Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
It’s November!!! So on that note, here’s how the fourth week of that has gone thus far…
Nov 19 – Santa’s Little Helper (2015)
This isn’t the first Christmas movie starring a wrestler that we’ve done on the podcast… nor the second… but this one features The Miz as a douchy businessman who gets fired & for some reason Santa Claus thinks he’ll be a great assistant for him? So hijinx ensue… honestly the only thing that I really liked about it was The Miz, I just find him charismatic as hell… but this is basically a silly Hallmark movie brought to you by WWE Studios… what do you expect?
Rating – 8/10 – It was better than I thought, but I was expecting a sh*t show
Nov 20 – True Crime (1995)
We then watched a movie that I had heard about on What Were They Thinking? Podcast, and we thought… why not? It’s about a teenage girl (Alicia Silverstone) obsessed with true crime magazines & cop stuff who partners up with a rookie cop who’s also creepily stupid (Kevin Dillon) and they go on using their white privelidge and breaking the law to find a potential serial killer in their neighborhood connected to the carnival. Yeah, that’s it. The movie is not great… but watch it with friends & keep in mind that she’s supposed to be a high school student and things get REALLY awkward.
Rating – 7/10 – It might also be listed as “Dangerous Kiss” but it’s free on Amazon Prime if this sounds up your alley
Nov 21 – Don’t Breathe 2 (2021)
I’ll admit… I was curious as f**k how they were going to try to get me to give a sh*t about Stephan Lang’s character from the first movie when he came back for the sequel. I won’t go into depth in case you wanted to watch it but… he’s the villain. Full stop. In this one, they attempt to make him a fatherly figure… but it doesn’t really work. That being said though, the movie is brutal, fairly predictable, and what you’re looking for if you’re looking for a sequel to this kind of movie. Fun fact: Fisher Stevens is an executive producer. Who knew?
Rating – 7/10 – Mildly enjoyable but… I wanted everyone to die… and almost got my wish
Nov 22 – Christmas Chronicles (2019)
We also did this for an upcoming episode during our Santa Month & I was really excited about this one since it stars everybody's favorite great wholesome actor Kurt Russell as Santa Claus!!! You'll have to listen to the episode to find out how Izzy, Michael Bagford & I felt about it though.
Rating - ???/10 - That's Everything I Learned From Movies on ALL your favorite podcatchers!!!
Nov 23 – Repo Man (1984)
This movie was added to my Netflix queue... and for the life of me I cannot remember why. I feel like it was recommended by somebody... or maybe it came up when we were watching "Highway to Hell" or something as a suggestion... but it was delivered. This movie is about 18-year-old Otto (played by Emilio Estevez who always looked like he's in his mid-thirties from 1984-2004) who's basically a punk kid... but gets into the crazy world of repo men... in a town where I couldn't tell if it was supposed to be Los Angeles or a small town in New Mexico that also happened to have LA skyscrapers... and there's a government cover-up regarding space aliens... or nuclear fallout... or both... and there's a 1964 Chevy Malibu that's at the center of it... and its trunk vaporizes anybody who opens it... it's a crazy flick... and it's 98% on Rotten Tomatoes... but wow, it's... really pointless at all times. However, you honestly don't know what's going to happen.
Rating - 7/10 - This didn't tickle me... but I can see some merit in it... and maybe a second watch would help?
Nov 24 – Stop Me Before I Kill! (1960)
Continuing through that Hammer Collection, and this one is about a racecar driver who's involved in a major car accident... and in the aftermath, he has a tendency to want to choke his beautiful French (?) wife whenever they get close & intimate. Well, he's a little shell-shocked from the accident, but is refusing to talk to anybody or get help about this whole "choking out his wife" thing except his understanding wife. Well, one night on a second honeymoon, they meet this psychiatrist who tries to help... and basically the next 45 minutes is a bunch of male resistance to mental health options... and then hijinx ensue. The acting is pretty great, though the wife's accent is... grating... and there were a bunch of times that I don't know if French was mixed in or just the overpowering accents but I was like "What? Yeah, whatever they said it didn't lead to anything so... moving on?"
Rating - 9/10 - I really liked this one... and I called the ending act about 20 minutes in... but I recommend it!
Nov 25 – Shang Chi & the Ten Rings (2021)
Alright, we finally watched the Marvel Arts movie (see what I did there?) Shang Chi & the Ten Rings! The cast was tremendous from what I knew because it had Tony Leung, Michelle Yeoh & the guy that played Drago jr in Creed II so… I’m psyched! Guys, go watch this movie if you haven’t already! The plot is… I mean, it’s a comic book movie mixed in with Chinese mysticism & legend so take it with a grain of salt… but luckily the comedy throughout keeps it from being too completely over the top… and then you realize that it’s completely over the top… and in all the best ways! EVEN BEN KINGSLEY IS GOOD IN IT!!! FINALLY!!! I feel like it has been decades since I could say that!
Rating – 10/10 – Damn near a 10+ but a solid action movie with great moments of levity
Happy Thanksgiving since I missed it yesterday... and in case I forget later, Merry Christmas everyone!!!
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Continuing on from last post…
Nov 12 – The Believers (1987)
A New York psychiatrist (Martin Sheen) helps out on a police case that involves a brujeria-inspired cult (voodoo?) and finds out… they’re interested in his son! Now… this movie starts off… with a pretty harrowing Final Destination-esque scene of the wife/mother being electrocuted by a coffee maker & milk that seems ridiculous… but is pretty effective in terror. The rest of the movie does have slow parts… but it’s basically a Rosemary’s Baby involving Santeria… and I liked it!
Rating – 8/10 – Not sure what I was expecting… but it exceeded those expectations
Nov 13 – Santa Claus the Movie (1985)
For more on this one, check out our early December episode of Everything I Learned From Movies where Diana from Happily Ever Aftermath joins us to talk about this classic Saturday morning matinee from my childhood starring David Huddleston as Santa, John Lithgow as evil businessman, Dudley Moore as Patch/Arthur & Burgess Meredith as Ancient Elf for a day of shooting! It’s the Santa origin story!
Rating - ???/10 – Listen to the podcast (ageofradio.org/everythingilearnedfrommovies)
Nov 14 – Come Away (2020)
This was our Patreon Exclusive for the month of November, and it’s a movie that I heard NOTHING about until I was researching Peter Pan movies… only to find it was the OTHER one that came out in 2020… and kinda mixed Peter Pan with Alice in Wonderland and a family drama about making ship replicas or something? It stars Angelina Jolie & David Olewoyo among others… and we did a great episode talking about it but… not the best Peter Pan movie of 2020. The actors involved were good but… it just didn’t move the needle for me. Felt like nothing happened the entire movie…
Rating – 6/10 – I was pretty bored through most of it…
Nov 15 – Dog Eat Dog (2016)
I had seen this before, I think when I was recovering from Gall Bladder Surgery because I only remembered a few things… but it’s Nicolas Cage & Willem Dafoe in a movie so obviously Izzy wanted to see it. The story is about three felons (Christopher Matthew Cook is the 3rd & holds his own for the most part) who are complete a-holes who should be locked up forever doing “one last job” and hijinx ensue. This could have been a LOT funner than it was… but it’s directed by Paul Schrader so it seems like a Scorsese-knock off… and there are interesting parts but overall, I was scratching my head at everything from motivations to plot threads.
Rating – 6/10 – I still love everything Nicolas Cage does!
Nov 16 – Snake Eyes: GI Joe Origins (2021)
Really excited when this & Shang Chi came out in theaters because I love my martial arts movies & these being big budget superhero flicks (let’s be real). Both were exclusive in theatres though so I had to wait 3-4 months for them to show up on my doorstep and/or on Disney+. The RT ratings though… have this one as 30% with critics & 78% with audience where Shang Chi is in the high 90s for both… but this is Snake Eyes & GI Joe… and I even enjoyed the two previous attempts at GI Joe movies so… this one is the origin story… of a ninja warrior who doesn’t talk… so obviously you get Henry Golding from “Crazy Rich Asians” to portray him where they talk A LOT… and I still enjoyed the hell out of it! Oddly enough, the weakest part of this movie… was Samara Weaving?!? I blame the character that she had to portray but she just didn’t seem to give a f**k.
Rating – 9/10 – This is exactly what I wanted & more… can’t wait for the sequel that will never come… as is tradition
Nov 17 – Bad Blood (1988)
We were graced with an invite to the Penultimate Blairvember Episode on the Grindbin Podcast… and it was this movie that we were only able to find on YouTube starring Linda Blair called “Bad Blood”. There are several movies with that title… but I had never heard of this movie or knew anything about it going in other than the IMDb synposis… and then I saw that the two people listed above Linda Blair were Georgina Spelvin (hooker from Police Academy & porn actress) and Randy Spears (over 1200 credits in pornographic films) and… guys, this movie gets crazy from start to finish. You can watch it on YouTube or hear all about it on a recent Grindbin Episode. I recommend both.
Rating – 9/10 – This movie was cuckoo bananas and I loved it!!!
Nov 18 – Demolition Man (1993)
For our podcast, about four years ago we recorded an incredible 3+ hour episode for this movie with our friends Clarissa & Andrew… and when I went to edit the episode a week later, the data was GONE!!! There was still the audacity file… but no sound as part of it. I triple checked before closing it all out… but just… gone! Now, we’ve met up in the same room again when they came to visit… and we recorded the episode again… and it’s even better!!!
Rating – 10+/10 – This movie is perfection!!! Even when Simon Phoenix makes racist remarks to the only children in the movie…
THANKSGIVING!!! Tell someone you love them!!!
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
It’s November... aka October 2!!! You know what that means… Izzy goes a little crazy with decoration for the house so that two humans, three cats & a sh*t ton of rats, ladybugs and box elder bugs can see them because we’re socially distanced (and nobody wants to come visit anyway). We’ve also decided that we’re going to try to watch 31 horror movies in the month… though we’re not restricting ourselves to new horror movies like other people out there. Izzy’s not a fan of gore and… we just watch a bunch of movies already. No time to waste on crap unless it’s something we wanted to watch for a long time… or rewatch. So on that note, here’s the next week of that has gone thus far…
Nov 5 – Muppets Haunted Mansion (2021)
We were checking out Disney+ to see if a new release was ready for us… and we found this 45 minute show featuring the Muppets! We love the Muppets! A few years ago I had taken Izzy to Disneyland for the first time since the early 90s & the first attraction we went to was The Haunted Mansion. Will Arnett & other stars pop in. This was made for us! Basically Gonzo & Pepe (the king prawn) get invited to the Mansion on Haunted Hill party… Will Arnett is hosting… and hijinx ensue! Were there a lot of Muppets? Of course! Did any of them really do anything other than say they were doing a cameo? Not really. Was there music? Of course! It’s an episode of the Muppet Show.
Rating – 8/10 – Nothing really memorable, but dammit I like the Muppets in general.
Nov 6 – Hider in the House (1989)
Again flipping through Amazon and what they recommend based on my viewing history and… Gary Busey is a psychopath who lives in the walls of a new house owned by Michael McKean & Mimi Rogers?!? How have I not already seen this?!? Yes, it’s fairly predictable and Busey plays a good crazy… and Mimi Rogers is quite fetching… and the kids aren’t even that annoying. If the synopsis intrigues you, I’d say check it out!
Rating – 8/10 – You get what you paid for… Prime Busey… and even Jake playing young Busey
Nov 7 – Split Second (1992)
I had seen this movie poster as a kid & it totally looked like a mix of Alien & Blade Runner… and it kinda was!!! In the distant future of 2008, the climate is out of control & London is basically flooded. Only loose cannon detective Harley Stone (Rutger Hauer) and his surprisingly quirky new partner (some British guy who voices Alfred in Batman cartoons now) can track down a serial killer who has returned after seven years… and killed Harley’s old partner. Well, throw in Kim Cattrall in a bad wig for some reason & the serial killer is some sort of alien and BOOM! You’ve got yourself a movie… by the way, the first movie written by Gary Scott Thompson of “Fast & Furious” fame.
Rating – 9/10 – Dripping with 80’s action funk that I love… just a few years too late to be appreciated at the time
Nov 8 – Highway to Hell (1991)
A man & woman are headed to Vegas to get married (Rob Lowe’s little brother Chad & Kristy Swanson) when they’re pulled over & some giant HellCop snags the woman and heads off into the desert… well, okay, it ends up being in Hell!!! Had I known this movie existed, we probably would’ve covered it back in March during our Devil Month as we get the Devil portrayed by Patrick Bergin (“Robin Hood” & “Lawnmower Man 2: Jobe’s War”) and it’s just a crazy from the director of “Drop Dead Fred” and the writer of “Assassins” & “LA Confidential” among others.
Rating – 9/10 – Goofy fun… and Chad is no Rob… but serious “Cherry 2000” vibes and I love it!!!
Nov 9 – Warlock (1989)
An evil warlock (Julian Sands) travels through time from the Salem witch trials to the late 1980s and is pursued by a witch-hunter (Richard E. Grant) with a dopey blonde involved. From the director of “Friday the 13th 2” & “Halloween H20” and the writer of “The Fugitive” & “GI Jane” comes a pretty campy guilty pleasure movie. The effects are decent at parts… and then comical at others… but Sands & Grant do a great job and this was pretty entertaining.
Rating – 8/10 – Not the best but certainly not the worst
Nov 10 – Trilogy of Terror (1975)
This is basically the Karen Black show with three weird, twisted horror tales from the mid-70s brought to life by the macabre director Dan Curtis (“Dracula” 1972 with Jack Palance). The story that everybody remembers is the one with the Zulu fetish doll or whatever that’s 80% teeth and stabby weapons… but the other two stories dip into things like feminine power (or lack thereof) in the 70s and just some weird things to have in a modern day horror flick. Obviously this was back in the 70s though so that makes sense I guess.
Rating – 9/10 – Definitely worth a watch if you’re into classic horror movies… but you also feel the low budget aspect of it at points
Nov 11 – Route 666 (2001)
Federal agents Lou Diamond Phillips & Lori Petty are in hot pursuit of a witness on the run in the Arizona desert… and being pursued by Russian hitmen (led by our favorite SVEN OLE THORSEN!!!) so they have to take an abandoned road to escape (for some reason). This leads them into a mysterious stretch of road where… ghosts basically show up and kill all who enter!!! This one is… a little out there plot wise but… still a lot of fun. LDP & Steven Williams who plays the witness are great… it’s early 2000s headsplosions and all that… definitely straight-to-DVD though.
Rating – 8/10 – I thoroughly enjoyed it but… it did drag at some points… and you know, stupid people in horror movies
Well, that'll do for another week... but we've got some dandies coming next week, so prepare your loins!!!
This is how I end the post,
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
It’s October... well, I guess November now!!! You know what that means… Izzy goes a little crazy with decoration for the house so that two humans, three cats & a sh*t ton of rats, ladybugs and box elder bugs can see them because we’re socially distanced (and nobody wants to come visit anyway). We’ve also decided that we’re going to try to watch 31 horror movies in the month… though we’re not restricting ourselves to new horror movies like other people out there. Izzy’s not a fan of gore and… we just watch a bunch of movies already. No time to waste on crap unless it’s something we wanted to watch for a long time… or rewatch. So on that note, here’s how the next week of that has gone thus far…
Oct 29 – Ghost Ship (2002)
So we were on a lovely road trip through Grand Teton National Park, Yellowstone & Lava Hot Springs (that Izzy will tell you more about in great detail on her blog) when one night we were flipping through the channels… and found this movie which I hadn’t seen in forever & only remembered one thing… a taught cable cutting through HUNDREDS of people. Yes, it’s one of those early 2000’s masterpieces from director Steve Miner and starring… a lot of people that I didn’t know at the time but look at them now… like Emily Browning & Karl Urban in smaller roles, along with Marianna Margolies, Isaiah Washington, Gabriel Byrne & others. Anyway, it’s about a ship salvage team who get wind of a cruiseship that was thought to have been lost decades ago, but suddenly pops up near them… and it’s their one last big job. You know how this goes, right? Hijinx ensue…
Rating – 8/10 – Yes, stupid decisions are made & the effects do NOT hold up… but it’s dumb fun if that’s what you’re looking for.
Oct 30 – The Brain (1988)
Speaking of dumb fun, I had never heard of this movie before it was recommended to me by Amazon Prime… which probably tells you about my viewing habits more than anything else… but it’s an 80’s horror movie about an evil scientist (David Gale from “Re-Animator”) who is brainwashing audiences on public TV with the help of an alien organism that looks like a brain… until it feeds and grows and has like the face of a Critter as well. Well, of course the only person that can save us is a local teenager who the alien doesn’t seem to affect… and hijinx ensue.
Rating 8/10 – Great campy 80’s horror fun… and you really don’t know what’s going to happen next.
Oct 31 – Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (1982)
It’s Halloween… so we had to watch the best one! That’s right… drunk doctor Tom Atkins takes some time off from his job & family to go investigate why some dude set himself on fire & exploded in a car after defacing (like removing the face of) some raving lunatic at his hospital… oh & investigate with the defaced dude’s possibly teenage daughter involving a road trip to Santa Mira, a fake town where they make popular Halloween masks, sticky toilet paper & hilarious dead dwarf gags. That being said… I love this f**king movie! Obviously super inspired by John Carpenter, though directly by buddy Tommy Lee Wallace, and the jingle can wear on you… but the craziness & how preposturious it gets hits me in the sweet spot every time.
Rating – 10/10 – Mandatory Halloween viewing
Nov 1 – The Green Knight (2021)
Keeping it going into November, we finally got a glance at the new release Arthurian tale that oddly enough came out during our King Arthur Month… but we weren’t heading to theatres to watch it. Honestly, I’m really f**king glad we didn’t. Everybody that I’ve heard talk about this movie was either “It’s the greatest movie this year” or “It’s stupid sh*t & I was bored” which always gives me “Midsommar” vibes… and I can’t f**king stand Midsommar. Wicker Man (2006) did it better and everybody hated it (except the cool cats). Anyway, this movie is about the young knight Gawain (or Garwin as they say in the movie, played by Dev Patel by the way) and there’s some ridiculous scene about a Green Knight (made out of wood) challenging Arthur & his knights in a friendly “game” of “if you strike me in battle, then you get my power & wealth for a year… but then I’m going to come back & kill you” so Gawain accepts, decapitates the Green Knight, GK picks his head back up & walks away with a wink like “enjoy your last 365 days, G” and then we skip to a week or two before and… I don’t know, drama? Alicia Vikander plays a duel role being sexy as hell… but yeah, I must just not get it… and I’m okay with that.
Rating – 4/10 – Not a fan… boring… Alicia Vikander’s hot.
Nov 2 – Carnosaur 2 (1995)
To wash the Green Knight off my palette, I then decided to watch a movie where my expectations were trash fire… and that’s the sequel to a Roger Corman killer dino movie in “Carnosaur 2” starring John Savage, Don Stroud & Miguel A. Nunez jr. Yup, star studded! Okay, so a team of scientists go to this mining facility where there’s a possible nuclear meltdown & nobody’s answering the phone… and surprise, there’s a bunch of cloned dinosaurs! Do I love cheesy dinosaur movies? OF COURSE! Were the costumes & special effects pretty laughable? Actually not too bad for what I assume is a budget of less than a half-mill. Was it weird that the raptors basically punched people to death until they exploded with blood? Sure… but man did I enjoy this.
Rating – 7/10 – Not the best but definitely not the worst… plus dinosaurs!
Nov 3 – Die! Die! My Darling! (1965)
Another from the Hammer collection that we’ve been going through (I think we’re halfway) and it’s about a young widow who goes to live with her mother-in-law at her estate… and then mother starts going super holy on her because she blames the widow for her son’s death… and then it basically becomes her & her servants locking her into the house, starving her & going all Mother Superior on her. As a naturally violent person born in the age of cell phones & everybody watching, it was difficult for me to not just… I don’t know, push my mother-in-law down the stairs and walk out or something… but it was… okay at setting the stage of suspense.
Rating – 7/10 – Not my favorite from the collection but worth a watch. Premise has been done better.
Nov 4 – Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2 ()
Speaking of Mother Superior, I had only heard legend of this movie from other podcasts like What Were They Thinking and spoilers… in December, we’re talking about Santa Claus movies… so I was able to shoehorn this one in on that theme… and Drew from the Reel Feels Podcast is joining us… so it was time to watch it in preparation for a busy holiday season. Okay… why start with Part 2? Because the movie starts off in a psych ward where Ricky, the brother of the killer from the first movie, is talking to a shrink… and basically doing a 45-minute condensed version of the first movie & its incredible slasher kills in flashbacks… so done & saved two hours. Then it starts going into the real Part 2 where… spoiler alert, Ricky talks about his life and indescretions, breaks out & goes on a killing spree. The kills? Great, especially on a budget… and oddly enough, filmed in my homestate of Utah. Check it out!
Rating – 8/10 – GARBAGE DAY!!!
Tune in next week for some super fun updates on this stuff!
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing