Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Getting close to that southern Utah trip... but until then... April 15 – Shadowzone (1990) Full Moon Productions brings you the tale of scientists (James Hong & Louise Fletcher) who are experimenting with Extreme Deep Sleep for space exploration purposes… but accidentally find that they’ve opened a dimension containing a creature that can make your worst fears come true! By the way, this is totally not a scientific Freddy Krueger so don’t even start… but it IS one of those movies that is in one location (secret underground bunker in this case, not a space station in the depths of space or an underwater facility or something like that) so you know those are my favorite kind of ISOLATION tales. This movie isn’t… bad… it’s just kind of horribly paced & I started dozing off at a lot of points. I admire that it maximizes the tension (and minimizes the budget) by not even showing a LOT of the creatures or kills off-screen and stuff like that but… man, it kind of shows you why they went that way towards the end… and I even liked the actual creature when it came out… just on a budget. Lo Pan & Kai Wynn (Hong & Fletcher) are their usual greatness… Rating – 8/10 – Real potential but… yeah, pacing issues for me personally April 16 – The Dead Pit (1989) Director Brett Leonard (Lawnmower Man & Virtuosity) has his first movie on Tubi… and it’s about a woman with amnesia being placed into a mental institution… and then a weird ghost surgeon starts making people disappear… or is it all in her mind?!? No… because the first scene is 20 years earlier when the head doctor of the institution kills a surgeon who was doing weird experiments and had a DEAD PIT in the basement… but he killed the surgeon & buried the pit never revealing to anyone… so then why are these things happening now?!? The story is… whatever… but you definitely see how somebody saw this movie & gave Leonard plenty of work with his use of effects, tension in some scenes, and frankly… the lead actress Cheryl Lawson (stuntwoman by trade) is not only VERY easy on the eyes (even a few questionable moments where white T-shirts, lack of undergarments & even firehoses are implemented) but she’s also KILLING IT as a woman who has amnesia & switching between different characters & mentalities. I’m surprised I haven’t seen her in more things (other than stunts in some major motion pictures). Rating – 9/10 – Never really a dull moment… and the finale is the kind of trashy awesomeness that I really enjoy! April 17 – Scanners (1981) The Cronenberg classic about people with special psychic powers called “Scanners”, where there’s a corporation trying to utilize & monetize them… and an underground movement of Scanners (led by the ultra-powerful Michael Ironside) who want to eliminate those that don’t join them & take over the world. Obviously the movie starts off GREAT with the head explosion scene that everybody knows… and though the lead actors (Stephen Lack & Jennifer O’Neill) are really not charismatic, they don’t need to be for the story since they’re supposed to be reclusive and/or sheltered individuals… and the score & pacing is really good at setting that tone where you feel like your head might explode… but yeah, Ironside is the best part… and it’s a great movie that people should watch if they haven’t already. Rating – 9/10 – One of the many reasons that Cronenberg is an institution now… and even his son April 18 – White Pop Jesus (1980) This was another Satanic Temple Movie Night watch… and it’s basically an Italian Jesus Christ Superstar… where basically Jesus comes back during modern (80’s Italy) times & through basically wandering around… surrounds himself in followers (mostly busty women who desperately want to feel his warm salvation all over their faces) & takes on the mafia… or really some sort of weirdly violent corporation or something? It was the subtitled version and… honestly, I had a lot of fun watching this movie! The songs were… catchy & ridiculous so for being a bad VHS rip of an Italian musical (oddly similar to Bollywood at points), I found myself enjoying it. Rating – 8/10 – Musicals typically aren’t my thing… or Jesus movies… but this one worked. April 19 – Born to Be Wild (1995) I had never seen this movie because… well, there was another ape that knows sign language movie that caught my interest at 14 years old that summer… and it’s CONGO!!! Basically this one is about a a-hole kid whose mom punishes him by making him work with her on gorilla research… and then a flea market owner calls his lease back on the gorilla & the kid breaks the gorilla out & they go on a road trip to sweet freedom in Canada. Friend of the podcast John C McGinley shows up towards the end because… he was in a few 0% on Rotten Tomatoes movies in the mid-90s but… he’s great! The movie is… actually not horrible… but I think the #1 problem is that the tone is ALL over the place. Whimsically dumb kids show… meets trying to be a drama about troubled kids with separated parents… and then just a weird haphazard string of circumstances that go nowhere… but yeah, I’ve seen FAR worse ape movies. Rating – 7/10 – Not great… but definitely not the worst… and streaming everywhere for free. Check it out & let me know what you think! April 20 – Scanners II: The New Order (1991) After watching the original Scanner for the first time through, I was curious how the sequels would compare. In this one from Quebecer director Christian Duguay (Screamers) we pick up 20-25 years after the original & there’s this kid going to medical school… and he has scanner abilities… and then he finds out that the government has taken over for the corporation from the first movie & now THEY’RE using scanners for their own nefarious plots (mostly assassination & mind reading). It’s basically shot like a film noir a lot of the time… and the best performance is from the villain Peter Drak (played by Raoul Max Trujillo) as he hams it up knowing what movie he’s in. Rating – 8/10 – Not the original, but honestly not too bad… just a little slow at spots April 21 – Scanners III: The Takeover (1991) That’s right… later that same year comes the 3rd installment from the same director… and I think he basically said “Screw it! I’m not getting to do a 4th installment, let’s crank it up to 11!!!” In this one, we start off with a scanner guy in his early 20s accidentally killing his friends… so he goes off to a Thai monastery. His sister finds out that she has scanner powers… and luckily her dad is developing this drug that makes them stronger… and within a week she goes from a meek pretty thing to a goddamn X-Men villainess… and there’s only one scanner that might be powerful enough to stop her… but he’s in Thailand. What happens throughout this movie… is craziness that’s fun & has to be seen… I REALLY enjoyed it… Rating – 10/10 – Can’t wait to talk about this one again on the podcast with others… it’s crazy fun! Until next time, true believers... Steve
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Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
May 2024
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