March Movies - Week 3
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Here's this week's movies... and as you can see... I had a great time!!!
Mar 17 – Let the Right One In (2008)
We then followed it up with this Swedish horror film about a teenage boy who befriends a neighbor girl in an apartment building… but she’s a vampire. If you haven’t seen this movie, I highly recommend checking it out. It’s very artsy & beautiful… and the director went on to do other great movies like “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” and a little gory in parts but… it’s really just a beautiful take on a kind of horror angled coming-of-age movie about this young kid who’s bullied… and someone he becomes friends with that is also a teenager… but she’s been around for decades/centuries… and they’re both just vulnerable & emotional and… just check it out. There’s a reason it’s like 98% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Rating – 10/10 – Never really thought that I’d REALLY like this movie… but now to watch the American remake!!!
Mar 18 – Let Me In (2010)
This was planned anyway… but I’m glad that I did. Matt Reeves, who directed the Planet of the Apes reboots & the new “The Batman” directed this American version of “Let The Right One In” and it starred superyoung Kodi Smit-McPhee as the little boy… and Chloe Grace Moretz as the little vampire girl… and Richard Jenkins as her caretaker… and yeah, it’s beautifully shot… set in 1983 or something (so you know, no cell phones, etc. which makes it like 2008 Sweden apparently?) and the acting is great, special effects are decent… though I definitely laughed a few times when she went vampire rampage mode but it was shot where it basically looked like a spider monkey in the distance.
Rating – 10/10 – Watch this one too, even if I already convinced you to watch the Swedish one. Both worth it.
Mar 19 – In Search of Tomorrow (2022)
Writer/director David Weiner has made a few self-funded documentaries about 80’s horror movies called “In Search of Horror” (and Part II) and now he has set his sights no 80’s science-fiction movies… and this documentary is FIVE HOURS LONG! That being said… we watched it in one sitting & absolutely loved it. It’s a great look year-by-year & topic-by-topic of science-fiction movies throughout the decade and how it’s relevant to today… and we had the pleasure of interviewing him as well (shout out to Drew from the Reel Feels Podcast for setting that up). Now, to see this movie you can get it at www.80sscifidoc.com but it’s well worth it. We’re already ready to sign up for the next project.
Rating – 10/10 – Our queue is PACKED with movies we didn’t know about before watching this movie…
Mar 20 – Saturn 3 (1980)
This was one we got from the documentary… but basically the story breaks down to in the not-too-distant future, there’s an outpost manned by 60-something Kirk Douglas & 30-something Farrah Fawcett & they’re a couple. Well, they get a visit from Harvey Kietel… and he wants Farrah… and puts together this new prototype robot that feeds off his brainwaves or something… and hijinx ensue. There are definitely some great twists & turns in this fairly simple movie and the performances are… well, okay… let’s be honest… but I would definitely recommend watching it.
Rating – 9/10 – There are a few moments of drag but overall, I really liked the robot effects too.
Mar 21 – Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983)
Another we heard about from the documentary & this is essentially a Star Wars knock-off (which is in itself a knock-off of Dune & Kirosawa) but basically three white chicks crash land of a forbidden planet & two bounty hunters (Peter Strauss & Ernie Hudson) join forces with a local girl (Molly Ringwald) to save them from the might Overdog (Michael Ironside). It’s essentially Han Solo & Ernie Hudson with an annoying teenager going through the desert for the most part… but I still really enjoyed it. The effects were pretty good, the comedy was hit or miss, but just a fun stupid time in space.
Rating – 9/10 – Definitely worth a watch if you like Star Wars (better than Megaforce)
Mar 22 – Pam & Tommy (2022)
Lastly this week, we watched the Hulu series about the Pamela Anderson / Tommy Lee sex tape scandal… and this stars Sebastian Stan & Lily Taylor as the titular couple along with Seth Rogen, Nick Offerman, Andrew Dice Clay & others… and it’s an interesting series. The first few episodes you start off siding with the Seth Rogen character for stealing the tape because Tommy Lee is an a-hole that stiffs him… and then you watch the progression of everything… and remember “Oh yeah, he’s really screwing over Pamela” and the last few episodes it all just gets REALLY out of hand & dramatic. I highly recommend checking out the series… but I’ll warn you… everybody comes off as an a-hole except for Pamela… and you hope that she gets a resurgence in a Tarantino movie or something.
Rating – 9/10 – It’s about 6-7 hours total across 8 episodes but Stan & Taylor have incredible performances. You almost forget they’re not Pam & Tommy.
Mar 23 – 1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982)
As you know… I love 80’s Italian post-apocalyptic movies… so we finally watched this movie that we had heard about for a while… and frankly it’s a rip-off of “The Warriors” & “Escape from New York” made two years later… but my God is it amazing! In the not-too-distant future, the Bronx is a warzone overrun by gangs… and a young blonde rich girl runs into the Bronx & is picked up by the major gang in town led by teenager Trash (Mark Gregory). Well this girl… is the President of the major corporation’s daughter so she sends in an army led by Vic Morrow (in his final role before “Twilight Zone”) to get her. The movie is ridiculous & awesome… there’s explosions, dummy kills, Fred Williamson, crazy gang motifs throughout, just check it out on Tubi!
Rating – 10/10 – Tubi, you done did it again!!!
Mar 24 – Escape from the Bronx (1983)
THIS IS THE SEQUEL to Bronx Warriors!!! Allegedly it picks up ten years later… but Trash is the same age… and the Bronx is being cleared out to make condos… but the locals are rebelling… and hijinx ensue! This is also on Tubi… if you liked the original, then check out the second one too.
Rating – 10/10 – SO MANY GREAT DUMMY KILLS!!!
Out of 8 movies we had five 10's & 3 9's... not bad at all... have a great week everybody!!!
March Movies - Week 3
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Happy St. Patrick's Day & all that... and here we go...
Mar 10 – Joe vs Carole (2022)
This past weekend, we watched the 8-episodes & basically 7 hour Peacock mini-series that’s essentially a reenactment of the Tiger King documentary… and we’re actually going to do a Mini Episode about it on our podcast. It’s been two years since the nation was gripped in that Netflix documentary… and of all the proposed series that were going to come of it, this is the one that made it through… and I guarantee it’s because of Kate McKinnon (who plays Carole Baskin) and the funding from Peacock or whoever… because first & foremost, this cast is STACKED & resemble the characters almost perfectly, especially John Cameron Mitchell as Joe Exotic… but there’s also Kyle MacLachlan, William Fichtner & so many more scattered throughout this thing. It’s… obviously a dramatic interpretation of the events… but I do like how it shows both perspectives (where the documentary was very Joe-heavy) and if the subject matter intrigues you… I’d definitely recommend it. It’s just not going to feel like the documentary did though. Honestly if you didn’t know the events that were going to happen… you’d swear it was a horribly written drama on Showtime or something… but the tone’s a little all over the place too.
Rating – 9/10 – Just to get this done is something that I appreciate… though I would only watch it again to share with somebody interested
Mar 11 – Nirvana (1997)
I was recommended this 90’s Italian cyberpunk movie starring Christopher Lambert… was I going to say no?!? Of course not! Essentially the movie is set in the not-too-distant future and Lambert is a game designer for a VR game called Nirvana… but he finds out that the main character of the game, Solo, is actually sentient & wants to be free from the game (or be deleted). What follows is CyberHighlander going into the seedy underbelly of Italian Blade Runner to delete the program in the central computer system or something. Now… the dubbing is pretty bad as it was shot in Italian… but it is quite the unique look & philosophy behind the usual technology meeting humanity morality tale that you expect. If you’re okay with dubbing, it may be worth a watch… and at the very least it’s a unique film.
Rating – 8/10 – There were some parts that dragged, but I’d recommend checking it out.
Mar 12 – King Kong Lives (1986)
Yes, there was a “sequel” to 1976’s King Kong with Jeff Bridges & Jessica Lange… but this one came ten years later from producer Dino DeLaurentiis, stars Linda Hamilton right after The Terminator, and the first few minutes of the movie… are the last few minutes of the 1976 movie. This movie picks up ten years later (fittingly enough) where I guess Kong has been in a coma awaiting a heart and/or blood transfusion to cure him of his 100+ story fall from the World Trade Center (never forget)… and as luck would have it, they find a Lady Kong in Borneo… and hijinx ensue. This movie is… well I love it! The special effects are a lot of forced perspective of a guy in a Kong outfit & the story is basically what you would expect but… PLEASE listen to our episode about it this Ape-ril because Rotten Tomatoes has this as one of those 0% with the critic movies but… I enjoy it!
Rating – 9/10 – There’s one scene of a Georgian parade that’s unsettling… but my king of schlocky cinema
Mar 13 – The Book of Boba Fett (2021)
Over the weekend we watched the Disney+ Star Wars series “The Book of Boba Fett” starring Temeura Morrision in the role of Boba… and let’s just call it what it is… Season 3 of The Mandolorian… or maybe even better, The Mandolorians!!! The first few episodes show how Boba Fett escapes his certain death from Return of the Jedi, lived with the Tusken Raiders & now wants to take over Jabba’s former palace to become basically The Godfather in his older age… but of course, hijinx ensue & The Mandolorian joins the series for the last few episodes. Does the show have flaws? Of course! That’s how you make it a series. Did it hit all of the nostalgia buttons? Of course! It wouldn’t be official Star Wars otherwise. Do we FINALLY get to see Boba ride a dinosaur in Live Action like we did in the Holiday Special animated portion? Well… you’ll have to watch to find out!!!
Rating – 9/10 – I really enjoyed it… but it’s only like 40% about Boba… but that’s probably for the better given how “meh” he is for the most part.
Mar 14 – Midnight Heat (1996)
Also over the weekend, we stopped by a used DVD store & I bought a few action packs… and in one of them was this mid-90’s action movie starring former footbally star & “Stone Cold” star Brian Bosworth as a banker who gets amnesia, but then has to find out who killed his wife! This movie is… fantastically silly… and I had a few questions throughout the movie that they literally waited until the last 15 seconds of the movie to explain… and so it has inspired me to have Amnesia Movie Month on our podcast because damn it… that device has been used so well & so poorly in many, MANY movies… and I want to share them with the world!
Rating – 10/10 – I recommend this movie so much! It might also be listed as “Blackout” but you can find it around on Amazon & stuff
Mar 15 – Bullfighter (2000)
On that same action pack was this “Western/Fantasy” starring Olivier Martinez, Michelle Forbes, Willem Dafoe, Donnie Wahlberg and a bunch of cameos about a drifter who was practicing being a matador… until his girlfriend put a real bull into the ring with him… and then SHE dies from getting gored… and he has to run away because she’s also the daughter of the local kingpin (Michael Parks) and… THEN this movie gets f**king weird & ridiculous the entire way. Now… this movie has potential… beautifully shot & edited, great camera work, great cast obviously… but holy sh*t, the plot makes zero sense & you cannot understand a single f**king word coming out of the lead character’s mouth (Martinez) and his French accent. This movie was rough…
Rating – 4/10 – I’ll give it some credit for the camerawork stuff… but Jesus…
Mar 16 – Konga TNT (2020)
For Ape-ril, we were doing a 1961 movie called “Konga” and in researching it… I found that there were a few remakes with Konga also in the title… and this one came out in 2020 from the director of “Jurassic Shark” and dozens of other tongue-in-cheek horror-comedies… that all seem to get about 2/10 ratings on IMDb. We definitely have to watch it for the podcast then! So we did… and honestly… it wasn’t that bad. Yes, the whole thing was shot on a budget of about $30 with his family & friends in nearly every single role… and the giant gorilla growing at an exponential rate & destroying the city effects are done with a guy in a gorilla outfit & a greenscreen OR a hand puppet… but the music was pretty good & he obviously knew what he was making. Can’t wait to arrange an interview with director Brett Kelly to get some answers…
Rating – 7/10 – Yeah, it’s not the greatest by any means… but it’s a fun romp & I love ape movies
We're got a few interviews coming up soon as well... including the director of Konga TNT Brett Kelly, so be sure to check us out at @EILFMovies on all the social media.
Peace in the Middle East,
March Movies - Week 1
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Here are some more movies we've seen this week...
Mar 3 - The Eternals (2021)
Yes, we finally watched this MCU movie from… I think September is when it came out & it’s been in Disney+ for a month or so but… you know. This movie is completely relatable as it’s about these immortal supergods finding out that things aren’t what they thought… and the creatures that they haven’t battled for a few centuries are back… and now they’re also powerful supergods… and hijinx ensue. Now, the casting is diverse… and yet Izzy was suffering from white people face blindness because they have both the boyfriend & ex-boyfriend of the main heroin played by guys who played brothers in Game of Thrones. Is this absolutely essential to see if you’re an MCU fan? Probably not… but it’s mildly enjoyable.
Rating – 7/10 – There’s just… nothing to really like in this movie other than the fact that the cast is diverse
Mar 4 – The Great (2020 – Season 1)
So we finished the first season of this comedic Hulu series about Catherine the Great (though everybody has SUPER British accents for a Russian tale) and it’s from the creator/director of “The Favourite” so it’s a very irreverent mildly historical tale with some great performances by Elle Fanning, Nicholas Hoult & others. The first season is about Catherine coming to Russia as a Prussian (though they say German or Austrian interchangeably because Russian & Prussian might get confusing) and married to Peter, the ridiculously over-the-top king of Russia… and within a few weeks it seems she’s scheming to pull a coup & overthrow Peter because he’s an absolute pompous asshole. Hijinx ensue… Long story short, I highly recommend checking out the series, but it can get a little dark for how whimsically comedic it is at other points… but such is life.
Rating – 9/10 – Not for everybody, but I enjoyed it
Mar 5 – The Dark (1979)
While going through Tubi, we found a Rifftrax for a late 70’s creature feature called The Dark where a writer & newswoman are trying to track down a California serial killer… and it ends up being an alien werewolf that can shoot laser beams out of its eyes that make people explode!!! Oh, did I mention that the wind randomly whisper hisses “The Daaaaark” throughout the movie for no reason? That might not seem important… but that’s how they build suspense. That being said… the movie is cuckoo bananas & I kinda enjoyed making fun of it along with the Rifftrax guys.
Rating – 8/10 – I’ve seen a lot worse on Rifftrax
Mar 6 – Zombie Nightmare (1987)
Speaking of which, did you like Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare? Well this is… kind of a sequel… but while starring rocker Jon Mikl Thor as well, this one is about a young man who is killed in a hit & run by some local teen thugs… and then his mother asks a voodoo priestess to resurrect him for revenge (Pumpkinhead style) and hijinx ensue. There’s a pretty ridiculously bland performance from the late great Adam West as the local sheriff & pre-Wayne’s World Tia Carrere in a small fodder girlfriend role… but honestly aside from a few points of stupid chuckles, there wasn’t a whole lot to this movie. The kills were even surprisingly lame.
Rating – 6/10 – I hear Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare is worse… or maybe it’s Rock ‘n’ Roll High School… maybe both?
Mar 7 – Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (1958)
We’re finally starting off Ape-fil with some LONG awaited movies involving apes that I either haven’t seen or LOVED… and this was one… that I hadn’t seen. Basically this pops up on a LOT of Worst Movies Ever Made lists as it’s basically about a pair of Martin & Lewis knock-offs who somehow end up in the middle of the jungle on an island… and are found by the natives… and introduced to a mad scientist in a castle (Bela Lugosi) who’s doing experiments on apes & people… and the princess of the tribe is an educated white woman somehow… but yeah, hijinx & musical numbers ensue. Look, I’ve seen worse movies. Basically the worst part is the Jerry Lewis wannabe Sammy Petrillo actually doing a decent Lewis-Carrey hybrid… but I just find Lewis irritating & annoying anyway, so a poor man’s version escalates it. For being the 50’s, whatever…
Rating – 5/10 – Thankfully it’s only about 72 minutes… and there are monkeys
Mar 8 – Link (1986)
What if I told you there was a movie starring 80’s Elisabeth Shue where she becomes an assistant to a mad scientist in an English castle… and he has been studying apes so long… that he has a monkey butler named Link? Not only that… it’s Ms. Shue’s first nude scene. Also, they use real animals, not people in outfits. You’d think this was a fever dream of a perfect movie that I made up, right? Well, it happened… and oh boy how hijinx ensue!
Rating – 10/10 – Hear all about it on the podcast… because I love this crazy sh*t!
Mar 9 – Gotcha! (1986)
This teenage spy movie from director Jeff Kanew & star Anthony Edwards (both of “Revenge of the Nerds” the year before) has a college kid (Edwards) go on a Parisian vacation, where he meets a lovely Czech woman (Linda Fiorentino) and she basically pulls him into the world of espionage. Fun fact: This was the first major movie to have Paintballing and that’s apparently where they got the title for the movie… and I guess explains his “skills” when it comes to being a spy… but this movie was actually a bit of a trip. The tone is a little all over the place from comedic takes to… you know, spy sh*t & people getting shot… but aside from that, I’d say give it a shot.
Rating – 8/10 – It’s a somewhat more serious teenage spy flick…
Well, that oughta do it for this week... join us Saturday, March 12th at 5 PM Pacific for episodes 3 & 4 of Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future Watch Party! Hit us up at @EILFMovies on Twitter for details!
February Movies - Week 4
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
It's Ash Wednesday but it has been a busy week in watching movies...
Feb 24 – Rats: Night of Terror (1984)
We picked this movie to watch for an upcoming guest episode of the Grindbin Podcast… and since we stumbled upon this on Tubi last year looking for another rat movie, it’s been one of our favorites in one of my favorite genres… 80’s Post-Apocalyptic Movies! This Italian movie (with tremendously horrible dubbing) is about a motorcycle gang in a nuclear wasteland hundreds of years after The Bomb… and they pull into a town that’s abandoned… but seems to have everything… so what’s the catch? Rats! As the title might tell you… hijinx ensue…
Rating – 10/10 – I’d watch this crazy movie again & again…
Feb 25 – 2 Guns (2013)
This is our Patreon Exclusive episode for Marky March… and features Denzel Washington & Mark Wahlberg together at last! They’re basically the odd couple, undercover DEA agent & marine turned bank robber, who get tied up in a high crimes menage e trois with a Mexican cartel, the CIA & the Marines! It’s kind of a clichéd action movie but… it’s from the director of “Contraband” too so there’s definitely some good, fun parts to it… especially Edward James Olmos as the druglord & Bill Paxton as the Texan CIA baddy.
Rating – 8/10 – Definitely check it out if you’re into the genre
Feb 26 – The 355 (2022)
This movie is out on Peacock only a month after it was released/flopped in theatres… but features Jessica Chastain, Diane Kruger & a bunch of other great actresses coming together for a spy flick from the director of “X-Men: Dark Phoenix”. There’s some decent action scenes and lot of twists & double crosses but… overall, it just didn’t grip me. I can’t quite put my finger on it… there wasn’t even particular annoying characters or anything, just kind of… meh.
Rating – 7/10 – Check it out on Peacock & see if I’m right
Feb 27 – The Other Guys (2010)
So we were talking about Mark Wahlberg movies… and my wife let me know that she hadn’t seen The Other Guys… so I had to change that! This movie has Will Ferrell & Marky Mark (in perhaps his 2nd best role) as NYPD detectives who… really aren’t that good. But through a series of events they find themselves in the middle of a HUGE financial crime syndicate & have to get answer. Director Adam MacKay’s next movie was “The Big Short” and this was basically his comedic take on the same situation… and the cameos are ABUNDANT & fantastic!
Rating – 10+/10 – “Pimps don’t cryyyyyyyyyyy…”
Feb 28 – Step Brothers (2008)
So the next movie was the OTHER great Will Ferrell movie that Izzy hadn’t seen… where he & John C. Reilly basically play ten-year-olds who widowed parents are getting married… but they’re clearly men in their early 40s so it’s hilarious. Again, star studded cameos… but fun story, I did NOT like this movie when I saw it in theatres the first time in Vegas (I may have been a little too drunk) but now… I’ve seen it more than The Godfather?!?
Rating – 10+/10 – It’s fantastic from start to finish…
Mar 1 – Talladega Nights (2006)
Completing the 3-disc Will Ferrell classic set was this NASCAR spoof… and though I wouldn’t put it on the same tier as The Other Guys & Step Brothers, it’s still incredibly funny at parts… but slow at others. Honestly my MVPs go to John C Reilly & the two misfit kids who eventually get broken like wild horses.
Rating – 9/10 – Just not as good as the other two
Mar 2 – Captain Power & the Soldiers of the Future (1987)
The last one that I’m going to leave you is a plug for our new LIVE WATCH PARTY that we’re hosting on Saturday, March 12th at 5 PM Pacific time, just hit us up at @EILFMovies on Twitter to get added to the invite list… for episodes 3 & 4 of this amazing live-action post-apocalyptic children’s show?!? It’s a weird mix that only the 80’s can provide where it’s set in 2147 after the machines have taken over the world… and there’s a team of five power suit wearing rebels that can save us! Because of its weird appeal to adults for the surprisingly good storytelling & dark themes… but also being aimed at kids to sell toys, some of which were actually guns you could shoot at the screen… it only last one season… but man could it really take in a reboot today! Hit us up Netflix! We have ideas!
Rating – 10+/10 – I own TWO versions of all 22 episodes… and you can check them out with our fortnightly Watch Parties… again, just hit us up on Twitter @EILFMovies to get on the guest list!
See you there!!!
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing