Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Back is feeling much better now... ready to get back into the show season... but Izzy was a damn champ making that money without me!!! This also gave me time to watch some movies... June 22 – Commando (1985) John Matrix (Schwarzenegger) is a former mercenary or something… but he’s retired now & living in the woods with his daughter (Alyssa Milano) but then some South American general (Dan Hedaya?) sends a hit squad to kill him, kidnaps his daughter & blackmails him into killing the president so the general can take power? Now John has to figure out how to get his daughter back… and it’s by teaming with a stewardess (Rae Dawn Chong) and destroying hundreds of bad guys. Guys, this movie is amazing & 1,000% action and one-liners… and Vernon Wells as the final baddy is chef’s kiss… Rating – 10+/10 – Love this movie even though the story is ridiculous… June 23 – Champions (2023) Woody Harrelson is a semi-pro assistant coach who gets fired after a DUI (and pushing his boss coach Ernie Hudson) & as part of his community service is “forced” to coach a local Special Olympics basketball team… knowing that it’s also directed by one of the Farrelly brothers & the trailer you can see how the movie could go a VERY questionable way. Ladies & gentlemen, I’ll tell you what… this movie was legitimately great! Now, basketball movies I’m usually pretty skeptical of because of playing it for a LONG time in my younger days… but the way everything is handled, this movie was deep, thoughtful, hilarious, and even Kaitlyn “Sweet Dee” Olsen was able to show off her acting chops a little bit. I highly recommend checking it out! Rating – 10/10 – Seeing Woody shooting a jump shot just reminded me that there’s a “White Men Can’t Jump” remake out there that I’ll probably watch one day… June 24 – Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022) Of course I’ve seen some Shrek movies (at least the first two) & I’m familiar with Antonio Banderas as the titular character Puss in Boots… but in this one, Puss is faced with his own mortality as he’s down to his last of nine lives, and is on a mission to find the last wishing star to get his lives back… meanwhile he’s paired with an ex love (voiced by Salma Hayek) & a Chihuahua (Harvey Guillen) but being pursued by DEATH (a big bad wolf), kingpin Jack Horner, Goldi & the three bears!!! Hijinx ensue… and I really liked it. It’s fun for kids & adults… and that’s a delicate balance… Rating – 10/10 – Again, highly recommend & would gladly enjoy watching it with a child in need of distraction June 25 – Rollerball (2002) I remember watching this when it first came out and… not enjoying it… like everybody else based on its RT rating. However, I thought it might be worth another shot since I had time on my hands & it was featured on Tubi. Basically in the year 2005 (remember?) there’s a new sport in Russia where it’s a mix of extreme sports & death… but the ratings are great & violence is high… and there’s a kid (Chris Klein from American Pie) who’s the new wunderkind… but things aren’t what they seem as there’s corruption (gasp!). Okay, the movie… is not great obviously. The thing is that there are decent ideas there. LL Cool J is great as charismatic friend. Corruption in sports & power struggles are fraught with ideas for effective storytelling. Some of the actions scenes are okay. Unfortunately, this had the perfect storm of a few things happening like director John McTiernan becoming completely disenchanted with Hollywood, Hollywood chopping up his vision into PG-13 BS, and… Chris Klein may not be the greatest actor by any means… but I feel like he had the worst possible choices of movies to try to kickstart his career with this, “Say It Ain’t So”, “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li” and so on. However, this movie can best be summed up in the infamous 12-minute night vision action scene that’s bad even by straight-to-VHS standards. Rating – 6/10 – Made me want to watch the original… but there’s possibilities in it June 26 – Planet Terror (2007) Yes, the other half of the Grindhouse duo, directed by Robert Rodriguez (apparently he has a new movie out called Hynpotic that I need to watch soon) and a campy over-the-top zombie kind of flick where a chemical has been released on the populous turning them into a violent horde of melty monsters… and hijinx ensue. I love this movie as an ode to the Grindhouse movies that I’ve learned to absolutely love over the past decade or so… from the ridiculous moments of dialogue repeating, the coarse special effects to “age the film” or whatever, the long shots at the “superstar that’s fallen on hard times to have a small part in this movie” (Bruce Willis) and the violence is just cranked up to 11 with exploding blood & limbs & well, explosions!!! Absolutely top notch… Rating – 10+/10 – Why am I not seeing more Robert Rodriguez?!? June 27 – Easy Rider 2: The Ride Home (2012) This is… sort of a sequel of the legendary 1969 “Easy Rider” but… it’s really about the rest of Peter Fonda’s character Wyatt’s family and just a family drama… but it’s also about 40% motorcycle riding on the open highway to pad out the 90 minutes. Wyatt’s brother Morgan is asked to come back to the States to see his father before he dies… and then along the way we get a bunch of flashbacks as to why he’s in Mexico, what happened to other siblings, the father’s past, the sister’s, his buddy Wes Coast (played by Jeff Fahey) and… yeah, it just kinda happens. I didn’t hate this movie as much as I did when I first saw it… but find out specifically why on an upcoming Patreon Exclusive episode in July for BIKER MONTH!!! Rating – 6/10 – This one is rough at spots… and I’m not a fan of drama… but there’s some positives too June 28 – Rollerball (1975) After watching the remake the other day, I had to watch the original starring James Caan. Basically in the year 2018 (40+ years in the future as opposed to 2-3 like the remake), there’s no war… only the corporates… and Rollerball!!! Want some more background on how this came to be or what the global ramifications are of this society? TOO BAD!!! Theatre of the mind!!! Fill in your own blanks, you get bare bones in this one… but apparently there’s a book that I’m not going to read. James Caan is the aged star of Rollerball… and they want him to retire… but he doesn’t want to… so then “They” start taking away the rules to kill him because… well, that’s another thing they don’t really explain well. Look, I really enjoyed the movie… and if you combine this with some world building elements of the remake… you could totally make a decent version of this. Other franchises have tried like Hunger Games and… coming next week… but yeah, 70’s fun. Rating – 8/10 – Not great but good… Happy Independence Day to those who celebrate... until next time!!! Steve
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Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
I tweaked my back a few days ago... but Izzy has been amazing & running her art shows solo. One positive of having back pain though... plenty of time to watch movies... June 15 – Son of the White Mare (1981) Watched this one during the Satanic Temple Movie Night… and it’s a beautifully animated Hungarian folktale about a horse goddess giving birth to three brothers who go into the underworld to save their princesses from dragons & reclaim their ancestors’ lost kingdom! Oh… and hijinx ensue. This was subtitled but you know, it’s a beautiful mythic tale and the animated is absolutely incredible. I can’t even tell you what style it is… just very impressionistic yet vibrant… and yeah, I’d recommend just checking it out & seeing it for yourself. Rating – 9/10 – Stunningly beautiful… but I was dozing off at some spots… but I’ll blame the environment, after a long day at work June 16 – Mom and Dad (2017) I’m not sure if I already did this one when we talked about it last Nic-August Cage… but yeah, something is causing all parents (including Nic Cage & Selma Blair) to KILL THEIR CHILDREN… and hijinx ensue… especially when the grandparents get involved (Lance Henriksen) and it’s from Brian Taylor, one of the directors of the Crank movies & Gamer… obviously I love it. Rating – 10/10 – May actually be a 10+ but I may get put on a list… June 17 – Showgirls (1995) Yes, I’m one of the record number of people who pre-ordered the Vinegar Syndrome 4k UHD release of the Paul Verhoeven classic “Showgirls” about an absolutely horrible woman named Nomi Malone (Elizabeth Berkeley) who moves to Las Vegas to become a famous dancer like… … well, I guess she’ll be the first? Along the way a magical best friend shows up the first hour she’s there to help her through (and ends up being violently raped) and hijinx ensue. Yes, the movie is… over-the-top crazy & every single line of dialogue within it is absolutely horrible like the main protagonist. However, it’s campy as f**k to watch… and makes perfect sense when it’s the Danish director who brought you things like RoboCop & Starship Troopers doing an escalated version of Joe Eszterhas’ script when they were both basically given a blank check to do what they want after the success of “Basic Instinct” & “Total Recall” or something. Rating – 9/10 – I can’t give this a 10 based on the abhorrent dialogue… but this movie has a soft (and hard) spot in my heart June 18 – Creed III (2023) Yes, I’ve seen all the Rocky movies… lots of times… and I cried watching Creed II… I have a thing for daddy stories, sue me! So was I excited for Michael B Jordan to direct & star in this movie that I originally assumed was him going up against Clubber Lang’s grandson from Rocky III? Of course! Was I excited once I found out it was his buddy from the hood that’s been in jail for 15 years? Sure, I dig the Bernard Hopkins “coming into the game late” angle. Well, drama & hijinx ensues… and it’s a pretty decent boxing movie but… the drama was hard for me to grasp because… yeah, some stretches in logic were taken. Aside from that though, not bad at all. Rating – 9/10 – Like most Rocky movies, the boxing scenes are great… the drama is lukewarm… but not bad in this case June 19 – Avatar: The Way of Water (2022) I tweaked my back the other day… so instead of helping with one of Izzy’s art shows, I had orders to rest up… so I finally had the 3.5 hours free to watch the 2nd Avatar (not the Last Airbender) movie. This picks up 15 years after the original story of a guy who had his consciousness transported into an alien clone to infiltrate the local alien tribes for human domination to mine Unobtainium (the more I try to explain the movie, the more ridiculous it sounds) but now he’s had children with Zoe Saldana alien & they’re teenagers… oh & Sigourney Weaver had an immaculate birth that is probably going to bring balance to the Force or the Matrix or whatever in one of the planned sequels… but in this one, there’s an alien clone consciousness transfer of the bad guy (Stephen Lang in original) and he wants revenge & wouldn’t you know it… now Earth wants the whole planet because Earth is dying… add a new sea tribe of aliens that live on Samoa… er, let’s face it… they’re Maori Na’vi with the exact same tattoos & war dance… and hijinx ensue. I wasn’t huge on the original & often refer to it as Dances with Smurfs… but it’s a simple story (with a bunch of convolutions) and it’s beautifully shot. This one has war whales. Rating – 7/10 – No need for it to be 3.5 hours, not particularly excited for more sequels… but it was alright… June 20 – The Old Way (2023) Nic Cage’s latest is a Western where he’s a retired gunslinger who was the Devil incarnate… but he found a woman who changed him… and they have a daughter (Ryan Kiera Armstrong from “Firestarter”) and a gang comes through & rapes his wife to death… so now he & the daughter go after them… and come to terms with their lack of human emotions. Sounds like an intriguing premise… and I can’t say it’s a bad western… but the tone is a little all over the place. At times it’s a super serious western with suspense & drama… and you know, a woman being violently raped to death… and then you have Clint Howard being kicked in the nuts… or a two-minute monologue about apples from someone’s tree tasting like sh*t… and then done AGAIN. The tone is weird. The performances are stilted, though on purpose because the two main characters are explaining how they don’t have emotions or empathy… but it’s tough to pull something like this off. Rating – 7/10 – It’s not the worst… Nic Cage is the best… maybe give it a watch if you’re into westerns… June 21 – Wooooooo!!! Becoming Ric Flair (2022) This documentary is the life story of one of the most charismatic wrestlers in history & his 50+ year career… including stops in a plane crash, being struck by lightning, highest highs, lowest lows, four wives, children overdosing, wise & unwise business decisions, all sorts of stuff… Rating – 9/10 – I found the documentary interesting & learned about a bunch of stuff I had no idea about… and 70-something Ric Flair still has it… Until next time! Have a great week everybody!!! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Been a busy few weeks with various festivals & whatnot... and I may elaborate on that next time as we haven't been able to see a lot of movies but... until then... June 8 – Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) I don’t know much about D&D and I’m okay with that… but I’d heard good things about this movie… and boy oh boy did I enjoy it! Chris Pine has +20 charisma throughout & it’s entertaining while still being kind of “in on the joke” from a meta standpoint… but not in an over-the-top kind of way, which is a delicate balance. You know the story… group of medieval travelers join forces & go on adventures to bring down the bad guy & an evil red wizard… hijinx ensue… but yeah, I definitely recommend watching this movie & going in without knowing too much… Rating – 10/10 – That’s right! I gave a D&D movie a score of 10!!! June 9 – Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023) Along the same tone as D&D:HAT comes the superhero equivalent that’s basically along the lines of a superhero movie made by a teenage fan of the genre with all the meta jokes you can stand, and throwing in some family subplots & ominous baddies, plot twists, stuff like that. This is the 2nd Shazam movie… so you know, at the beginning it’s like people forgot that they saved the world a few years ago like it’s Ghostbusters 2… but then LADYGODS show up & want to destroy the dimension… hijinx ensue. This was a LOT of fun. Again, go in with as little knowledge as you can (except maybe seeing the first movie, they really don’t explain a lot in this one & the concepts are a little out there by comic standards). Rating – 10/10 – ANOTHER 10??? Steve, have you gone insane?!? Like I said, a LOT of fun… I watched it for Izzy & am gonna make her watch it with me!!! June 10 – Silent Trigger (1996) Yup, another Dolph Lundgren movie… and in this one he’s an assassin who apparently was marked in the middle of a job at the beginning of a movie with a sexy lady spotter (chick from “Leverage”) and went missing afterwards… but then they’re unknowingly paired up at an abandoned skyscraper site (that still has security guys) for another job… and hijinx ensue. Shockingly there’s some betrayal involved (no kidding) but this movie was shot more like… a Silk Stockings episode or something, like it’s supposed to be super sexy with the obvious costars & their… I don’t know, motivations… but it’s really awkward… and then you get action. It’s a weird little movie… but I liked it. Rating – 8/10 – We have to do a Dolph Lundgren month so to dive into these things… June 11 – The Muppets Mayhem (2023) Ten half-hour episodes about a young assistant to a music producer tries to get Dr. Teeth & the Electric Mayhem to record their first album after being on tour for the past 48 years or whatever… I love the Muppets so this was going to be highly rated to begin with… but this one had some of my favorite characters in the band. That being said, the fairly predictable lead characters & the nonsense that happens (I assume to make it a full ten episodes) and their “motivations” are just… dumb & boring. Luckily the Muppets are there to keep it lively & fun because otherwise it’s sisters being inconsiderate & a bunch of other “who gives a sh*t” so… what did I think overall? Rating – 9/10 – I had a great time but it’s long at times… June 12 – Confess, Fletch (2023) Now, I’m a fan of the 80’s Fletch movies with Chevy Chase… both of them. This one finds investigative journalist Irwin Fletcher (Jon Hamm) basically retired… because he’s banging an Italian countess or something… and then he finds a dead body at his AirBNB, so he calls it in… and then he’s the lead suspect? Hijinx ensue… but of course the witty banter from the original movies & director from Greg Mottola (Superbad, Adventureland, Dave, Keeping Up with the Joneses) makes this a pretty good movie. There are some parts that are just kind of where I would say “f**k all y’all & leave the situation” but… you know, I watch a lot of Murder She Wrote now so it goes well with that mentality. Rating – 9/10 – Can’t wait for more but… since nobody knows this movie exists probably isn’t a good sign for sequels June 13 – The Guyver (1991) Next March I think we’re going to do a new spin on Marky March where instead of talking about Mark Wahlberg movies, we’re going to go with the forgotten Mark Hamill movies of the early 90’s. This one is based on a Japanese anime about a young man who discovers a device that turns him into a cyborg superhero… and Mark Hamill is a detective that gets involved… and JJ Walker pops up… and it’s directed by special effects guru Screaming Mad George (Society & MANY more) but… you may just have to wait until the episode… it gets nuts… Rating – 8/10 – The story is pretty bad… but oh man, the effects & weirdness make it worth watching. June 14 – Stone Cold (1991) Pretty sure, I’ve done this one before but too lazy to check… Brian Bosworth as an undercover agent in a biker gang led by Lance Henriksen & William Forsythe… mullet hijinx ensue… love everything about this movie… Rating – 10+/10 – Seriously, go see this movie now!!! I have the Blu Ray… Until next time, true believers! EXCELSIOR!!! Steve Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,
First week of the Month of Constant Moneymaking has come & gone with 8-18 hour days... but here are some movies that we saw... June 1 – Sisu (2023) An elderly Finnish gold panner finds a vein of gold… but unfortunately it’s during the ending days of WWII… and the Nazis are there scorching the Earth behind them on their way back to Berlin. They mess with this man on his way back to town… and hijinx ensue as they learn he’s a retired mercenary of such legend that I think it translates to John Wick. Yes, it’s a violent John Wick meets Mad Max meets Inglorious Basterds in a glorious explosion of Nazi scalps & ridiculousness. I loved it. Rating – 10/10 – Simple story, lots of fun, lots of violence, gonna watch it again! June 2 – The Last Match (1991) Okay, this movie was sold to me but the plot summary of a football team assaulting a prison in the Caribbean to free the teenage daughter of their quarterback… starring Ernest Borgnine, Henry Silva, Charles Napier (for like two scenes) & Bills quarterback Jim Kelly around the same time that he’s leading the Bills to four straight Super Bowls… and he’s not playing the quarterback!!! The movie is nuts… but there’s a LOT of drama for the first… 70 minutes or so, THEN it kicks into cuckoo bananas territory with coach Ernest Borgnine calling the strategy from a helicopter while footballs with grenades are punted & guys in full football gear are rattling off machine guns slaying HUNDREDS of foreign policemen!!! Now I desperately want a current remake with Tom Brady trying to rescue his daughter imprisoned in the Dominican Republic on a trumped up drug charge… and Gronk, Belicheck and the rest of the Patriots gear up to help him cause an international incident! Where was this when Brittney Griner was in Russia?!? Get the Phoenix Mercury on the phone!!! Rating – 9/10 – The movie is nuts… as long as you can make it through the slower stuff June 3 – Black Tight Killers (1966) The Grindbin Podcast invited us to come on to talk this Japanese James Bond-esque movie… and we watched the Japanese version (no English subtitles) & listen to the upcoming episode to see how we did… but basically a war photographer hits on a stewardess, then she gets kidnapped by a bunch of lady bandits in black tights & Beach Blanket Babylon wigs… and then hijinx ensue when bodies pile around him & he tries to save his “girlfriend” of half a date. Now, that may sound silly… and it is… but I recommend checking it out. There are so many things in this movie that influence future movie powerhouses like Quentin Tarantino, Austin Powers, The Big Lebowski, and more! It’s 87 minutes & a ton of fun and craziness… made me excited to watch it again WITH subtitles on archive.org. Rating – 9/10 – I still think the flowers are cursed… June 4 – Ant-Man & the Wasp: Quantumania (2023) In preparation for the next movie, I realized that I hadn’t seen the new Ant-Man & wanted to make sure that I didn’t miss anything… and it’s on Disney+ so… basically, hijinx ensue when superheroes are pulled into the Quantum Realm including the Wasp’s parents & Ant-Man’s (new) daughter… and they may have accidentally unleashed an unstoppable force Kang the Conqueror because this family just can’t f**king communicate. Now… with recent Jonathan Majors situations, this may be all for not… but I think he did a good job as the next BIG baddy for the phase… but he’ll probably be replaced… but luckily, because of this multiverse thing that will be super easy (as designed). Do you NEED to watch this movie to keep up to pace with the next few? Probably not… but it’s okay for what it is. I enjoyed it. Rating – 8/10 – MODOK… yeesh… what the hell happened there?!? June 5 – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023) So then we watched the next big Marvel movie in theatres about the Guardians of the Galaxy… and hijinx ensue when a new baddy Adam Warlock shows up & just starts blasting… and nearly kills Rocket Raccoon… and now the gang need to infiltrate the animal testing facility planet where he came from to stop an explosive on his heart. Go ahead, read the sentence again slowly. Now, I really enjoy the Guardians movies… and this was no exception. Though this one, I will reiterate that it is PG-13 & I don’t think anyone under 13 should watch it unless they’re okay with scenes of animal cruelty, utter obliteration of aliens in violent ways, even the language seemed like director James Gunn was DARING Marvel to make this R-rated. That being said, I teared up a few times… it was effective… just REALLY adult situations & levels of violence. Rating – 9/10 – VERY enjoyable but maybe don’t take gentle kids until you’ve seen it first. June 6 – The Little Mermaid (2023) The Disney live-action remakes have been… meh. I’ve seen most of them and… the best one was probably “The Jungle Book” and that’s 95% CGI animated anyway. Basically taking already decent 70-90 minute animated features & ballooning them to two full hours for basically no reason other than to make another billion dollars off them… which I can understand. That being said though, I had to watch this one in theaters for a few reasons. 1) F**k the racist haters who question the casting! Javier Bardem is a great choice for King Triton. I assume that’s what they’re up in arms about; 2) It was new on date night & the timing just worked out for me to use my abundance of past credits from not going to theatres in really a year before Fast X; 3) I was intrigued by Melissa McCarthy as Ursula the Sea Witch, one of my favorite villains as a child. I know she’s capable of greatness even though half of her movies are ass. So how did this one go? Guys… go check this movie out! If you love the original, it’s damn near a frame-for-frame remake… but with CGI & performances up there with the original. I know, kids don’t seem to like the “old fashioned” animation of the original but they’re missing out. If they won’t watch that, take them to see this. Yes, the plot is a little convoluted still… and it’s ballooned to a full two hours (with a few new musical numbers too) but… worth it. Rating – 9/10 – This one I’d watch again, which I can’t really say with “Aladdin” or “Beauty & the Beast” and about half I haven’t even seen yet June 7 – Biker Boyz (2003) Well, we talked about Torque on the podcast… so we had to talk about Biker Boyz too… and this is definitely the more dramatic & slow paced version of a similar movie. Basically a young biker named Kid wants to get respect amongst the biker gangs through racing… and hijinx ensue as he acts like a petulant child after his father is killed in the first scene. Great cast including Laurence Fishburne, Orlando Jones, Djimon Hounsou, Lisa Bonet & more but… yeah, just not as gripping as it probably should be. Honestly, if you combine this family drama with the ridiculousness of Torque… that’s how you reboot the F&F franchise a few years later in Fast 5… maybe they were paying attention. Rating – 7/10 – The Last Supper mural is great… Let's see if we can get 7 movies in for next week's reviews... that's what we can a cliffhanger... Steve Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,
Wrapping up May with a few movies we'd wanted to see for a while... May 27 – Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (2023) FINALLY!!! We’d been waiting for the latest Guy Ritchie – Jason Statham collaboration for YEARS!!! “But Steve, it was in theatres” Yeah, so was Creed III & I haven’t seen that one yet either… same weekend… I currently have 17 movie credits to use at my local theatre (but more on that next week). Orson Fortune (Statham) is a special agent who teams up with a bunch of operative, including a movie star (Josh Hartnett) to find a McGuffin that’s being sold by a billionaire gun runner (Hugh Grant) and hijinx ensue. Now, I love Guy Ritchie movies usually… and Jason Statham movies. However, this one didn’t really grip me. Why? Well… yes, there’s the witty English banter like any other Guy Ritchie movie… but that’s really all that’s in this movie… and it’s not even particularly fun or anything. There’s also no sense of danger whatsoever… like I NEVER for a second think that ANYBODY is in danger from terrorists, thousands of gun shots, baddies in general, because Fortune is an unstoppable force apparently… even when everybody knows who he is a la James Bond… but his cohorts are too… including the movie star who’s constantly on the billionaire’s junk. I don’t know… it was only okay when it should have been great, maybe? Rating – 8/10 – Not worth the YEARS waiting but… it was alright May 28 – Torque (2004) Remember when they were trying to catch that extreme action movie wave in the early 2000s? Fast & Furious had come out… and then you got things like “Biker Boyz” & “XXX” and all those extreme sports & witty one-liner tossing action heroes? Well, this is one that we’ve been wanting to talk about on the podcast for a while because it was the most unabashedly blatant rip-off of Fast & Furious… including having the same producer… Vince was the bad guy in this movie… and they reference it like a dozen times in the 80 minutes runtime (including credits front & back). Basically motorcycle gangs, meth, Ice Cube is in it, FBI agent Adam Scott, throwing physics out the window before F&F even did… queue Nickelback… roll credits. Rating – 7/10 – This one is rough but… it was great to talk about with the History of Bad Ideas Podcast… coming in July!!! May 29 – Backcountry (2014) A couple go into the woods on a backpacking trip… and hijinx ensue as they run into a weird Irish tour guide (Eric Balfour) & the boyfriend destroys anything resembling a map because… don’t worry about it… so then they’re lost in the woods… with a BEAR!!! Now, I thought this movie was done pretty well except there was definitely a lot of drama… but hey, maybe you want to personify with the drama in a movie & it pulls you into the conflict. Me? I’m good with it just being two people who are in the woods & there’s a hungry bear… that’s all the real story that I need. Izzy did NOT like this movie… but to find out why… check out the podcast Everything I Learned From movies in June!!! Rating – 7/10 – Not bad… it’s a killer bear movie… what’s not to love? May 30 – Evil Dead Rise (2023) In this reboot/continuation (?) of the Evil Dead franchise… though really it’s just an exorcism movie about a demon taking over the family of two estranged sisters & the two kids of the eldest sister… oh and I guess the entire floor of the apartment building. Look, as a possession movie, this is pretty good. I’ve seen some good ones, I’ve seen some bad ones. This one is better than The Pope’s Exorcist really. However, it’s labeled as an Evil Dead movie… and it’s just a dark exorcist movie. There’s almost ZERO fun… and that’s the prime thing the franchise is known for. The gallons of blood too, which this movie has… but fun associated with it from director Sam Raimi & star Bruce Campbell, nowhere to be seen in this edition… so that affected my score. Rating – 8/10 – A good possession movie… but not an Evil Dead movie as far as I know May 31 – Scream VI (2023) The sixth edition of the Ghostface series and this time… he’s going to Manhattan. Well, the two sisters are in Manhattan now… and yes, all the previous Ghostface killers have been killed… but now there’s a cult of blah blah blah. Look, it’s possible for a meta-movie to get so meta that it literally crawls up its own a-hole in some sort of infinite loop of who gives a crap. Unfortunately I think this movie is kind of the limit for me on it. Yes, there are some clever elements thrown in, some decent kills & moments that are memorable… but 80% stuff that I absolutely do not care about. The drama with the sisters? Pass. The admittedly convoluted reasoning for anyone being there? Sure, call it a Red Herring. The ending? Feh… but yeah, you know what you’re getting into with a 6th installment in a murder franchise… even if it took nearly 30 years. Rating – 7/10 – It has moments but was kind of a slog… June is gonna be busy with art festival season kicking off (and that being Izzy's bread & butter besides actual bread & butter) but we'll keep you posted. Steve Good Afternoon,
Yup, getting close to busy season on the festival circuit... so here are some movies we watched... May 22 – Fast X (2023) We got to see an early screening of this movie the Monday night before it was released worldwide… and as you may have heard, we’re HUGE fans of the series… but that wasn’t always the case (see our episodes during April 2020 where we went through the series). In this installment, the son of a drug kingpin that they killed in “Fast 5” (Jason Momoa) is trying to take down Dominic Toretto’s family (Vin Diesel and half of Hollywood). Starting essentially with the final scene of the 4th installment, this series has taken the step from criminal with a heart of gold drama to FULL Superheroes who drive cars… and the villains have to match them… and luckily, Jason Momoa as Dante Reyes understood that he’s basically the villain in a video game & went full f**king over-the-top & I loved it!!! As usually, Vin Diesel is probably the worst part of the movie (only competition is Tyrese) but he’s learned to surround himself completely with other charismatic actors & some of the most ridiculous action set pieces that you can imagine (you’ve seen the trailer, right?). So what did I think? Rating – 10/10 – It’s not 10+ but it’s exactly what I thought & wanted it to be… and now I can’t wait for the next one!!! May 23 – Forest Warrior (1996) So… Izzy got to pick the theme & movies for June… so she went with Bear Month because we love killer bear movies… and then she said we HAVE to do this movie… where Chuck Norris is a shapeshifting forest spirit who protects the forest from loggers & kids are thrown in because Chuck can’t have more than 7 minutes of screentime. Hijnx ensue. Now, yes, there is a bear in this movie… as Chuck morphs into a giant bear at seemingly random times… and I can get behind the “protect the forest” & “take down the rich guy who goes against the rules that his kind even made to get ahead” themes of the movie… but yeah, it’s pretty rough. The fight scenes are kind of funny in a ridiculous manner but… it’s Chuck Norris. Rating – 6/10 – Not the greatest, not the worst, it’s what they set out to make May 24 – The Pope’s Exorcist (2023) Recently featured on the Flop House Podcast, I’ve heard nothing good about this movie. Based on true events in about the same vein as the Conjuring movies or religion in general, but it’s about an Italian man (Russell Crowe) who is the lead exorcist of the Vatican (ergo the Pope’s Exorcist, not the Exorcist who is exorcising the Pope for example) and based on the dates given, this is one of his first exorcisms as The Pope’s #1 guy as he goes to a Spanish castle where some Americans have just moved in (what?) and the young son has been possessed by a powerful demon… and hijinx ensue. Now… I get it… the main plot of the movie is a little… questionable… but you know what kind of movie you’re going into with a title like this. That being said… I’ve seen MANY worse exorcism movies & I’ll give it to Russell Crowe… he did a decent job with the Italian accent & charisma to play an aging exorcist. Will there be a bunch of sequels cataloging the tales of Gabriela Amorth or whatever the name of the real exorcist is? Of course not… the movie flopped in spite of them planting the seed for 199 other demons being unleashed upon the world at the end… and his young sidekick priest joining him. Rating – 8/10 – I actually enjoyed this movie & don’t understand the hate. I feel like most of it is from people who haven’t seen it though because the RT scores are fairly high. May 25 – The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) Making a movie for a video game like this is difficult. It’s even more difficult when you don’t really take the original stuff into the movie & go off on your own weird interdimensional Blade Runner thing as we found out in 1993. However, this is about as good a movie as you can make with the source material. It’s a fun romp of two plumbers who get caught up in hijinx in the Mushroom Kingdom against the evil King Koopa who has a crush on the local princess. Is this movie made for me? Not really… I haven’t played a Mario game since Super Nintendo, but it’s still a fun kids movie & Jack Black does a great job as Koopa. Rating – 9/10 – Like I said, just about as good as you can do with the material used May 26 – Cocaine Bear: The True Story (2023) This is a documentary about the real life incidences that “inspired” the movie Cocaine Bear earlier this year. Honestly, the bear isn’t the story until the minute when it died instantly after snorting a few grams of cocaine. However, it is a 40 minute documentary about a corrupt Kentucky cop who was running drugs from Colombia and… basically they don’t know what happened exactly but his corpse ended up splatting on somebody’s driveway when his parachute didn’t open when he was making a run with 80 pounds of cocaine in his hands & dumping a bunch into a nearby national forest. That’s about it. Was he trying to fake his death (it was 1985)? Did something go wrong on the plane? No one really knows… and one of their Southern dandy experts fancied himself a funny man but… I must’ve missed the jokes. Rating – 7/10 – Just raises more questions than anything… but a fun look at what corrupt cops have been doing since the beginning… yeah… See y'all next week! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Another busy week but somehow we manage... so here are some movies we watched... May 15 – Death Proof (2007) Often brought up as one of Quentin Tarantino’s worst movies, I absolutely LOVE this half of the Grindhouse double feature where we follow the exploits of Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) as he uses his “death proof” ’70 Chevy Nova to kill groups of women in horrific fashion. Throw in a bunch of QT dialogue & stunts by the amazing Zoe Bell and you’ve got yourself one of my favorite odes to genre cinema EVER! Rating – 10/10 – Only reason it’s not a 10+? Some parts drag with dialogue (and 2007 texting exposition) and I’m waiting for the sequel “Lee & Jasper’s Wild Ride” May 16 – Marlowe (2023) Liam Neeson takes on the role of literary noir private investigator Philip Marlowe in this film from the director of “The Crying Game” & “Interview with the Vampire” and after watching it… my wife & I started to wonder… can a decent noir movie be made in a modern setting now that everybody knows all the clichés & nuances of the genre? Thinking back, LA Confidential did it well but that was 25 years ago with a host of Academy Award winning actors & filmmakers… but for every one of those, there are dozens of “meh” takes that… I mean… a beautifully shot but… the acting or the stories of whatever just don’t grab you or give you intrigue. This one especially… I honestly didn’t care what happened in the story. Some rich broad wants her husband tailed but won’t even tell the PI why… you know, to create mystery or allure somehow, but honestly… the whole movie I was like “Well, this is where I politely decline to continue investigations due to you bullsh*tting me…” but I know that’s part of the genre, which I’ve enjoyed! Rating – 5/10 – Just didn’t grab me & was really boring and pointless… but beautifully shot! May 17 – Winnie the Pooh: Blood & Honey (2023) Yup, Disney is finally getting into the horror genre… no, of course not! The copyright on the classic children’s book has lapsed & so it was IMMEDIATELY announced that this movie was coming out thanks to public domain. A bunch of girls go to a luxurious AirBNB to “get away from it all” in the 100 Acre Woods… where Pooh, Piglet (and others you won’t see) have turned into neurotic speechless killing machines like Michael Myers because… their friend Christopher Robin went off to college for a few years. Don’t worry! He’s in the movie too! It’s what you think… pointless violence, random nudity, story that with a few simple tweaks would be consistent & still terrifying, instead is just kind of a jumbled mess… and the whole time you just think “It’s a big guy in a bad Winnie the Pooh mask playing Michael Myers” and… his buddy in a boar mask. Rating – 4/10 – Was it a total loss? No, some of the kills were decent but… yeah, just kinda rough all around & obvious cash grab May 18 – Renfield (2023) Nicolas Cage + Dracula + set in New Orleans + director of The Lego Movie + Nicholas Hoult as his familiar? Absolutely! Sadly, we didn’t see this in theatres (lots of reasons) but we were finally able to watch it and… it’s everything I wanted & more! Nic Cage HAMS it the f**k up in a role that he’s always wanted to play (even pulling out the weird accent from “Vampire’s Kiss”), Nicholas Hoult is basically this generation’s Hugh Grant… but can also be funny, Awkwafina is usually the best part of bad movies & this time she was a great part of a great movie, the violence & humor was reminiscent of Matthew Vaughn, yeah… this may be the movie of the year thus far. Rating – 10+/10 – I’m giving it a 10+ because I want MORE movies like this! It’s okay to laugh everybody! There’s also a great lesson about toxic relationship buried in there… May 19 – The Adventures of the Wilderness Family (1975) This movie came up on a list of movies with bear attacks for Izzy’s June theme… and it’s about a family of four (and a SUPERDOG) leaving the city life in LA for the wilderness life of the Pacific Northwest on a whim and… hijinx ensue. Now, it’s a G-rated modern 70’s retelling of Swiss Family Robinson from the director of “Ice Pirates” & “Mac & Me” but… yeah, it’s a kid’s show. They even take in a raccoon & two bear cubs as pets… and there’s a big bear that hangs around too… and Buck Flowers shows up as a prospector or something… harmless fun unless some family out there takes it in the vein of “I could live like this in the wilderness.” Spoilers: You won’t. Rating – 7/10 – Bears are great. Animals were harmed. Acting was meh… safe for kids though May 20 – Koala Man (2023) This was an 8-episode animated run on Hulu about an ordinary man with a secret identity in Dapto, Australia… and he’s trying to enforce the law (mostly like a meter maid or something) but then hijinx ensue & he has to balance that with the family life… and he’s not a great hero at that. It’s a comedy of course… Hugh Jackman pops up as the voice of his boss Big Greg. Jemaine Clemente & Hugo Weaving are in it too… it’s not the greatest but a good poke at Australia. Rating – 8/10 – Check it out, you can watch it in about the time of a Fast & Furious movie May 21 – Magic Mike’s Last Dance (2023) Yes, the third in the Magic Mike trilogy with director Stephen Soderbergh coming back to finish the growth of Mike Lane (Channing Tatum) as he’s a man in his 40’s wandering the Earth after the global pandemic… but then stumbles into a relationship with a beautiful divorcee billionaire (Salma Hayek) & she flies him out to London to direct a strip dance show at a legendary theatre that she got in the divorce settlement… you know, tale as old as time. So he assembles his Magic Mike’s 11 (though past costars only show up in a zoom meeting for two minutes) to put the show on… while dealing with an eccentric billionaire hottie… and her pretentious daughter who won’t stop narrating during the movie trying to convince you that dance is the most important thing that has ever been invented or something… and then THEY STEAL THE ENDING FROM AN EPISODE OF IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA!!! EVEN THE CO-STAR IN THE LAST DANCE!!! It’s ridiculous… but I still had fun watching most of it. Definitely didn’t need to be almost two hours long though… we get it… he’s hot… she’s hot… they’re going to end up together. Rating – 8/10 – The last half hour is what you all paid for… Tune in next week... because we got to watch Fast X a few days before its release & we have to talk about it... but not quite yet, no spoilers & all. Basically, go watch it starting tomorrow night WORLDWIDE!!! Steve Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,
Sorry I'm a little late this week... it's probably the start of things to come because my work & my wife fill my life with business & busyness... but here we go... May 8 – Croczilla (2012) The internet went out during a snowstorm… and physical media to the rescue for a bit of Tubi roulette… and we found a multi-pack that I bought a few years ago for a dollar that had 7 movies… and the premiere one on the cover was… this! Long story short, it’s a Chinese movie about a giant crocodile grown in captivity who gets loose in Hangzhou and the only people that can stop him are the man that raised him (as much as you can raise a croc), the local detective (who’s not that good at his job… like at all) & some random chick who got kicked out of a BMW at the beginning of the movie. To be fair… this movie was a LOT better than I was expecting. The frenetic pacing & style is interesting… even when the plot is pretty basic for the genre… and the CG can be ridiculous but… actually better than about 90% of this ilk. Rating – 8/10 – Subtitles may not be your thing but… I’d say give it a shot if you can take it May 9 – Piranha (1972) No, not the Joe Dante from the late 70’s that’s a campy treat. This one is from a few years earlier and is about a brother & sister who meet up with a friend in Venezuela to photograph the jungle, motorcycle through it and/or drink themselves into a stupor. Along the way, they meet a local hunter (William Smith) named Caribe at the hotel… and he offers to be their guide when they start asking about where you can find a diamond mine. Along the way, they realize that he may not be a cuddly character (even though they started as skeptical) and… well, the movie turns really dark when there’s about 15 minutes left. It’s a slow build before that but… yeah, it’s a decent loooooooow budget thriller… but then again, I wouldn’t be in the middle of the damn jungle with some jerk I just met anyway without a gun to his head or something because I don’t trust anybody so… the premise is weak to me. Rating – 8/10 – For a 50+ year old movie, I really enjoyed it but it drags at times. May 10 – The Mandalorian – Season 3 (2023) I’ve been saying it for years… and season 3 of The Mandalorian confirmed it… Captain Power & the Soldiers of the Future is a viable series in today’s entertainment industry. Why do I say that? This season has a bunch of Mandalorians in their mighty power suits taking on the forces of Darth Gideon a.k.a. Lord Dread. There’s a big one that I called Tank the whole time… throw in the super cute Grogu Baby Yoda & boom… the money rolls in. Rating – 10/10 – The story was a little whatever… but this is honestly as close as I’m going to get to a Captain Power series so… 10!!! May 11 – Children of the Corn (2023) Okay… so a little behind the scenes on this movie. Apparently it was filmed in the heart of COVID shutdown in 2020… and they’ve been sitting on it for three years… then just kind of released it with zero fanfare or promotion. Not a great sign. It’s the triumphant return of writer/director Kurt Wimmer who brought us “Equillibrium”… but also brought us “Ultraviolet” which was the last movie he made in 2006. Also, not a great sign. It stars friend of the podcast Bruce Spence as Pastor Penny. Great! The rest of the cast are kids. This… could go either way. You all know the story, right? Something wicked in the corn is causing the kids to do horrible things… or is it just a shared psychosis of these isolated farmer’s kids? Adaptation of the Stephen King story… relaunch of the series that apparently spawned a DOZEN movies. Here’s what I’ll say. The main kids weren’t horrible. The evil girl was by far the best performance… but as is tradition with Stephen King stories, the parents are idiots, drunkards & fodder… the other kids are okay… and the movie does the cardinal sin by showing the monster… and it’s f**king GROOT!!! The movie is violent but pointless… and honestly one of the worst constructed movies I’ve seen in a long time… but I love Bruce Spence getting work! Rating – 3/10 – “Old” is the last movie I can think of that baffled me at every turn with the choices it made. Battlefield Earth levels of filmmaking. May 12 – Deadly Eyes (1982) From the director of “Enter the Dragon” & “Gymkata” comes the story of a city run amok with killer rats the size of dachsunds in rat outfits… Scatman Crothers makes a cameo… hijinx ensue! Definitely not enough martial arts for the director’s repertoire… but it’s instead replaced with an odd romance between a professor, an environmental shipping agent, and some silly college student who wants a piece of the professor despite his constant refusal. It’s a weird tale of terror… and I enjoyed it but it’s not super special. The dogs in rat outfits is kind of funny though. Rating – 8/10 – Cannot complain and mildly fun just with how awkward some scenes get May 13 – Rampage (2018) Watched this movie in a special preview before it was released in theatres… it’s Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and a bunch of CGI creatures destroying Chicago & other random locations in the U.S. Loosely based on the 80’s video game… have not pulled the trigger on it for Ape-ril on the podcast YET but yeah… it’s exactly what you expect. Malin Akerman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Naomie Harris & others pop up for a bit… harmless fun… Rating – 9/10 – The Rock is too charismatic for his own good… May 14 – The Wild Beasts (1984) The animals at a zoo in “Northern European City” (Frankfurt, Germany) have gone wild & broken out the zoo causing havoc… but why? Spoilers: Though it’s in the trailer, all the advertising & any descriptions of the movie though it’s treated in the movie like a big reveal… it’s PCP PUMPED INEXPLICABLY INTO THE DRINKING WATER though only a few kids & no other humans are affected!!! Hijinx ensue. This is an Italian made movie… and so there’s a LOT of fun craziness that happens… Elephants on the runway at an airport… rats eating people & cats… a polar bear chasing kids… a cheetah chasing a car… lots of lions & tigers & hyenas tearing at dolls filled with meat… it’s exactly what you expect… and throw in some crazy misogyny while you’re at it… and a Stephen King level ending… Rating – 9/10 – I really enjoyed this movie… but I love Italian craziness & animal exploitation movies Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
We're back from Southern Utah... and we've seen a few movies... May 1 – The Lawnmower Man: Director’s Cut (1992) Yup, the extended 2+ hour cut of Lawnmower Man from director Brett Leonard is on Tubi… with an extra 40 minutes or so from the theatrical cut… and honestly, I really liked it. The whole opening portion is completely different with more time for the escaping ape in the beginning… and more backstory for Jobe & his living situation… and a more subtle transition from Simple Jobe to Cybergod. You know the story, right? Local dim 20-something lawnmower (Jeff Fahey) meets up with handsome mind doctor (Pierce Brosnan) and hijinx ensue with mind experiments & VR… insert questionable CGI even for 1992 standards… but yeah, I like the theatrical cut… and I LOVE the director’s cut. Rating – 9/10 – Honestly makes it feel more like a Stephen King story (though the real Stephen King story is NOTHING like this) May 2 – The Mask (1961) No, not the Jim Carrey one! This one has an archeologist find a mask (that I looks like a disco ball but in black & white?) and instantly feels like he’s cursed by it… and kills himself… but before he does that, he mails it to his psychologist friend… who slowly loses his mind… and every time he puts the mask on, we get some fairly decent 60’s 3D mind melting sequences driving him insane. As far as 60’s horror goes… it’s not the worst or most boring… but it’s a little silly at times too. Rating – 8/10 – Some of those sequences are kind of fun & creepy… not much else will stick though May 3 – The Bubble (1966) New season of MST3K had this one… about a husband, his pregnant wife & a pilot pulling off an emergency landing into a city… but it seems to be a bunch of zombie-like people… and they basically stay for WEEKS trying to find a way out, including digging underground, and hijinx ensue. This was like a 90 minute Twilight Zone episode… but not one of the great ones… one of the fillers or something. Maybe if it were 22 minutes it’d hit better but there were long areas of nothing. Rating – 6/10 – Kind of boring… but fun with MST3K stylings May 4 – The Christmas Dragon (2014) Another MST3K one about a group of medieval orphan kids who go on a journey with a poor man’s Jack Sparrow to restore magic to the land and SAVE CHRISTMAS?!? Okay, I’ll be nice… the two main girls were tolerable… but just about everybody else was questionable at best. I understand it’s not a great script or anything though, so I don’t blame them. It’s… even by Christmas movie standards… kinda ridiculous & not in a good way. Rating – 5/10 – Then again, could I have done better? Probably not… feel free to pass… or watch MST3K May 5 – Knock at the Cabin (2023) That’s right! Time for the next M Night movie!!! I think the lowest score I’ve given since starting this thing was for “Old” a while back… because it’s horrible. Everyone has seen the commercial (and therefore the movie) where it’s four “Strangers” led by Dave Bautista dressed as a Jehovah’s Witness talking to two daddies & their tiny Asian child saying that they have to sacrifice one of them in order to save the world from the Apocalypse… and hijinx ensue. What kind of hijinx? The hijinx you expect. “No way! You’re crazy!” Something happens to prove their point. “You can deepfake that! Screw you!” Tidal wave takes out populated coastline. “COINCIDENCE!!!” And it goes from there… that being said… Bautista & some of the performances were great… which is more than I could say for “Old” and most other M Night movies. So did I enjoy this? Rating – 6/10 – Meh… decent tension & great performances… but yeah, the ending is exactly what you expect from M Night… nothing good & makes any sense May 6 – Plane (2023) Pilot Gerard Butler & convict Mike Colter (Luke Cage) have to crash land a commercial airplane in the Phillippines… and then have to join forces to save the passengers from a terrorist group… and hijinx ensue. Is this going to be the Movie of the Year for 2023?!? Probably not… because Cocaine Bear exists… and Fast X is coming soon enough… among others. Did we enjoy it?!? Of course! It’s violent action with Jerry Butler & they’re already talking sequel!!! Rating – 10/10 – Not quite a 10+ but a lot of fun… and I highly recommend. May 7 – The Stunt Man (1980) We’re doing this one for the podcast… but I had not heard of it before doing research for Stunt Man movies (and of course this came up given the name). Basically an escaped convict (Steve Railsbeck) evades the law… and stumbles onto a movie set where the eccentric director (Peter O’Toole) convinces the authorities that he’s one of his stuntmen… and gives him a job on his next production… but at what cost?!? Throw in Barbara Hershey as the love interest & you’ve got yourself a movie. Look… I’ve only seen Peter O’Toole in a few things… and he f**king KILLS it in this movie!!! There’s also so much action it’s hard to keep things straight… and you MUST hear all about it on the podcast… or watch it on Tubi!!! Rating – 10/10 – I absolutely loved this movie!!! Great action, great performances, you have no idea what’s going to happen at any point, damn near 10+ More on the way... and thank you for reading... yes, YOU! You're the one!!! Steve Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Off to our Southern Utah road trip... so until our return... here are a few movies we watched... April 22 – Undeclared War (1990) During our trip to Cincinnati, homey Michael Bagford took us to a record shop that had a Vinegar Syndrome movie section… and he had mentioned that he really enjoyed this one… so Izzy bought it for $35 because she has seemingly limitless funds at her disposal (me). I knew NOTHING about this movie… but basically think “Rush Hour” where a Hong Kong Special Branch cop (Danny Lee) and a CIA agent (Peter Liapsis) team up to bring down a master of disguise terrorist (Vernon Wells) and Olivia Hussey is involved too. From acclaimed action director Ringo Lam (Maximum Risk, Replicant, In Hell) and yeah… this movie did not disappoint at all. Vernon Wells is a treasure as the villain… the action is great… it’s what you want it to be & there are some turns the movie takes that are hilarious & great. Rating – 9/10 – It does drag at some spots where there’s no action… but yeah, give it a watch! April 23 – Destroyer (1988) Tubi recommended this one about a serial murderer (Lyle Alzado) who’s executed in the opening scene… and then we cut to 18 months later where a movie crew (including director Anthony Perkins) are making a schlock film in the now-abandoned prison… and hijinx ensue when the murderer… apparently didn’t die!!! Yup, Lyle Alzado as a maniacal killer months before his untimely death in a prison setting… it’s what you expect. Rating – 8/10 – That being said… it’s a lot of fun with Anthony Perkins playing the director & Deborah Forman (April Fool’s Day) as a stuntwoman April 24 – Hell Baby (2013) This one was recommended by my friend Kaliecia who lives in New Orleans… and you find out why immediately as it’s a comedy about an expecting couple (Rob Corddry & Leslie Bibb) who move into a haunted house in New Orleans… but when it becomes apparently that the wife is possessed & having the devil’s baby… the Vatican is called in! This also stars Paul Scheer, Keegan Michael Key, Rob Huebel, Michael Ian Black & starring/directed by Reno 911’s Robert Ben Garant & Thomas Lennon. My favorite part is probably Keegan Michael Key’s character because… having been to the Big Easy a few times… I know a few of these people who randomly pop up in your house & seem to be your best friends though you barely know them. Rating – 9/10 – A lot of fun poking fun at the exorcism genre… check it out! April 25 – Mean Guns (1997) Director Albert Pyun (RIP) has made some strongly entertaining movies (Cyborg, Blast, etc.) so when I found out there was a movie where crime lord Ice T corrals 100 of his enemies into a new prison to have them fight it out over $10 million… I was in! Wait, Christopher Lambert is the star?!? DOUBLE IN!!! There’s definitely some great parts to this movie (the action primarily) but there’s also a LOT of extra stuff that doesn’t need to be there making it a full two hours. The pacing is bad. There are plot twists that don’t make any sense. Overly dramatic slow motion that leads to nothing. That being said, if you watch this movie at 1.5x speed or something, it’d be quite fun at times. Rating – 6/10 – Not nearly as good as the potential April 26 – Deathcheaters (1976) Friend of the podcast Brian Trenchard-Smith brings you this amazing tale of two best friend / Vietnam vets / stuntmen (John Hargreaves & Grant Page) are recruited by the Australian government to take out a fortress in the Philippines. Okay, actually that’s like the last 30 minutes of the movie. The first hour is their witty hijinx as stuntmen & being general badasses in high speed chases & practicing for other stunts. This movie is great action fun… and the dialogue is surprisingly witty in an Aussie way. I can’t recommend this movie enough for a fun action watch. Rating – 9/10 – It’s not going to be for everybody… but it should be. April 27 – Stunt Rock (1978) Also on the “Man from Hong Kong” Blu Ray from Umbrella Entertainment (like “Deathcheaters”) comes the BTS tale of real life stuntman Grant Page coming to Los Angeles to do a few stunts, have some fun, and hang out with his cousin who’s in the band Sorcery… that has a full live magician stage show with their rock concert!!! That’s basically the plot. Along the way, Grant explains why he’s a stuntman to a reporter (played by Brian Trenchard-Smith’s wife of 48 years) and we got a LOT of flashbacks to past stunts that he did, while also mixing in some new ones in her presence. Is it a great movie? I mean… it’s more like a compilation of Sorcery music videos & Family Guy-esque cuts of flashbacks like “it reminds me of that time I nearly died on the set of Mad Dog Morgan” but… I find it entertaining as all hell. Rating – 8/10 – That being said, the music of Sorcery isn’t great… and that’s half the movie. You see why they add the magic show. April 28 – Neon Maniacs (1986) Another Tubi recommendation where a woman in San Francisco is hanging out with her friends near the Golden Gate Bridge one night… and a bunch of homicidal demon monsters show up & kill everyone else but she gets away! The authorities don’t believe her at all… and then more people go missing… and another teenage boy & preteen girl meet up with her to find out what they are & how to stop them. Now… the monsters & practical effects in this one… are actually pretty dang good. It’s a good quick 90 minute horror flick that you’ll probably enjoy if you like the genre… but while a lot of people in this didn’t do anything else, it’s also the debut of Andrew Divoff (Blast & Wishmaster) who plays the evil doctor demon. Rating – 9/10 – Definitely worth a watch if you’re the fan of the genre April 29 – Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) WHAT?!? A movie before 1981?!? Shut up… yes, the movie that catapulted the Jane Crawford-Bette Davis feud into the stuff of legend… where the now-grown Baby Jane Hudson (Bette Davis) is taking care of her paraplegic older sister (Jane Crawford) but then… she basically starts losing her mind big time & keeps her a prison in her own home while deciding to eliminate her completely. This movie… is really good. Sure, it’s a slooooooow pace at points because it was made 60+ years ago but still suspenseful. The only real drawback is… look… Izzy & I were both watching this & screaming “SAY SOMETHING!!!” to the imprisoned sister when people were visiting or outside her window and… for whatever reason, she did nothing… so we pretty much lost a lot of empathy for her… but that may just be our mentality. Other than that, there’s a reason it’s a classic & now we want to watch the “Feud” series where their feud is brought to you by the creators of “American Crime Story”. Rating – 9/10 – SAY SOMETHING!!!!!! April 30 – Island of Terror (1966) This was a Peter Cushing movie that… I don’t think was Hammer Films but definitely had that sort of feel to it… but on a budget. Basically there’s this remote island town where these creatures show up that look like turtle shells with a tentacle… that liquefies bones of all it touches… and they’re multiplying at an exponential rate. How will they stop them? Honestly… I didn’t really care by the time they figured it out… but it was kind of fun to watch them try & fail a bunch of times. Rating – 6/10 – Not a whole lot to this movie… but a typical 60’s weak horror flick See you in May... maybe... Steve |
Steve and Izzy
Steve and Izzy are the hosts behind the EILFM podcast, are BJCP beer judges and have terrible to questionable taste in movies. Along with the PodCats Pickles, Cameron and Poe they will justify why these movies are amazing Archives
March 2024
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