Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Another busy week but somehow we manage... so here are some movies we watched... May 15 – Death Proof (2007) Often brought up as one of Quentin Tarantino’s worst movies, I absolutely LOVE this half of the Grindhouse double feature where we follow the exploits of Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) as he uses his “death proof” ’70 Chevy Nova to kill groups of women in horrific fashion. Throw in a bunch of QT dialogue & stunts by the amazing Zoe Bell and you’ve got yourself one of my favorite odes to genre cinema EVER! Rating – 10/10 – Only reason it’s not a 10+? Some parts drag with dialogue (and 2007 texting exposition) and I’m waiting for the sequel “Lee & Jasper’s Wild Ride” May 16 – Marlowe (2023) Liam Neeson takes on the role of literary noir private investigator Philip Marlowe in this film from the director of “The Crying Game” & “Interview with the Vampire” and after watching it… my wife & I started to wonder… can a decent noir movie be made in a modern setting now that everybody knows all the clichés & nuances of the genre? Thinking back, LA Confidential did it well but that was 25 years ago with a host of Academy Award winning actors & filmmakers… but for every one of those, there are dozens of “meh” takes that… I mean… a beautifully shot but… the acting or the stories of whatever just don’t grab you or give you intrigue. This one especially… I honestly didn’t care what happened in the story. Some rich broad wants her husband tailed but won’t even tell the PI why… you know, to create mystery or allure somehow, but honestly… the whole movie I was like “Well, this is where I politely decline to continue investigations due to you bullsh*tting me…” but I know that’s part of the genre, which I’ve enjoyed! Rating – 5/10 – Just didn’t grab me & was really boring and pointless… but beautifully shot! May 17 – Winnie the Pooh: Blood & Honey (2023) Yup, Disney is finally getting into the horror genre… no, of course not! The copyright on the classic children’s book has lapsed & so it was IMMEDIATELY announced that this movie was coming out thanks to public domain. A bunch of girls go to a luxurious AirBNB to “get away from it all” in the 100 Acre Woods… where Pooh, Piglet (and others you won’t see) have turned into neurotic speechless killing machines like Michael Myers because… their friend Christopher Robin went off to college for a few years. Don’t worry! He’s in the movie too! It’s what you think… pointless violence, random nudity, story that with a few simple tweaks would be consistent & still terrifying, instead is just kind of a jumbled mess… and the whole time you just think “It’s a big guy in a bad Winnie the Pooh mask playing Michael Myers” and… his buddy in a boar mask. Rating – 4/10 – Was it a total loss? No, some of the kills were decent but… yeah, just kinda rough all around & obvious cash grab May 18 – Renfield (2023) Nicolas Cage + Dracula + set in New Orleans + director of The Lego Movie + Nicholas Hoult as his familiar? Absolutely! Sadly, we didn’t see this in theatres (lots of reasons) but we were finally able to watch it and… it’s everything I wanted & more! Nic Cage HAMS it the f**k up in a role that he’s always wanted to play (even pulling out the weird accent from “Vampire’s Kiss”), Nicholas Hoult is basically this generation’s Hugh Grant… but can also be funny, Awkwafina is usually the best part of bad movies & this time she was a great part of a great movie, the violence & humor was reminiscent of Matthew Vaughn, yeah… this may be the movie of the year thus far. Rating – 10+/10 – I’m giving it a 10+ because I want MORE movies like this! It’s okay to laugh everybody! There’s also a great lesson about toxic relationship buried in there… May 19 – The Adventures of the Wilderness Family (1975) This movie came up on a list of movies with bear attacks for Izzy’s June theme… and it’s about a family of four (and a SUPERDOG) leaving the city life in LA for the wilderness life of the Pacific Northwest on a whim and… hijinx ensue. Now, it’s a G-rated modern 70’s retelling of Swiss Family Robinson from the director of “Ice Pirates” & “Mac & Me” but… yeah, it’s a kid’s show. They even take in a raccoon & two bear cubs as pets… and there’s a big bear that hangs around too… and Buck Flowers shows up as a prospector or something… harmless fun unless some family out there takes it in the vein of “I could live like this in the wilderness.” Spoilers: You won’t. Rating – 7/10 – Bears are great. Animals were harmed. Acting was meh… safe for kids though May 20 – Koala Man (2023) This was an 8-episode animated run on Hulu about an ordinary man with a secret identity in Dapto, Australia… and he’s trying to enforce the law (mostly like a meter maid or something) but then hijinx ensue & he has to balance that with the family life… and he’s not a great hero at that. It’s a comedy of course… Hugh Jackman pops up as the voice of his boss Big Greg. Jemaine Clemente & Hugo Weaving are in it too… it’s not the greatest but a good poke at Australia. Rating – 8/10 – Check it out, you can watch it in about the time of a Fast & Furious movie May 21 – Magic Mike’s Last Dance (2023) Yes, the third in the Magic Mike trilogy with director Stephen Soderbergh coming back to finish the growth of Mike Lane (Channing Tatum) as he’s a man in his 40’s wandering the Earth after the global pandemic… but then stumbles into a relationship with a beautiful divorcee billionaire (Salma Hayek) & she flies him out to London to direct a strip dance show at a legendary theatre that she got in the divorce settlement… you know, tale as old as time. So he assembles his Magic Mike’s 11 (though past costars only show up in a zoom meeting for two minutes) to put the show on… while dealing with an eccentric billionaire hottie… and her pretentious daughter who won’t stop narrating during the movie trying to convince you that dance is the most important thing that has ever been invented or something… and then THEY STEAL THE ENDING FROM AN EPISODE OF IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA!!! EVEN THE CO-STAR IN THE LAST DANCE!!! It’s ridiculous… but I still had fun watching most of it. Definitely didn’t need to be almost two hours long though… we get it… he’s hot… she’s hot… they’re going to end up together. Rating – 8/10 – The last half hour is what you all paid for… Tune in next week... because we got to watch Fast X a few days before its release & we have to talk about it... but not quite yet, no spoilers & all. Basically, go watch it starting tomorrow night WORLDWIDE!!! Steve
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Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
May 2024
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