April Movies - Week 4

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Off to our Southern Utah road trip... so until our return... here are a few movies we watched...

April 22 – Undeclared War (1990)
 
During our trip to Cincinnati, homey Michael Bagford took us to a record shop that had a Vinegar Syndrome movie section… and he had mentioned that he really enjoyed this one… so Izzy bought it for $35 because she has seemingly limitless funds at her disposal (me). I knew NOTHING about this movie… but basically think “Rush Hour” where a Hong Kong Special Branch cop (Danny Lee) and a CIA agent (Peter Liapsis) team up to bring down a master of disguise terrorist (Vernon Wells) and Olivia Hussey is involved too. From acclaimed action director Ringo Lam (Maximum Risk, Replicant, In Hell) and yeah… this movie did not disappoint at all. Vernon Wells is a treasure as the villain… the action is great… it’s what you want it to be & there are some turns the movie takes that are hilarious & great.
 
Rating – 9/10 – It does drag at some spots where there’s no action… but yeah, give it a watch!
 
April 23 – Destroyer (1988)
 
Tubi recommended this one about a serial murderer (Lyle Alzado) who’s executed in the opening scene… and then we cut to 18 months later where a movie crew (including director Anthony Perkins) are making a schlock film in the now-abandoned prison… and hijinx ensue when the murderer… apparently didn’t die!!! Yup, Lyle Alzado as a maniacal killer months before his untimely death in a prison setting… it’s what you expect.
 
Rating – 8/10 – That being said… it’s a lot of fun with Anthony Perkins playing the director & Deborah Forman (April Fool’s Day) as a stuntwoman
 
April 24 – Hell Baby (2013)
 
This one was recommended by my friend Kaliecia who lives in New Orleans… and you find out why immediately as it’s a comedy about an expecting couple (Rob Corddry & Leslie Bibb) who move into a haunted house in New Orleans… but when it becomes apparently that the wife is possessed & having the devil’s baby… the Vatican is called in! This also stars Paul Scheer, Keegan Michael Key, Rob Huebel, Michael Ian Black & starring/directed by Reno 911’s Robert Ben Garant & Thomas Lennon. My favorite part is probably Keegan Michael Key’s character because… having been to the Big Easy a few times… I know a few of these people who randomly pop up in your house & seem to be your best friends though you barely know them.
 
Rating – 9/10 – A lot of fun poking fun at the exorcism genre… check it out!
 
April 25 – Mean Guns (1997)
 
Director Albert Pyun (RIP) has made some strongly entertaining movies (Cyborg, Blast, etc.) so when I found out there was a movie where crime lord Ice T corrals 100 of his enemies into a new prison to have them fight it out over $10 million… I was in! Wait, Christopher Lambert is the star?!? DOUBLE IN!!! There’s definitely some great parts to this movie (the action primarily) but there’s also a LOT of extra stuff that doesn’t need to be there making it a full two hours. The pacing is bad. There are plot twists that don’t make any sense. Overly dramatic slow motion that leads to nothing. That being said, if you watch this movie at 1.5x speed or something, it’d be quite fun at times.
 
Rating – 6/10 – Not nearly as good as the potential
 
April 26 – Deathcheaters (1976)
 
Friend of the podcast Brian Trenchard-Smith brings you this amazing tale of two best friend / Vietnam vets / stuntmen (John Hargreaves & Grant Page) are recruited by the Australian government to take out a fortress in the Philippines. Okay, actually that’s like the last 30 minutes of the movie. The first hour is their witty hijinx as stuntmen & being general badasses in high speed chases & practicing for other stunts. This movie is great action fun… and the dialogue is surprisingly witty in an Aussie way. I can’t recommend this movie enough for a fun action watch.
 
Rating – 9/10 – It’s not going to be for everybody… but it should be.
 
April 27 – Stunt Rock (1978)
 
Also on the “Man from Hong Kong” Blu Ray from Umbrella Entertainment (like “Deathcheaters”) comes the BTS tale of real life stuntman Grant Page coming to Los Angeles to do a few stunts, have some fun, and hang out with his cousin who’s in the band Sorcery… that has a full live magician stage show with their rock concert!!! That’s basically the plot. Along the way, Grant explains why he’s a stuntman to a reporter (played by Brian Trenchard-Smith’s wife of 48 years) and we got a LOT of flashbacks to past stunts that he did, while also mixing in some new ones in her presence. Is it a great movie? I mean… it’s more like a compilation of Sorcery music videos & Family Guy-esque cuts of flashbacks like “it reminds me of that time I nearly died on the set of Mad Dog Morgan” but… I find it entertaining as all hell.
 
Rating – 8/10 – That being said, the music of Sorcery isn’t great… and that’s half the movie. You see why they add the magic show.
 
April 28 – Neon Maniacs (1986)
 
Another Tubi recommendation where a woman in San Francisco is hanging out with her friends near the Golden Gate Bridge one night… and a bunch of homicidal demon monsters show up & kill everyone else but she gets away! The authorities don’t believe her at all… and then more people go missing… and another teenage boy & preteen girl meet up with her to find out what they are & how to stop them. Now… the monsters & practical effects in this one… are actually pretty dang good. It’s a good quick 90 minute horror flick that you’ll probably enjoy if you like the genre… but while a lot of people in this didn’t do anything else, it’s also the debut of Andrew Divoff (Blast & Wishmaster) who plays the evil doctor demon.
 
Rating – 9/10 – Definitely worth a watch if you’re the fan of the genre
 
April 29 – Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)
 
WHAT?!? A movie before 1981?!? Shut up… yes, the movie that catapulted the Jane Crawford-Bette Davis feud into the stuff of legend… where the now-grown Baby Jane Hudson (Bette Davis) is taking care of her paraplegic older sister (Jane Crawford) but then… she basically starts losing her mind big time & keeps her a prison in her own home while deciding to eliminate her completely. This movie… is really good. Sure, it’s a slooooooow pace at points because it was made 60+ years ago but still suspenseful. The only real drawback is… look… Izzy & I were both watching this & screaming “SAY SOMETHING!!!” to the imprisoned sister when people were visiting or outside her window and… for whatever reason, she did nothing… so we pretty much lost a lot of empathy for her… but that may just be our mentality. Other than that, there’s a reason it’s a classic & now we want to watch the “Feud” series where their feud is brought to you by the creators of “American Crime Story”.
 
Rating – 9/10 – SAY SOMETHING!!!!!!
 
April 30 – Island of Terror (1966)
 
This was a Peter Cushing movie that… I don’t think was Hammer Films but definitely had that sort of feel to it… but on a budget. Basically there’s this remote island town where these creatures show up that look like turtle shells with a tentacle… that liquefies bones of all it touches… and they’re multiplying at an exponential rate. How will they stop them? Honestly… I didn’t really care by the time they figured it out… but it was kind of fun to watch them try & fail a bunch of times.
 
Rating – 6/10 – Not a whole lot to this movie… but a typical 60’s weak horror flick
 
See you in May... maybe...

​Steve