December Movies - Week 2

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Another week of great (and not so great) movies! Gearing up for the Holidays!!!

December 8 – The Last Dragon (1985)
 
This movie is a hood classic on the level of like… Karate Kid for crackers or something. We meet a young man named Leroy who… may be autistic, but he’s obsessed with being a kung fu master like Bruce Lee. He’s been training for years… and his Master has told him that he needs to see a new Master’s wisdom… title card. Along the way, he runs into a mean kung fu master of the neighborhood Shonuff who wants to beat him down in order to have a stranglehold on the neighborhood… and there’s a video DJ chick (Vanity) who he sees & instantly falls in love with… but she’s wrapped up in some weird music executive’s plot to force her to get his girlfriend’s Cindy Lauper-esque videos on her show but… anyway, hijinx ensue. I really enjoy this movie… and I know it’s not the greatest story ever. Leroy’s little brother was a breath of fresh air as somebody who’s not completely insane… definitely worth a watch if just for the 80’s soundtrack.
 
Rating – 9/10 – I wouldn’t say a hood classic… but definitely a “you should see it”
 
December 9 – Robot Holocaust (1987)
 
This was an early MST3K episode about a post-apocalyptic future where humans are basically controlled by robot overlords… who are also led by The Dark One, which I guess is some sort of all-powerful demon or something? Anyway, when the human’s best scientist is captured, then a group of humans led by his daughter go on a quest to save him… oh & there’s a beautiful woman who can’t really speak who’s given the most dialogue in this movie as some sort of human who flips switches for the Dark One dressed like Mia Sara in “Legend”? It’s a weird one… and it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever… but MST3K helps.
 
Rating – 7/10 – I have a high standard for my post-apocalyptic movies!
 
December 10 – Star Hunter (1996)
 
This is a Predator rip-off from director Fred Olen Ray but is about a busload of teenagers taking a wrong turn into the wrong part of town… and run into Roddy McDowall… who apparently is scout for an alien race that hunts humans. Also along for the ride is the bus driver Stella Stevens & a teenage Zach Ward… but probably the most memorable thing about this is that the “Star Hunter” is obviously the Saurod outfit from “Masters of the Universe” that’s been bleached a little bit (or that may have been the film quality?). We watched the Rifftrax version and that helped… but it’s not the worst that I’ve ever seen.
 
Rating – 7/10 – Give it a gander if you like the genre… but Roddy McDowall is the biggest name so you know what you’re getting
 
December 11 – Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas Special (2022)
 
Disney+ has another special Marvel presentation… and it’s about the crew from Guardians of the Galaxy looking to cheer Star Lord up because… well, he’s been through a lot the past few movies with his girlfriend dying, finding out his long last dad was a living planet… and then had to kill him, and that’s without even realizing that he almost destroyed existence because he couldn’t keep his cool & follow simple instructions. So what do they do? Kidnap Earth’s greatest hero, Kevin Bacon, of course! Hijinx ensue…
 
Rating – 8/10 – I had a great time with it… but yeah, it’s just a fun skit for a few laughs
 
December 12 – The Crawling Eye (1958)
 
The first episode of MST3K on nationwide television… and it’s about a bunch of deaths by decapitation being investigated in the Alps… and it seems to be connected to this mysterious radioactive cloud that doesn’t seem to move (“Nope” you HACKS?!?). Hijinx ensue… and man is it entertaining with MST3K but the movie itself would have just dragged… and then picked up with funny effects in the 3rd act.
 
Rating – 7/10 – Watch the MST3K version… trust me
 
December 13 – The Galaxy Invader (1985)
 
Another MST3K episode… and oddly enough, another Predator rip-off… but more like AVP: Requiem maybe. How? Hillbillies see an alien spaceship crash… so they go to get rich off it or kick its butt! Hijinx ensue. The alien kind of looks like the Creature from the Black Lagoon… some of the male characters are completely over-the-top horrible character stereotypes (drunk dad who nobody puts in his place really) but yeah, it’s not a great flick… but hilarious with jokes added!
 
Rating – 7/10 – Watch the MST3K version… again, trust me
 
December 14 –  R.O.T.O.R. (1987)
 
The same year as RoboCop comes the story of a company developing robotic android cops, with a lead scientist that looks like Peter Weller honestly, but then the android goes on a killing spree when somebody speeds. Sounds like a sweet movie, right? Well… there are definitely parts of this movie that I liked. There’s some action… but it’s really stilted at times. The acting isn’t the greatest. You may be shocked to know that most of the actors involved with this movie were only involved with this. Overall though, not a horrible watch.
 
Rating – 7/10 – I’d watch it again with friends… some parts are just hilariously bad… which is why I recommend the Rifftrax version

More fun & merriment on the way!!!

​Steve