February Movies - Week 2

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Happy Valentine's / President's Week!!! Here are some lovely movies that I watched...

February 10 – Man’s Best Friend (1993)
 
Okay, I remember the trailer from when I was a kid… but I don’t think I’d seen the movie before… but I did remember almost all of the kills. Anyway, if I had seen it… it was almost 30 years ago… and it’s the timeless tale of a genetically engineered guard dog Mastiff being released by an investigative reporter (Ally Sheedy) and the scientist who made him (Lance Henriksen) has to find him before he loses his mind & starts killing EVERYTHING!!! The tone is… kind of a tongue-in-cheek dark comedy, which it almost has to be… and I’ll be honest, I had a lot of fun watching it. Of course it’s pretty predictable (though some choices amazed me that they went that far) but it’s a very 80’s horror flick… that just happened to be released in 1993.
 
Rating – 9/10 – I’ll say it… I enjoyed it more than “Cujo”
 
February 11 – The Nesting (1981)
 
An agoraphobic writer decides to rent an old isolated house in order to get over her writer’s block (must be nice!) but she also seems to have dreamed of this place… she finds out that it used to be a brothel… and it might be haunted!!! This is your run of the mill haunted house flick… but if you’re into it then you’re into it. The “flashback / dream” sequences are off-putting because they… honestly are probably using stageplay cosplay outfits from the day or something, not the biggest budget on costuming or set decorating… but let’s just say maybe it adds to the unnerving feeling that the writer is going through… yeah, that’s it.
 
Rating – 8/10 – I’d recommend it… there are some ridiculous scenes & kills… which may be spoiled by the pictures on Tubi, or so you think!
 
February 12 – Fear (1996)
 
New girl meets boy… dad is skeptical of boy… boy has secret past & may be a psycho. Tale as old as time. However, there are a few things that I’ll say about this movie that put it as one of my favorites of the genre. 1) Marky Mark (Wahlberg) knocks it out of the park with his performance. He’s charismatic as the good version of his character… and an absolutely intimidating prick as the evil version. 2) The soundtrack is so 1996 I almost broke out my first CD that I ever bought for myself, Bush “Sixteen Stone” and 3) Many award winning movies come & go… and you remember NOTHING about them. However, in this movie, I’d say there are about FIVE scenes / images that are basically unforgettable to anyone who has seen this movie. Marky Mark yelling into the peephole, “Wiiiiiild Horses” on the rollercoaster, Alyssa Milano being exploited, the dog’s last scene, and the final confrontation. There might be more… and honestly that makes it a better than movie than… say… “The Artist” or “Crash” or most other Best Picture winners.
 
Rating – 10/10 – If I want to see this genre of “jealous psycho” movie, this is the one that I’ll pick just about every single time
 
February 13 – The Elite (2001)
 
This movie was recommended by the algorithm and watching dumb action movies… and it sounded a little interesting: Five young adults are now a government anti-terrorist team after their parents are killed in a plane crash and… apparently become government property? Don’t worry about it. Anyway, they’re trying to stop a terrorist (Jurgen Prochnow) from unleashing a nuclear weapon from an aircraft carrier on a gaming convention (really?) and hijinx ensue. This movie… … really looked like a TV pilot for a sh*tty USA series or something that never happened. It’s not great. The second biggest star in it is Robin Givens and… she’s horrible. Three of the teenage boys looked exactly the same… and two are actually twins… just a fun, dumb movies… but without the fun really.
 
Rating – 5/10 – That’s gonna be a “no” from me, dawg…
 
February 14 – Boogie Nights (1997)
 
Researching for Marky March… and we’ve been watching porn the past few weeks… so why not revisit the story about a busboy who becomes a porn superstar… and then the tragic downfall? This cast is amazing with Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moores, William H Macy, John C Reilly, Don Cheadle, friend of the podcast Thomas Jane & more… and for whatever reason, it’s the only Paul Thomas Anderson movie that I’ve seen more than once… and I’ve seen it probably 6-7 times easy. It’s funny… it’s tragic… it’s heartwarming… it’s soul crushing… and just a great movie that doesn’t really seem to drag… even in the later half when you just want the misery to end for the characters.
 
Rating – 10/10 – Great flick! If you haven’t seen it, get on it!
 
February 15 – Clerks III (2022)
 
I was never a huge fan of Clerks… and I liked Clerks II with my friends in theatres back when they were semi-affordable & had a great time… but I was curious how director Kevin Smith was going to climb entirely up his own butthole & end this trilogy of movies. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a LOT of Kevin Smith’s movies… but it has been a while since the last one that I did… and the Jay & Silent Bob Reboot was so rough that I couldn’t make more than about 15 minutes into it. This is about the two clerks from the original, now 30 years later, and one has a heart attack… realizes that he hasn’t done anything with his life… so he wants to make a movie about his life (basically the first movie). There’s a LOT of nods to his other movies, his buddies from being in Hollywood for 30 years, and all that… and there’s some themes of friendship & legacy… but overall, it just didn’t grab me. I watched it by myself… and I told Izzy that she could just pass on it.
 
Rating – 7/10 – Watch if you’re a Kevin Smith completionist but… spoilers, Rosario Dawson is killed immediately after the 2nd movie offscreen.
 
February 16 – Party at Kitty & Stud’s (1970/78)
 
Yes… the legendary Sylvester Stallone porno from when he was living homeless at a bus station & needed $200 to pretend to bang some random chicks. The version we watched was the re-released “Italian Stallion” version that came out right after the success of “Rocky” to capitalize on it but… this movie was… well, I’m not sure if you can call it that but… oh, just listen to the episode of Everything I Learned From Movies. It’s a trip.
 
Rating - ???/10 – I’m not even sure if this is a porno… so I don’t know what it is.

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Steve