Third Thing
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Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Thanksgiving was late this year, but also great! Four day weekend of watching football... and maybe a few movies... November 29 – Poolhall Junkies (2002) This is the timeless tale of a degenerate gambler getting in over his head… but luckily the writer & director is also the star (Mars Callahan) so this normally harrowing tale is really just a venue for displaying little vignettes of hustles, jokes & situations that he can just magically write himself out of. The rest of the cast is stacked with Christopher Walken, Chazz Palminteri, Clint Eastwood’s daughter, Michael Rosenbaum & such… but it’s 2002 as heck & this guys tries to be the next Tarantino… playing pool. Will it work on me? Rating - ???/10 – Everything I Learned from Movies on all the major podcatchers as we’re Walken in a Winter Wonderland all December!!! December 1 – Alien: Romulus (2024) In the not too distant future, due to corporate greed & treachery, a group of young adults find that the only way for them to leave their oppressive status is to hijack a decommissioned spaceship & head to another planet… but they soon find out why the ship was decommissioned… and it’s Xenomorphs. Now, this latest Alien movie is great in that it’s back to the standard horror format as opposed to… whatever the last few Ridley Scott things have been… but pretty simple story, pretty simple plot, fairly predictable, so was it done well? Rating – 9/10 – I really enjoyed it… but hey, I also liked AVP so I’m probably the target demographic December 3 – Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (1983) We rewatched “The Fall Guy” (2024) for an upcoming episode on another podcast… and as you may know, the movie they’re making is called “Metalstorm” in the movie… but it wasn’t until I was doing a little research that apparently that was based on a little known Full Moon production… which is this movie here. Now, obviously it’s really in name only because in the new movie, they’re doing some weird space cowboy loves an alien revolt saga… but in this one, it’s even advertised as “Star Wars Meets Mad Max” where it’s a desert planet, there’s a warlord that gets power from crystals, a vengeful daughter of a slain scientist, and of course… a race of cyclops… and hijinx ensues. We’ll definitely be talking about this on the podcast in 2025… but just to spoil it a bit… Rating – 8/10 – This was my jam… December 5 – Agatha All Along (2024) Yes, we watched all nine episodes of the Disney+ miniseries about a character from WandaVision years ago & her witchy coven spinoff but… look, Kathryn Hahn was the best part of WandaVision & now they’ve added Aubrey Plaza to the mix… and that was before I knew they were going to be an estranged couple in the series (witchy lesbians?) but will Agatha be able to get her powers back and continue on in the MCU Multiverse… or will we have to rely on some younger, more affordable version of her? I think you know that answer… but will Steve like it? Rating – 8/10 – It wasn’t that bad… the witchy stuff was okay… kinda meh for the most part but also fun at times… just drags out a bit for my liking Trying to get a few more 2024 movies in for the Stevie Awards... coming soon!!! Steve
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Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate... and/or watch movies in the week leading up to it... November 21 – The Lost World (1992) No, not the Spielberg directed sequel to Jurassic Park… this is the Arthur Conan Doyle inspired one from the director of My Pet Monster that came out the year BEFORE JP. It stars John Rhys-Davis as the explorer leading an expedition into the heart of Africa for a “Lost World” that he had heard about from a dying man & his sketchbook on his last voyage… and hijinx ensue. It has a very TV movie feel to it… especially with the dinosaurs being in that low-budget 80’s way… and used sparingly… but the performances… are they enough to pull me back in?!? Rating - ???/10 – DINOVEMBER ON EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES!!! TELL A FRIEND!!! WE JUST TALKED TO CAPTAIN POWER TIM DUNIGAN!!! November 23 – Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning – Part One (2023) Yes, I finally watched it… nearly 18 months after it came out… and I think it’s been on Amazon Prime for a few months but… it got lost in the shuffle. You know how it is. I think the first half of the 7th installment of the franchise but… they seem to have found their stride since the 3rd one… and this time superherospy Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) needs to find a Key (capital intentional) to find The Entity (also intentional, but basically the McGuffin AI that’s going to destroy the world Skynet style) and blasts from his past pop up because they’re working for The Entity… and hijinx ensue. Look, I love an action movie… but if you’re having every line delivered as if it’s the Most Important Line Ever Delivered in Cinema… EXCEPT for the one “comedic improv” driving scene that’s down the EXACT SAME PATH as the one in Fast X… it might just take me out of the movie a little bit… that being said… Rating – 9/10 – I really enjoyed it… and if you like spy movies, then you’ve probably already seen it… but if not, check it out November 25 – Sleepy Hollow (1999) Some have said that this was Tim Burton’s last great movie… and I had a pretty bad experience when I watched this in theaters back in the day… but this nearly two hour retelling of the story of Ichabod Crane (Johnny Depp) & the Headless Horseman (Christopher Walken) with plenty of other great cast members thrown into a weird & whimsical tale of science meeting magic and just overall cookyness with a drab color pallet… is worth a watch. I noticed this time just how much of a nod to Hammer movies it is (since we watched a bunch a while back) & Depp wasn’t completely annoying in this one… Rating – 9/10 – Not a bad flick & definitely good for the spooky season vibes November 27 – Twisters (2024) It’s a remake of the 90’s action flick about stormchasers Twister (you know, with Bill Paxton & Helen Hunt) but in this one they have the new Pitt McConaughey (Glen Powell) & some random blonde chick (who cares?) who are overcoming their demons of crippling inferiority complex and… I don’t know… handsome rationality? They’re trying to save people from tornados by dumping diaper chemicals into the whirly winds… but will they also find inexplicable love, other than the fact that they’re both kinda cute especially when compared to the people they surround themselves with?!? Look… this movie actually wasn’t that bad. The plot: Pointless & convoluted. The characters: Dull AF. The motivations: Completely lost, especially when compared to the original. In the original, the trauma of the tornado when they were a kid was the reason & drive behind their chasing tornados… in this one, it’s what keeps them from performing the simplest act in the field that they’ve allegedly dedicated their lives to… and yet everyone around them still puts the crux of their plan based solely on their shoulders to differing results. However, still not a bad movie… just made me want to watch the original for a good movie though. Rating – 7/10 – Very fitting that Paul Scheer showed up at the end & had probably the best moment in the film Have a great long weekend (hopefully) everybody!!! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Well, the sun keeps spinning (or I guess we're spinning & the sun stays stationary... but who knows with today's education system?) and we're still here... day by day... plotting along... but I did get to speak to Captain Power himself (Tim Dunigan) the other day so... that was kinda cool... and occasionally watching movies... November 15 – The Dinosaur Project (2012) This is a found-footage dinosaur expedition movie that I had originally watched a few years ago & remembered liking, so I was wondering if it held up. Basically a famous explorer leads a team into the heart of the Congo to search for Mokele Mbembe, their plane crashes, his teenage son stowed away, hijinx ensue when they find out there are dinosaurs living in this valley or whatever. Yes, the teenage kid who’s our main character is f**king annoying as just about anybody in a found footage movie is. Yes, the ability of the cameras & recording devices are absolutely stunning and put Star Trek technology to shame. Of course any time some real action happens the cameras don’t record it & they might as well have added “Scene Missing – Out of Budget”. However, what did I think of the movie?!? Rating - ???/10 – DINOVEMBER ON EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES!!! Spoilers: It has dinosaurs so… I probably liked it November 17 – The Dogs of War (1980) Election Day here in America is a day that I grow more & more disheartened with the people in my totally a first-world nation… so I prefer to watch movies to pick me up. This year, I randomly picked this movie since it was coming up for a future episode of the podcast. Christopher Walken leads a mercenary team into the African nation of Zangaro to lead a coup & overthrow the evil warlord (though what does that really mean nowadays?). Well… spoilers… I really enjoyed the ending of the movie. Pacing could have used some work & trims here and there… but as for the movie as a whole… Rating - ???/10 – Find out this December when we go “Walken in a Winter Wonderland” November 19 – The Sword & the Sorcerer (1982) I’m not going to lie… I thought I had seen this movie as soon as I saw the main character’s sword (which is THREE blades parallel to each other, which I assume makes it THREE times as heavy & a third as effective) and of course… Richard Lynch was the bad guy… but other than that, I didn’t really recall anything about this Albert Pyun flick… and it’s just about everything you want in a “Sword & Sandals” fantasy flick from the 80’s… including a significant role from friend of the podcast Anthony DeLongis… even with a paper thin plot. Rating – 8/10 – A fun, dumb watch if you’re into the genre of 80’s fantasy flick… which of course I am See you next week! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Day by day we keep soldiering on... and watching movies... that's all I got this week... November 7 – A Sound of Thunder (2005) Based on a Ray Bradbury short story about the not too distant future where a corporation uses time travel to go back on a safari so that rich douches can kill an allosaurus… a few minutes before he would be roasted by a volcano so as not to destroy the delicate balance of time… but of course, hijinx ensue when the crush a butterfly 65 million years ago & time waves change everything instantly (though they somehow remember) and they have to travel back to change it… but they don’t know what happened to take it from a short story to a 95 minute movie. This movie is… not good… like on any level. Sure, Academy Award winner Ben Kingsley gives a few speeches & Ed Burns and a few others are passable but… the special effects are laughably bad even by 90’s standards (and this was mid 2000’s), the plot doesn’t make a whole lot of sense… but you know what? Rating - ???/10 – You can hear ALL about it on Everything I Learned from Movies with our good friends Diana & Ryan from Happily Ever Aftermath!!! November 9 – Metamorphosis (1990) I was searching for dinosaur movies… because I’m afraid that I miss a few… and this came up… and I had NEVER heard of it. So I read the quick synopsis about a young geneticist who turns himself into a T-Rex… okay, I’m SOLD! Let’s see who’s in this thing… okay, no real big names… ooooh but a lot of Italian ones and… wait… WHAT’S THIS?!? Directed by George Eastman?!? Surely that can’t be the same… oh… why yes it is?!? Okay… so there’s an Italian production about a scientist turning himself into a dinosaur… directed by BIG APE FROM 2019: AFTER THE FALL OF NEW YORK!?!?!?! Rating - ???/10 – EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES ON ALL THE MAJOR PODCATCHERS!!! November 11 – The Substance (2024) People had been raving about this movie as the best horror movie of the year… and reading the premise, I saw it as a mix of “The Stuff” & “Catwoman” but I thought that even though it was described to me as a Cronenberg-esque body horror with a message (because Cronenberg usually doesn’t other than “isn’t this gross AND sexy? Your new kink?”) but… okay Demi Moore is (playing) a faded fitness star from the 80’s (who can still f**king get it) but she’s aging out… and producer/manager Dennis Quaid is skeezy as hell… so then she gets a mysterious package for The Substance to help her regain her youth… by basically making a body double (Margaret Qualley) and hijinx ensue when rules aren’t followed. Guys… this movie is not for everybody… but you should watch it as long as you can stomach it. The performances are amazing. There’s plenty of gratuitous nudity… but also body horror… and yeah, you’ll feel things. Rating – 10+/10 – It’s been a long time since I’d give any kind of horror movie a 10+ but… there you have it… November 13 – Trap (2024) You’ve seen the trailer… a man takes his teenage daughter to a pop star’s concert (played by M Night’s daughter) but soon realizes through an employee BEGGING to be fired that… the whole concert is a trap for a serial killer (okay, many questions just off that premise that… really won’t be answered in the movie). Oh, did I mention that man IS the serial killer? Oh okay, cool… let’s go fake concert entrapment! But wait… what if I told you… the concert was only the first half of the movie… and it gets even MORE ridiculous?!? OF COURSE!!! IT’S AN M NIGHT MOVIE!!! That being said… I had a lot of dumb fun watching it. Josh Hartnett is great as a crazy dad serial killer… really all the performances are good… even the weird Uncle of the pop star that shows up for plot reasons (yes, it’s M Night) but yeah… it’s dumb. Rating – 8/10 – So many plot holes but at least more entertaining than I expected Next week you get to find out the movie that I was watching on Election Night... it's a goodie Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
It's gonna be okay... or not... whatever... I spent last night watching a movie where Christopher Walken shoots two Presidents dead & spends time in a jail cell with another... so then back to reality... November 1 – Tank (1984) A retired general (James Garner) owns a tank… because that’s a thing. So when his son (C Thomas Howell) gets imprisoned by a corrupt sheriff in the deeeeeep South, there’s only one thing to do. Load up that tank & go get his boy. Now… I’m all for blasting corrupt authority figures away with advanced weaponry to humble them… but this movie is… let’s just say that it’ll definitely be talked about on the podcast one day. Step by step, you start to kind of question a few things… because everybody in this movie is borderline irredeemable… but goddamn James Garner is charismatic… Rating – 8/10 – It’s dumb fun… and as you know, I like that November 3 – Addams Family Halloween (1977) BIG fan of the Addams family series, movies & whatever TV movie one-offs that I can usually find (still trying to find a decent copy of the Tim Curry-Daryl Hannah one). So when I saw this come up on Tubi, I had to check it out as I was not familiar. So… about 15 years after the original series, this was the pilot episode for a new series… and stars most of the original cast (yes, the kids are in their mid to late 20’s… but fear not, as there are other Wednesday Jr & Pugsley Jr that are in the movie… but never really explained where they came from?) and a few randos as weird Uncles that I assume might take over the series after a year or so… but wow… okay, so then there’s also a group of people trying to replace Gomez & Morticia with actors… while the real ones are hosting a Halloween party… and hijinx ensue… as the Uncle is also trying to bang Morticia… but this is a damn mess… the whole thing is shot on TV stock from the 70’s & not restored… the story makes absolutely no sense… the original actors are great for what they do… but yeah, too many questions & not enough laughs. Almost every joke falls completely flat & then through the floor. Rating – 3/10 – Probably the worst Addams Family thing that I’ve seen to date… but still Addams November 5 – Tropic Thunder (2008) I still can’t believe that Robert Downey jr was nominated for an Academy Award while in blackface… yeah, it’s the movie about making a Vietnam War movie… about a fake story… with a star studded cast & one of the greatest surprise cameos ever… just watch it… Rating – 10+/10 – Still amazing that this movie still makes me laugh so hard… Be strong! We're gonna be okay... call me if you need someone to talk to... Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
YES!!! We made it home safely from Las Vegas... and as usual you can hear all about it on the podcast (Everything I Learned From Movies) and our social media @EILFMovies... but yeah, watching movies has been a little difficult with all the busyness from doing more shows with Izzy to show off her amazing art (@UntidyVenus for details) but here are a few that we could squeeze in... October 20 – Interview with the Vampire (1994) Look… I enjoy this movie. It’s a unique look at the inner turmoil of being a vampire (Brad Pitt) who’s forces to live with his… friend (Tom Cruise) & then they adopt a kid (Kirsten Dunst) which leads to differences in parenting style & ends in divorce (fiery plantation) & then the story continues until the interviewer (Christian Slater) is assaulted. You’ve all seen this movie right? From the director of the Crying Game comes “Confirmed Vampire Bachelors”, beautifully shot, quite memorable in many ways, Antonio Banderas shows up for about four minutes of screentime… check it out… Rating – 8/10 – I’m just not into vampire drama overall though… “Oh no! I’m immortal & moody!” Get over it… 😊 October 23 – Winnie the Pooh: Bloody & Honey II (2024) In the first movie… look, it doesn’t matter. They completely retcon the franchise… because the first one sucked (3% on RT). This one though, at least it’s shot better, the kills are pretty sweet, the story is completely predictable yet also ridiculously dumb… it’s everything you want in a public domain Winnie the Pooh slasher movie, if that’s what you’re looking for. Rating - ???/10 – Find out as we conclude OctoBEAR on Everything I Learned from Movies!!! Or just watch it on Peacock with the kids… October 25 – The Care Bears Movie II: The New Generation (1986) Speaking of retconning a franchise, the 2nd Care Bears movie… IS A PREQUEL!!! Oddly enough… it also has a similar vibe to “Interview with the Vampire” as it’s two “friends” raising a BUNCH of little cubs… but then they have to split them up in separate kingdoms (for some reason) to save them from an evil entity named Darkheart… they grow up (in like a day?) and then there’s a story around some summer camp kids… and Darkheart playing the role of Faust for a bit… yeah, it’s an odd one that I saw a BUNCH as a kid… but what do I think of it as an adult? Rating - ???/10 – OCTOBEAR PATREON EXCLUSIVE at Patreon.com/eilfmovies for just $2 a month!!! October 28 – Renegade (1992-1997) YES!!! The series you remember from USA late night about the framed cop (Lorenzo Lamas & his incredible mullet) riding the badlands (or mostly San Diego… sorry, Bay City) as a bounty hunter and occasionally trying to clear his name for the murder of his fiancé Vanessa… lasted FIVE FULL SEASONS!!! Over a HUNDRED episodes… and we watched them all!!! Quick summary: Season 2 & 3 are probably the best just because the characters are established & there are still ideas… season five is rough as alligator p*ssy… Branscombe Richmond is amazing & needs to be in more things… unlike any of Lorenzo’s various ex-wives who have key roles at times (Kathleen Kinmont was okay though but gone from the last two seasons). The creator of the show (Stephen Cannell) is actually pretty decent as the supervillain of the series Dutch Dixon… and I wonder why he didn’t do more… but hey, he created a bunch of shows & I’m sure he’s doing fine. Rating – ???/10 – Look… the show was dumb & for a while it was going to be an 8-9… but probably ends around a 6 or 7 and it’s just my jam of dumbness October 30 – The Last Dinosaur (1977) A billionaire hunter searching for oil in the Antarctic polar caps with the drill train from “The Core” stumbles upon a jungle heated by a volcano filled with dinosaurs… and hijinx ensue when he definitely doesn’t want to kill a T-Rex but would rather do scientific stuff. This movie is 100x better than “Planet of the Dinosaurs” which came out the same year (and we talked about on the podcast last year) just with being an American-Japanese production… and the dinosaurs are basically Godzilla suits… but yeah, this movie is a real trip… so what did I score it?!? Rating - ???/10 – DINOVEMBER!!! EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES!!! ALL THE MAJOR PODCATCHERS!!! Have you subscribed yet? Joined the Patreon at patreon.com/eilfmovies? Well you should!!! :) Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Just a few hours until the big Vegas trip... but yeah, until then it's only the busiest few months of the year where I work & it wouldn't be so bad if literally anybody knew how to cover for me... or cared to do so... but at least I got to see a few movies... October 11 – The Care Bears Movie (1985) Yes, the first movie about the Care Bear plush toys… where they stumble down from the land of Care-a-Lot in the clouds, meet a few kids, and a magician’s assistant who stumbles upon the Necronomicon, and hijinx ensue when he starts unleashing an evil spirit because he doesn’t want to feel like a loser. Is it cheesy & sappy? Of course. Is it under 80 minutes? You bet ya! Is there a way for me to own a plushie of my favorite character? That’s the point! That being said… seeing the movie as an adult, it kind of delves into some deeper meanings than I remember watching it as a child. What do we mean? Rating - ???/10 – You can hear me & Bobby from the Grindbin talk all about it on EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES!!! October 13 – The Bear (1988) Did I mention that it’s OctoBEAR?!? Well… now for a French film about a cub who is orphaned… but stumbles along & finds an adult male (Bart the Bear) but there are also a few hunters with dogs after them… and hijinx ensue. Now this comes from French director Jean-Jacques Annaud who did some other “minimal dialogue” movies like “Quest for Fire” and the cinematography is beautiful, the animal performances are pretty dang good, human actors are great, but I’ll tell you… it’s not a movie for everybody. There are kinda slow periods… and you have to pay attention which is a death nail nowadays for some movies… but I’d recommend checking it out. I still remembered it from watching it as a kid in the theatres! Rating – 9/10 – Don’t want to watch it? You can still hear about it on the podcast… October 15 – Salem’s Lot (2024) We had seen the original TV event last year… and it was okay… but very 70’s TV with no blood, etc. and seemed really long at parts. Now enter the remake that I think was finished back in 2021 & they’ve been sitting on it for three years? Usually not a great sign… but it’s set in the 70’s as well (kind of has to be with the story) about a man returning to his childhood town looking for answers as to why he left (?) and wouldn’t you know it… vampires! That being said, THIS movie… the 12-year old kid is the main character. Thirty-something writer is just kind of there to bang out a secretary & drive the kid around in later scenes but that’s about it. Also different for this one is… there’s definitely more blood & violence… but it’s borderline cartoony violence (so could be on TV with a few edits) & not super gory just… better creepy cinematography & stuff. The movie is a little slow in the middle & some plot threads just don’t make sense… but the last 20-30 minutes turns into a cartoony violent eruption & I thoroughly enjoyed it, though I know most hardcore gory horror fans will feel disappointed. Rating – 9/10 – I really enjoyed it & feel free to check it out on Max this spooky season VIVAAAAAAAA VIVAAAAAAA LAS VEGAAAAAAAAAAS!!! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Man, things just seem to be getting busier & busier... but at least next week we'll be heading to Las Vegas for the weekend... so that should be nice... until then, catch us this weekend at the Ogden Farmers Market AND Dia de los Muertos Festival all day ON THE SAME BLOCK on 25th Street between Washington & Grant Avenues... and at the Ogden Amphitheatre!!! Oh yeah... movies from this past week... October 3 – Furry Vengeance (2010) OCTOBEAR is in full effect… and this was an often forgotten Disney flick about a family (Brendan Fraser is the dad) who go to the forest to head up a housing development… but then the local animals start using guerilla tactics to get them to leave… and hijinx ensue. Half of Comedy Central is in this movie & it was lowly rated by critics & audience alike.. but… did we like it?!? Rating - ???/10 – FIND OUT NOW ON OUR PODCAST EPISODE OF EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES!!! October 5 – Boy Kills World (2024) This might be the Year of the Vengeance… with Monkey Man, The Crow & now you combine them with Bill Skarsgaard in Boy Kills World. Basically a young boy’s family is killed & then a man takes him into the jungle to teach him to kill the family in charge! The boy grows up to be Bill Skarsgaard… but he’s deaf & mute so his inner monologue is voice by H Jon Benjamin… and this turns into a video game movie real quick with action, intrigue, deception, more action, swearing, violence & action… for nearly two full hours. What did I think? Rating – 10/10 – I really liked it… but yeah, it seems a little long & the twist was predictable but… still, you know what you’re getting into October 7 – The Watchers (2024) M Night Shyamalan’s daughter directs this tale of a young (Irish?) woman (Dakota Fanning) who’s sent a few hundred miles into the Irish countryside to deliver a bird for a pet shop (what?) & once she reaches the deep forest, the car shuts down & she’s in some mysterious haunted woods or something… but then she stumbles upon a few other humans who stay in a structure called The Coop at night because… there’s horrible monsters in them woods… who watch them through a two-way mirror at night. Why? Well, that’s why you have to watch the movie to find out… place your bets on what the twist is going to be. Look… there are a few stretches & weird dialogue moments… but not NEARLY as horrible as with M Night movies, so I’m glad that his daughter either realizes how people actually talk or has a few people around her to help. The atmosphere is eerie & all that… but there are a few plot holes once the twists happen that’re never really answered… so what do I think? Rating – 8/10 – I really liked it… not great… but not bad… worth a watch if it’s your thing October 9 – The Country Bears (2002) OctoBEAR is upon us… so we watched the Disney movie that’s basically Blues Brothers getting the band back together… but with bears by Jim Henson productions! I had seen this back when it first came out & thought it was okay… really only remembered Christopher Walken’s bit part but… how has it aged?!? Rating - ???/10 – That’s right… check out EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES AGAIN!!! SMASH & SUBSCRIBE!!! See you on Saturday!!! Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Yes, I know most of you have started spooky season back on the 5th of July or something but OctoBEAR is here!!! So here are a few movies that I was able to squeeze in... September 27 – Prom Night (1980) Okay so… a masked killer is going around & killing teenagers involved with a deadly event from six years earlier… and… it’s during the days leading up to the prom… let’s face it, you kind of know who the killer is from the start… but there’s Academy Award winner Jamie Lee Curtis doing her thing, the bitchy blonde (who apparently wrote Twisters?), feathery-haired guys because disco is still going… and a few okay kills. If you’re looking for a slasher, you’ve probably already seen it… but if not, might be worth checking out for the strange characters that pop up in it, like Slick with the van… or a woman I’m sure is Michelle Trachtenberg’s mom… Rating – 8/10 – You know what you’re getting into… and Leslie Nielsen is the dad/principal too… just TRY to not quote Naked Gun September 29 – Ladyhawke (1985) Okay, this was a movie that I know I had a VHS growing up… but I don’t remember watching it then… just watching the second movie on the tape “Romancing the Stone” a bunch. Basically there’s a young thief (Matthew Broderick) who escape prison but is saved by the exiled former captain of the guard (Rutger Hauer) who has a hawk friend… but then we find out that at night, the hawk turns into a beautiful woman (Michelle Pfeiffer) while the captain turns into a wolf. They’ve been cursed… and hijinx ensue when they decide that they’re going to try to break the curse… or kill the evil bishop oligarch who rules the kingdom… whichever comes first. Look, it’s your typical medieval fantasy flick… and the performances are okay… even Broderick isn’t TOO annoying (though he’s definitely bordering). The one thing that I always remember standing out about this movie… is the soundtrack by Alan Parsons & its over the top synth techno whatever that just does not fit the story, the plot elements, the setting, anything like that. Normally I don’t even pay attention to that stuff, but it’s JARRING with this movie. Overall though? Rating – 7/10 – It’s okay… the plot is meh… Pfeiffer is hot… everybody does okay… just not much to it overall October 1 – High Spirits (1988) Okay, so an old Scottish castle hotel has fallen into disrepair a bit… so the hotelier (Peter O’Toole) has an idea to sell it as a haunted castle to tourists… so they show up… and one couple having marital problems (Steve Guttenberg & Beverly D’Angelo) meet another couple who happen to be ghosts (Liam Neeson & Daryl Hannah) and hijinx ensue when they start falling for each other… even though half of them are dead… man, this movie was… a weird one. Now, it had funny moments of course but… I don’t know… a lot of the jokes just didn’t hit for me? Maybe I’m not British enough or something, though THIS IS FROM THE DIRECTOR OF THE CRYING GAME, MONA LISA & INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE!!! Rating – 7/10 – Not my bag but… had a few laughs… and Peter O’Toole is great at being over-the-top Until next time, stay spooky my friends... Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Have you ever been so busy that you're wondering how you're able to keep it all together? Yeah, just insanely busy with things all over... but Izzy & MIL are on a family reunion road trip so... BOYS WEEKEND!!! Of course that means just me... and the pets... and half the time I'll be doing a show... and the other half I'll be at work as its basically the busiest few months... so yeah, here are a few movies I saw... September 21 – Creature of Black Lake (1978) Two guys check out the town of Oil City in search of the elusive creature of Black Lake (where I’d question whether the water is livable being Oil City adjacent) and hijinx ensue when they get information from some of the locals… okay, standard Sasquatch movie… with DEAN CUNDEY AS THE DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY (Jurassic Park, Back to the Future, just look him up if you don’t know) but I guess we all have to start somewhere. This movie seemed on the gore level of a TV movie… but more fun than most. The two guys were at least weird & having a little fun… Rating – 8/10 – If you’re going to show somebody a Sasquatch movie without gore… this may be the one September 23 – The Wickedest Witch (1989) So apparently this 30-minute TV special aired once & was instantly forgotten… until Izzy was reminded about it. Basically Golden Girl Rue McClanahan plays a witch that has been banished to an underground world that’s like a spoopy version of Fraggle Rock… with these puppet demon creature the Greevils… and after 600 years or whatever, she realizes that to escape all she needs to do is convince an innocent child to do one despicable deed… and hijinx ens… okay, not really, it’s only 30 minutes & spoilers, she ends up still trapped playing bingo with cloth demons. This one was… somehow even kinda boring in a 30-minute format… but hey, I like just about anything with puppets & Burgess Meredith recorded his narration in about 7 minutes I assume… Rating – 5/10 – It’s on YouTube if you want to check it out… but please don’t spend any money on it September 25 – Snowbeast (1977) Jaws but at a ski resort… that’s basically the movie. It’s the Winter Festival… but random blondes are being killed in the woods by a mysterious creature (definitely not a sasquatch) & hijinx ensue when a fearsome foursome of heroes featuring a former Olympic skier (Bo Svenson), his reporter wife, the sheriff & the resort’s GM are sent out after the snowy beast. So… this was a TV movie in the late 70’s and you can tell watching it… but is it the worst thing ever? Rating – 6/10 – Not really… it’s just kind of meh… and there’s no violence so horror fans will be mad… and no plot so movie purists will be too That's about all I got this week... so until next time, true believers!!! Steve |
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
May 2024
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