Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
What did you watch this New Year's Eve?!? Well, here's what we saw... December 29 – Christmas Icetastrophe (2014) Alright, we watched this one on the Satanic Temple Wednesday Night Movies… and it’s one of those Syfy Channel disaster movie ripoffs. Basically a meteor hits a small town in Canada or Alaska or something… and it somehow brings a bunch of ice & freezing temperatures that chase people around and freeze them instantly? There’s really not a lot of real reason given for why this happens… just that it does happen, now RUN!!! There’s car chases, boat chases, sweeping through towns, explosions causing MORE ice & freezing temperatures, just complete ridiculousness… and the star is the guy from Scorpion King 3 & 4 (Victor Webster) & directed by the guy who played Bob in Carnosaur 3: Primal Species. Who’s Bob? He doesn’t last long in that movie. Rating – 6/10 – Laughably bad… but a fun watch with friends December 30 – The Menu (2022) A couple (Nicholas Hoult & Anya Taylor-Joy) goes to a secluded island for the ultimate restaurant experience with a world renowned chef (Ralph Fiennes) and hijinx ensue. I don’t want to give a bunch away about this movie… as you probably have an idea of where it goes if you’ve seen the trailer… but it’s kind of a slow build to craziness with… let’s say scathing thoughts about food culture, criticism in general, bad movies, all the stuff you probably love if you’re reading this review. It’s also well done as a heightened perspective of it… though some plot elements fall apart by the end of the movie. I had a lot of fun with it. Izzy isn’t interested. Rating – 8/10 – It’s not particularly gory or anything, just intense & a little nutso, pretty hilarious at points December 31 – Black Adam (2022) The Scorpion King is now a DC Superhero. I mean… it gets more complicated that it’s basically Shazam… who’s the original Captain Marvel… but it’s played in another movie by the guy from “Chuck” but… basically Dwayne Johnson is an ancient Egyptian (though called Kahndaq in the DC world) who’s cursed/blessed with infinite power & is brought back at the exact same time that another unearthly power is being unleashed (ends up being the Devil from Pick of Destiny?). Throw in Aldis Hodge as Hawkman (definitely not Falcon) and a few pointless teenagers (definitely not Storm & Ant Man) and you have DC trying to completely rip off Marvel & the Mummy. That being said… it’s weird that DC has completely shaken up everything after THIS movie was released… but whatever, they’re the company losing billions. Rating – 8/10 – I still had fun watching it… but mostly because of how EVERY. SINGLE. ELEMENT of the movie I had seen before & better… but damn that Dwayne is charismatic, even when he’s playing a non-charismatic character (his character is basically Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy in this one) January 1 – Call Me Miss Cleo (2022) Ever wonder the story behind Miss Cleo from those Psychic Readers Network commercials of the 90’s & early 2000’s? There’s this documentary on HBO Max about her interesting & very questionable rise to popularity and briefly mentioning the two evil white guys who got hundreds of millions of dollars from those commercials… but all anybody remembers about it is Miss Cleo’s fake Jamaican accent, because it’s funnier than the reality. I like that they didn’t shy away from the fact that she kind of ripped off the arts community in Seattle at one point… then did Miss Cleo… then the aftermath led her down a different road. Rating – 9/10 – I’d say check it out… it’s more heartfelt & told by people in her life than you might expect. Raven Symone & Debra Wilson are in it too. January 2 – Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983) A carnival rolls into a small town… and it’s led by Mr. Dark (Jonathan Pryce) so hijinx ensue for two kids… a really the rest of the town. This was written by Ray Bradbury back in the 50’s turned into a novel and then made into a movie in the 80s when I guess the technology caught up & Disney put some money behind it… but it’s definitely one of those movies that traumatized my generation. I might have seen it once back in the day… but watching it now, I’d put it in the realm of “Return to Oz”, “The Neverending Story” and others where there are like… scenes with corpses & stuff that may be too scary for young children… but teenagers will probably love it. Rating – 9/10 – I did start to doze off in the middle (long day?)… but yeah, definitely worth a watch January 3 – Blood Beat (1983) A woman is taken to her boyfriend’s family get-together in Wisconsin for Christmas… and they’re all avid deer hunters… and I’m not sure if the mom is supposed to be some sort of psychic scanner or what… but the woman is having visions… and it involves the spirit of a samurai going around & killing people while she’s masturbating… and I had to rewatch the ending three times to see what the explanation was but… it didn’t make any sense. The soundtrack is too damn loud for the dialogue… and spoiler, these actors didn’t really do anything else… yeah, it’s a weird movie. Rating – 6/10 – There’s some interesting independent filmmaking going on here but… yeah, it was rough & I have no idea what was going on January 4 – Best of the Best 4: Without Warning (1998) The fourth installment of the Phillip Rhee-led Best of the Best martial arts movies series… and this one has a CAST with Ernie Hudson, Sven Ole Thorsen, Tobin Bell & more… but basically a martial artist finds himself thrust into some Russian mobsters & a mini disc holding everything they need to counterfeit money… but yeah, action & hijinx ensue. Now… this came in a 12-movie action pack & we watched it for Ernie Hudson… but then friend of the podcast Sven Ole Thorsen popped up with a speaking role… and it built from there. I enjoyed it… and keep an ear out on the podcast for this September… I’m sorry, SVEN-tember!!! Rating – 9/10 – For a straight to video action movie, I really enjoyed this one. Welcome to 2023 everybody!!! More fun stuff on the way!!! Steve
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Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
December 2024
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