Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

That's right... the birthday is coming up... and the MIL is still here... so here are a few movies we watched...

April 19 – Serial Mom (1994)
 
Directed by John Waters, this is the story of a mom set in the 1950’s serial family (Kathleen Turner) who… has a darker side where she starts killing people who annoy her… and man oh man is this pretty hilarious. I remember watching this when I was 13 when it came out… and yeah, I liked it back then too… still holds up… came out when OJ & all that was going down… and oddly enough, we watched it the day he passed away. Poetic?
 
Rating – 8/10 – It’s definitely a dark comedy niche but I really enjoyed it
 
April 21 – The Magnificent Seven (1960)
 
This was my first time watching this movie… since I was a kid… and man, I love me a good western. Yes, I know it’s the American adaptation of “Seven Samurai” and I love that movie too, so don’t worry… but yeah, seven gunfighters are “hired” by some peasants in a small village along the Mexican border, because the village is being sucked dry by about forty banditos… and because the gunfighters are led by Yul Brynner & Steve McQueen, those banditos are f**ked!!! Eli Wallach is the bad guy, young Charles Bronson, Jim Coburn, Robert Vaughn, Horst Buchholz, it’s just a classic… check it out!
 
Rating – 10/10 – How good was this movie? Well, we followed it up with…
 
April 23 – Return of the Seven (1966)
 
That’s right! Yul Brynner & Steve McQueen’s character (played by Robert Fuller) are back again… with four NEW gunfighters… helping out a different Mexican village… who this time have 60+ banditos… and have kidnapped 300+ Mexican men to rebuild a town, including Chico from the first movie! Yes, yes, it’s basically the exact same movie… but the characters a little older & a little wiser… with the odds raised against them (especially when 200 MORE gunmen are on the way inexplicably) but will they make it out alive… well… some will… but WHO?!? Okay, this movie wasn’t that bad either… because it was a retelling of a classic in an EXTEREMELY similar manner… and let’s face it, Yul Brynner is cool as sh*t. How did it score?
 
Rating – 8/10 – A little shorter than the original… but yeah, curious to see how the OTHER sequels will go…
 
April 25 – Aliens (1986)
 
I know the original Alien (1979) is an absolutely banger & a classic… you will get not argument from me there… but the James Cameron-directed sequel is my favorite of the series. Where the original is an incredibly tense thriller where you have no idea what’s going to happen (and apparently the actors weren’t always in the know either), this one turns the action up to a ten with even more incredible special effects, story arcs, great one-liners, fully flushed relationships in just a few minutes of screen time & so much more! We rewatched this movie for an episode of Suns & Shadows Podcast coming soon…
 
Rating – 10+/10 – The original gets a 10 probably so this one gets a 10+, watch them both!

By the time you hear from me again, I'll be a year older... I mean... not really but... well, maybe... crazy stuff happens...

​Steve

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yet another busy week... and show season is right around the corner... but managed to get a few movies in at night...

April 9 – Timeline (2003)
 
Based on a Michael Crichton book & directed by Richard Donner, it’s the story of a band of scientists who travel to 13th century France through mirror-based time travel… and hijinx ensue. Of course this movie is incredible with Paul Walker, Neal McDonough, Billy Connelly & Gerard Butler in the lead… and David Thewlis too… oh my goodness, we did an episode of the podcast for this movie back in the day… but it was on TV during our road trip and we were a little drunk… so of course we watched it! Honestly, it’s just kinda dumb… but can be fun, I guess.
 
Rating – 6/10 – MIRRORS!!! TIME TRAVEL!!! KNIGHTS!!!
 
April 11 – Pulp Fiction (1994)
 
One night during the road trip, our stomachs were a little upset around 1 AM so we were flipping through the channels… and what was on HBO late night but one of the greatest movie ever made in its full unedited glory! Director Quentin Tarantino’s 2nd movie… and boy, if you haven’t seen it & you’re over the age of 18, just do it… FILMMAKING!!!
 
Rating – 10+/10 – Watch it!!!
 
April 13 – Planet of the Apes (1968)
 
Charlton Heston & other astronauts crash land on a planet rules by apes… and hijinx ensue! We were hanging out at Pour Company in Fullerton, California (ask for Mario the world’s greatest bartender & podcast host) and because it was APE-RIL he threw this movie on… and of course we own it… the movie’s a classic… and spawned six sequels and a TV series… and several reboots… and still going strong with a sequel coming out May 10th! Everybody knows the twist at the end… it’s cliché for a reason… but what do I think of the original?
 
Rating – 10+/10 – CLASSIC!!! Bring on the musical!!!
 
April 15 – Con Air (1997)
 
We were at a hotel flipping through the channels… and wouldn’t you know it… TBS was playing this Nicolas Cage classic about an airplane filled with the world’s most diabolical criminals being taken over by said criminals… and only one man can stop them… Cameron F**king Poe!!! Hijinx ensue… and yeah, it’s a dumb action movie with pretty bad one-liners and abject stereotypes but… has it aged like milk or wine?
 
Rating – 10+/10 – Still waiting for the sequel where Poe goes after Garland Greene… on Money Plane!!!
 
April 17 – Rampage (2018)
 
APE-RIL… Ape Movies… Giant Albino Ape… based on a video game… Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the world’s foremost primatologist and his gorilla buddy George gets exposed to an experimental McGuffin gas… and hijnx ensue as he gets bigger & more aggressive… and a giant wolf… and a gator in the 3rd act… and yeah, it’s a dumb action movie with some funny moments… but how did we really like it?!?
 
Rating - ???/10 – Find out on my birthday when it pops up on Everything I Learned From Movies!!!

So yeah... rate, review, subscribe, smash that like button... Everything I Learned From Movies!!!

​Steve

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

ELEVEN DAYS on vacation... more to come... or at least an episode of the podcast about it... but hey, a few movies were seen too...

April 1 – Ape vs. Mecha Ape (2023)
 
That’s right… we’re celebrating APE-RIL so now it’s time for an Asylum production about an ape that was sent into space & came back with Alien DNA to make it huge in a previous movie (“Ape vs. Monster” which we haven’t seen) and he’s the only thing that can stop the robotic government weapon created in his image, Mecha Ape… and hijinx ensue. The star of this movie… in fact the only one you or really anybody outside of Asylum productions would know… is Tom Arnold as the Secretary of Defense or something. How did we like it?
 
Rating - ???/10 – Find out on Everything I Learned From Movies, available on all major podcatchers!!!
 
April 3 – MXP: Most Extreme Primate (2003)
 
Okay, from the producers of MVP: Most Valuable Primate & the Air Bud cinematic universes, this is apparently the 3rd in the series after MVP & MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate (skateboarding one we’ve never seen) about the chimpanzee Jack, who starred in junior hockey… then apparently did enough to end up on the cover of a skateboarding magazine (in this movie)… but NOW he’s accidentally flown to Colorado instead of Mexico (yup) and get into the world of snowboarding. The plot… is f**king dumb. I was screaming at the TV during the airport switcheroo thing for ALL the reasons… I’ve never heard of a snowboarding event requiring a team of two to win (somehow?)… there’s a bank robbery gone wrong subplot involving the Mafia or something… just to have two stoner idiots trying to steal a chimp… and a bunch more. HOWEVER, these movies tend to at least be somewhat fun & entertaining in the way they portray this crazy world that they inhabit… so how does this one do?!?
 
Rating - ???/10 – This is our Patreon Exclusive episode available with dozens of others for just $2 a month at Patreon.com/eilfmovies
 
April 5 – Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)
 
We saw this baby opening Thursday night… and this movie finally gets it!!! A bunch of monsters teaming up & fighting like it’s the Royal Rumble… alliances are formed… podcasters involved… the male lead has some charisma… mystical people… an even more hollow Earth… Congo references throughout… literal blood baths… Predator traps… and MORE!!!
 
Rating – 10/10 – The only thing missing was Kong using that robotic arm to speak with sign language
 
April 7 – MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate (2001)
 
After Jack the Chimp is kicked out of the ZHL hockey league for a crime he didn’t commit… he runs away to join up with a homeless boy and shred on a skateboard… and hijinx ensue. Yes, another “from the producers of Air Bud” or the ABCU as I call it… and yeah, it wasn’t that bad. How does it compare to MVP, MXP & Spymate?
 
Rating - ???/10 – This one will be coming out NEXT APE-RIL & the episode is a little special because… we make some 2025 time capsule predictions

So yeah, until next time... how about that eclipse huh?

​Steve