Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
It's that odd time of year here in Utah where it can dump a foot or two of snow overnight... and then be in the mid-50's the rest of the week... and the only constant is that half the people you know are sick & the other half are waiting to be or will never admit it... but still... I watch movies... January 26 – Elvis (2022) So we finally set aside 2.5 hours to watch Tom Hanks play a villain with a funny accent & Austin Butler in the role that got him Feyd Rautha in Dune 2… and from the opening minutes… you know this is a Baz Luhrman production!!! This biopic of Elvis Aron Presley is… over-the-top, fairly preposterous, loosely based on events that happened in reality, SO MUCH MAKEUP ON EVERYBODY ALL THE TIME, quite racist in a lot of incidental walls (but that was the 50’s & 60’s), but also… the story that it tells (though again, loosely based in reality) wasn’t horrible. It’s more a movie about the huckster Colonel Parker (Hanks) taking advantage of a talented young artist & exploiting him and the music industry to get his ends… and then trying to convince the audience that it was all their fault that he died… because he did it all for the fans… and if there were no fans, then Elvis would still be alive. Bold! Rating – 8/10 – I enjoyed it for the dark fairy tale that it was… knowing that it’s all BS… but Izzy did not enjoy it… knowing that it’s all BS… January 27 – Ghosts of Mars (2001) Director John Carpenter’s official “FU” to Hollywood where cops on Mars (Martian cops?) played by Jason Statham, Natasha Henstridge, Pam Grier, Clea Duvall & others go to an outpost to transport the dangerous criminal James “Desolation” Williams (Ice Cube) but… when they get into town… everybody’s gone… and then they’re found… either headless & hanging upside-down, or turned into some bloodthirsty zombie Mad Max group possessed by the ancient Martian ghosts that had long since been buried in the bowels of the planet… but were mined out & are doing everything they can to kill the invaders of their planets (earthlings). Sound preposterous? It was intended to!!! I haven’t even mentioned the breathing goggles. This movie is kind of a mix of Assault on Precinct 13, The Fog, Escape from NY, all the Carpenter classics… but they went to space and it’s tongue in cheek, right? I hope so… because otherwise it’s absolutely preposterous that this movie got made. Rating – 8/10 – Lots of things that I like about the movie… but there are definitely things that’re out there. BREATHING! GOGGLES!!! January 28 – Solo (1996) I remember seeing this movie in theatres when it came out… but it’s basically Mario Van Peebles as a military robot soldier (universal soldier?) who escapes when he’s able to be disassembled after getting a conscience… and general William Sadler is sent to take him out. He befriends a village in Central America to help them with their own dictator situation… and hijinx ensue. Now… this is not a great movie… but it’s okay & dumb fun. MVP does a decent job of being an emotionless robot. Sadler is great as a prick. Academy Award winner Adrian Brody shows up as a scientist! Rating – 8/10 – I’d watch it again… and you might hear about it on the podcast one day January 29 – Conan the Barbarian (2011) Jason Momoa stars in this remake of the tale of Conan made famous by Schwarzenegger… and Stephen Lang is the big baddie, Rose McGowan is the witch daughter, Rachel Nichols is the virginal hottie, personal favorite Nathan Jones shows up for a cup of coffee… it’s not a bad movie, just really PG-13. It doesn’t go necessarily hard or soft either… it’s just kind of middling… but I still enjoy it because Sword & Sandals is my genre. Rating – 8/10 – I’d recommend it if somebody likes the original Conan… but it’s more Conan the Destroyer January 30 – Highlander: Endgame (2000) The 4th installment of the Highlander saga… that came out after SIX seasons of the TV series and combined both Highlanders (Adrian Paul & Christopher Lambert) along with a bunch of random actors (Donnie Yen, Bruce Payne, Damon Dash, etc) when the ultimate Immortal Kell cames after them for his convoluted revenge! Okay, this MAY be the best Highlander SEQUEL movie… but when you don’t really have competition as far as a decently made movie, then that’s what it’s saying. The movie itself is kind of head-scratchingly dumb… but there are elements that are decent. The Paul-Yen fight scene is legit… there’s stronger storytelling elements in this movie as opposed to the TV series… although there’s also things that completely contradict not just Immortals lore, but the TV series completely… so how do I rate it? Rating - ???/10 – Find out on Everything I Learned From Movies, available on all major podcatchers January 31 – Highlander: The Source (2007) The 5th installment… in the not-too-distant apocalyptic future, planets are aligning and stuff… and there’s the Guardian of the mysterious mythological SOURCE… and now some Immortals want to find it… before it’s too late… and apparently Duncan MacLeod (Adrian Paul) doesn’t want to… but YET ANOTHER EX-WIFE is apparently having visions about The Source… so he comes along… and hijinx ensue. This movie is f**king rough. I believe I read it was a Sci-Fi Channel movie and the budget kinda shows… but oh boy… Rating - ???/10 – Hear all about it on the Podcast!!! You know it’s Highlander Month!!! What's coming up in February?!? Random movies with great guests on the podcast, Chinese New Year + Super Bowl + Mardi Gras + Valentines Day in a four day period, visitors, a Leap Year, all kinds of fun stuff I don't even know about yet... see you there!!! Steve
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Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
December 2024
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