Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Oh boy... we've got some interesting ones this week... April 8 – Dawn of an Evil Millennium (1988) Next up was this 20 minute Super-8 film from Damon Packard about a demon going to Earth and hopping in an Oldsmobile to conduct a road-rage killing spree… but really it’s just showing show footage can be cut weird & keep the viewer “on their toes”. Visually, it’s pretty good… the audio is basically just gargled noises like death metal except for the occasional stolen excerpt from a familiar movie… but overall, pretty high energy & definitely more intriguing than “In Our Garden” Rating – 5/10 – Worth a watch maybe if you can find it but… it’s 20 minutes April 9 – Killer Bean Forever (2008) Last up for us was this CGI-animated movie about a world of sentient coffee beans… and the assassin Killer Bean is sent into Beantown to take out the warehouses of the mob boss Cappucino… and hijinx ensue. Think of this as a bloodless action movie starring semi-goofy coffee beans wearing a mix of Matrix-style & film noir outfits and doing a straight action movie with cheesy dialogue & all. Sounds pretty ridiculous, right? Well… it’s actually pretty well done for what appears to be a passion project done by maybe 5-6 people doing the writing, voices, catering, all of the above. Aside from a lot of staring pauses for a few extra seconds while the music plays, it’s beat for beat action flick… and kinda fun with the awkward characters doing the action. Rating – 7/10 – If this sounds like it might be your jam, check it out! April 10 – Cocaine Bear (2023) Yup, 2023 movies are making their way to the home entertainment market now… and I’ve been excited for this one for a few years now. Elizabeth Banks directed, based on a true story (in the faintest of ways) about a group of people (moms, children, drug dealers, park rangers, etc) who find themselves in a forest… shortly after a HUGE stash of cocaine was dumped via airplane for pickup… but a bear got to it first… and now (instead of the real story where it immediately died of a heart attack) you have a coked-out furry killing machine on the search for his next fix by any means necessary… and hijinx ensue. The movie was hilarious, a little vulgar & just about everything you could hope for. My only criticisms… I have no idea why the little girl survived the first act… and Baby Ice Cube (O’Shea Jackson jr) doesn’t seem to realize that he’s supposed to be in the 1980’s or giving much of a f**k about his role in the movie… but everybody else is EXCEPTIONAL! Rating – 9/10 – Definitely recommend checking it out! April 11 – Rustlers’ Rhapsody (1985) I heard about this movie for the first time on the Quentin Tarantino podcast… and heard that it’s a parody of Old Western serials from the 40’s & 50’s from the director of “Police Academy” and starring Tom Berenger as the lead. Basically Rex O’Hallahan (Berenger) is the star of one of these serials… but then it takes on 80’s meta sensibilities and he starts to realize that the same thing keeps happening every small town he goes into… he’s the good guy, there’s a bad guy, an asexual female character or two that falls for him, the town drunk turned sidekick, etc. and it sounds like it’d be repetitive & contrived but… this movie was actually a LOT of fun! I especially liked GW Bailey’s drunk exposition turned sidekick character. Rating – 9/10 – If you’re a fan of the Old Western genre, or parodies of it (like Blazing Saddles) then definitely check it out! April 12 – Dead Space (1991) You all know that I LOVE Deep Space horror movies… so when I found out there was an early 90’s Roger Corman produced one starring Bryan Cranston & Beastmaster (Marc Singer) on Tubi… then you know it was about to be watched. It checks all the marks for the genre… distress signal on a space station near Saturn, organism on the loose, two-faced scientists characters, lead is a bit of a dimwit with a robotic sidekick, plenty of fodder… but the one that holds this movie back is that the Corman production limits really start to show on the Tubi version at least. It was down in the “Lords of the Deep” level of film quality (and awfully fitting to the ridiculous pre-Photoshop poster) but if that’s your bag, then check it out… Rating – 7/10 – Decent but slow at times and… yeah, a little dumb… but this is my genre April 13 – MVP: Most Valuable Primate (2000) From the people who brought you “Air Bud” and the cinematic universe that it spawned… comes an ape playing hockey!!! Yes, we’re watching this for Ape-ril… and it actually paired up pretty well with us watching a lot of hockey related comedy in “Letterkenny” & its spinoff “Shoresy” but… yeah, it’s kids finding a chimp in the Canadian wilderness… and hijinx ensue. The chimp actors were great… the kids grew up to do things too… what else can I really say about the movie? Find out on the podcast… Rating - ???/10 – Everything I Learned From Movies… April 14 – Making Contact (1985) Roland Emmerich makes movies… scratch that, he makes Hollywood blockbuster FILMS… usually in the disaster genre because it’s big special effects, questionable story & situations, but we tend to love them anyway… even the REALLY bad ones. Ever wonder what his first movie was? Well, it’s on Tubi… and it’s in the mid-80’s after E.T. & Poltergeist made a bunch of money… so this story starts off with a funeral where a boy has just lost his father… but he then starts communicating with his deceased father on a glowing toy phone… and stumbles upon a possessed ventriloquist doll… and now the boy has telekinetic powers… and hijinx ensue. Is it a coherent movie? Sort of… The special effects and stuff are actually pretty decent for a movie made in the mid-80’s on a shoestring budget… but yeah, there’s a lot of head-scratching in this movie… Rating – 8/10 – That being said… worth a watch if you like that 80’s movies feel… it steals from ALL the big hits of the time! Getting close to my birthday road trip with the wife & dog through Southern Utah... Perhaps I'll post pictures here... or on Facebook at @EILFMovies to be safe! See you next week! Steve
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Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
May 2024
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