January Movies - Week 2
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Man, time is flying... we're already almost three weeks into 2023 & I feel like I've done nothing but watch movies & work... oh well...
January 12 – The Hideous Sun Demon (1958)
An atomic research scientist is involved in an accident… and now whenever he’s in the sun, he transforms into a murderous reptilian creature… and then immediately returns to human once he’s back in the shade. Pretty easy peasy, right? Just stay indoors… NOPE! Instead this guy goes barhopping & picking up on a blonde lounge singer who may be owned by a Mafioso pimp… takes her to the beach… oh no, sunrise! Repeat this kind of stupid stuff a few more times until the body count rises… then some other scientists come to cover for him like “It’s not his fault” but it 100% is! Yeah, it’s a Rifftrax… but just like any other bad 50’s sci-fi monster movie.
Rating – 5/10 – Despite being absolutely horrible plotwise, at least it’s quick about it & doesn’t drag out more than 70 minute or so
January 13 – Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)
This movie starts off with a first-person POV scene of a man being awoken by his daughter because there are monsters in the house… and it ends up being JCVD & a few goons who then execute his wife & daughter in front of him. Now this man John (Scott Adkins) is on the vengeance warpath… and hijinx ensue. Now, this movie is entirely too long thanks to a lack of editing & overuse of slow motion… however, I enjoyed it because… okay, I’m certain this wasn’t a Universal Soldier movie when it was written. This was about a cult or something that used mind control & had strong elements of David Lynch with just messing with strobes, perception, changing memories, amnesia… and then instead of cult members they’re like “Oh no, they’re Universal Soldiers who just die a lot easier… because I know JCVD & can get Dolph Lundgren too as long as they’re not in any scenes together” (honestly, Dolph is in three scenes anyway, I think).
Rating – 9/10 – I enjoyed it as a cap to the UniSol UniVerse but… it’s not the ridiculous fun of the first (and some sequels)
January 14 – The Big Lebowski (1998)
I did not like this movie the first time I saw it in 2000 or 2001 late one night at a friend’s house. I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe because it’s a little slow & the jokes are subtle and parts of it just have people screaming over one another. That being said, I watched it again around 2004… and then again… and then again… and now it’s probably one of my favorite movies. It’s about a slacker (Jeff Bridges) known as the Dude & he gets caught up in a kidnapping plot… and hijinx ensue. Just watch it.
Rating – 10+/10 – I meant what I said… it’s now easily in my Top 5 Movies of All Time
January 15 – The Woman King (2022)
This film is based upon the Dahomey Amazons in Africa… and is set in the 1820’s if I remember right… but essentially it’s the story of a general in the Dahomey army (Viola Davis) and how they attempt to transition from slavery as a chief export to palm oil… but there’s European forces, other tribes… and for some reason Hollywood thinks it has to throw in a mother-daughter angle… and they just f**king don’t. That being said… hijinx ensue… and this movie was great aside from all of the emotional baggage that they try to throw in. You have a female army fighting to protect their way of life… you don’t need kids involved, it’s implied. Also, I couldn’t stop thinking about Capt. Wanda from “Congo” whenever the king (John Boyega) spoke… but he does a great job as well.
Rating – 10/10 – Go check it out!
January 16 – Invasion of the Animal People (1959)
This was an MST3K watch about group of scientists in Switzerland… sorry, Lapland… and they’re investigating a meteor that hit there… but it ends up being an alien vessel… and they release a yeti on them? Yeah, it’s a 50’s sci-fi thing. The acting isn’t great or anything… but good to make fun of.
Rating – 4/10 – Almost nothing made any sense in this movie & it’s 50% stock footage of a plane flying
January 17 – The Human Duplicators (1965)
This was another MST3K watch about a giant alien (Richard Kiel unshaven) who’s mission is to take over Earth by teaming with an earthling scientist to create “duplicates” of humans that they capture (or get DNA from or something?) and turning them into zombies that do their bidding. One catch though… some white guy is going to try to stop them… oh, and the zombies are apparently made out of porcelain or something & break with the greatest of ease.
Rating – 7/10 – Still kind of a fun, dumb movie… and I support Richard Kiel getting work as a fellow giant
January 18 – Legionnaire (1998)
Yes, we are celebrating Jean Claude Van January again on the podcast (almost out of movies for him honestly) and this one has him as a French boxer who pisses off mobsters and gets away from them by joining the French Foreign Legion, who then immediately send him to Morocco for training & hijinx ensue. This movie has a very “Lawrence of Arabia” feel to it with practical fighting on actual locations & that really comes through. The actors look legit miserable at points & joyous at others with even small victories. The story is a little “Really?” at points but overall, worth a watch.
Rating – 8/10 – Beautifully shot & prime straight to video era JCVD
See you next week!!!
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Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing