Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Apparently I was too hasty in saying that I wouldn't have time for this... because then I got my Flu & COVID booster vaccines the same day so... I had a day of rest to watch movies... so here we go...
Dec 2 – Hanna (2011)
Spoiler Alert: We’re starting off 2022 on the podcast with January’s theme of Ladies Come First… about Female Assassin movies… and we noticed a trend the last decade or so of female assassin movies with title resembling the Name Game with Hanna, Anna, Colombiana, Ava, Fanna, Fofanna… and so we’re starting it off with this 2011 chestnut that we had never seen… but oddly enough had heard nothing but great things about… and it spawned an Amazon Prime series so… we watched it… episode coming soon!
Rating – ???/10 – You’ll have to listen to the episode for details… but yeah, check it out on Hulu.
Dec 3 – Jungle Cruise (2021)
I was checking out Disney+ for the first time in a week or so… and they mentioned that Jungle Cruise was now streaming. Basically this movie looked (and was) like a mix of The Mummy, The African Queen, Pirates of the Caribbean & every movie featuring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Was it perfect? No, the tone was ALL over the place… from dad jokes to cursed souls to fart jokes to villages exploding to prejudice against women & LGBTQ to being mowed down by machine guns on a submarine… but I enjoyed it. Would I watch it again? Hmm… maybe… the “Nothing Else Matters” score was a little odd…
Rating – 8/10 – Decent fun film but… yeah, gets a little weird at times.
Dec 4 – Red Notice (2021)
Obviously we followed up The Rock with more The Rock… as Netflix recently release a movie with Him, Ryan Reynolds AND Gal Gadot… The Rock, Deadpool & Wonder Woman in a jewelry heist movie? Of course I’m in!!! This movie did not disappoint… it had everything that I could have wanted… sooooo much smart assing, action everywhere (though I’m turning into one of those “it’s all an obvious green screen so I don’t care most of the time” kind of guys) and just fun. Was the plot the greatest? Of course not… but I did like the twists & turns that came along with it.
Rating – 9/10 – It’s on Netflix… and you have it… so check it out!
Dec 5 – Absence of the Good (1999)
This one was an Amazon dive we stumbled upon after “True Crime” that has Stephen Baldwin (the best Baldwin?) as a Salt Lake City detective on the trail of a serial killer… so of course I had to watch it just to see if it was actually shot here in Utah. My final analysis: Maybe half of it seemed to be… but I definitely recognized a few neighborhoods… and I think the same street that shot “Big Love” a few years later. Oh the movie has him as a Methodist which… okay, not Mormon? Then why set in Utah? But that’s where we get the title… and it’s a dive into abusive fathers leading to serial killers & cops (basically the same thing) but… it was okay. Not the best nor the worst that I’ve seen in these investigative dramas.
Rating – 6/10 – Boring at times, the drama gets all over the place, and I’m a little mad that I called the twist jokingly… but not awful.
Dec 6 – Project Grizzly (1997)
Okay, if you liked Tiger King, then you might like this 90s documentary about a Canadian guy who was attacked by a bear a few years ago… and has made it his life’s mission to create a “Bear-proof” outfit to… I guess fight a bear? Or document it beating the sh*t out of him in this suit? They were kinda vague on what the goals were other than he & some of his hunting buddies getting together to document the suit & its contents potentially being destroyed. Now, it might be because I’ve grown up with these kinds of characters (large redneck family & redneck high school) but I enjoyed it. At first, I was trying to see if this was a serious documentary or some sort of Trailer Park Boys precursor but… it’s legit, just letting the cameras roll on an insane person.
Rating – 8/10 – You’ll know from the description if it’s your jam… and it’s like 75 minutes long.
Dec 7 – Knight Rider 2000 (1991)
Our friends Jayson & Hanae told us about this TV movie for Knight Rider a few years after the series ended now being on Netflix… so we had a late night watch party… and oh man, was it great!!! Now, first & foremost, this is definitely not RoboCop! I just want that to be clear, okay? Alright… so in the distant future of 2000, a cop is shot in cold blood in the head… and their memory is replaced with a microchip… and they continue being a cop, but then they start remembering their past life & the charmingly balding man who killed them (played by Mitch Pileggi of X Files fame in this one, instead of Kurtwood Smith) and hijinx ensue. I know what you’re thinking, “Isn’t this Knight Rider?” Barely… I mean… KITT is the microchip planted into the lady cop’s body (yes, I said lady cop) and I was really concerned that Michael (David Hasselhoff) was going to end up banging KITT cop… but more on that another time… but it really didn’t need Michael at all. I think this was some sort of pilot movie to get a spin-off Knight Rider series for the lady cop. It definitely had that tone.
Rating – 9/10 – Drunk watch with friends… there are some amazing things that caused audible chuckles throughout
Dec 8 – Scream of Fear (1961)
This one’s from the Hammer Collection and I have to say… that collection has not disappointed in the least. I highly recommend it. Anyway, in this episode, a wheelchair-bound woman in her 20s returns home to her father’s palatial estate after being away for a decade after a falling out. Her stepmother who she has never met greets her & tells her that her father had to step away on business for a few days… but almost instantly she keeps having visions of seeing her father’s dead body around the house. Hijinx ensue. Susan Strasberg, Ann Todd, Ronald Lewis, Christopher Lee, all give great performances… definitely a great tense thriller if you want to check it out.
Rating – 9/10 – This collection has been great… and I thought the twist was going a similar way… and then it REALLY twisted.
Dec 9 – The Stranglers of Bombay (1959)
Next was another Hammer movie set in 1830s India where a captain with the East India Trading Company is having a run-in with an organized religious cult of thieves who also strangle all of their victims, hence the title. Sounds ridiculous, right? BASED ON ACTUAL EVENTS!!! I looked into it… and this is based on the Thugee Cult of Kali… YES, the cult from “Temple of Doom” and the whole “KALI MA!!!” thing… except instead of ripping out your fiery heart in a PG-rated movie, they would strangle their victims with silk scarves. It also lasted for centuries, killing potentially MILLIONS of people!!! It’s where we get the term “Thug” from… this blew my f**king mind when it all clicked together! Anyway, as for the movie, it’s pretty damn good. My one criticism (besides the brownface) is that for plot purposes, nobody believed the captain about the strangling cult because… you know, that couldn’t possibly (old white rabble) and there was a LOT of plot armor but… yeah, I enjoyed it, especially for a 60+ year old movie.
Rating – 8/10 – Definitely worth a watch, just get the Hammer collection.
I'm also well on my way to next week's post so... prepare your loins?
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing