May Movies - Week 1

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

We're back from Southern Utah... and we've seen a few movies...

May 1 – The Lawnmower Man: Director’s Cut (1992)
 
Yup, the extended 2+ hour cut of Lawnmower Man from director Brett Leonard is on Tubi… with an extra 40 minutes or so from the theatrical cut… and honestly, I really liked it. The whole opening portion is completely different with more time for the escaping ape in the beginning… and more backstory for Jobe & his living situation… and a more subtle transition from Simple Jobe to Cybergod. You know the story, right? Local dim 20-something lawnmower (Jeff Fahey) meets up with handsome mind doctor (Pierce Brosnan) and hijinx ensue with mind experiments & VR… insert questionable CGI even for 1992 standards… but yeah, I like the theatrical cut… and I LOVE the director’s cut.
 
Rating – 9/10 – Honestly makes it feel more like a Stephen King story (though the real Stephen King story is NOTHING like this)
 
May 2 – The Mask (1961)
 
No, not the Jim Carrey one! This one has an archeologist find a mask (that I looks like a disco ball but in black & white?) and instantly feels like he’s cursed by it… and kills himself… but before he does that, he mails it to his psychologist friend… who slowly loses his mind… and every time he puts the mask on, we get some fairly decent 60’s 3D mind melting sequences driving him insane. As far as 60’s horror goes… it’s not the worst or most boring… but it’s a little silly at times too.
 
Rating – 8/10 – Some of those sequences are kind of fun & creepy… not much else will stick though
 
May 3 – The Bubble (1966)
 
New season of MST3K had this one… about a husband, his pregnant wife & a pilot pulling off an emergency landing into a city… but it seems to be a bunch of zombie-like people… and they basically stay for WEEKS trying to find a way out, including digging underground, and hijinx ensue. This was like a 90 minute Twilight Zone episode… but not one of the great ones… one of the fillers or something. Maybe if it were 22 minutes it’d hit better but there were long areas of nothing.
 
Rating – 6/10 – Kind of boring… but fun with MST3K stylings
 
May 4 – The Christmas Dragon (2014)
 
Another MST3K one about a group of medieval orphan kids who go on a journey with a poor man’s Jack Sparrow to restore magic to the land and SAVE CHRISTMAS?!? Okay, I’ll be nice… the two main girls were tolerable… but just about everybody else was questionable at best. I understand it’s not a great script or anything though, so I don’t blame them. It’s… even by Christmas movie standards… kinda ridiculous & not in a good way.
 
Rating – 5/10 – Then again, could I have done better? Probably not… feel free to pass… or watch MST3K
 
May 5 – Knock at the Cabin (2023)
 
That’s right! Time for the next M Night movie!!! I think the lowest score I’ve given since starting this thing was for “Old” a while back… because it’s horrible. Everyone has seen the commercial (and therefore the movie) where it’s four “Strangers” led by Dave Bautista dressed as a Jehovah’s Witness talking to two daddies & their tiny Asian child saying that they have to sacrifice one of them in order to save the world from the Apocalypse… and hijinx ensue. What kind of hijinx? The hijinx you expect. “No way! You’re crazy!” Something happens to prove their point. “You can deepfake that! Screw you!” Tidal wave takes out populated coastline. “COINCIDENCE!!!” And it goes from there… that being said… Bautista & some of the performances were great… which is more than I could say for “Old” and most other M Night movies. So did I enjoy this?
 
Rating – 6/10 – Meh… decent tension & great performances… but yeah, the ending is exactly what you expect from M Night… nothing good & makes any sense
 
May 6 – Plane (2023)
 
Pilot Gerard Butler & convict Mike Colter (Luke Cage) have to crash land a commercial airplane in the Phillippines… and then have to join forces to save the passengers from a terrorist group… and hijinx ensue. Is this going to be the Movie of the Year for 2023?!? Probably not… because Cocaine Bear exists… and Fast X is coming soon enough… among others. Did we enjoy it?!? Of course! It’s violent action with Jerry Butler & they’re already talking sequel!!!
 
Rating – 10/10 – Not quite a 10+ but a lot of fun… and I highly recommend.
 
May 7 – The Stunt Man (1980)
 
We’re doing this one for the podcast… but I had not heard of it before doing research for Stunt Man movies (and of course this came up given the name). Basically an escaped convict (Steve Railsbeck) evades the law… and stumbles onto a movie set where the eccentric director (Peter O’Toole) convinces the authorities that he’s one of his stuntmen… and gives him a job on his next production… but at what cost?!? Throw in Barbara Hershey as the love interest & you’ve got yourself a movie. Look… I’ve only seen Peter O’Toole in a few things… and he f**king KILLS it in this movie!!! There’s also so much action it’s hard to keep things straight… and you MUST hear all about it on the podcast… or watch it on Tubi!!!
 
Rating – 10/10 – I absolutely loved this movie!!! Great action, great performances, you have no idea what’s going to happen at any point, damn near 10+

More on the way... and thank you for reading... yes, YOU! You're the one!!!

​Steve