Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Sorry, it has been super busy with getting things ready for PodcArt Fest and just life in general… but I thought I’d stop in & say howdy.
It’s October!!! You know what that means… Izzy goes a little crazy with decoration for the house so that two humans, three cats & a sh*t ton of rats, ladybugs and box elder bugs can see them because we’re socially distanced (and nobody wants to come visit anyway). We’ve also decided that we’re going to try to watch 31 horror movies in the month… though we’re not restricting ourselves to new horror movies like other people out there. Izzy’s not a fan of gore and… we just watch a bunch of movies already. No time to waste on crap unless it’s something we wanted to watch for a long time… or rewatch. So on that note, here’s how the first week of that has gone thus far…
Oct 1 – The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958)
Guys, we got a 20 Film Hammer Horror Collection so don’t be surprised when that (or the Universal Monster Collection we got last year) pops up a few times on this list. They’re movies we’ve been meaning to see… and they’re in that sweet horror window for 75-90 minutes. On that note, f**k you “Army of the Dead”! Nobody wants a 2.5 hour zombie heist flick. Keep it tight! Anyway, “The Revenge of Frankenstein” is apparently the 2nd in a series of 6-7 Frankenstein films that Hammer made with the great Peter Cushing as Viktor Frankenstein… and in this one, he has assumed the identity of Dr. Stein (clever) to continue he research at the turn of the century… to create LIFE!!! In this one, the local doctors board or something is curious about this new doctor who’s treating patients well at a reasonable cost… but doesn’t join their board. Obviously this leads to a path of death & destruction since he just doesn’t give into their medicare system & hijinx ensue. Okay, it’s not quite that… but I really enjoy the lush colors, creepy weird characters & at times downright witty banter of the movie. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come with future Hammer films. Full confession… the only other Hammer films I’ve seen are “Frankenstein Created Woman” which we did for the podcast (ageofradio.org/everythingilearnedfrommovies) a few years back… and we caught the last half of one of those ones where Peter Cushing & Christopher Lee are in a small German town… which apparently is like 5 of them… so that doesn’t narrow it down.
Rating: 8/10 - Decent flick, highly recommend!
Oct 2 – Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
It’s weird to say that the only bad thing you can say about a movie is that Keanu Reeves is in it… but damn it, that’s “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” to me! Some people think of it as a little cheesy & whatever… but I feel that’s only because of Keanu’s English accent that he tries to do. Lord help me it’s bad at times (“I’ve seen where the bastard sleeps…”) and yes, that could have EASILY been remedied by director Francis Ford Coppola reaching out to his nephew Nicolas Cage to take that fairly small role instead… but alas, what’s done is done… and it’s done magnificently in my opinion. The unsettling visuals with creative special effects & layering make this a treat for the eyes, and there are dynamic performances from some of the greatest actors in a generation (Gary Oldman, Anthony Hopkins, Cary Elwes in the role he was born to play, heck even Winona Ryder isn’t bad). You even get to see Monica Bellucci’s breasts! This movie has EVERYTHING you want in a vampire movie!
Rating – 10+/10 - Greatest Vampire Movie Ever!
Oct 3 – Malignant (2021)
This is a new one on HBO Max from director James Wan (“Conjuring” series & “Dead Silence”) about a woman (Annabelle Wallis) who has these dreams of gruesome murders… and they end up coming true. But why? How is she able to see these things right before they happen? I’m going to try to not spoil anything other than to say that the first two acts are kind of slowburn of a tense psychological thriller with potential supernatural elements as the quick synposis would imply… and then the third act becomes one of the most incredible spectacles of film that I have seen in a long time!!! The acting is pretty good (though the main character get pretty f**king whiny at times, but that’s the script) and the atmosphere, as with most James Wan horrors, is pretty damn gripping. That third act though makes this a MUST SEE in my opinion!!!
Rating – 10/10 - Check it out!
Oct 4 – Once Bitten (1985)
Before “In Living Color” & the greatest single year that any actor has ever had, Jim Carrey wasn’t always the King of Hollywood. In 1985 he starred in this low budget vampire comedy that I’ve probably seen conservatively a hundred times as a child, but not recently. So when Diana of the Happily Ever Aftermath Podcast asked us to come onto her show to talk about this movie, I was very eager to check it out again (and it’s streaming free on Tubi). The story is about a teenager (23 year old Jim Carrey) who has a lovely girlfriend (28 year old Karin Kopkins, think sexier Courtney Cox) who’s a bit of a prude… and he’s a virgin & just wants to get laid… and has two comedic sidekick friends who want to go to The Big City to meet girls… and as luck would have it, he runs into a cougar vampire (Lauren Hutton) who’s in search for a virgin. Hijinx ensue. I was REALLY expecting this to be a raunchier teen comedy that ages poorly on hindsight like some of my other favorite movies of the era (“Revenge of the Nerds”) but to be honest… I still found it hilarious… and there’s even a shower scene with homophobic slurs that is actually handled pretty well looking at it again. Dance numbers, great jokes, cheesy special effects, Jim Carrey doing his overly dramatic reactions, I still enjoy this movie!
Rating – 8/10 – I can see where this isn’t somebody’s bag… but if you’re looking for a horror comedy, you can do worse.
Oct 5 – The Village (2004)
I saw this movie in theatres… because I really liked “Signs” up until the last ten minutes… and love “The Sixth Sense” & “Unbreakable” even on repeat viewing. M Night had me at this point. However, I remember this being the first movie where I started questioning his expertise as a filmmaker. I was also 23… so would an extra 17 years experience in film viewing & being married to a woman who really likes the film change my opinion? Let’s find out! We start off in a turn-of-the-century village where there’s these religious zealots who live in a small village of what appear to be maybe a hundred people. Their village is surrounded by a forest… but in this forest, there are mysterous & deadly monsters who keep them at bay, so traveling there is strictly forbidden by the village elders. Well, Joaquin Phoenix is adventurous and thinks that he can go to the neighboring towns for medicine, but the elders don’t like that idea, oh and he’s also in love with blindish Bryce Dallas Howard. One day, mentally impaired Adrian Brody stabs Joaquin… and he’s on death’s door. BDH insists on going to get medicine… and hijinx ensue. I almost feel like it’s a given with an M Night movie but… there’s a twist ending, which is completely unnecessary in this movie, so I won’t even spoil it. What I will say is… I enjoyed it much more than the first time that I watched it. The atmosphere is spooky. The performances are great with Joaquin, BDH, Sigourney Weaver & William Hurt. I even believe Adrian Brody going full r-word. M Night is not the best at human dialogue… but the old timey speak covers up a lot of that… to a point. It’s not great… but it’s not bad either.
Rating – 7/10 – Check it out if you’re looking for something spooky but not gory… just please don’t think about it too much.
Oct 6 – Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb (1964)
The second movie in our Hammer Collection was this almost straight up retelling of 1932’s “The Mummy” but with the Hammer twist (bright colors, British actors in potential brownface & big boobs). British archeologists find the sarcophagus of a famous Egyptian ruler… and hijinx ensue as the expedition’s benefactor wants to take it around the world like it’s a circus or King Kong or something & the local authorities don’t want their heritage to be disrespected. There’s also a legend that anybody who witnesses the opening of the tomb will be horribly killed! Now, I LOVE 1999’s “The Mummy” with the passionate heat of a thousand suns… and even saw some potential in 2017’s “The Mummy” though it should’ve been the start-off point for Tom Cruise as the Wolfman… but that’s another story for another time. I was overjoyed to see a lot more of the 1999 version’s influence stemming from this movie than the 1932 original. No, not just the inexplicably beautiful lady archeologist (played by Bond girl Jeanne Roland) but the comedic elements & just a different pace and tone to the movie. Then again it was made over 30 years after the original so that may have a lot to do with it too. Perhaps I’ll have to rewatch the 1932 version too and get an official verdict other than 2017’s was mishandled at best. Anyway, I liked it!
Rating – 7/10 – I enjoyed it but there are a lot of cheesy parts being an almost 60 year old movie.
Oct 7 – Carnosaur (1993)
Okay, I remember this movie coming out as I was a young boy being SUPER hyped that we’d finally get to see decent dinosaurs in a movie theatre when “Jurassic Park” was coming out! Kids, before then, about the best versions of dinosaurs we got on film was “Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend” (google it & enjoy) so JP was a f**king gamechanger!!! After watching JP a few times in theaters (Cineplex Odeon a few times & the drive-in theatre) like most dinosaur enthusiasts at the time, I wanted more dinosaur movies!!! Luckily there were a few movie producers who knew that & had their own low-budget efforts in the works with the likes of “Prehysteria!” or “We’re Back! A Dinosaur Story” or “Tammy & the T-Rex” and the like. Don’t worry, we’ll be celebrating next DiNovember on the podcast some of these treats. However, with this movie’s R-rating & my dad hearing that it sucks f**king hard, this movie never made it to my virginal eyes back then… and I had forgotten about it for a while with you know my teenage year & twenties happening… and then nobody else had thought about it, so it seemed to be lost in the ether. Well, I was reminded about it in looking up dinosaur movies, but it didn’t seem to be available unless it was a VHS rip some guy online was selling for $50… but then I remember that I’m a Patreon of The Bloodybits Horror Show podcast and they have their amazing Blood Bank, which a VPN where host Eddie (hwoPING) the Axe has a plethora of amazing horror movies… and what would you know, “Carnosaur” is on there!!! God bless the Axe!!! So anway, one of those low-rent movie producers was Roger Corman who financed this movie… and basically it’s about this corporation trying to manipulate DNA to make a more productive chicken… but it somehow leads to being a virus that spread throughout a town… and leads to dinosaurs being born & ravaging the countryside with an insatiable hunger? We’ll get more into it on a future episode… but despite this movie having some decent actors like Diane Ladd, Ned Bellamy & even a Clint Howard cameo… it’s pretty rough, even for a movie with a sub-million-dollar budget involving DINOSAURS!!! The sets were… I assume just available being the key word. The effects were laughably bad. The gore was equally hilarious. The plot started off like it had something to say… and then went completely off the rails. I’m still not sure what the main protagonists have to do with the movie other than they exist & are in their 20’s (though that’s debatable as well). It’s kind of a trainwreck… and that being said, I still really kinda liked it… because I’m a dinosaur nut & I like schlocky movies!
Rating – 5/10 – Look, I know I’m blinded by my love of bad movies & dinosaurs… but I enjoyed it. If it sounds like your bag, then join the Patreon of The Bloodybits Horror Show & tell them Steve with EILFM sent ya!!!
Okay, that’ll do it for this entry! PodcArt Fest is this Saturday, October 9th! Join us at https://my.boothcentral.com/v/events/podcart-fest-spooky-fall-festival for all the fun & art!!!
Love, Peace & Chicken Grease,
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing