Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
I'm a day late but... here's how we finished off March...
Mar 25 - Shakma (1990)
We’re doing Ape-ril on the podcast, as you know I’m sure, and THIS movie (on Tubi) is a treasure that was shared to us by Drew of the Reel Feels Podcast. Basically a bunch of med students decide to have a live-action role playing D&D game inside of a medical school building, with Professor Roddy McDowall as the dungeon master… and a doped up baboon on the loose… and hijinx ensue! Probably the best thing about this movie is the sheer ferocity of the titular character Shakma, played by Typhoon the baboon (of “The Fly” & “Order of the Black Eagle”) as he’s tearing into the sets… and to a lesser extent people fighting off the plush doll that’s supposed to be Shakma.
Rating – 10/10 – If it weren’t for the sloooooow last 10-15 minutes, this would be a 10+ movie
Mar 26 – Nightbeast (1982)
Izzy picked this movie that come up as a suggestion on Tubi based on Shakma… and it’s about a creature that lands from outer space… and just starts tearing off heads & blasting people with his space ray in a small town… and hijinx ensue. It’s a tight 80 minutes… and the actors really weren’t in anything else… but what easily gives this movie an extra two stars from me… is probably the weirdest, yet most realistic sex scene that I’ve seen in a movie in a long time (40 year old movie). Basically the sheriff (who probably looks like your dad) and a fellow officer have to clean & stitch up after an altercation and… seriously, just watch it on Tubi. I started joking that it was going to turn to porno dialogue… and I was not disappointed.
Rating – 8/10 – That being said, the rest is kinda rough… but worth a watch if you enjoy the space monster genre with an 80’s slasher angle
Mar 27 – Nightmare Alley (2021)
Director Guillermo del Toro is a bonafide master of horror… and this latest from him is a remake from the 30’s about a drifter (Bradley Cooper) who stumbles upon a carnival, becomes wise in the carny & con man ways, and hijinx ensue once he moves to the big city to exploit others. The cast include Rooney Mara, Cate Blanchett, Richard Jenkins, Willem Dafoe, Toni Collette, Ron Perlman & many more… and I don’t want to give anything away, so just check it out on HBO Max. The movie does a great job of letting you know on the various grifts… and it really pays off.
Rating – 9/10 – Warning: It’s 2.5 hours long & you probably won’t like any character in the movie
Mar 28 – The Snake Strikes Back (1980)
Also on Tubi, we were suggested this martial arts movie… and to be honest, I think it’s about warring clans in a village… but a lot of characters looked alike except for some costuming. That being said… even though I wasn’t getting much from the story besides the basic revenge story… the fighting & acrobatics is AMAZING!!! They also throw in a super-powered belly fighting master who bestows his knowledge on the hero… and hijinx ensue!
Rating – 9/10 – The fighting is great… so at least fast forward to those parts. TUBI!!!
Mar 29 – Konga (1961)
Ape-ril back again for this classic… Doctor Decker (Michael Gough of Batman ’89) was missing in Uganda for a year… and when he comes back he has a new pet chimp named Konga… and was doing a lot of botanical research on plants that grow fast… and plans on continuing his research. Hijinx ensue when his new formula causes his chimp to be a hypnotically controlled killing machine… and then he gets out of hand!
Rating – 9/10 – If you enjoy King Kong, definitely give Konga a watch… even if just to see Michael Gough differently than just as Alfred from Batman
Mar 30 – Future Shock (1994)
This anthology movie that Izzy picked has a psychiatrist played by friend of the podcast Martin Kove using an experimental device on three patients… and we go on crazy adventures inside their heads. One of the stories has Bill Paxton as the ultimate bad roommate… another has a man who’s scared of everything… and the whole movie was believable if it were made in 1982 instead of 1994 with the film & sound quality. I mean… it’s kind of fun (especially Bill Paxton’s gaslighting performance) but most of the main characters are just… meh… and it’s hard to personify with them when they’re basically idiot p*ssies.
Rating – 4/10 – I can’t really recommend it other than the Bill Paxton part… but you can probably see a YouTube clip & save 90 minutes
Mar 31 – Spill (1996)
Another Brian Bosworth action movie that we picked up in a pack… and this one is also known as “Virus” but it’s a biological weapon that dumped in a national park… and only a former football star turned secret service agent (Bosworth) can save the day & keep thousands perhaps millions of people from dying horrifically. There’s also some twists & turns where the government is involved and blah blah blah… honestly with these movies, it’s weird that Brian Bosworth is probably the most charismatic & energetic performer since he’s a football player first & foremost. The other actors were… okay at best. The script was meh. The action was decent even if stupid… but it’s always weird that he never got a BIG shot at an action career other than “Stone Cold”… and that movie’s a 10+ any day. This was five years later but not quite as good.
Rating – 8/10 – I still enjoyed it… Bring Back the Boz!!!
More to come next week... and guess what... WE'RE COMING BACK TO BREWVIES FOR MOVIE NIGHTS!!! First one will be Wednesday, April 13th to be sure to follow us at @EILFMovies on Twitter, Facebook & Patreon for the latest!!!
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing