Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Hope that you all had a Merry Christmas & epic holiday season in general... here are a few quick movie reviews from this past week to keep you happy while you're hopefully self-isolating & staying safe out there...
Dec 24 – No Time to Die (2021)
That’s right, the highly anticipated (at least three years ago) James Bond movie was apparently released in theaters… but we were okay with waiting… and now it’s on DVD so we got it through Netflix! The final chapter of the Daniel Craig saga has him going up against… what basically turns out to be a heavily scarred Dr. No complete with his own island fortress and the ultimate designer virus assassin. Did you not know that from the trailer? Because we did… three years ago…
Rating – 8/10 – It was okay… Ana de Armas’ scene was pretty fun & action packed… but a lot of drama… and the McGuffin is omnipotent
Dec 25 – Anna (2019)
Yup, another Luc Besson female assassin movie for January’s theme! This one features real-life supermodel Sasha Luss as a woman who gets pulled into the KGB as an assassin & gets caught up into a world of being a supermodel by day & assassin by night. There are LOTS of time jumps, wigs, wardrobe changes, all the usual stuff you’d expect… but there’s also a fight scene in the middle that’s worth the price of admission & plenty of intrigue. Might just be a little too long… and did I mention that Luke Evans, Helen Mirren & Cillian Murphy are in it? How have you not heard about it? Well… Luc Besson got in some trouble around the time they were marketing it so… maybe check it out!
Rating – 8/10 – For a female assassin movie, you could so a lot worse! Give Sasha Luss some work!
Dec 26 – Die Hard (1988)
We spent Christmas Eve & Christmas Day watching Christmas movies… so why not start with one of the best? Now I know there’s a controversy out there about it being a Christmas movie… but that whole argument is that it’s not about Santa Claus or a bunch of ghosts. If you want to be a dumbass about it, then all of those f**king Hallmark movies your mom watches aren’t Christmas movies just because they happen around Christmas but are about… mostly mental illness and/or poor communication from what I’ve seen of them. This one is Christmas all f**king day! FFS his wife’s name is Holly!!! Now I have a machine gun ho-ho-ho! The setting is a Christmas party on Christmas eve! Christmas music throughout! Case closed.
Rating – 10+/10 – Alan Rickman is a good damn treasure & it was reassuring to see Bruce Willis back when he gave a sh*t
Dec 27 – Jingle All the Way (1996)
This is one of Izzy’s favorites… but not one of mine. I never liked the whole point of it being about getting a f**king toy or else his son won’t love him or whatever… and then it gets weird & violent & illegal about getting it. That being said… probably my favorite part is the underground Santa’s workshop segment because that’d totally be my angle with this situation. So what can I possibly rate this Sinbad vehicle starring young Anakin & a dad with a thick Austrian accent in suburbia Minneapolis?
Rating – 7/10 – Not my bag… but I do enjoy parts… even Sinbad’s throwaway lines hit from time to time… like batting average
Dec 28 – Muppets Christmas Carol (1992)
By far the best version of this Christmas classic tale that isn’t about Santa or baby Jesus but is apparently undisputedly Christmas because it’s in the title… though it’s about a rich man’s battle with dementia & his own conscience. Michael Caine is a treasure, the Muppets are great, even the songs aren’t too bad because it basically fills it out to 85 minutes or whatever.
Rating – 10/10 – Like I said, the best version of a classic. Now on Disney+
Dec 29 – Scrooged (1988)
Possibly the only competition for Muppets Christmas Carol, this movie always gets me. I hadn’t seen the first few minutes in a while with the fake TV stuff that I love… but Karen Allen is adorable, Bill Murray is incredible, Bobcat bangs in his scenes, Carol Kane, great effects, just incredible.
Rating – 10/10 – There are a few problematic parts upon rewatching… but still enjoy like no other.
Dec 30 – A Castle for Christmas (2021)
Netflix has been pumping out Christmas movies now… and we saw an ad for one that has Suddenly Susan (Brooke Shields) as a rich romance author who goes away to a Scottish castle where her grandpa worked a few generations ago, falls in love with the place, and buys it from the lord Scottish Robin Hood (Cary Elwes) and hijinx ensue in a rom-com fashion. This movie was pretty decent for the genre… and even a little sweet… until the quickest & most pointless character turn in modern movie history, seriously they were mid romance montage & then he turns erratically… but whatever, spoilers, it all works out in the end.
Rating – 8/10 – Not my favorite genre, but I’d highly recommend it if it’s yours
I guess this will be my last entry of 2021... so I just want to wish you all the best in the coming 2022 and beyond... and I'll see you later!
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing