Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Doing a double session this time because... we're going to Bockfest in Cincinatti this week, so we're going to meet up with the History of Bad Ideas crew & Michael Bagford for some great food, DRINKS & more drinks... and also get to know the history of the city even more. It's going to be hella fun... check out the podcast for more details. We're going to try to interview the Sausage Queen...

February 24 – Pepsi, Where’s My Jet (2022)
 
This is a Netflix documentary about the kid who sued Pepsi to get a Harrier Jet using Pepsi Points based on a commercial ran in the 90s with NO SMALLPRINT LEGAL MESSAGE & the 20-year legal battle that followed. It was really interesting to see how young ambitious kids with their ambitious friends going up against a corporate juggernaut that’s obviously in the wrong… and then things get weird a few years in when Michael Avenatti (yes, THAT Michael Avenatti) gets called in to “help” with the situation. Very interesting look at the legal system & how it’s a corporation. I mean… right? Everybody knows that, right?

Rating – 9/10 – If you like these kind of documentaries, this is a fun one.
 
February 25 – Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)
 
Yup, I finally watched the long anticipated sequel to my favorite Marvel movie… and it was great as advertised. Though I didn’t quite get the same feelings as watching the first one in the Oakland area five years ago… this one had different feels after the passing of Chadwick Boseman. The story is basically Wakanda going against the Na’vi from Avatar but their leader isn’t a giant blue fish-cat creature, but rather a Latin guy with wings on his feet… and all while the people (mainly the ladies) of Wakanda are dealing with loss in completely (sarcastic) logical ways but… it’s pretty deep stuff for essentially a ridiculous kids movie.
 
Rating – 10/10 – Not quite 10+ but… let’s face it… it’s because they’re fighting the Na’vi due to poor communication skills
 
February 26 – Search for the Beast (1997)
 
Okay, this one is about a scientist going into the Oskaloosa wilderness to find Bigfoot & hijinx ensue. This movie is one of those were everybody who works in it has worked in only this… except for the exotic dancer who was bearing T&A in a few scenes… you know, because it was the mid-90’s… she’d been in a few things… showing T&A. It also takes some weird turns towards the end. The video quality is that of any home camcorder in the mid-90s as well as the Microsoft Paint special effects.
 
Rating – 7/10 – Drunk watch with friends… horrible acting abound… but also like watching the movie your friends made when they were high that one time…
 
February 27 – Mausoleum (1983)
 
This one was recommended on Tubi… and it starts out with a 10 year old girl at her mother’s funeral… and she’s obviously distraught… so she runs into this mausoleum & is possessed by a demon. We then cut to 20 years later… and the demon finally takes over… and this voluptuous woman starts killing people in some pretty fantastic ways. There’s also a great quick performance by LaWanda Page as the nanny & honestly, I really dug the lead actress’ performance (Bobbie Bresee) and when you combine it with pretty bad but effective effects, I recommend this movie if you’re into cheesy demon possession movies like “Demon Wind” and others from the 80’s.
 
Rating – 9/10 – I’d love to talk about this one with other film nerds
 
February 28 – The Church (1989)
 
THEN Tubi told me about this Dario Argento movie (well, he wrote but… it’s of the same ilk) about a 12th century church built on a mass grave of demonic possessions… and through, I don’t know, digging a basement for the church or something, they unleash an evil upon the world… but it really doesn’t surface until there’s a school field trip there… and hijinx ensue! Again, a great cheesy 80’s horror flick if ever there was one… and a preteen Asia Argento in a key role (basically as Natalie Portman from “Leon The Professional”).
 
Rating – 9/10 – I’ve love to talk about this one with other film nerds too
 
March 1 – The Legend of Bigfoot (1975)
 
I mentioned before that we were on a Bigfoot kick… and this was a mockumentary made in the mid-70s about a man (Ivan Marx) going in search of the missing link. It’s oddly kind of a precursor to found footage movies (though the bigfoot is just a guy in a big black furry suit obviously) and there’s other things that happen along the way… but what’s most striking about this movie isn’t the constant narration (which gets pretty ridiculous but fits the 70s environmental things from school idea) but some of the shots & editing are pretty great. Then I saw who did it… and it’s Harry Winer who would later do flicks like “Space Camp” and a LOT of TV over the years.
 
Rating – 6/10 – Can’t really recommend as I almost fell asleep a few times to soothing tones & zero plot but… if you’re on a kick, go for it.
 
March 2 – M3GAN (2022)
 
As a kid, I loved the stupid show “Small Wonder” that lasted FOUR seasons… and watching it in hindsight, the show was absolutely terrible. I was 5-7 years old though so what the hell did I know? Basically that was about an engineer who secretly made an android to look like a little girl… took it home to test out with his own family… and hilarious 80’s sitcom hijinx ensue complete with laugh tracks. A few years ago I commented on The Grindbin Podcast that the entire show needed to be redone as a horror movie. Ladies & gentlemen, Hollywood was listening… and this is the result. Let’s see… a female engineer (Alison Williams) was secretly working on an AI android, got caught, so she decided to take it home… to test out on her niece who she just got custody of after her parents died (on screen by the way). Hijinx ensue… and it was fun, freaky, and everything you could ever want in a horror movie.
 
Rating – 10/10 – I absolutely loved this movie
 
March 3 – Invincible (2006)
 
I had never actually seen this movie until now… and it seems like it’d be right up my alley. Mark Wahlberg plays the real life Vince Papali, who tried out for the Philadelphia Eagles (my favorite team since 1987) in 1975 during an open tryout… and makes it onto the team with help from new head coach Dick Vermeil (Greg Kinnear). Is it completely based in fact? Of course not, it’s a Disney flick. Does it hit all the sports movie tropes? Absolutely.
 
Rating – 8/10 – I still really enjoyed it… though some character choices are questionable… but whatever
 
March 4 – Four Brothers (2005)
 
I remember really liking this movie when it came out… John Singleton directed, odd mix of “brothers” raised by a sweet old lady who’s murdered in the opening scene & then vengeance hijinx ensue! Great flick, right? People being threatened with gasoline, straps being pulled in the middle of basketball games that have little or nothing to do with the manhunt, the ancient ruins of Detroit, quipy dialogue of the uber-hetero nature… all stuff you want in 2005 when you’re 24 at the time. That being said, a LOT of questionable things pop up too (yes, I know the earlier stuff is super questionable, that’s why we’re talking about it on the podcast) especially with regards to female roles, vigilante justice & dirty cops. Probably the real MVP of this movie though… despite being almost a cameo… is Chiwetel Ejiafor as the bad guy Victor Sweet. This is a Globe-level thespian doing his best over-the-top gangster… and I’m all here for it.
 
Rating – 8/10 – If you like stupid action flicks (with little action) starring a mid-2000’s supergroup of Marky Mark, Tyrese & Andre 3000, check it out!
 
March 5 – Midnight Ride (1990)
 
Okay, a housewife has just left her arrogant & abusive cop husband (Michael Dudikoff) in the middle of the night… and when he finds out, he’s going to set her straight. Well, the joke’s on her as she picks up a hitchhiker (Mark Hamill) who ends up being a psychiatric patient serial killer… and hijinx ensue! I’m not going to lie… this kick started a dive into Mark Hamill’s early 90’s filmography that I had no idea about… and this movie was actually a lot of nutso crazy fun.
 
Rating – 9/10 – I can’t wait to talk about this movie at length on a podcast.
 
March 6 – Time Runner (1993)
 
In this next one, Mark Hamill is an astronaut from 2022 who accidentally goes through a wormhole & back in time 30 years to stop an alien invasion… and gets some help from Rae Dawn Chong… and a newfound ability to see flashes of his future? Look, the movie is nutso crazy from a plot standpoint… and really doesn’t let up at any point… but yeah, enjoyable nutso fun.
 
Rating – 9/10 – How did I not hear about these kinds of movies starring Mark Hamill?
 
March 7 – The Beyond (1981)
 
This is a Lucio Fulci movie (so Italian Giallo horror genre) about a woman inheriting an old Louisiana hotel (brothel?) with a terrible secret… it’s built on a portal to HELL!!! Oh, and hijinx ensue. The movie has a genuinely creepy aura about it… even with some fairly ridiculous characters & situations thrown in… it’s actually very similar to “The Church” which we watched a few weeks ago… but with slightly more body horror gore… but gee, did I enjoy it?
 
Rating – 8/10 – Yup, it was pretty good… may have to check out more of this Fulci
 
March 8 – The Meteor Man (1993)
 
I hadn’t seen this movie since it first came out on VHS 30 years ago… but I remembered liking it as a kid. Starring basically every African-American actor from the 80’s & 90’s it’s about a man who gets hit by a meteor giving him superpowers… and now he’s going to clean up the neighborhood… well, surprisingly reluctantly… in fact, the neighborhood basically pressures him into doing it. Hijinx ensue. I’ve wondered for the longest time why this movie wasn’t more of a thing & readily available on streaming services since it’s a groundbreaking African-American superhero movie (like Spawn, Steel, Abar, etc.) but then… I remembered that Bill Cosby has a cameo (don’t even think he has a line) where he’s a homeless man who also gets a piece of the meteor… with the power of green enabling him to do some seedy things… and kind of is a hero at the end… so yeah, that doesn’t age well though I think he financed a large part of this movie.
 
Rating – 9/10 – A must see for any fan of black superheroes!
 
March 9 – RocketMan (1997)
 
This Disney-produced Harland Williams vehicle is one of my favorites from my teen years. Basically a computer programmer (Williams) stumbles his way into the 3rd (or 4th) seat on a Mars mission with NASA with Captain William Sadler, 2nd in command hot brunette & a chimpanzee. Hijinx ensue. Obviously it’s an absolutely absurd comedy… but damn it, I like it. Watching it this time there are a few moments where I was like “Wait, this was Disney with that joke?” but yeah, definitely recommend.
 
Rating – 9/10 – The “It Wasn’t Me” catchphrase has always wore on me a bit keeping this from a 10

So yeah, that'll do it for now... but I'll be back before you know it!

​Steve

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Another week, another bag of movies... but yeah, we've got our trip coming up next week so you might get a double batch of movies...

February 17 – Radical Jack (2000)
 
This is a Road House rip-off starring country star father Billy Ray Cyrus (only about 8 years after he was a thing) and of course… we watched the Rifftrax version. Michelle’s sister Dedee Pfeiffer shows up & she’s fairly easy on the eyes… George “Buck” Flowers is the bad guy in probably the only non-homeless man role I’ve seen him in… but yeah, bad fights, silly explosions, hijinx.
 
Rating – 7/10 – Definitely watch the Rifftrax version if you must…
 
February 18 – Debbie Does Dallas II (1981)
 
Brent from the Home Video Hustle picked this one for his Love on Film Month pick and… okay, I don’t know what it is with pornography in the 70s & 80s but holy crap this is some misogynist crap… through & through. The whole industry, I mean. Basically it’s the story of a teenage cheerleader who didn’t become a Cowboys cheerleader in the original… so now she’s going to her aunt’s ranch to do some chorin’… but apparently her ranch is a brothel… and hijinx ensue. Ron Jeremy shows up as the coach who wants to shut it down… before he tests out the goods and… man, it gets rough towards the end.
 
Rating – 5/10 – I’ve seen worse… and Barbi Woods tries to be upbeat but… yeah…
 
February 19 – The Capture of Bigfoot (1979)
 
There’s a series of murders happening in a small mountain town and the police have only one potential suspect… … … Bigfoot… or the legendary creature Arak specifically. George “Buck” Flowers shows up in this one too. It’s not the greatest movie by any means but… I had a few laughs with it.
 
Rating – 7/10 – As you’ll see, we got on a bigfoot kick… prepare yourself.
 
February 20 – Shriek of the Mutilated (1974)
 
We had seen this movie before for an episode of The Grindbin Podcast but… now we’ve seen a DVD quality version (before it was a VHS rip on YouTube I think) and I would highly recommend that way. Basically it’s the story of a school field trip going to an island to hunt a sasquatch… but then they find out there are ulterior motives. Then again, the first few minutes (probably the best part of the movie) is a man having a nervous breakdown at the party SCREAMING that the last field trip ended in EVERYBODY DYING!!! THEN he dies in one of the most hilarious ways ever!!! Honestly, I kinda like this dumb movie. The performances aren’t great (the lead guy is laughably bad) but the first few minutes & the last few minutes make up for the slow middle.
 
Rating – 8/10 – Izzy’s talking about her Wild Card Month in June being about sasquatch movies… so we’ll see.
 
February 21 – Sister, Sister (1987)
 
This movie was recommended by Brent of HVH too… and I hadn’t heard of it. Basically there are two sisters (Judith Ivey & Jennifer Jason Leigh) who live in an inherited mansion in Louisiana that they rent out as a B&B. One day, a young visitor (Eric Stoltz) shows up & has the hots for JJL… but she’s also a little autistic or something (they say mentally unstable from their parents’ death but… yeah). Well, Stoltz is throwing around some serious James Spader energy so obviously… hijinx ensue in the boudoir… and then elsewhere. I don’t want to say more but… this movie was a trip & I really enjoyed it.
 
Rating – 10/10 – If you’re into psychological thrillers & twisty nonsense, you’ve got to check this one out. I think it was on Tubi
 
February 22 – Terror at Tenkiller (1986)
 
Some young ladies go to a remote cabin in the woods on a lake and… hijinx ensue. This is one of those movies where everybody that starred, directed, anything with this movie… that was it. They were in nothing else… and you can tell from the bad acting & ridiculousness. EXCEPT the bad guy Tor where this was his first real thing (still rough) and then he’d be in over 100 different shows & movies!!!
 
Rating – 6/10 – Lots of nothing between ridiculous somethings… check out the Rifftrax version if you can.
 
February 23 – Quest of the Delta Knights (1993)
 
This is a low budget swords & sandals movie with David Warner in multiple roles, but most importantly as a knight in a secret society who helps a young boy to try to take down the local lady overlord (Olivia Hussey). Hijinx ensue… but yeah, Rifftrax is the way to watch this one. There’s some great over the top ridiculousness but that’s about it.
 
Rating – 6/10 – There were a few times where I was like “Is David Warner paid by the role? Nice…”

Okay, not a lot of winners this week... but we had some laughs... and there are some good ones coming up!

​Steve

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Happy Valentine's / President's Week!!! Here are some lovely movies that I watched...

February 10 – Man’s Best Friend (1993)
 
Okay, I remember the trailer from when I was a kid… but I don’t think I’d seen the movie before… but I did remember almost all of the kills. Anyway, if I had seen it… it was almost 30 years ago… and it’s the timeless tale of a genetically engineered guard dog Mastiff being released by an investigative reporter (Ally Sheedy) and the scientist who made him (Lance Henriksen) has to find him before he loses his mind & starts killing EVERYTHING!!! The tone is… kind of a tongue-in-cheek dark comedy, which it almost has to be… and I’ll be honest, I had a lot of fun watching it. Of course it’s pretty predictable (though some choices amazed me that they went that far) but it’s a very 80’s horror flick… that just happened to be released in 1993.
 
Rating – 9/10 – I’ll say it… I enjoyed it more than “Cujo”
 
February 11 – The Nesting (1981)
 
An agoraphobic writer decides to rent an old isolated house in order to get over her writer’s block (must be nice!) but she also seems to have dreamed of this place… she finds out that it used to be a brothel… and it might be haunted!!! This is your run of the mill haunted house flick… but if you’re into it then you’re into it. The “flashback / dream” sequences are off-putting because they… honestly are probably using stageplay cosplay outfits from the day or something, not the biggest budget on costuming or set decorating… but let’s just say maybe it adds to the unnerving feeling that the writer is going through… yeah, that’s it.
 
Rating – 8/10 – I’d recommend it… there are some ridiculous scenes & kills… which may be spoiled by the pictures on Tubi, or so you think!
 
February 12 – Fear (1996)
 
New girl meets boy… dad is skeptical of boy… boy has secret past & may be a psycho. Tale as old as time. However, there are a few things that I’ll say about this movie that put it as one of my favorites of the genre. 1) Marky Mark (Wahlberg) knocks it out of the park with his performance. He’s charismatic as the good version of his character… and an absolutely intimidating prick as the evil version. 2) The soundtrack is so 1996 I almost broke out my first CD that I ever bought for myself, Bush “Sixteen Stone” and 3) Many award winning movies come & go… and you remember NOTHING about them. However, in this movie, I’d say there are about FIVE scenes / images that are basically unforgettable to anyone who has seen this movie. Marky Mark yelling into the peephole, “Wiiiiiild Horses” on the rollercoaster, Alyssa Milano being exploited, the dog’s last scene, and the final confrontation. There might be more… and honestly that makes it a better than movie than… say… “The Artist” or “Crash” or most other Best Picture winners.
 
Rating – 10/10 – If I want to see this genre of “jealous psycho” movie, this is the one that I’ll pick just about every single time
 
February 13 – The Elite (2001)
 
This movie was recommended by the algorithm and watching dumb action movies… and it sounded a little interesting: Five young adults are now a government anti-terrorist team after their parents are killed in a plane crash and… apparently become government property? Don’t worry about it. Anyway, they’re trying to stop a terrorist (Jurgen Prochnow) from unleashing a nuclear weapon from an aircraft carrier on a gaming convention (really?) and hijinx ensue. This movie… … really looked like a TV pilot for a sh*tty USA series or something that never happened. It’s not great. The second biggest star in it is Robin Givens and… she’s horrible. Three of the teenage boys looked exactly the same… and two are actually twins… just a fun, dumb movies… but without the fun really.
 
Rating – 5/10 – That’s gonna be a “no” from me, dawg…
 
February 14 – Boogie Nights (1997)
 
Researching for Marky March… and we’ve been watching porn the past few weeks… so why not revisit the story about a busboy who becomes a porn superstar… and then the tragic downfall? This cast is amazing with Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moores, William H Macy, John C Reilly, Don Cheadle, friend of the podcast Thomas Jane & more… and for whatever reason, it’s the only Paul Thomas Anderson movie that I’ve seen more than once… and I’ve seen it probably 6-7 times easy. It’s funny… it’s tragic… it’s heartwarming… it’s soul crushing… and just a great movie that doesn’t really seem to drag… even in the later half when you just want the misery to end for the characters.
 
Rating – 10/10 – Great flick! If you haven’t seen it, get on it!
 
February 15 – Clerks III (2022)
 
I was never a huge fan of Clerks… and I liked Clerks II with my friends in theatres back when they were semi-affordable & had a great time… but I was curious how director Kevin Smith was going to climb entirely up his own butthole & end this trilogy of movies. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a LOT of Kevin Smith’s movies… but it has been a while since the last one that I did… and the Jay & Silent Bob Reboot was so rough that I couldn’t make more than about 15 minutes into it. This is about the two clerks from the original, now 30 years later, and one has a heart attack… realizes that he hasn’t done anything with his life… so he wants to make a movie about his life (basically the first movie). There’s a LOT of nods to his other movies, his buddies from being in Hollywood for 30 years, and all that… and there’s some themes of friendship & legacy… but overall, it just didn’t grab me. I watched it by myself… and I told Izzy that she could just pass on it.
 
Rating – 7/10 – Watch if you’re a Kevin Smith completionist but… spoilers, Rosario Dawson is killed immediately after the 2nd movie offscreen.
 
February 16 – Party at Kitty & Stud’s (1970/78)
 
Yes… the legendary Sylvester Stallone porno from when he was living homeless at a bus station & needed $200 to pretend to bang some random chicks. The version we watched was the re-released “Italian Stallion” version that came out right after the success of “Rocky” to capitalize on it but… this movie was… well, I’m not sure if you can call it that but… oh, just listen to the episode of Everything I Learned From Movies. It’s a trip.
 
Rating - ???/10 – I’m not even sure if this is a porno… so I don’t know what it is.

Everything I Learned From Movies is on all the major podcatchers... check it out... we have fun!

Steve

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yup, another week of movies... you're welcome...

February 3 – Bill Osco’s Alice in Wonderland (1976)
 
Yes, for February, we’re watching some pornography for the podcast… and this one was recommended by a Patreon… and it’s an X-Rated Fantasy Musical!!! I mean… what would you expect an X-rated version of Alice in Wonderland to be? An incredibly young looking lead stumbling into a journey of self-discovery ending in various orgy montages? Yup… that’s about it. The music is okay & kinda catchy… even with the quality of video & sound being questionable at best. There was an R-rated version released too… and the quality on that portion is MUCH better than the sex scenes added later.
 
Rating – 8/10 – Check it out if this sounds interesting to you…
 
February 4 – Metro (1997)
 
I had seen this movie back when it first came out… and remember really liking it. Eddie Murphy is a hostage negotiator whose chief buddy is killed checking out a jewel thief (Michael Wincott) and he’s on a vengeance path to get him… but also has to train his future replacement (Michael Rapaport) and hijinx ensue. It’s set in San Francisco which is great to see the old hood (including a chase going past my old work) and… frankly there’s a LOT of plot holes in the movie that you could drive a truck through… but I thought it was a lot of fun.
 
Rating – 8/10 – Not perfect but a lot of what you’d expect from 90’s Murphy trying to catch Beverly Hills Cop vibes again
 
February 5 – Cabin Boy (1994)
 
I have fond memories of watching this dumb comedy as a kid. I loved Chris Elliott in his show “Get a Life” and other great character actors & nobodies at the time (Alfred Molina, Andy Richter, etc.) were in this comedy about a fancy lad (Elliott) who mistakenly boards the wrong ship home to live life as a kept man under his daddy’s Hawaiian hotel empire… and instead finds himself as a stowaway on a fishing vessel… and hijinx ensue. I hadn’t seen this movie since probably… 1997, so I knew I was probably in for a rude awakening as to how bad it was… and man, oh man… it’s pretty bad… and I still enjoyed it. Now, I would’ve told you it was a 10 or 10+ back when I was 13-14 years old… but today…
 
Rating – 8/10 – I still really enjoyed it… though Chris Elliott does not make the most convincing fancy lad with his beard & looking 52 years old at the time
 
February 6 – Wolfen (1981)
 
We watched this movie for an episode of the Bloody Bits Horror Show… and I thought I had seen it a decade ago but… I remembered absolutely nothing about it. For example, Albert Finney is the lead, you get to see Edward James’ Olmos, the first kills of the movie are basically Trump, his wife & his driver… and it’s the first use of Predator POV. Basically there’s a serial killer going around killing people in NYC… and Detective Albert Finney is trying to bring the killer down… but the evidence shows only one logical conclusion… the killer is a werewolf!!! Hijinx ensue… definitely check it out! It’s like… a legit movie given the fairly ridiculous premise.
 
Rating – 9/10 – There are some parts that drag for “character development” that doesn’t really happen but definitely worth a watch
 
February 7 – Black Eagle (1988)
 
This was on Tubi… we hadn’t seen it… and it has super young JCVD as a Russian soldier… and the hero is Sho Kosugi… with his real life kids in it too (and honestly his son kind of being a better actor). I’m IN!!! The story is about a CIA agent (Kosugi undubbed) trying to find a super weapon that crashed into the Mediterranean Sea near Malta… but the KGB are there too. Hijinx ensue. The movie is your standard Cannon Films craziness & we’ll probably talk about it on the podcast some time… but yeah, just kinda craziness all around…
 
Rating – 8/10 – I’d recommend it if you’re just looking for action & some prime JCVD beef
 
February 8 – Three Thousand Years of Longing (2022)
 
From the director of Mad Max & Happy Feet comes the answer to the question “What if some lonely chick found a magic lamp with a Djinn that looks like Idris Elba inside… and then wanted to f**k him?!?” What a meet-cute! This movie was an awkward one… as it’s mostly the djinn telling stories of his exes… and a bunch of allegory about wishes, desires, love, all that kind of stuff… and then hijinx ensue… by which I mean, hijinx doesn’t really ensue. This is basically a play… with a lot of over the top effects & stories that… I don’t know, end morally ambiguous but not in a profound way? I don’t know, it just didn’t click with me… but the acting & stuff was great.
 
Rating – 7/10 – Not my bag… and frankly when the movie ended I responded with “Well… okay?”
 
February 9 – Red Scorpion (1988)
 
This is one of those Dolph Lundgren movies that’s… basically a Cannon movie… though they went bankrupt right before it was made. Young Dolph is a Spetsnaz commando (Russian) who’s sent on a mission to infiltrate an African rebel army & assassinate their leader… but has a change of heart halfway through… and hijinx ensue. You’ve got a foulmouthed M. Emmett Walsh as an American journalist & from the director of “Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter” & “Missing in Action” and lots of dummy kills & explosions. I really enjoyed it… but there’s some definite questionable motivations throughout.
 
Rating – 8/10 – Give it a gander if you’re into Dolph’s sweaty body… or action movies

Have a great week everybody!!!

​Steve

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yup, it's February now... and I'll be watching Black Panther: Wakanda Forever tonight... but first...

January 26 – Killer Sally (2022)
 
This is a new Netflix documentary about the female bodybuilder Sally McNeil, who’s famous for killing her bodybuilder husband on Valentine’s Day 1995. As with most of these kinds of documentaries, there’s obvious ways that the story is told through the first few episodes to sway you one way… and then they bring in the rest of the facts when we get to the trial portion, you know, just to get that reaction… and of course, I’m always wondering what the victim or people specifically left out (or choosing to bow out) of the documentary would have to say but… you know, they’re probably dead or something… or made it a lot simpler. Long story short: Don’t do steroids & get out of toxic relationships. Or go to jail… whatever.

Rating – 8/10 – Still pretty well done getting the information out but… there’s definitely things left out purposely.
 
January 27 – Hot & Saucy Pizza Girls (1979)
 
Yup… we’re gearing up for February on the podcast where we’re watching our first adult films. Sure, I’ve seen some pornography in my day… but definitely not a lot. So the theme for the month is to watch a few movies that are recommended to us by our Patreons and… this was the first! You know that stereotypical porn about pizza delivery with “extras” on the side? This one stars John Holmes & a bunch of cute chicks… and there’s also a plot involving a six-foot chicken that sexually assaults people… and a chicken conglomerate trying to run them out of business? It’s nonsense… but the best kind of nonsense & a quintessential example of the Golden Age of Porn.
 
Rating – 9/10 – There are definitely some things that’ll make you squirm… okay, a LOT… but it’s what you signed up for
 
January 28 – Once Upon a Girl (1976)
 
What if Hanna-Barbara did a porn? That’s this movie. I’m not even joking. Mother Goose is on trial (played by Hal Smith) for public indecency & she sees it as the perfect opportunity to tell the REAL stories of Jack & the Beanstalk, Cinderella & Little Red Riding Hood. This movie is… … rough to say the least. There are a lot of points where it’s kind of crass to be crass… and trigger warnings for stuff like rape and whatnot. That being said… yeah, it’s a bad Hanna-Barbara animated porn.

Rating – 6/10 – They REALLY try to drag it out to fill that 80 minute runtime.
 
January 29 – Dead Heat (1988)
 
This was a first time watch for me… about two LA detectives (Treat Williams & Joe Piscopo) who are investigating a string of bank robberies to find out that they’re being done… by reanimated corpses / zombies? That leads them to a mysterious company… one of the detectives is killed… and then they bring him back to life. Now he has like… a day to find out why he died (wasn’t he already at the company though) and bring down some bank robbers… and hijinx ensue. Zombie Cop! Now… it sounds ridiculous & stupid… and it absolutely is… but I loved it!!!
 
Rating – 10/10 – Great action, stupid one-liners, just a fun watch!
 
January 30 – Madoff: Monster of Wall Street (2023)
 
This was a 4-hour documentary about Bernie Madoff and how he came to swindle BILLIONS from people… but of course… he didn’t do it alone. Can you name the other people? Of course you can’t… because he was a scapegoat. Great documentary but it just made me mad about the whole economic system & the justice system in general… but then again I’m biased… because I know bringing math into the economy is like bringing science to religion.
 
Rating – 9/10 – If you don’t know the details, it’s a great way to see how horrible people (and institutions) can be
 
January 31 – Million Eyes of Sumuru (1967)
 
Sumuru (played by Bond girl Shirley Eaton) leads an army of superhotties who are basically killing off male leaders & heads of state… and replacing them with her agents… and there’s only a few “secret agents” that can stop her… unfortunately it’s George Nader & Frankie Avalon and… man, this one was a little rough. The male agents are idiots… the plot is pretty whacky… but man, are those girls hot. I’d recommend checking out the Rifftrax version of this James Bond wanna-be.
 
Rating – 7/10 – Eye candy aplenty…
 
February 1 – Black Water (2018)
 
JCVD shows up in an inescapable submarine prison (with Dolph Lundgren in the next cell) and now he must figure out where he is, who has him there, and how he can get out… hijinx ensue. Okay, hijinx like a lot of flashbacks, obvious plot twists & double crosses, some others thrown in just because, female soldiers who paid for medical school by stripping (I assume anyway) and honestly… I thought this was a new movie to me… but watching it, I figured out that I had seen it back when it first came out… but remembered almost nothing important. How would I forget an underwater prison movie?

Rating – 7/10 – This one’s a little rough but… JCVD & Dolph actually share a scene or two!
 
February 2 – The Astrologer (1975)
 
Okay, so this movie was part of the Bloodbank for Patreons of the Bloody Bits Horror Show… and I had heard about it last week as one of those “Auteur” films where a guy is the writer/director/star/caterer/financier but had never made a movie before… so I’m expecting some Neil Breen, Tommy Wiseau, John DeHart crap… and boy howdy did I get them all in one 70’s movie with a soundtrack that I can only assume was not paid for! Basically it’s about a guy (Craig Deeney) who starts as a carney tarot card reader… so then he robs a bunch of banks… wins all of the stocks… makes a movie that grosses $145 million (before Star Wars) and has 26 shows on the three channels in syndication… all in like a year… and hijinx ensue. The editing of scenes is absolutely bonkers… like the character you think will be the villain is suddenly & immediately killed, smash cut to him narrating elsewhere about another movie that he’s apparently in now? Not going to lie… the internet went out with 15 minutes left in the movie… and I have no idea what’s going to happen other than it’s probably going to be bat sh*t insane.
 
Rating – 6/10 – Don’t try to watch it & have it make sense… just assume that everything he said that happened off-screen makes total sense… and it’s still rough. Neil Breen, you HACK!!!

Wakanda Forever!!!

​Steve