Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Another busy busy week... but the MIL is FINALLY moved in... and of course she's COMPLETELY ill prepared to be an adult and look for a place to live... and as expected I believe she's just looking to drop her burden of existence upon us but... that's not happening... as we've told her specifically for months while she was feigning listening... but yeah, the process is being done & my wife Izzy is a trooper trying to turn her mother into an actual adult for the first time in her 3/4 century of life so... it's a process. However, I don't think you all care about that... so here are the movies I could squeeze in...
October 6 – Carnivorous / Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent (2008)
Obviously I watched this movie because it allegedly starred rap legend DMX… but it’s about a bunch of 30-something teenagers who go on a road trip & stumble upon some magic stick that releases a vengeful half-crocodile/half-serpent monster… and hijinx ensue. This movie has some serious “Pumpkinhead” vibes but… more like the 3rd or 4th sequel of Pumpkinhead where there’s a guy whose wife is killed by these douchey teens and he goes to kill them himself… but then there’s a monster already doing it for him… and yeah, it’s Asylum level CGI for the monster. Oh… and DMX is in like three minutes of this movie if that… and yeah…
Rating – 5/10 – This is blissfully short at least… but yeah, not the greatest
October 9 – The Haunting (1999)
Watched this one for our upcoming Halloween Special… along with the other 1999 horror remake about an All-Star cast of rich whites go to an old building with a seeded history to find out the meaning of Fear. This is the one with Liam Neeson, Catherine Zeta Jones, Owen Wilson & Lily Taylor and from the director of Speed & Twister. You can hear more about it in our episode but… there’s 1.5 deaths in this movie. I had completely forgotten that. For some reason I thought there was more… but this is PG-13 AF… and I still can’t really stand the Eleanor character. This feels like a Spielberg thing thrown in…
Rating – 7/10 – It is what it is though… 90’s horror… but Casper’s CGI was MUCH better
October 11 – House on Haunted Hill (1999)
This is the other one… and is the R-rated version of The Haunting… Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Ali Larter, Bridgette Wilson, Taye Diggs, Peter Gallagher & Christ Kattan are stuck in an old sanitarium when a rich white’s birthday prank goes ridiculously wrong (and pretty dumb)… and hijinx ensue. Honestly, Chris Kattan’s character in this movie is… probably the highlight… though a bit out of place in the rest of the movie since he’s providing meta-commentary “Scream” style when everybody else is… basically a characiture.
Rating – 8/10 – Still enjoy it though… and 30 minutes shorter than The Haunting… though I have MANY questions about the ending
Yeah, so that's it... back to making sure my MIL can get her own place & she hasn't been lying to us about every single thing that she has said since we lived in San Francisco and were babysitting her there... but hey, I'll keep you vaguely posted... and luckily my wife isn't being driven insane by it either. :)
By the way, the new motto for Q4 is "It's going to be GREAT!!!"
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing