Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Been a busy few weeks with an INCREDIBLE trip to Cincinnatti, Columbus, Cleveland & Pittsburgh meeting podcasters & seeing the sights along the way... oh and LOTS of beer... but here are some movies that we caught along the way... more pictures & stuff later...
June 13 – The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)
This Rifftrax on the other hand was a treat! Check it out on Tubi… but basically a meteor lands in a cornfield or something… and there’s these little geodes that have spiders inside of them… and one of them grows HUGE while the others are just spiders that make cobwebs appear instantly… and the Skipper from Gilligan’s Island is the dimwitted sheriff… and there’s some great bad hillbilly takes including spousal abuse & “Kids these days” shenanigans… and then when the GIANT SPIDER shows up it gets great… just like “Wild Wild West”!!!
Rating – 8/10 – It’s a 10’er on the Rifftrax version but just a silly dumb horror movie otherwise.
June 14 – The Castle of Fu Manchu (1969)
This was the 5th & last time that the great Christopher Lee portrayed Dr. Fu Manchu… and it stars a bunch of the Hammer character actors… and there’s some ridiculous plot about a scientist under Dr. Fu Manchu’s control that has something that’s going to freeze the world’s oceans so he has a strangehold on the opium trade (?) but… yeah, it’s rough. That being said… if I heard that Nicolas Cage was going to play Dr. Fu Manchu in an upcoming movie… I’m 10,000% behind that project! It’d be great! He perfected Wicker Man, now let him have a crack at another Christopher Lee project. Heck, he’s Dracula in an upcoming movie! This makes too much sense!
Rating – 7/10 – Kinda schlocky… but you know what you’re getting into…
June 15 – Deathstalker & the Warriors of Hell (1988)
Okay, this wasn’t my first time watching the 3rd installment of the Deathstalker saga… but it’s on Tubi so we checked out the Rifftrax version… and it’s a sword & sandal movie about a guy and a princess who dies… but she has a sister… and there are wizards that do things… some necromancy… blah blah blah. So I was watching this movie & thought “I wonder what this princess has been up to since this movie? Maybe she’ll be on the podcast” as you know… we interview people in the movie industry. Well… her name is Carla Sands… and she was Ambassador to Denmark and CURRENTLY RUNNING FOR SENATOR IN PENNSYLVANIA!!! So… maybe?
Rating – 7/10 – The movie is fun to watch for how crazy it is… but that’s about it. The evil wizard guy is fun to watch!
June 16 – Thor the Conqueror (1983)
So while we were watching John Wayne’s “The Conqueror” a few months back, I was looking it up but stumbled upon this Italian movie… and oh boy! This is a Conan knock-off that has a weird wizard narrator… lots of male chauvinism… ridiculous violence & nudity… and Thor’s father’s name is Kunt! As for the plot… Thor’s dad is killed by an archer (after baby Thor is HIT WITH AN ARROW) and we skip to Thor being fully grown & deciding that he wants vengeance… but after spreading his seed & conquering a land by himself… and the ghost of the wizard that raised him is… kinda there? It’s a rough watch…
Rating – 4/10 – Would not really recommend… even as an Italian low-budget flick. Best part was baby getting hit with an arrow.
June 17 – Planet of Dinosaurs (1977)
While Izzy’s mom was visiting, we watched some Rifftrax including this one about a crew that crashes on a planet… full of dinosaurs. That’s basically the plot. Half the movie is them walking around or bitching about whatever… but oh man, when the Claymation dinosaurs show up, that’s when things get GREAT!!!
Rating – 7/10 – You REALLY have to like Claymation dinosaurs to enjoy this… unless Rifftrax guys are making jokes, of course! 10/10 with them!
June 18 – Code Name: Diamond Head (1977)
This was a TV movie that wanted to be the next Hawaii Five-0 but… it didn’t take off. I don’t know who Roy Thinnes is but… he’s no James Garner or Tom Selleck or really anybody else who’s had a successful TV show. He plays a CIA agent who gets tied up in a nerve gas heist by Ian McShane (always great, maybe he should’ve been the lead) and hijinx ensue.
Rating – 5/10 – This one really needs the Rifftrax guys helping out… but nice to see young Ian McShane.
June 19 – The Night Stalker (1972)
Yes, the movie that started the Kolchak series! Izzy & I are huge fans but we had never seen the original movie before. It’s about journalist named Kolchak (Darren McGavin) who is looking into some Las Vegas killings… and finds out that there may not just be a serial killer… but a VAMPIRE serial killer on the loose! Now… this was a TV movie… but honestly, it was VERY well done! The quality of the shots, acting, pacing, all of that was fantastic, especially for only being about 85 minutes or so… I highly recommend it! Gonna watch the sequel too & probably rewatch the short-lived series…
Rating – 10/10 – Fun Fact: Robert Singer was a production assistant on this movie. It was his first gig. He’s the guy that produced “Supernatural” for 15+ years.
Have a great night everybody!!!
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing