Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Busy week... but here are a few gems that we watched... September 23 – Knightriders (1981) Okay… so when I was researching King Arthur Month last year, this movie came up & I thought it was some sort of time traveling motorcycle gang going back to help the Knights of the Round Table or something… but apparently I was mixing it up with Timerider: The Legend of Lyle Swann (which is another great movie, especially the end). However, this is Roger Corman’s stunt-filled take of Easy Rider where a traveling Renaissance Faire troupe (led by King Ed Harris) struggles to stay together when they get the faintest hint of success… like the potential for exposure for consideration to being successful in a way. So it sounds like it would be a slog of 2.5 hours, right? Actually… I really f**king liked it! There’s some great stunt driving with the likes of Tom Savini in an acting role, basically almost half the movie is tournament games on motorcycles & the rest is driving around on them, or talking about it… and bringing up some interesting issues that I would have NEVER expected in a Roger Corman flick. Rating – 10/10 – 2.5 hours and I’d watch it again to share it with others. Admittedly, it does drag a bit at parts in the middle but not for long. September 24 – Jack’s Back (1988) This is part of that late 80’s James Spader era that is always a little bit crazy… but basically there’s a modern day Jack the Ripper serial killer on the loose… and Spader is a medical student who really doesn’t have anything to do with it… until he’s killed by him! Roll credits? NOPE, because as he’s being killed, his previously unmentioned (as long as you don’t read the synopsis) TWIN BROTHER dreams of his death across town!!! Now, HE (also Spader obviously) is on the hunt for this serial killer… with the help of his brother’s hot friend (Cynthia Gibb) and hijinx ensue. Look, I knew about the twin brother (hell, it’s why I picked it) but if I went to see this movie about a med student & a serial killer… and the lead dies… CUT TO TWIN BROTHER WAKING UP IN A COLD SWEAT in a movie theatre… I would have f**king applauded (or walked out then & there if I was in a pissy mood). Rating – 9/10 – I really liked it… and if this sounds like your cup of tea… it’s played dead serious, but it’s still James Spader in the 80s September 25 – Stunts (1977) After a stunt man dies in an accident on a movie set… his brother & fellow stunt man (Robert Forster) is going to get to the bottom of this. This is one of the first big movies of Mark L Lester (a few movies last week, Commando, etc) and is full of great stuntwork… and really gets into the life & motivations of a stunt person… but I also found this is basically the perfect Grindbin Podcast movie. It even reference several of their inside jokes including the Madonna Inn, a van with heart shaped windows & just general nonsense… I loved it. We also see Bruce Glover, James Luisi & a few other favorites… Rating – 9/10 – This inspired me for yet another month theme… Stunt-uary? Stunt movies!!! There’s plenty of them to choose from. September 26 – Prey (2007) No, not the Predator sequel that we saw a few weeks ago… this one has Peter Weller, Bridget Moynihan & their kids going on a safari adventure… but Bridget & the kids get in trouble when their tour guide is eaten by lions & they’re stuck in the off-road area of Africa (most of it) waiting to die. Now, there are a few things that happen throughout the movie… but the vast majority of it… is them complaining & waiting to die… it’s not the greatest… except for a few moments that’ll probably come up on a future episode when we have another Killer Cat Month! Rating – 5/10 – It’s rough & boring… even at 90 minutes. Watch “Roar!” instead! September 27 – Street Trash (1987) We’re getting into Goo-tober & this was a first time watch for me… featuring a LOT of actors & production people who this was basically the only thing they were in… so that’s normally scary to look forward to. Basically, it’s a dark comedy about the homeless… and there’s some old hooch that’s found & sold to them for a dollar… but when they drink it… they basically melt into multi-color fashion… and there’s just a lot of craziness… and I loved this movie because it was so crazy & the practical effects were so much fun!!! Rating – 10/10 – I highly recommend checking this movie out as long as you can stand people melting into basically crayons… and exploding people. September 28 – The Incredible Melting Man (1977) Still doing Goo-tober… and this one came up a bunch. This one is about an astronaut named Steve (Alex Rebar) who is orbiting Saturn when… something happens… and poof, he’s back on Earth in a hospital bed (apparently he made it back to Earth somehow but we skip over all that in the movie). The problem is… … he’s melting. Basically his body is dissolving and… it happens for a while (like 80 minutes of the movie) and he wanders the city… well, oozing… and occasionally killing? Look… the story is pretty basic and borderline ridiculous (stronger while melting? FOH!!!) and the acting is pretty bad (seriously, the guy who plays Ted has apparently been in 100+ things but I thought he must have been somebody’s friend on set) but… that’s not why you’re watching this movie. This is one of Rick Baker’s earliest makeup effects gigs & it basically put him on the map… and you can see why. In my opinion, worth a watch just for that. Rating – 8/10 – Luckily it’s not too long… and the makeup effects are great… definitely Riff worthy though. September 29 – Night of the Blood Beast (1958) Speaking of Riff-worthy, we watched the MST3K version of this chestnut about an astronaut (wait a minute!) being killed upon re-entry… but apparently aliens are being born out of his corpse… and hijinx ensue. Look, there’s a reason this movie needed an MST3K version as it’s a little slow & ridiculous… so definitely watch it that way on Tubi or something. Rating – 5/10 – I really like MST3K… but not this movie. Anyway, next week starts GOO-TOBER!!! Izzy has great stuff @UntidyVenus and a Kickstarter going for Spooky Gary the Unicorns!!! Go check it out & get your own!!! Steve
0 Comments
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Yup, another busy week... but I got a few watches in... September 16 – The Black Phone (2022) This one I had to watch without Izzy but luckily I had a day with just me & the new puppy… so I watched some crazy movies. This one is set in the early 80s (if I remember right) and there’s a bunch of kids being snatched up in Denver, and we follow this one kid… and he gets snatched up (by Ethan Hawke) in a van & locked into his basement. Well, hijinx ensue as the kid plots escaping… and his little sister may have psychic powers… and that’s about all I’ll go into to avoid anything spoilery. Long story short, I enjoyed its creepy atmosphere & the way that the story was told to set it in the 80’s (no real way to find ALL of these missing kids before phones, etc) and I’d recommend watching it if you’re into the genre… but there are definitely a few points you might just go “What?!?” Rating – 9/10 – Good but not perfect, check it out! September 17 – Class of 1984 (1980) From director Mark L. Lester (Commando & other great action flicks of the 80’s) comes the tale of the not-too-distant future where kids have taken over the school & the police are powerless to fight them (or something). This is the story of one new teacher (Perry King) going up against these punk kids… and hijinx ensue. Roddy McDowall & babyface Michael J. Fox star too… and I really liked this movie. Yes, it’s over the top craziness (which I love) but so many great dummy kills & weird twists that… just watch it! It’s on Tubi I think. Rating – 10/10 – Great stuff going on in this movie… though yes, it’s over the top crazy September 18 – Class of 1999 (1990) So I HAD to check out the sequel made ten years later by the same director where this time the teachers have taken over the prison state of the school in the not-too-distant future… because evil albino Stacy Keach has made three CYBORG TEACHERS to enforce their will!!! By the way, the teachers are played by Pam Grier, John P. Ryan & Patrick Kilpatrick. Malcolm McDowell shows up for a day of shooting, and the main student couple of Bradley Gregg & Traci Lind have to bring the gangs together to fight back. Is the sequel worth of the original? Rating – 10/10 – Just as crazy, though I would definitely give the nod to the original… but don’t miss out on this one either. September 19 – The Visitor (1979) Okay, to cap off this crazy day that has already produced a score of 29/30, I watched this movie about an 8-year old girl who has telekinetic powers… and is at the center of a battle between good & evil (John Huston as a God figure and the opposing force of Zatan, yes with a Z… and you even get a Franco Nero cameo as uncredited Jesus). This movie is GREAT and absolutely CRAZY!!! Young Lance Henriksen shows up in a major role, Mel Ferrer is the mother, Glenn Ford, Sam Peckinpah pop up, SHELLY WINTERS IS THE NANNY WHO SINGS “MAMA’S LITTLE BABY LOVES SHORTNIN’ BREAD” and just when you think you know where this movie is going… nope… it’s gonna do some crazy stuff. I can’t wait to show this one to Izzy too… Rating – 10/10 – I love crazy Italian movies… especially with killer kids September 20 – Society (1989) Speaking of crazy movies, we’re keeping it going with this Goo-tober selection (a month on the podcast dedicated to gooey 80s movies) and this is about a teenager (Billy Warlord) who suspects that there’s something off about his family… and really his neighborhood in Beverly Hills in general… but is it all in his mind? Spoiler alert: It’s not. I guess also not a spoiler alert but… it involves goo. That’s about all I’ll say on it here… but join us on the podcast in October when we have the sweet Diana of Happily Ever Aftermath watch this for the first time!!! Rating – 9/10 – It lags in some points… but man, those last 20 minutes make up for it! September 21 – Thor: Love & Thunder (2022) Back to watching another one without Izzy, but it’s the 4th Thor movie, directed by Taika Waititi, and in this one Thor comes up against Gor the God Killer (Christian Bale) who’s on a mission of vengeance to kill all Gods with his Necrosword that easily dispatches of them. Thor being the God of Thunder, he’s not a fan of this idea… and for some reason the other Gods are kinda nonchalant about it… and Gor kidnaps the children of New Asgard because… you know, kids get involved & grown ups want to act sometimes… in comic book movies. Seriously, where are all those missing kids from the Trump Administration? Anyway, the movie was basically what you expect… but the tone was definitely a little… all over the place & I can see the criticisms as to why it wasn’t really engaging. I was alone & focused on it (phone put away) but… yeah, it just didn’t grip me like other superhero movies have. Rating – 8/10 – Still pretty fun… even when I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be September 22 – A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (1990) Okay, so you obviously know why I watched this one… because there’s dinosaurs mentioned in the title. Well, this is an offering from Troma Entertainment and it’s about… well, a nymphoid barbarian… and ugh… she’s in a post-apocalyptic future where I guess dinosaurs are back… and from the point about ten minutes in where the first attempted rape scene happens… hijinx ensue. Now, there’s really not a lot to this movie. Seriously, there’s almost no dialogue. The Claymation creature effects are okay for the minimal budget that I assume… and the acting is a little on the wonky side. The biggest problem was… it wasn’t fun. Even at like 75 minutes it seemed long and… just not a fun time. “But Steve, the title? What were you expecting?” Oh no, it was trying to be fun obviously… and it failed. Rating – 4/10 – I still give it a 4 for having dinosaurs… They all can't be winners, am I right? So much awesomeness going on at @EILFMovies on Twitter, Facebook & Patreon! Check it out! Steve Good Afternoon,
Sorry, I forgot to post last week... so here we go... September 9 – Under the Cherry Moon (1986) Yes, this is the Prince movie that followed up “Purple Rain” and debuted a young actress by the name of Kristin Scott Thomas… and it’s a beautifully shot movie set in Nice, France… but for some reason it’s all in black & white… and it’s about a pair of gigolos trying to take advantage of a 21-year old trust fund baby and daddy issues ensue… is it worth watching? Maybe listen to our podcast episode & decide for yourself… Rating - ???/10 – It’s on HBO Max if you simply can’t wait! September 10 – The Apple (1980) Another episode of the podcast for Sexy Singing September… but this is the film debut of friend of the podcast Catherine Mary Stewart and it’s Cannon Films’ attempt to make an EPIC musical with parables to the Devil & the music industry and… you may think I’m giving things away but… this movie should be called “F**k Your Subtext” but the music… really isn’t that bad. If you’re looking for subtle storytelling… this isn’t the movie for you… but it’s a crisp 82 minutes of craziness that I think you might enjoy. Rating – 9/10 – The story is not great… but man is it memorable. September 11 – The Hand (1981) So… I was researching Killer Hand movies (no further questions) and I stumbled upon DOZENS of them that I had no idea existed. This one is DIRECTED BY OLIVER STONE & STARRING MICHAEL CAINE!!! Mr. Caine is a comic artist who loses his hand (in a ridiculous bit of contrivance that I rewound to watch a few times) and he’s dealing to life with a prosthetic, which is rough when you’re a famous artist… and have a young wife & daughter… and kind of an a-hole to begin with. However, hijinx ensue… when the hand comes back… with a vengeance!!! This movie is bonkers & I absolutely loved it!!! Rating – 10/10 – Can’t wait to watch this again for the podcast in a future month… I don’t know… HANDuary?!? Stay tuned… September 12 – Howard the Duck (1986) We were in the hotel room while staying in Delta for my family reunion… and STARZ was playing one of my favorites as a small child, the ORIGINAL Marvel movie… yes, Howard the Duck… and honestly, I don’t get the hate. I can see how it’s a little too adult for kids & a little too kiddy for adults… but apparently that was everything I loved in the 80’s (see Captain Power & the Soldiers of the Future). The special effects are… 80’s in some spots and pretty remarkable with the facial stuff for Howard. The story is… I mean… it’s based on a ridiculous Marvel comic that pokes fun at society so… what were you expecting really? Lea Thompson is hot. It starts off with duck titties. The soundtrack is a banger. Babyfaced Tim Robbins is in it briefly to spout exposition. What more could you want? Rating – 9/10 – We definitely have to talk about it on a podcast soon but… I dig it! September 13 – Captain EO (1986) My first trip to Disneyland was in 1987 & I remember the featured new “ride” that was basically a 3D experience by Space Mountain… starring the biggest star in the world (Michael Jackson) set in a world created if not completely repetitive of George Lucas (Star Wars) and from the director of the f**king Godfather movies (Francis Ford Coppola)! How could this show possibly be anything but amazing?!? Well… even as a kid… it wasn’t my favorite… but I just watched it again and… man, Michael is not an actor. He’s an amazing dancer though! The little muppet things aren’t my favorite… but I f**king dig the evil queen robot thingy (that pops up as Angelica Huston at the end?). At a lean 17 minutes or whatever though, worth a watch on YouTube… and you can tell that it was intended to be 3D from the start… Rating – 8/10 – At least it doesn’t overstay it’s welcome but worth a gander September 14 – Moonwalker (1988) What? More Michael Jackson? Yes… but this is basically 60 minutes of his music videos with a 30-minute episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark thrown into the middle… with the bad guy being Joe Pesci with an erect ponytail? Yeah, this movie is a thing… but at least the soundtrack is pretty good. We cover this one in our Patreon Exclusive for September so… please feel free to check it out, along with dozens of other exclusive episodes, for only $2 a month at Patreon.com/eilfmovies!!! Rating - ???/10 – That’s Patreon.com/eilfmovies and Brent from Home Video Hustle joins us as well!!! September 15 – The Blob (1988) This movie is about a meteor that crashes in small town America… and there’s this goo that’s basically digesting people in some pretty incredible practice effect ways… and obviously hijinx ensue! This is of course the 80’s remake of the 1958 original that starred Steve McQueen… and this one stars babyfaced Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith & others… but I would definitely recommend it. How about this? From the director of Scorpion King & the writer of Shawshank Redemption… yeah… legitimately!!! Rating – 10/10 – Great for the goo genre!!! There’s a scene with a motorcycle, truck & helicopter that is EPIC!!! YEAAAAAHHHH!!! Check out Untidy Venus!!!! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Okay, another busy week... but Sushi is doing great & learning a lot... still working on separation anxiety... but we all watched some movies... August 28 – Grease 2 (1982) Yup, 40 years ago there was a sequel to the musical sensation “Grease” and it starred Michelle Pfeiffer & Maxwell Caulfield (Rex Manning from “Empire Records”) and everybody in it looks like they’re at least 30 with 15 years of tap… and Adrian Zmed is the least intimidating human being on Earth… and it takes the questionable elements of the original and cranks it up to 11 with the over the top horniness & songs with the least bit of subtlety… and I’ll say it… better than the original. Though still a rough musical at nearly two hours long… listen to our episode for Sexy Singin’ September for more details! Rating – 7/10 – Not my bag but… it was okay… and early 80’s Pfeiffer is easy on the eyes August 29 – Streets of Fire (1984) This “Rock & Roll Fable” is basically what writer/director Walter Hill thought was the ultimate movie when he was a teenager in the 50’s and… holy shit, I have to agree! It’s basically “The Warriors” with a kickass rock soundtrack throughout, all kinds of crazy stunts & explosions, over the top masculinity, basically the story is about a biker gang (led by babyface Willem Dafoe) kidnapping a singer (Diane Lane) Double Dragon style… and then her ex-boyfriend (Michael Pare) comes back to town to get her back with the help of a veteran lesbian (Amy Madigan) and the singer’s new boyfriend / manager (Rick Moranis). Hijinx ensue… and it’s absolute craziness!!! Rating – 10/10 – The soundtrack is incredible too! Did I mention that? A lot of songs that sound like Hall & Oates or Meatloaf but sung by Diane Lane! August 30 – Crash of Moons (1954) You know how I feel about “Moonfall” and though I’ve yet to see the Asylum version “Mooncrash” this popped up on MST3K on Tubi so I had to check it out… man, can they make moons crashing dull. Don’t get me wrong the MST3K helped but… man, I damn near fell asleep watching it WITH their jokes. Maybe it’s the new puppy running me ragged & the other vermin in the house just destroying everything in my home but… yeah, this one was a rough. Oh… two moons are going to collide… and there’s a space station or something in the middle… and only Richard Crane can save the Greflurbiacs or something… Star Trek gibberish… Rating – 5/10 – The jokes make it better but… you really need them. August 31 – Sharon’s Baby (1975) Also known as “The Devil Within Her” or “Son of Satan” or “I Don’t Want to Be Born”… this one was for the Grindbin podcast (love those guys) and man oh man… Joan Collins is in it… Rosemary’s Baby on acid… check out their episode for all the details! Spoilers though: There’s no character named Sharon so… that leaves even more questions at the end of the movie than usual! Rating - ???/10 – It’s on YouTube too under “Devil Within Her I Don’t Want to Be Born”! September 1 – Splice (2009) Okay, I finally watched this movie that… was questionable back when it first came out (and I LOVE “Species”… even the 2nd one) but it’s about two scientists (Adrian Brody & Sarah Polley immediately before she retired from acting) who splice a bunch of animal DNA together with human DNA… and of course make an abomination of God & Science… that they THEN RAISE over the course of a few weeks (?), name Dren because it’s Nerd backwards (?) and a whole bunch of weird French movie BS befalls them (though I think the director is Italian, Vincenzo Natali), blah blah blah, HE F**KS THE CREATURE!!! Seriously guys, it’s what this movie is known for… that’s why I didn’t do spoilers… but as crass as I made it by just blurting it out… the movie is even more mystifyingly stupid about it… and what happens after, somehow takes it up to 11/10 on the weirdness scale. Rating – 9/10 – Look, it’s a horrible movie in many ways… but at least it’s a little unique in how horrible it is. I enjoyed it. Onward to Fall!!! Steve |
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
December 2024
Categories |