Good Afternoon,
Yup, getting close to busy season on the festival circuit... so here are some movies we watched... May 22 – Fast X (2023) We got to see an early screening of this movie the Monday night before it was released worldwide… and as you may have heard, we’re HUGE fans of the series… but that wasn’t always the case (see our episodes during April 2020 where we went through the series). In this installment, the son of a drug kingpin that they killed in “Fast 5” (Jason Momoa) is trying to take down Dominic Toretto’s family (Vin Diesel and half of Hollywood). Starting essentially with the final scene of the 4th installment, this series has taken the step from criminal with a heart of gold drama to FULL Superheroes who drive cars… and the villains have to match them… and luckily, Jason Momoa as Dante Reyes understood that he’s basically the villain in a video game & went full f**king over-the-top & I loved it!!! As usually, Vin Diesel is probably the worst part of the movie (only competition is Tyrese) but he’s learned to surround himself completely with other charismatic actors & some of the most ridiculous action set pieces that you can imagine (you’ve seen the trailer, right?). So what did I think? Rating – 10/10 – It’s not 10+ but it’s exactly what I thought & wanted it to be… and now I can’t wait for the next one!!! May 23 – Forest Warrior (1996) So… Izzy got to pick the theme & movies for June… so she went with Bear Month because we love killer bear movies… and then she said we HAVE to do this movie… where Chuck Norris is a shapeshifting forest spirit who protects the forest from loggers & kids are thrown in because Chuck can’t have more than 7 minutes of screentime. Hijnx ensue. Now, yes, there is a bear in this movie… as Chuck morphs into a giant bear at seemingly random times… and I can get behind the “protect the forest” & “take down the rich guy who goes against the rules that his kind even made to get ahead” themes of the movie… but yeah, it’s pretty rough. The fight scenes are kind of funny in a ridiculous manner but… it’s Chuck Norris. Rating – 6/10 – Not the greatest, not the worst, it’s what they set out to make May 24 – The Pope’s Exorcist (2023) Recently featured on the Flop House Podcast, I’ve heard nothing good about this movie. Based on true events in about the same vein as the Conjuring movies or religion in general, but it’s about an Italian man (Russell Crowe) who is the lead exorcist of the Vatican (ergo the Pope’s Exorcist, not the Exorcist who is exorcising the Pope for example) and based on the dates given, this is one of his first exorcisms as The Pope’s #1 guy as he goes to a Spanish castle where some Americans have just moved in (what?) and the young son has been possessed by a powerful demon… and hijinx ensue. Now… I get it… the main plot of the movie is a little… questionable… but you know what kind of movie you’re going into with a title like this. That being said… I’ve seen MANY worse exorcism movies & I’ll give it to Russell Crowe… he did a decent job with the Italian accent & charisma to play an aging exorcist. Will there be a bunch of sequels cataloging the tales of Gabriela Amorth or whatever the name of the real exorcist is? Of course not… the movie flopped in spite of them planting the seed for 199 other demons being unleashed upon the world at the end… and his young sidekick priest joining him. Rating – 8/10 – I actually enjoyed this movie & don’t understand the hate. I feel like most of it is from people who haven’t seen it though because the RT scores are fairly high. May 25 – The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) Making a movie for a video game like this is difficult. It’s even more difficult when you don’t really take the original stuff into the movie & go off on your own weird interdimensional Blade Runner thing as we found out in 1993. However, this is about as good a movie as you can make with the source material. It’s a fun romp of two plumbers who get caught up in hijinx in the Mushroom Kingdom against the evil King Koopa who has a crush on the local princess. Is this movie made for me? Not really… I haven’t played a Mario game since Super Nintendo, but it’s still a fun kids movie & Jack Black does a great job as Koopa. Rating – 9/10 – Like I said, just about as good as you can do with the material used May 26 – Cocaine Bear: The True Story (2023) This is a documentary about the real life incidences that “inspired” the movie Cocaine Bear earlier this year. Honestly, the bear isn’t the story until the minute when it died instantly after snorting a few grams of cocaine. However, it is a 40 minute documentary about a corrupt Kentucky cop who was running drugs from Colombia and… basically they don’t know what happened exactly but his corpse ended up splatting on somebody’s driveway when his parachute didn’t open when he was making a run with 80 pounds of cocaine in his hands & dumping a bunch into a nearby national forest. That’s about it. Was he trying to fake his death (it was 1985)? Did something go wrong on the plane? No one really knows… and one of their Southern dandy experts fancied himself a funny man but… I must’ve missed the jokes. Rating – 7/10 – Just raises more questions than anything… but a fun look at what corrupt cops have been doing since the beginning… yeah… See y'all next week! Steve
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Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
May 2024
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