Road Trip - Part One

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
 
So this blog thing… still not sure what you’d like to see her besides nudes, so in the meantime… we went on an adventure!
 
Day 1 – Drive Into Hell!!!
 
Okay, that’s overly dramatic, but Izzy & I were on a mission… to go visit her father for his 75th Birthday Bash! The catch is that he lives two Western states away and the Western United States is apparently catching up to Global Warming being a myth or something because it is HOT. Record HOT!!! We love to road trip. If you’re ever curious what a road trip with us is like… just listen to our podcast… for 8-12 hours. It’s amazing!!! We’ll see signs along the way, crack a few jokes, talk about ideas for new art & products, the next billion dollar enterprise that’ll catapult us to Rocket-Into-Space-In-A-Metal-Cock status and then… see BM on the side of a mountain, laugh hysterically & forget it all by the next time we gas up. We should start recording our discoveries… but that’s another time…
 
Here are some tips for a road trip:
 
Beverages – Pack a lot of water! Especially if you’re driving across Nevada & Utah like we were this trip. I’m not going to lie & say that we didn’t pick up beverages every other stop for something nice & cool… but having water in an insulated thermos is definitely good for breaking up the sweating. Added bonus: ZERO calories. You’re welcome. Now you can feel better about the one-liters of Mountain Dew you had for your morning coffee.
 
Food – You’ll definitely want to bring some snacks too. Try to make them healthy too. Let’s face it, the road trip diet of stopping at fast food places for burgers, burritos & deep fried cheese makes truckers out of all of us… so break it up with some nuts, maybe a protein bar to replace a meal you’re not really hungry for, or my personal favorite… dates! If you have dates at your disposal, they make for a great filling & delicious snack. Added bonus: With some real fruit in your system, you might be able to pass that triple meat breakfast in a timely manner, shaving minutes off your drive time with every movement.
 
Packing – We pack light. I know it’s not for everybody, especially families where children apparently need their own fully functioning entertainment system to not be absolute a-holes. However, for the two of us, we typically are able to keep all our clothes for a week or so, along with snacks & such, in a backpack. I also brought a suit bag because this was a work trip & they like me dressing pretty… but it can be hidden under an airplane seat, so barely noticeable. I’ll see if Izzy over at UntidyVenus can give you her full breakdown on how to fold clothes best & other little cheats, but packing light is just easier to move in & out of the vehicle when needs be too.
 
Entertainment – Obviously the best way to keep everyone entertained is to listen to the podcast Everything I Learned From Movies on your favorite podcatcher… but let’s say you have children in the vehicle that you’re trying to keep away from foul language, or you just don’t enjoy quantity & quality podcasting about movies. In that case, I would recommend a mild sedative for the children, as they’re just going to complain the whole time anyway & you obviously long to keep them away from the real world… and for yourself, perhaps another podcast, or a favorite album or two from back in the day. Yeah, let’s the kids know that you f**ked with DMX in the late 90s. That way when you’re judging their musical choices in a few years, you can always bring it back on them.
 
So yeah… we woke up early, left around 6 AM Mountain time, drove a lot, with stops along the way for breakfast in Tooele, lunch in Battle Mountain, and then a nice early dinner at Great Basin Brewing in Reno, Nevada. We had been here before a few times & always enjoyed their beers (Icky IPA & Wild Horse Amber are definitely worth trying out). The food typically isn’t bad either & this time we split a pulled pork sandwich & a Chicken Caesar Salad (again, putting in a little salad between your fast food fiascos will help you from getting those bubble guts later.
 
We then checked into our hotel, Aloft near the Reno-Tahoe Airport… and it totally plays into the old casino chic kind of style. There are some pictures below…
 
Slept like babies with the AC maxed out all night…
 
Day 2 – Further into the Pits
 
Did I forget to mention that there was a wildfire near Reno & the air quality was a half-step above turkey smoker? Okay, that was kind of important to leave out. It has become such an everyday thing in the summer months that it completely slipped my mind. Anyway, so with that in mind, we woke up late, loaded up on Jack in the Box (wouldn’t recommend it but we had forgotten after two years without it) for breakfast, and headed towards the Sacramento area to check into our hotel before it hit triple digits (didn’t work because it was there by around 10 AM) & then off to see Izzy’s family at her dad’s sugar mama’s gated-community home. I’ve heard a lot of non-flattering stories about Izzy’s father over the years… but luckily have only met him a handful of times in the decade we’ve been together. I mean… luckily he had other dinner plans the day of our wedding, so he had to leave after ten minutes. No complaints on that. However, I had never really got to witness him surrounded by his family & friends and… man, I see where he gets it from & I’m glad that Izzy is nothing like him.
 
That being said, the party went VERY well. He made burgers that nobody got sick from, everybody was pleasant even when fighting for the attention of everyone around them, family drama was brought up anew in a potential effort to underhandedly start a commotion but… alas, no fighting! I got to catch up with my father-in-law’s sugar mama for the first time in about five years & she’s a sweetheart. Her twin sister was there too & equally sweet! No idea what she sees in him but… hey, I’m sure there’s some sort of trauma there I don’t want to delve into. We also got to see Izzy’s nephew & she gave him a rubber band gun to play with. It was a nice three-hours or so of watching a very interesting family dynamic play out… but with no explosion of emotion… at least before we decided to be the first ones to leave & open up the flood gates.
 
Bonus Tip: Never be afraid to be the first person to leave a party! Now I’m not saying be a dick about it or anything… but you know when the party’s starting to wind down, or the host & their rival are reaching that tipping point with their alcohol consumption & things are about to get weird… and when that point comes, everyone else can feel it too! Look at it as you doing them a favor… because they don’t want to be the first to leave. They don’t have the courage that you do! Be bold! Help them to leave before it’s too late! Heck, if you want, leave the party and just wait in your car for five minutes to watch more than half the party follow in your footsteps, and exchange knowing nods with one another.
 
So yeah, back to the hotel to sleep. The air quality was much better in Sacramento… but still not great… and still hot as balls… plus humidity. I guess that’s why they call it Old Sac.
 
Day 3 – Light at the end of the Tunnel
 
We met up with Izzy’s best friends (and frankly mine too) for lunch at Lazy Dog’s where we ate some chilequilas & had a beer (recommend both) but mostly caught up with our friends that we hadn’t seen in two years! They were originally getting married during the pandemic… but that happen… oh they still got married, but not the big princess wedding that was originally planned. Coming soon though. They’ve also been looking into moving to Colorado for some time… but again, things got pushed back because of world events. I won’t lie… I feel absolutely blessed that we moved when we did. It was a pain in the ass two years ago, it’d been 10x worse just six months later. I guess what I’m saying is… no time like the present to go towards your goals!!!
 
After catching up more at their new temporary house (fantastic by the way), we made our way westward to the last bastion of weather decency… the San Francisco Bay Area! We were meeting up with some other friends at a new restaurant location… but first… Sunday afternoon traffic from Sacramento to San Francisco… over 100 degrees… but luckily, it wasn’t as bad as we’ve seen… and when it was all over… we were sitting on the 65 degree coastline of Richmond, California at Black Star Pirate Barbeque!!!
 
Black Star Pirate BBQ is an incredible experience!!! First off, it’s barbecue… so you order your tri tip, brisket, ribs,  pulled pork, lamb, mac & cheese, baked beans, cheesy grits, beers, wine, whatever as you walk in… sit down… enjoy live music… overlooking the bay at a secluded sailboat slip… and just have a hell of a lot of fun surrounded by eccentric art pieces, fun & attentive staff, and hang with your friends. There are some pictures below too…
 
After dinner & some wandering around the grounds at sunset, we drove across the Golden Gate Bridge into the first FOG that we had seen in YEARS!!! I hadn’t seen fog like this in probably the last four years… two of which I was still living in the SF Bay area… but it was magnificent, if not a little white-knuckle driving… but worth it!!! We then checked into our hotel for the next week while I worked & Izzy played (hehehe) but that’s… another entry!!!
 
Until next time, check out the podcast & if you’re already subscribing, tell a friend, set it up on your mom’s cell phone the next time she needs help with something, whatever it takes, get us into your loved ones earholes! Also, if you need a little art in your life, check out UntidyVenus.Etsy.com for some amazing art by my lovely wife (and occasionally me)!
 
As foretold in the Prophecy,
 
Steve